THE HUNGER GAMES: CATCHING FIRE: ON SET REPORT

HOLLYWOOD – The Hunger Games: Catching Fire directed by Francis Lawrence and starring Jennifer Lawrence is one of the most eagerly awaited sequels of this year.

Due out this Fall, Studio Exec got exclusive access to the set when cameras started to roll. Based on Suzanne Collins’ best selling trilogy, filming began late last year and we caught up with the production in Hawaii where I greeted the director, ‘Hi Gary! Sorry Francis, Francis.’
‘Don’t sweat it,’ Francis said and slapped me on the back. ‘I get that all the time. It’s my own fault. I’m very superstitious and I’m proud of what Gary did with the first film. So I decided I’d wear his clothes as a good luck thing. I even had plastic surgery to make me look a bit more like him. What do you think?’
‘You look great,’ I told him.
During a breaking from filming the Arena fight scene, Jennifer Lawrence is relaxing, listening to her iPod but she smiles when she sees me and manages to walk all the way across to where I am without once falling over or any of her clothes falling off. She explains the plot quickly to me.

The Hunger Games are over for the year and Catnip Evergreen – that’s me – and Peet Malarkey, Josh’s character, we go on a victory tour of Pamdiddley and sense that there is rebellion brewing in the Snicks, especially in the district I’m from, District 12. The Quack is declared by President Snow and Catnip and Malarkey with help from Haymitch AbernathyBeetee and Plutarch Heavensbee… What?

I’m sorry but you’re just making this stuff up. Those aren’t the real names.

Yes, they are. Stanley Tucci returns as Ceasar Flickerman … What?

No sorry. Go on. 

Look, this is an important piece of young adult literature and we’re telling a tale that is a political allegory, as well as the story of a young woman coming into her own. 

Catnip Evergreen.

That’s right. I’ve just won a Goddam Oscar.

The rest of the interview was largely unusable but during the shooting of the subsequent scene Ms. Lawrence revealed her emotional state by breaking the jaw of a stunt double with a well timed head butt.

Hunger Games: Catching Fire  is out in November, 2013.

STALLONE MAKES BOXING MOVIE AS AN EXCUSE TO BEAT UP ROBERT DENIRO

HOLLYWOOD – Sylvester Stallone‘s Grudge Match has almost finished filming with Robert DeNiro. The film involves a pair of old boxing rivals who step back into the ring to settle once and for all who made the best Vietnam movie.

Alan Arkin plays the aging coach, rescued from a nursing home (along with the rest of the cast), to prepare Stallone for a final epic bout.
Sources close to Mr. Stallone said:

Sly feels very under-appreciated by the critical community. People love The Deer Hunter and put it above Rambo 2, likewise they always give the critical plaudits to Raging Bull and not Rocky. He is seething inside. Expendables was actually an attempt to remake Ronin. Sly hates DeNiro’s guts and my fear is that there are going to be some real punches thrown in the ring.   

Bobby DeNiro however pooh-poohed such talk as malicious gossip. ‘I’ve always been a great fan of Sylvester Stallone and we’re great buddies,’ said The Godfather Part Two star. ‘Stop or My Mom Will Shoot is what inspired me to become an actor in the first place.’
‘But you were already an actor when that came out.’
‘Yeah, well, what I mean is it would’ve. You know.’

Grudge Match is released in 2014.

JOURNEY TO THE CENTER OF JACK BLACK ANNOUNCED

HOLLYWOOD – The third installment in the surprisingly popular action adventure Journey franchise was announced this morning by Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson and Jack Black.

Entitled Journey to the Center of Jack Black, the film has a script by Charlie Kaufman and will be directed by Spike Jonez, who agreed to the project after Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson dangled him from the top level of a multilevel car park. 

Journey to the Center of the Earth and Journey 2: The Mysterious Island were both huge successes for Disney and they’ll be hoping to be having money baths after this outing.  

Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson commented:

The concept is fairly simple. Jack Black is really upset because although he’s a funny guy, he hasn’t made a funny film for like centuries. So we get in a special boat which is shrunk and we have to go into Jack Black and find out why he ain’t funny no more.  

How come Jack Black agreed to this? I mean there’s a disconcerting honesty to the idea. 

General anesthetic. He won’t know about this until he sees his face on the poster. 

Journey to the Center of Jack Black will be released tomorrow at 6pm EST.

 

TARANTINO DELIVERS MAHATMA GANDHI, KILL KILL KILL!!!

HOLLYWOOD – Quentin Tarantino promised late last year that he would be completing a trilogy of period films – which began with Inglourious Basterds and Django Unchained – with a new entry and now he has come good on that promise, delivering to the Weinstien company a script that is a radical re-imagining of Sir Richard Attenborough’s 1982 Oscar winner Gandhi provisionally entitled Mahatma Gandhi Kill Kill Kill!!!

The script – which leaked onto the internet within seconds of its completion – sees the bald Indian pacifist confronting the British Imperial authorities with nothing but indomitable will, gentle wisdom and a Gatling gun he drags around in a coffin.

Tarantino spoke to Studio Exec exclusively:

The original film is okay, but it’s the kind of prestigious epic that feels a need to always protect the audience from hard truths. So there’s hardly any violence in it at all. I see Gandhi standing up to the authorities with this kind of quiet dignity and taking all these blows and what not, and I’m just thinking, I bet you could kick their asses. I’d like to see that. 

But isn’t that historically inacc…

Ha hahahhahahahhahahahahahahaha. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha hah ha ha ha ha. HA HA HA. Ha. (Sighs) Next question.

 What story…?

Good question. At the beginning, we find Gandhi in South Africa where he’s almost beaten to death by Daniel Day-Lewis, but when a killer called the clergy man Christoph Waltz rescues him they both go on a rampage, destroying Apartheid. That done they head over to India and wreak bloody havoc there as well. Kick British asses and create a country before a Wild Bunch like finale. You see the thing is the Attenborough film was like PASSIVE resistance, and I’m more passive RESISTANCE. You dig? 

Mahatma Gandhi Kill Kill Kill!!!! is due to start filming in the Summer.