RESERVOIR DOGS DIRECTOR’S CUT TO INCLUDE DELETED BANK ROBBERY

HOLLYWOOD – Quentin Tarantino will release a director’s cut of his debut hit Reservoir Dogs which will include the much discussed but never seen bank robbery.

Reservoir Dogs has to go down as one of the best debut movies ever. Quentin Tarantino was 29 years old when he unleashed the blood-splattered crime thriller on audiences. And in the process inspiring a host of copycats. In the film a bunch of professional criminals first plot and then deal with the aftermath of a heist. Although we hear all about what happened, we never actually witness the mayhem.

However, in a new theatrical release we are finally going to see what went down as Tarantino puts back in one of the most famous deleted scenes ever. He told the Studio Exec:

We were making the film for very little and so the scene that was most important, the robbery, was, I think, a little clunky. There were basically technical problems to do with lighting, grading etc. that made it unuseable. However, now with technology we can actually fix that and put it back in.

Wow.

When we showed the film at Sundance, everyone thought I was being clever, not showing the robbery. I let them think that because I didn’t want to disappoint. Now enough time has passed and finally, you’ll be able to see the film I wanted to make.

Can you give us a taste?

Yeah. There are things that are really funny that in the original film didn’t make sense. For instance, you know how Harvey Keitel is talking to Tim Roth about the manager being Charles Bronson. Well, when they get in the bank Charles Bronson is actually the manager and they do this double-take!

Hilarious. How the hell did you get Charles Bronson?

He was a good friend of Harvey’s so he agreed to do it for free. Then Michael Madsen mentions Lee Marvin…

I bet you’re a real Lee Marvin fan!

Yeah, exactly. So Lee Marvin is there as a customer. Not actually Lee Marvin, because he died a few years earlier but a lookalike.

So it was a lot more comic. 

Yes. And you how Mr. Blue gets wasted. It was pretty strong. He gets his face entirely shot off. And he’s running around without his face. It’s shocking, but it’s also really funny.

Are there any other deleted scenes?

There is a whole section where Mr. Orange just paints his toenails. Of course in the original cut if you look carefully you can feel that Tim has his toenails painted but you don’t see when he did it. Oh and there’s another five minutes at the end. An alternate ending. We find out what really happens. I call it my Lindelof ending.

Oh fuck.

Yeah, it was all a dream.

Reservoir Dogs: The Director’s Cut will be released in January.

DAMON LINDELOF’S BLADE RUNNER 2049 EMAIL

HOLLYWOOD – We publish Damon Lindelof’s email to Ridley Scott. 

Written while Blade Runner 2049 was in development this email sees Damon Lindelof and Ridley Scott discussing possible story ideas for Blade Runner 2049.

The Studio Exec has obtained a copy of the Blade Runner 2049 email. It says things you people wouldn’t believe:

hEY rIDDERS OH WAIT CAPS LOCK


Hey Ridders, Jesus where’s delete? Never mind. I mean. What the hell! Right Scottish? We can fix it in post. It’s the Damon-ster here. I know you said you weren’t sure you wanted me to help you with Blade Runner 2049 but I’ve been thinking really hard about it and I’ve got some ideas things for the plot like concept of the story notes perhaps. So here goes. 


The years is 2072, right? OK and Deckard’s like this old Blade Runner. And he’s got this fresh, brash partner (I’m thinking Shia LaBeouf or perhaps Channing Tatum). OK. And they get a mission to go after the Nexus 17 replicants right. And Deckard has a lot of bullshit from his boss cause he ran off with a replicant and what not and it ended badly, but he only has a week left until his retirement (some comedy here with possible confusion about Deckard being a replicant who’s about to be retired LOL). Anyway they go after the replicants but this time they follow them to the off world colonies and there are like shit loads of chases and what not, and Deckard says (more than once) “I’m getting too old for this shit”. He says it like three or four times, like it’s a RUNNING GAG and ironically it’s because he’s a RUNNER who is too old to RUN. Right?
 
