DARREN ARONOFSKY DIRECTING CLIPPY BIOPIC

BREAKING NEWS – The Studio Exec goes on set with Darren Aronofsky directing Clippy The Movie. We managed to catch up with the Requiem For A Dream and Mother! writer / director to get the latest on his new project. With Darren Aronofsky directing Clippy The Movie, we find out what drew him to this surprising project.

Darren Aronofsky Directing Clippy? Thanks For Taking Time Out To Talk With The Exec

To be honest, I’m glad to have something else to do. I’m just sat there on set, twiddling my fucking thumbs.

Why Is That?

We decided to make Clippy a combination of stop-animation and CGI. There’s fuck-all for me to do. It’s just people running around with green body-suits on and plasticine. Actually, it’s kinda sexy, now I think about it.

Can You Tell Us Anything About The Movie?

Yeah, why not? Who Cares? It tells the story of Clippy. Everyone over the age of 35 will remember that little motherfucker popping up on your computer and saying, ‘It looks like you’re trying to write a letter. Would you like some help?’ It’s a story about someone compelled to just be annoying because he’s constantly shunned for mansplaining every time he opens his mouth. It’s a story about toxic masculinity that leads him down a path of alienation and self-destruction. If you think The Wrestler meets Requiem For A Dream, but set in an animated kids world, you can’t go far wrong.

Jesus.

Yeah, he’s also in it. The main part of the film tells the story we all know. But then, things get really fucked up and trippy in the last third of the movie. You know, like they did in Mother! There’s all sorts of creepy, pseudo-religious images because Clippy is wandering the digital wastelands. He’s searching for redemption and meaning in his now redundant life. It’s an age old tale. I guess we all grow old and insignificant and because of that, we assign meaning where there isn’t any. It’s like T.S Eliot said, ‘I will show you meaning in a handful of dust.’

You Kinda Lost Me There?

Look, just plug the fucking movie, because it’s got loads of CGI shenanigans going on. Think Wallace and Gromit meets Angel Heart with a bit of Tron thrown in and you’re basically there.

Clippy The Movie Is Due To Be Released Next Year

MICKEY ROURKE TO PLAY DAVID ARQUETTE IN THE WRESTLER 2

HOLLYWOOD – Mickey Rourke returns to the ring in sequel to The Wrestler, playing David Arquette.

David Arquette is the subject of the new Mickey Rourke film that is billed as an unofficial sequel to The Wrestler, for which he won an Oscar nomination. Arquette has had acting roles in the Scream franchise, Never Been Kissed with Drew Barrymore and Beautiful Girls. He has also appeared in numerous TV roles, both in starring roles and cameos. What many don’t know he is also a huge Wrestling fanatic. Last night he fought Nic Gage – not to be confused with Nic Cage – and accidentally cut his throat open when Nic Gage cut his throat.

Mickey Rourke spoke to the EXEC EXCLUSIVELY:

I’m a big fan of David as an actor. The work he did in Friends was unbelievable. Something we all sat up when we saw. But now what he’s doing with Wrestling is something else. I fully respect what he’s trying to do. Ready to Rumble was bullshit but this is the real thing.

Director Darren Aronofksy will return.

Yeah, we already talked. The thing you have to understand about Darren is that he’s an artist. He believes in never repeating himself. Always moving forward. But Jesus after the stomping he took with mother! he was prepping Noah 2: Off the Boat when we called. He almost jumped down the phone.

 The Story

We’re going to be true to David’s story, from the beginnings where he took it all as a joke. Right to the Emergency Room where he realizes ‘What the f*ck am I doing? I have kids!’

The Wrestler 2: The David Arquette Story comes out in 2020. 

JENNIFER LAWRENCE LEAVES DARREN ARONOFSKY CITING ‘ALLEGORICAL DIFFERENCES’

HOLLYWOOD – Hunger Games actress Jennifer Lawrence and director Darren Aronosfky have split after a year of dating, claiming ‘irreconcilable allegorical differences’.

