COMMUNITY TO BECOME A RUSSIAN NOVEL

HOLLYWOOD – Dan Harmon’s nomadic sit-com Community is to be written as a thousand page Russian novel, the Studio Exec learned today.

Community ran for four seasons on NBC before finding a home at Yahoo! site for its fifth. With that season over, there have been many rumors about the possibility of a motion picture or another season, or indeed both. However, the Studio Exec has learned that the show will be written as an epic Russian novel. At the moment it isn’t certain which Russian novelist will have the privilege of chronicling  the next adventures of Greendale Community College and its zany students and faculty, but many believe that Fyodor Dostoevsky, a long running fan of the show, would be a perfect fit.

Xavier Poulis, a Swiss TV expert who writes for cultural quarterly Chapeau, told the Exec:

Dostoevsky  has to be the front runner, but I wouldn’t entirely rule out Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn, the writer of Cancer Ward and the Gulag Archipelago. Although both have a tendency to serious and quite depressing subject matters,  Solzhenitsyn does have the advantage of only being quite recently dead, dying in 2008 whereas Dostoevsky has been dead for yonks more.

Harmon on his podcast Harmontown announced the news that Community would be make the leap onto the page with typical bravado:

When I first came up with the idea of Community and I wrote the original pitch, I immediately imagined the characters being on the Tundra and speaking in thick Russian accents. The studio head told me no and I didn’t have enough power then to resist, but now I am the master of my own destiny, in as much as any of us can be in this godless void, I feel only a Russian master can bring to life Abed, Britta, Jeff Winger, Annie Edison and the Dean to my full satisfaction. My heart was set on Tolstoy but I’d settle for Gogol, or a Vassily Grossman. Or even Bulgakov.

Cообщество will be published in 2016.

2014 CANNES PREVIEW: SPACE NUGGET 3D

CANNES – Community show-runner Dan Harmon will be on the Croissette next month with his directorial debut and the opening film of the Cannes Film Festival, the eagerly awaited 3D spectacular Space Nugget starring Aaron Eckhart.

Little is known about the film, except that it is not a comedy and has been trailed extensively on the Harmon Town podcast. One industry insider who saw an early cut of the film described it as being ‘similar to Gravity in its basic scientific inaccuracy’.   

The first act tells the story of a mining operation in what is described as the most dangerous asteroid field in the Universe. Aaron Eckhart plays Captain Martial Pending, a space pirate, who seeks refuge behind the Space Nugget when a desperate Space Robbery goes wrong, but then they are caught up in an intergalactic war between The Corporation and the Love Biscuit Front. Eddie Murphy plays a straight role as villain Luther Larry Legal.

Dan Harmon himself has denied all knowledge of the film and maintains that the whole thing is a ‘joke’.

Space Nugget 3D will premier May 14th.

MODERN FAMILY STARS ASK EMMYS TO STOP REWARDING SHOW

HOLLYWOOD – In a shock statement the stars of Modern Family have requested the Emmys stop rewarding them.

‘It’s getting embarrassing,’ said Ed O’Neill, who plays ageing patriarch Jay. ‘We have to walk past Larry David and Louis CK to pick up this award every year and I just can’t look them in the eyes.’

‘Enough already,’ said Ty Burrell who plays Phil Dunphy. ‘It’s actually making people hate the show. I’d vote for Community, but it doesn’t even get a nomination. That’s just such BS.’

Christopher Lloyd one of the show’s creators said late last night:

I created the Goddamn show and I can tell you it is not that good. There are other shows. Jesus. I mean the documentary thing for a start. That’s just a lame rip off of The Office and we’ve never been able to get shot of it. You put that beside the innovation of Louis CK or Veep or Community… Enough already.

Jon Stewart also bashed the awards as The Daily Show won its tenth (TENTH!) consecutive Emmy for outstanding variety show, beating Real Time with Bill Maher.

A Modern Family Movie is due for release in 2017.

DAN HARMON TO PURGE COMMUNITY

HOLLYWOOD – Dan Harmon – the reinstated showrunner for NBC’s Community – has revealed that Season 5 will open with a special episode during which he will symbolically purge the show of all the ills of Season 4.

‘The idea is simple,’ said a deliriously happy Harmon, who will appear in the episode as himself. ‘We’ll have the cast members and writing team brought in one at a time and we’ll go through all their flaws, professional, personal, and physical, one by one and we’ll tear into them, roast them without pity and get them to confess to how – without me – they really did suck the big one.’

Harmon said that he got the idea from watching a documentary on the Moscow show trials of the Stalinist era. 

It was brutal and unfair, and many people lost their lives, but Lord was it funny. 

Joel McHale is rumored to be in for some pretty disgusting self-abasement, before he will be allowed to sign a fabricated confession and forced to dig his own grave. 

‘It’s going to be meta,’ laughed Harmon. ‘Because then we are going to actually kill him.’  

Harmon’s only regret is that it looks like Chevy Chase has escaped his clutches once more.

Community is due to return in the Fall.