Anyway they meet this really old woman who looks like exactly like Vanessa Redgrave (we can get Guy Pearce for this and put him in an old woman suit) and she’s like Tyrell the 4th or something. And she explains that actually all human beings are replicants because we’ve all been created by a higher power, which is like god but really actually just like super intelligent sperm people. You dig? Anyway, deep shit, deep shit, running, some more deep shit. Then they corner the Nexus 17 and Tyrell in this super dangerous and they could just call for back up, but for some reason (I haven’t worked this bit out but who cares) they just run in guns blazing. Something heavy falls on Tyrell can kills her for no real reason and polar bears start attacking. I know, fantastic, isn’t it?
 
They kill the polar bears or something. then confront Nexus 17 Ray Batty who reveals himself to actually be the son of Deckard and Rachel and Deckard is crying but just completely like blows him away. Fade to Black. A Celine Dion, music Vangelis and with lyrics by moi ‘Tears in Rain’ over credits:
 
I’ve seen things you people wouldn’t believe — eeeeeeve
Polar bears attacking me and my son, 
About Rachel Replicant I grieve — eeeeeeeeve
What have I done, done done
 
SAX SOLO


Blade Runner 2049 will be released in 2017.

       

HOW TO WRITE A SCREENWRITING: PART 1. INTRODUCTION

HOW TO WRITE A SCREENWRITING – Is a new feature that will lead you through the process of  writing a screenplay in the tradition of the great gurus Robert McKee, Syd Field and Damon Lindelof.

Part 1. Story – camera – action.

A man walks into a room. That’s a story! A woman eats a peach that’s too big for her small mouth. That’s a story! A dog has worms and keeps rubbing its rear end on your new carpet. That’s not a story. You just need to take the dog to the vet and buy a new carpet. The point is we are surrounded by story. Story is everywhere. It is in the food you eat, on television, in the newspapers, in the conversation of your co-workers. Story is the warp and woof (there’s that dog again) of life, the rich tapestry from whence we all come, the undiscovered country to whence we all go.

But how do I write a story? Which story should I choose? What story do people want to hear? And what’s the difference between a story in a book and a story in a building?

All these questions will be answered in this 23 part on line course on How to Write a Screenwriting. Whether you want to be the next J.K Rowling and die under the weight of all the money, or you want to be the next Charlie Kaufman and die under the weight of everyone going ‘what?’, How to Write a Screenwriting is the ONLY online resource you need as a screenwriter who wants to write a screenwriting.

Of course writing is not easy. Look at the title to this whole course that I’m writing. Have you looked? Okay, the more perceptive among you will have noticed that there is something not quite right, something that the unkind might refer to as ‘wrong’.  Of course, I wanted to write ‘How to Write a Screenplay’ but I was also thinking of ‘A Guide to Screenwriting’ and so accidentally I wrote ‘How to write a Screenwriting’, erroneously combining to the two titles because I was hungry and I was thinking about dinner – I’m thinking lasagna specifically. So do I go back and change it? NO. Why not? Well, for one thing it’s more work. But the more important reason is that LIFE DEPENDS ON MISTAKES.

Think about it.

All multi-cellular life comes from errors in replication of DNA. If there weren’t any errors, if everything was perfect, then no evolution. No evolution then no complexity; no complexity, then no us. No us, no cinema. No cinema and we’re out of a Goddamned job, just because the asshole DNA worked too damned well. Perfection is the death of life and the death of story. Do you think Jonathan and Christopher Nolan wanted to write Memento? No, they just kept forgetting the story-line and had to keep going back. Do you think Larry McMurty wanted Brokeback Mountain to be a heart-breaking gay love story? No, the original novel has the two cowboys fighting but a slip of the pen and fellatio as all over the page! Do you think Quentin Tarantino meant to write The Hateful Eight? No, his original screenplay was supposed to be called The Careful Eight, but one accidental slip of the fingers and suddenly he has to write something violent to justify the wrong title.

You NEED to make mistakes. And I promise you if you follow this EXCLUSIVE online Screenwriting course, you will be making tons of them.

JAMES CAMERON TO MAKE PROMETHEUSES

MIAMI – Ridley Scott revealed today that he would not be directing the sequel to Prometheus as he had ‘muffed it up the last time’ and would be passing the reins to James Cameron.

