SAN DIEGO – Five states ban Cosplay.

The increasingly popular hobby of Cosplay – short for ‘costume play’ and involving adults gathering to wear costumes inspired by their favorite films and TV shows – will be illegal in five states: Colorado, Ohio, Delaware, Kansas and New Mexico as of midnight tonight. 

Motivations for the Cosplay Bans vary and include issues of public health and decency. New Mexico’s governor Susana Martinez said: ‘Grown adults dressing up as Captain Jack Sparrow and Padme from the Phantom Menace is f**king dumb’.

Cosplay enthusiasts responded with anger. Mark Jerkins of the Cosplay Association of America commented: 

We are adults who enjoy dressing up in fancy dress-like costume, immersing ourselves in a fictional world, often with a kinky slant. And we demand respect. We should get it.

 However, opponents of Cosplay are themselves organizing with membership of the anti-Cosplay pressure group Grow Up now reaching the 3 million mark. Spokesperson Martina Simons explains her opposition to Cosplay in this way:


I was into Cosplay at first, because it gave me a structure to my otherwise confused life. It was also a chance to escape the grim realities that pressure us all. But then a friend of mine introduced me to substance abuse and I’ve never looked back. Drug addiction isn’t the answer for everyone, of course. And it has its own problems – especially the health and economic drawbacks. However, to anyone kicking Cosplay I would argue at least drug abuse isn’t embarrassing.

With GU and the CAA both at loggerheads, a long and drawn out battle in the courts looks likely. This could go all the way up to the highest levels of government, with both groups boasting of powerful allies. Cosplay advocate Johnny Depp is expected to testify in front of a special Senate Committee, whilst Andy Garcia has allied himself with GU, stating in a special video message: ‘They’re all a bunch of babies and they need their asses kicking’.

For more on this story, keep reading


TEXAS – Following a recent attack at the San Diego Comic-Con, another  ‘Zombie Walk’ incident has been reported in Houston,  Texas, where hundreds of fans of the TV show The Walking Dead accidentally attacked, pulled limb from limb, eviscerated and finally ate a coach load of Portuguese tourists.

The tourists were reportedly en route to a site of historical interest when they were intercepted by the cosplay nutsacks. Continue reading “ZOMBIE WALK DEATHS IN TEXAS”


SAN DIEGO – Comic-Con is off and having a lot of fun among the costumes, publicity material, panels, and lack of sex; but there are secrets and little known pieces of FACTRONICS that The Studio Exec have dug up and translated out of Dothraki and into English for your reading pleasure.

1  Comic-Con was started as a comedian convention in San Diego in 1978. Robin Williams, George Carlin and Richard Pryor were in the first panel, but after Billy Crystal and Jerry Seinfeld both branded it as ‘bullshit’, comedians stopped attending and the vacuum was filled by comic book fans who were – amazingly – adults!

2  Simon Pegg and Nick Frost made a film set in Comic-Con called Paul. Though the film was supposed to be about their love of geekdom, both actors were recorded recently saying how much they hate geeks and wished that ‘they would all go away and die’.

3  JJ Abrams frequently visits Comic-Con and wanders around totally undisturbed by fans, due to the fact that he can’t be seen because of the lens flare that surrounds him.

4  The official language of Comic-Con is still Klingon though many are now switching to Dothraki.  

5  Although costumes and Cosplay were initially voluntary, it is now compulsory and anyone caught in downtown San Diego without latex can be fined or forced to play some kind of athletic sport, like sex.