The Hollywood romance between American Hustle actress Jennifer Lawrence and Mother! director Darren Aronofsky is over. Their whirlwind romance lasted little over a year but many people were already struggling to find a snappy abbreviation.  Chapeau editor Xavier Poulis told the Studio Exec:

We tried DarrLaw and Jenofsky but nothing really held. I liked Dajeoflawosky but no one could say it.

The reason for the split came out of a source close to the actress who prefers to remain anonymous.

It was never going to work. Darren would always say that their relationship was really a metaphor for the creation of the world. He was God and Jennifer was the physical Cosmos. His fans were like the brainy people in the world. And hers were people who consciously eat food from buckets. Jennifer on the other hand said that their relationship was actually an analogy of America in 2017.

In that it contained a lot of anger and confusion?

In that it was fucked.

Many fans expressed fear that the Mother! sequel currently in the works, with Lawrence due to star in and Aronofsky direct will still go ahead.

Mother!! will be released in 2019.

DARREN ARONOFSKY TALKS MOTHER 2!

HOLLYWOOD – Darren Aronofsky is in talks to direct Mother 2! a sequel to his controversial film Mother!

Following showings at Venice and Toronto, Darren Aronofsky’s Mother! has been one of the most talked about films. It has garnered boos and an F from an unappreciative audience, despite the presence of big hitter Jennifer Lawrence and Javier Bardem. Aronofsky is however unfazed and is already in talks to follow up the sequel.

I want to go back to the house if you know what I mean. With Mother! I did something truly remarkable. I took an allegory for the creation of the universe and the effect of mankind on the natural world, mixed in some stuff about celebrity culture and put together a rocking good time. Obviously, I immediately wondered if I could do it again. After all, the film is about a cycle, so it wouldn’t be hard to go back to the beginning and start again.

So the story is…?

The story would start right at the end of where Mother! stops. Then it just goes on through, pretty much the same with some minor differences.  I could make this movie over and over for the rest of my career.

Wouldn’t that…?

The only problem I have is where to put the exclamation point.

I can give you a suggestion. 

You are hilarious SE!

For our review of Mother! CLICK HERE.

 

VENICE DIARY DAY 1

VENICE – The 74th Venice Film Festival is underway.

Day One of the Venice Film Festival and the sound of hammers striking wood and the smell of fresh paint is everywhere on the Lido. The place looks a lot better. The Lovecraftian hole that had been a feature of the festival for the last few years has been filled in. The toxic materials have been transported to Austria where even now Michael Haneke is transforming them into what he likes to call ‘comedy’.

The next ten days have a lot to recommend them but here are some highlights.

  • George Clooney will be directing a movie with Matt Damon called ‘It’s Not Monument Men’
  • Alexander Payne has a new film with Matt Damon called ‘It’s Not the Informant’
  • Darren Aronofsky has come out of retirement with a film that radically doesn’t star Matt Damon
  • There’ll be a film from Denmark that will be brilliant but no one will ever see outside of the festival and Denmark

For more on the Venice Film Festival, come right back here.

 

DENTIST TO THE STARS: 2. MILA KUNIS

HOLLYWOOD – Malvin Putobis, Dentist to the Stars, lifts the lid on the pearly whites of Mila Kunis.

Hi! My name is Malvin Putobis and I am Dentist to the Stars. I can’t tell you how much time I’ve spent inside the mouths of the rich and famous. Drilling here, polishing their, occasionally (sniff) extracting. My best pal the Studio Exec asked me if I could reveal some of the secrets about my famous clients. Immediately I said, ‘No f*cking way!’ Then he mentioned money and I said:

Mila Kunis is a delight. Why Malvin? you ask. Well, I’ll give you it in three words: ‘Gums, gums, gums.’ That’s right. Lots of people think that the secret to good teeth is in the shine of the enamel, but for us pros of the mouth the enamel is the tip of the oral iceberg. The gums are where all the action is and Mila has always been one of my favorite clients. I think it must have something to do with her coming from Russian stock. You can imagine her Grandmother riding the Steppes holding the rein of her horse clamped between her sturdy teeth, hoping that the strength of her gums will be enough to keep the Bolsheviks at bay.