“Prometheuses” will be released sometime in 2017 and will be the second time that James Cameron has taken over a franchise started by Ridley Scott. Speaking from a hot tub in Florida, Ridley Scott said:

I was really looking forward to getting back to the Alien universe, but something went wrong. I could blame Damon Lindelof and his Pigs in Space script and so I will.  

Cameron said he was first approached about the idea soon after Prometheus had been released.

They came and asked what I thought about doing a sequel and did I have any ideas. I said sure, I did. I said, what if there were more Prometheuses? Like a whole army of them. And there was this bunch of rough neck marines sent in, led by (obviously) Michael Biehn. 

Prometheuses? You mean … but the space ship was…

I mean the horrible creatures that burst out and the blood ….  hisssssss… argggghhh! Kapow, kapow. Ka-BOOOOM (in 3D).

You haven’t actually seen the film have you?

No, not actually seen it. No. But they said that would be an advantage. 

Prometheuses will be due out sometime in 2017.

BILL MURRAY TALKS GHOSTBUSTERS REBOOT

HOLLYWOOD – Comedy legend and occasional drinker, Bill Murray, has been secretly recorded denouncing the script for Paul Feig’s Ghostbusters reboot in a Los Angeles bar.

Murray released his tirade in celebrity hangout Bar Marmont after consuming what one onlooker described as a “S*it load of tequila.”

We cannot print the transcript of the recording in full as it goes on for five and a half hours but below are some choice excerpts from Murray’s devilish diatribe:

9.35 pm

F*cking Feig, he comes over to my house with this stupid script and expects me to roll over and take it from behind. Don’t get me wrong, I f*cking love Paul, he’s like the cousin I never drowned but he wouldn’t know good writing if it burrowed into his fat ass and laid an egg.

10.22 pm

I mean you should read this f*cking thing! I’ve not read a script this bad since Lindeloff accosted me in the Laker’s bathroom with a copy of Prometheus.

10.54 pm

I dig the chick thing, I dig it, but they want f*cking Ricky Moranis to return. I mean…how the f*ck is that going to happen? He’s been freebasing crack for 15 years and last I heard the police had caught him naked in his neighbor’s garden looking for miniature people. The guy’s off his tits and they want to strap a f*cking nuclear reactor to his back?

11.25 pm

F*ck Groundhog Day man. F*ck Lost in Translation, The Royal Tenenbaums and the mother f*cking Life Aquatic. The best movie I ever made was Larger Than Life. I f*cking loved that goddamn elephant.

12.13 pm

Seriously, the Marshmallow man is the US President and Slimer’s a post-op transsexual. I mean, what the f*ck were these writers smoking and where can I get some?

12.57 pm

WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU’VE GOT NO CREME DE MENTHE? WHAT KIND OF F*CKING COWBOY OPERATION ARE YOU RUNNING HERE?

1.45 pm

NO I WON’T PUT MY F*CKING TROUSERS BACK ON! WHO THE F*CK DO YOU THINK YOU’RE TALKING TOO? I’M BILL F*CKING MURRAY! ONE PHONE CALL TO SPIELBERG AND I COULD HAVE YOU KILLED, MOTHERF*CKER!

BLADE RUNNER 2: DAMON LINDELOF ARRESTED

HOLLYWOOD – Damon Lindelof has been arrested after defying a court order making it illegal for Mr. Lindelof to approach within 200 metres of the Blade Runner sequel, tentatively titled Blade Runner 2.

Judge Jorges Harenton had ruled in his judgement in June of this year, soon after seeing Prometheus, that Mr. Lindelof should obey the restraining order as he has had a history of causing a huge amount of public distress, especially with his ‘bullshit plotting and cloth-eared dialogue’.
Judge Harenton went on to write in his ruling, that the Lost writer ‘had grievously and with knowledge aforethought caused untold damage to what had been like the science fiction horror film of all time.’
Mr. Lindelof had responded  by saying ‘Is this serious? that can’t be right’ and had treated to the restraining order as a joke. He was found in the early hours of this morning emailing Ridley Scott with a story outline (to read the email CLICK HERE). In his possession was a heavily annotated copy of Philip K. Dick’s Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? the book on which the original film was based.
In a surprise twist, STUDIO EXEC can reveal that it was Ridley Scott who telephoned the police on receiving the email.

