STEPHEN KING’S LEGO MOVIE 2 SCRIPT LEAKS ONTO INTERNET

HOLLYWOOD – The Lego Movie 2 is already in production, but Stephen King’s script has apparently leaked onto the internet.

Everyone loved The Lego Movie. But now you can read the script to The Lego Movie 2, written by Stephen King.

INT. BEDROOM. NIGHT.

A man and his wife are sleeping in bed. A soft THUMP is heard. 

 WIFE

(Waking up)

What’s that, honey?

MAN 

Go back to sleep sweetheart, I’ll go and check it out.

The man gets out of bed. He looks at his slippers. 

MAN

(to himself)

I guess I don’t really need to wear those. 

He walks out of the bedroom and down the corridor to his son’s room. 

INT. SON’S BEDROOM. NIGHT.

The son turns over in his sleep. There are a pile of comic books on the bed and another one slides off the bed and lands with a THUMP. Tiptoeing, DAD crosses the room and moves the comic books to the shelves and then tucks his son in with a smile. Turning to return to his bedroom he…

CLOSE UP on barefoot:

…steps on a piece of Lego. 

He SCREAMS in agony. And falls in slow motion. CUJO the LEGO dog leaps from the shadows and tears an arm off. LEGO Annie Wilkes chops his foot off at the ankle with a LEGO ax handed to her by LEGO Jack Torrance. The creepy LEGO twins stand blocking DAD’s path.

LEGO TWINS

Come and play with us Daddy. Forever,

and ever,

and ever.

LEGO Pennywise lead the others in song.

ALL

(singing)

Everything is terrifying,

Everything is terrifying

(when you’ve stepped on a LEGO).

FINE

For more Script Leaks, Click Here. 

EDDIE FROM FRASIER TO PLAY CUJO

HOLLYWOOD – Eddie – the comedy dog from Frasier – is to star in the remake of Stephen King’s Cujo.

Eddie – the most comically likeable dog in television history – is to appear in a big screen remake of Stephen King’s Cujo. He spoke EXCLUSIVELY to the Studio Exec about the role:

I’ve not had much work after the last episode of Frasier wrapped. It wasn’t easy. I even changed my name. My birth name is Moose.

Why did you change it to Eddie?

A combination of Stanislavsky and cocaine. Then I sobered up and through a series of chance encounters, a bit of serendipity, I got this opportunity. People are going to be really surprised by this role. I’m pushing against the stereotypes. Hopefully, everyone is going to be pleasantly surprised.

But in the novel Cujo is a giant Saint Bernard. How are you going to beef up for the role?

Firstly, I went on a macrobiotic diet, a lot of protein and I have a personal trainer who worked with Chris Evans for the Captain America films. And you know this is exactly what I want to do. People see me and they think, aw how cute. It’s a cage. I don’t want be fucking adorable. I want to be a mean motherfucker and this film gives me the chance to break out and really show that side of my personality.

And how about your former Frasier co-stars?

I’d like to say I see Kelsey now and then, but the fact is we worked for ten years on that show. If I never see him again it’ll be too soon.

Cujo is set for 2019.

 

STANLEY KUBRICK REALLY WANTED TO MAKE CUJO

HOLLYWOOD – Stanley Kubrick’s lost Stephen King movie – Cujo – revealed by scholar.

Stanley Kubrick completed thirteen feature films in his career. However, the director was known to have planned other films such as an adaptation of Perfume, his Holocaust drama The Aryan Files, a biopic of Napoleon and revealed in a new book, the Stephen King novel Cujo.

Kubrick scholar Alfonso Bratt talked EXCLUSIVELY to the Studio Exec about this new discovery.

Stanley loved Stephen King’s work, and he planned after completing The Shining to make another Stephen King immediately. Originally he was writing a screenplay for The Stand, but he found the story difficult and then in 1983 Cujo came out and Stanley was really taken by it. He immediately contacted NASA and asked them to make him a large dog, which they did. NASA would do anything for Stanley. With British horror writer James Herbert, Kubrick began to breakdown the novel and write a first draft screenplay, but then King began to play tough about the rights. King did not like what Kubrick had done with The Shining. And he was not happy at the prospect of Kubrick adapting another of his books. So he basically kept raising his asking price until Kubrick realized it was never going to happen.

What happened next?

Stanley got interested in The Shorttimers, as Full Metal Jacket was then called. Stephen King let an adaptation of Cujo be made by another director and Stanley’s love affair with Stephen King was pretty much over. Although I believe there’s still a NASA made robotic dog somewhere in a barn in the south of England.

The Cujo that Could Have Been by Alfonso Bratt is available from all good bookshops and Amazon.

 

TOP 10 DOG MOVIES (WITHOUT DOGS)

VENICE – Like the word dog, but not actually dogs? Yeah? Read on, bitches.

  1. Dog Day Afternoon: No dogs. Just sweaty Al Pacino.
  2. Reservoir Dogs: No dogs. Just bleeding Tim Roth.
  3. Dogma: No dogs, though the film itself was a dog…at the box office!!!
  4. Ghostdog: Way of the Samurai: Pigeons but no dogs.
  5. Man Bites Dog: seem to remember a dog on the beach.
  6. Straw Dogs: No dogs, straw or normal.
  7. Lords of Dogtown: A town but with people in it.
  8. Wag the Dog: No dog just politics!?
  9. Dogs of War: No dogs, of war or otherwise.
  10. Mad Dog and Glory: No dog just Uma Thurman and she’s lovely.

If you or a member of your family have spotted a dog in aany of the fore-mentioned films let us know and we’ll have it put to sleep. You’re welcome.