Mila first reclined on my chair – the Putobis 5000 – for the first time in 2010. She’d just got the gig to do Darren Aronofsky’s Black Swan and was smoking a lot of cigarettes. I worked on the discoloration and then stood back in surprise. ‘What is it?’ Ms. Kunis asked. ‘It’s your gums,’ I said. ‘They’re pure and beautiful.’ From that day forth, we’ve been friends. Though when I finally saw Black Swan I couldn’t believe it. She didn’t once show her gums in the whole movie, but that’s just testament to what a modest actor Mila really is.

Next week, Martin Short.

DARREN ARONOFSKY AND DAVID FINCHER FOUND ALIVE AND WELL AFTER HAVING GOT LOST IN THE WOODS

HOLLYWOOD – Film directors Darren Aronofsky and David Fincher have been rescued alive and well from the Appalachian Trail which they had begun two years ago.

Black Swan director Darren Aronofsky and his best pal Seven director, David Fincher yesterday emerged from the woods in Georgia. They were dehydrated and hungry, but otherwise in good health.

Darren Aronofsky and David Fincher decided to embark on the Appalachian trail in 2014, following the release of Fincher’s Gone Girl, an adaptation of the best seller by Gillian Flynn. However, friends of the pair became concerned when the two film directors failed to contact anyone for six months. A friend of the pair told Studio Exec:

The boys had wanted to do this trail for years. But I was always worried, because neither one of them is particularly capable. I remember David telling Darren, ‘The first rule of the Appalachian Trail is you don’t take a map of the Appalachian Trail.’ I thought that was dumb. I was hoping that Darren would have more sense, but then again he did think Noah would be a hit, so what does he know, right?

 According to Aronofsky, problems began almost immediately:

We set off but whenever I asked David about a decision – putting up the tent, lighting a camp fire, orienteering – he just kept telling me that he’d fix it in post with CGI.

However, Fincher also criticized his companion:

Darren is a wonderful friend, but he isn’t very practical. He kept haring off into the woods looking for what he called ‘the cure for death’. I think it was something Natalie Portman had told him about.

A Walk in the Woods 2 will be released in 2018.

THE FOUNTAIN 2 CONFIRMED

HOLLYWOOD – Following Logan, Hugh Jackman will star in The Fountain 2, Darren Aronofsky revealed today.

Talking EXCLUSIVELY to the Studio Exec, Darren Aronofsky spoke of The Fountain 2 and the return of Hugh Jackman as the Man:

The Fountain was a film that dealt with mortality and the search for immortality. It asked the question ‘Why do we have to die?’ So it was natural for me to think about why does the film have to die? Why can’t we see what happens next?

So what happens next?

The idea is that Hugh has achieved immortality, not through the eating of a root or a hallucinogenic revelation as in the first film, but instead via a military experiment which replaces his skeleton with an adamantine substance that is impervious …

Wait.

Impervious to any violence. Along with the other X-Men, he seeks to go beyond worrying about death as the Earth is threatened by a blue light which shines up from a city to open a portal or something. Fight, fight, fight, smash, bang wallop!

But isn’t this just Wolverine?

I need a hit man. I really need a hit.

The Fountain 2: Logan Returns will be released in 2017.

47 FILMS: 21. THE FOUNTAIN

In our continuing series of ’47 Films to see before you’re murdered in your dreams’, we look at Darren Aronofsky’s The Fountain.