BETTER CALL SAUL TO FEATURE ZOMBIES

HOLLYWOOD – Breaking Bad spin-off Better Call Saul will feature zombies, AMC confirmed last night.

The show – which is due to broadcast early in 2015 – stars Bob Odenkirk as the eponymous lawyer Saul Goodman prior to his involvement with Jesse Pinkman and Walter White. Show creator Vince Gilligan told the Studio Exec EXCLUSIVELY:

We really wanted to differentiate it from the original show, Breaking Bad, but at the same time we know that it needs to be big. So I was watching The Walking Dead and I thought, ‘Hey! What if we had zombies in the new show?’ I came into the writer’s room the next day and when I told them my idea they were all so happy they literally fell around laughing. I went and rewrote the pilot straight away.

But how will the zombie apocalypse fit in with the rest of the plot?

At first it didn’t, but then I was talking to Damon Lindelof and it was really liberating because he just said, ‘How do you know they’re not ALL already dead, from the very beginning?’ I had never thought that you could do something like that but once I realized they could all be dead and the only thing would be a kind of dream like in Jacob’s Ladder then you don’t really have to worry about consistency or logic or anything.

But does that mean Breaking Bad…?

Yep, they’re all dead.

That’s sh…

Shockingly good. I know.

Better Call Undead Saul will be broadcast in 2015.

JJ ABRAMS TO PRODUCE LINDELOF

 HOLLYWOOD – JJ Abrams is set to return to the world of long running mystery TV shows with Lindelof, due to screen on AMC this Fall.

The show, which has already been green lit for a 7 season run by AMC will focus on the titular character and his inexplicable macabre influence on pop culture. The press release gives us a tantalizing glimpse of what is super 100% sure to be a global hit!

Visionary writer and director JJ Abrams invites you to join him on a quest into adventure and intrigue with his new show Lindelof

Starring a cast of some people who were in Under The Dome and Sliders, Lindelof will challenge you to ask the ultimate questions: ‘Why is Lindelof?’ and ‘Is this purgatory?’ and ‘Where are my shoes?’ But, hey, don’t expect an answer. (Your shoes are where you left them.)

The story takes place entirely in the mind of a struggling writer (Kaufmanesque?) bitching about plot holes on an Internet forum in 2006 (or does it?) and has cool ideas about something to do with the pyramids, Erich Von Daniken books and the Bermuda Triangle that will be thrown out by Season 2, probably. Viewers can expect to see really cool teasers with cryptic clues for the next few months and even the odd glimpse of what could be Lindelof himself, or it might be the shadow of Stanley Tucci superimposed on a replica of the Mayan calendar! One thing’s for sure: Abrams ain’t telling the guy writing the press release! I’m not complaining though, this is an okay job I suppose. But I’m a writer too you know, and I have some really high concept ideas that would kick serious box office butt. Still, at least I’ve got my foot in the door. 

Wait a second…I’m a struggling writer, this show is about a struggling writer. Am I a part of the show? Is THIS the show? Is this some kind of meta advertising? Am I typing in hieroglyphs? What do these numbers mean? 23  42 889  

 Lindelof is coming soon. 

IS THE LEFTOVERS COMPLETE SHIT?

HOLLYWOOD – With the Rapture all the rage, the new Damon Lindelof and Tom Perotta scripted drama, The Leftovers on HBO asks the question couldn’t God have taken Damon Lindelof and Tom Perotta as well.

The pilot sets up its premise with alacrity. One day a bunch of people disappear, skip to a few years later and everyone is post-9/11ing the shit out of it, including a maudlin Sheriff (Justin Theroux), whose wife has joined the Guilt Remnant, a religious cult and whose daughter is a hockey cheat and whose son has run away to follow a messiah type figure. There’s a crackpot Christopher Eccleston and the small town mayor played by Amanda Warburton.

Continue reading “IS THE LEFTOVERS COMPLETE SHIT?”

HOW TO WRITE A SCREENPLAY: 1. DAMON LINDELOF ON STRUCTURE

Our new series will see guest contributors teaching us step by step how to write a screenplay. In this first article, Damon Lindelof explores the mechanics of structure.