Wolverine (Hugh Jackman) is a conquistador invading an ancient Mayan… no wait, sorry he’s Buddha, he’s a big bald Buddha floating in a bubble and looking after a tree … no hold that thought, he’s a doctor, a doctor with no sense of humor, experimenting on a monkey called Donovan hampered by a dying wife (Rachel Weisz) who’s writing a novel with a fountain pen. Or maybe he’s all of these things. Or maybe…

Following a tortured production history, The Fountain premiered in 2006 at the Venice Film Festival and was roundly and horribly booed. So much so that when The Wrestler won the Leone d’Oro, Mickey Rourke said on stage that ‘last time Aronofsky was here he fell on his ass.’ And there is a lot that is wrong with the film. It is preposterous, silly, doesn’t make much sense and Hugh Jackman is a limited actor, shown up by some of Aronofsky’s most cloth-eared dialogue: ‘Death is a disease just like any other and I WILL find a cure.’  The scale of its ambition also leaves it open to cries of pretension, especially with the scaling back of its budget so everything looks like what it is, shot on a sound stage in Montreal. But all that aside, this is an enjoyably mad ride. The music by Clint Mansell is astonishing, one of the best scores of recent years, and Aronofsky is constantly inventive. This is the Tree of Life as a graphic novel. There are moments where you’ll laugh at how ridiculous it is and other moments you might find yourself quite bizarrely touched.

For more of our 47 Films Click Here.

RIDLEY SCOTT WILL NOT DIRECT LEVITICUS

HOLLYWOOD – Despite the massive critical and commercial success of Exodus: Gods and Kings, Ridley Scott will be taking a back seat on the sequel, tentatively titled Leviticus.

In the running to direct are Denis Villeneuve or Joe Cornish or possibly Darren Aronofsky. A spokesperson for Scott’s production company shed some light on the development of the project:

Christian Bale is on board and we have a script. The film begins with Moses (Christian Bale) having rescued his people from the Pharoah and taken them towards the promised land. As anyone who knows the Bible will tell you Israel was a lot further from Egypt than it is today so they spent years getting there. In that time the people need guidance and so Moses sits down and writes out a series of very complicated laws governing rituals and diet and what not.

Why did Ridley decide to forego directing?

As you can tell from even the must cursory of readings of Leviticus, it isn’t a very cinematic book. It doesn’t ahve any of the set pieces that Exodus has – the plagues, the parting of the Red Sea – but when we got the rights we also had the sequel rights and no one had read the book. We’ve been working on a script for some time, but there is a hell of a lot about cubits and seafood. So we think perhaps a younger director might be able to bring something to the mix.

Leviticus: Rules and Regulations will be released in 2017.

MICKEY ROURKE IN RAGING BULL SEQUEL

HOLLYWOOD – The first pictures from the long awaited Raging Bull 2: The Moscow Tour have hit the internet, showing Mickey Rourke in action in the ring.

A sequel to the Robert de Niro/Martin Scorsese classic Raging Bull, the picture sees Jake La Motta (Mickey Rourke) travelling to Russia to fight a series of exhibition bouts and in the process foil a plot by the Russian Mafia to start World War 3.

Director Darren Aronofsky reuniting with Rourke following their success with The Wrestler spoke to The Studio Exec EXCLUSIVELY:

We thought this version was going to be a much lighter piece than we did before. But at the same time I have a lot of respect for Scorsese’s original, especially Paul Schrader’s screenplay. Truly magnificent. He really made it real. So in a way will I. We’ve got Mickey actually touring Russia now and fighting real bouts. We’re stealing a lot of footage from this and we’re going to incorporate it into the film. As much as I like the original I think you’ll find RB2: The Moscow Tour will improve on it.

How so?

Well, for starters it’s in color. I haven’t got a clue what Scorsese was thinking about, but black and white? What a stupid idea!

But Pi, your debut film was in black and white.

Shut up. And Mickey Rourke as an actor is much better than Robert de Niro. In the way that Hugh Jackman is vastly superior to Brad Pitt.

Okay.

And as a writer I’m better than Mr. Schrader. Though I do respect him. But everything can be improved upon. And yes, that includes the Bible.

Raging Bull 2: The Moscow Years will be released in 2016.

DARREN ARONOFSKY CONFIRMS NOAH PREQUEL

NEW YORK – During an interview at the New York Film Festival, Darren Aronofsky told the journalists that he intended to film a prequel to his hit film Noah, provisionally titled Genesis.

Although Aronofsky said the production was in its early stages he did confirm that Adam Driver and Eva Mendez are going to play Adam and Eve, and that they’ll be tempted in the garden of Eden by Russell Brand.

Darren Aronofsky told assembled members of the world press and the Studio Exec EXCLUSIVELY:

The only reason I want to do it is because people have told me its a stupid idea. I did the same thing when they told me a film about ballerinas was a non-starter. They said hiring Mickey Rourke to play a wrestler would be a disaster. They even said that Hugh Jackman trying to cure death via magic mushrooms would not be a popular movie. Okay, they were right with the last one, but this has hit written all over it. Also to keep the consistency of names that I’ve got going in the cast, I’ve also got Genesis to agree to provide the soundtrack.

 

Genesis: The Invisible Touch will be released in early Spring of 2016. 

 

NOAH: NOTES FOR GOD

HOLLYWOOD – On the release of Darren Aronofjy’s Noah, the Studio Exec has some notes for the original author.

Dear God (or the Creator as you prefer to be known),

I’ve just seen your film Noah and I have some notes. 

1. You make no sense. You mumble more than Marlon Brando. You seem to communicate with your main man with the same fast-cutting technique that Darren Aronofsky used to show drug addiction in Requiem for a Dream, and with similarly disastrous consequences. These visions are MTV cool (well done) but liable to misinterpretation by a sad eyed psychopath and his family of Nazi vegetarians.

2. As an actress Emma Watson is a great Hermione Granger. Anthony Hopkins has lost a lot of weight since I lost saw him, but his character also seems to have lost the plot. First he has a magic sword, then he doesn’t. Hangs about a mountain, drinks tea, tries his hand at some amateur gynecology? He isn’t a character, he’s a Swiss army plot device. And Ray Winstone is portentous donkey plop.

3. Well done for the Biblical correction apple to pomegranate, but less well done with the stone trolls from Middle Earth.

 4. The CGI looks like Tubal Cain did it. Steve Carrell had a more convincing ark-full. And if you send all the animals to sleep – for nine months – doesn’t … don’t they … I mean… what? And why is everyone dressed in Apocalypse by Diesel? 

Finally, ignore everything I’ve just said. I’m glad the film is stupidly silly, utterly unconvincing and comically foolish. The morality of the film is so disgustingly wrong that if the film was in any way convincing, moving or interesting, there’d be a danger that someone other than the deluded cavemen of fundamentalism might take it seriously. The eco-bollocks simply reminded me that Hitler was a Vegetarian. 

I can’t believe how radically wrong this film is. We spend the whole time worrying about poor Noah and his mental health. Imagine if we had a similar rendering of any other genocidal story – a Rwandan village chief, Pol Pot, a Gulag guard, a concentration camp executioner – and the main thrust was how sorry we should feel for the killer because of the damage that his cruel (but necessary) work does to his family life and his psychological well being. 

Noah felt like what the murderers of The Act of Killing would have produced had they been granted a Hollywood budget. So thank the lord (I suppose that’s you) it’s so bad as to be almost beneath serious consideration.

Yours Sincerely,

Studio Exec

DELUGE OF WEATHER PUNS FOLLOWING NOAH RELEASE

HOLLYWOOD – As a direct result of the release of Darren Aronofsky’s Noah, bloggers, film reviewers and journalists have been inundating us with their best weather puns.

Already predicted to sink or swim, the film is also like to flood marketplaces, rain on the opposition and news that Exodus is already in production means that when it comes to Biblical epics, it never rains but it pours. There are thundering performances even if some of the dialogue is windy, Anthony Hopkins a bit drizzly and the plot itself long-winded. 
Veteran film journalist Hammers Hammerstein said: 

A ‘deluge’ (oh God) like this I’ve not seen since the long running Marathon Man debacle of 1976. We just all sit around thinking of puns we’ve been saving for a rainy day. Jesus Christ. I can’t stop!

 As the clouds clear and the waters fall, the puns are expected to clear up in the late afternoon, early evening in time for the new version of Annie which promises ‘the sun will come out, tomorrow’. 

Noah is a fictional character, any similarity to persons living or dead is entirely coincidental.