Structure is all important. At its most basic it is a three act structure. A beginning, a middle and an end. Morning, noon and night. Birth, f*cking and death: 

Act 1 Something happens

Act 2 Polar bear, and then

Act 3 something else happens. 

Of course, three act structure will only give you the big picture, the tent poles on which you need to stretch the canvas with which you are going to paint the cinematic town red will come later. And metaphors are important too. So after getting your three acts, you’ll need to have another two for the fuller five act structure. 

This goes: 

Act 1 something happens

Act 2 something happens [Act 2 of 3 act structure]

Act 3 other things happen [Act 2 of 3 act structure]

Act 4 something else happens [Act 2 of 3 act structure]

Act 5 ‘resolution’.[Act 3 of the 3 act structure] 

And within this you need character arcs (or sometimes called trajectories). You’ll have about three or four main (or A characters) characters even if you have a few more B characters.

So now you have:

Act 1 Something happens. Type A Protagonist(s) established

Act 2 something else happens Type A protagonist(s) has a problem/mission/dilemma/loses his dog

Act 3 other things happen (Doesn’t matter what: scientists take their helmets off in alien environment, for instance) Type A protagonist(s) has sex with Type B character (usually a ‘woman’)

Act 4 something else happens) Type A Protagonist learns something about themselves or Type B character or not

Act 5 [Act 3 of the 3 act structure] resolution: Type A protagonist realizes they’ve all been dead all along.

Next week Quentin Tarantino discusses writing ‘character’.

JERRY BRUCKHEIMER RE-IMAGINES THE MONA LISA

 PARIS – Standing gaping at the enigmatic smile of Leonardo da Vinci’s Mona lisa in the Louvre; movie producer Jerry Bruckheimer was distinctly overheard planning a drastic re-imagining of the renaissance masterpiece.

21 year old Canadian backpacker Matt Walker was first on the scene to capture the blue sky thinking of the Hollywood hit machine as he brazenly discussed radical new directions for the silent 16th Century visage. Walker’s tumblr blog reports:

It was such a thrill to be there to witness the master in action, the way he works a concept, his effortless phone networking with creatives in far flung locations all over the world… awesome! just awesome! 

In a spoiler filled post, Walker fully discloses all the possible plot details of the project, highlights include:

  • Bruckheimer is insisting on full 3D IMAX treatment for a fully immersive experience.
  • A scenery cameo for Johnny Depp’s Captain Jack Sparrow, just over her left shoulder, creeping up and whispering ‘shhh’ to the viewer.
  • A high concept chase involving one of Da Vinci’s un-produced ‘Bat-Copter’ sketches.
  • A subplot about a troubled love affair with the Jesus Christ from Da Vinci’s Last Supper to be explored in a prequel painting.
  • The addition of a mechanical ‘Space Squid’.
Bruckheimer has since confirmed that the project is indeed being fast tracked and that he has already commissioned a few concept easels from Brett Ratner and a rough plot outline from Lost and Prometheus scribe Damon Lindelof
 
UPDATE: Bruckheimer has entered the sculpture section and is now brainstorming with the security guards about a Twilight style teen fantasy about a girl who falls for a statue of Roman Emperor Nero. McG is set to direct.

LOST MOVIE IS GO

HOLLYWOOD – It’s the news everyone has been waiting for: cult TV show Lost is coming to the big screen in the David Lynch helmed Lost: the Motion Picture.

Scriptwriter Damon Lindelof told the Studio Exec the script was ready and the principal actors ‘had nothing better to do’. He went on:

This will be my opportunity to set things right. I know a lot of people had issues with the show finale and I got a lot of shit for it. I get it. I get the anger. But – having watched Breaking Bad and left Twitter – I think I’m more than capable of pulling this one out of the fire in a way that will surprise and impress many people.

Director David Lynch declared himself enthused with the prospect of bringing his own surreal vision to the material:

When I did Twin Peaks a lot of people went ‘Woah, what is this? A lady with a log?’ And so later when Lost came out, I was like ‘Oh right so this is better? F*cking polar bears?’ But now I met Damon and we can bury the hatchet. I must say I’m impressed with the way Damon has written the script. He employs Eastern meditation techniques, emptying his mind completely and then writing.

Although naturally not wanting to give away any of the ‘plot’, Mr. Lindelof did hint at the direction the film would take:

We’ve scrapped the finale completely. That was a dream that Jack wakes up from after he accidentally inhaled some of his the new batch he was cooking. He needs to rescue Kate and Hurley and the others from some neo-Nazis. So he gets this machine gun and – this is the clever bit – he has it on a robotic thing so it will move from side to side. Anyway that’s all I can say. And he’ll have a shaved head and a goatee.

Lost will be released in 2015. 

GUY RITCHIE CONFIRMED FOR HE-MAN AND THE MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE

LONDON – As soon as he wraps on the eagerly anticipated Man From U.N.C.L.E, professional cockney Guy Ritchie will begin pre-production on a live action version of He-Man And The Masters of the Universe.

“The script has been knocking round Hollywood for Donkeys,” said Ritchie.

I got hold of it, gave it to my old china Damon Lindelof, he had a butchers and said he’d sort it.

The original screenplay closely followed the plot of the animated series but Lindeoff has opted to take the story in a different direction.
 
“It’s set in 90s London,” said Lindelof.

Skinny student Adam works at a pub in the East End of London called The Greyskull, run by hot landlady Angie Sorceress. Underworld boss, Jimmy Skeletor wants to take over the The Greyskull but Angie doesn’t want to sell. One night Jimmy sends around some goons, trashes The Greyskull and beats up Adam who is brain damaged in the attack. Afraid for her life and her business, Angie hatches a plan. She’ll nurse Adam back to heath, pump him full of steroids and brainwash him into thinking he’s an alien superhero called He-Man from the Planet Eternia. From then on fantasy and reality become blurred. Adam begins to believe he is on Eternia fighting Skeletor and his henchman. Of course, it doesn’t end well. In fact the final scenes are reminiscent of the bloodbath at the end of Taxi Driver. Imagine if Travis Bickle had a magical sword rather than a gun and you’ll get some idea of the level of carnage we’re aiming for.

Asked if the graphic violence will effect potential merchandising and tie-in opportunities, Lindelof said everything has been taken care of.

Obviously we cannot legally say that children should see this movie but you know, we live in a digital age and it’s difficult to know what your kids are watching so Mattel will be bringing out a range of action figures, clothing, stationary and matching bedspread and curtain sets. In fact only yesterday I was looking at the official coloring book. It’s great, really brings the movie to life and you get a free packet of claret colored crayons with every purchase.

He-Man and The Masters of The Universe is due for release in 2015.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY STUDIO EXEC



HOLLYWOOD – It seems like yesterday that a fresh faced young studio executive was first slapped in the face by David Niven’s mustache and my adventure in the Hollywood dream factory began. But times passes and even this new venture – a ‘website’ as I believe they are called – although so new is now actually one year old today. And what a year it has been.  

We went from a small twitter following – a mere one – to now tickling the lower prickly regions of 20,000!  The site that averaged 3 visits a day now clocks in at 2000. It hasn’t all been plain sailing. But here are some of the highs and lows:

  • William Friedkin accused us of ‘bullshit’ when we reported – correctly as it turned out – that he had originally intended to use Henry Mancini’s Pink Panther music instead of Tubular Bells for The Exorcist. 
  • Damon Lindelof responded to our petition to keep him from writing Star Wars Episode 7 by signing it! Revealing a hitherto unsuspected sense of humor.
  • Kevin Smith encouraged others to plagiarize the site when making stuff up about him.  
  • After publishing his criticisms of Lee Daniel’s The Butler, Spike Lee threatened to sue us for slander, until we told him it was libel. Our offer to start a Kickstarter campaign to help with his legal fees didn’t placate him strangely. 

Some have called us ‘The Onion of the movie world’, but others have liked what we do. If you are of the latter please pop a Happy Birthday message in the comments below or blow smoke up our ass via twitter @studioexec1. And don’t worry about lavishing praise and sycophancy on me. As I once said to Marlon Brando, ‘You want to put some butter on that’.