AFTER BREXIT CHILDREN OF MEN RECLASSIFIED AS DOCUMENTARY

LONDON – Following the shock result of the UK referendum to leave the European Union, the dystopian satire Children of Men has been reclassified as a documentary.

The British Film Institute has reclassified Alfonso Cuaron’s 2006 dystopian satire Children of Men following the Brexit result of the UK referendum on the European Union. A spokesperson for the BFI said:

The thing is we originally thought that the racism and hatred towards immigrants shown in Cuaron’s film was over the top, but actually we see that it is the driving thought of most little Englanders, of who there are much more than we realized.

But why is the BFI making such a political stance?

Well, did you like An Education? Or Hunger? Or Macbeth, Nanny McPhee, Amy, or Tinker Tailor, Soldier ,Spy? Or Game of Thrones? Or Under the Skin, or Pride, or Berbarian Sound Studio?

I didn’t like Nanny McPhee.

But did you like The Lobster, fish Tank, Belle? Shaun the Sheep?

Yes.

Then those were all made with vital help from the EU Media fund which paid the UK over 130 million pounds over the last decade. That won’t be there anymore.

Oh.

Exactly.

Children of Men star Clive Owen.

TALES OF THE GOLDEN MONKEY REVIVED BY NETFLIX

HOLLYWOOD – Netflix revive 80s TV classic Tales of the Golden Monkey.

Cutter’s Goose flies again as classic TV show Tales of the Golden Monkey looks set to get the Netflix treatment. The Raiders of the Lost Ark inspired show featured Stephen Collins as Jake Cutter, an ace pilot who operates an air cargo delivery service based on the fictional South Seas island Bora Gora. He flies a red and white Grumman Goose called Cutter’s Goose. The new show will star Clive Owen as Jake and Jack Black as his best friend and mechanic Corky, ‘a good-hearted alcoholic with a memory hazy from heavy drinking’. His one-eyed dog Jack barks at appropriately comic moments.

Amy Adams is already on board to play US spy and heart throb Sarah Stickney White with Jeremy Irons playing Reverend Willie Tenboom, a phony man of the cloth who is actually a native spy. We spoke to Adam McKay, the showrunner of the series.

Affectionate Toadying

I’ve always loved the show since I was a kid growing up the 1980s. It was a great concept and had a lot of comedic and dramatic potential. It only ran for one season and it has to be one of the biggest disappointments of my life when it was cancelled. But the good news is that we have this framework all ready to go and a wealth of stories and directions to go in.  I mean there are lots of things to love about it. There’s the adventure. And there’s the romance. Obviously the alcoholic pal is hilarious and did we mention Jack the dog has an eye patch? Add to that there’s the word ‘monkey’ in the title. How could this go wrong?

The new show is only the first in a series of Netflix shows that are remaking ever more obscure TV from the 80s. Benedict Cumberbatch is already in preproduction for his Blake’s 7 series starring Tom Hardy. Though initially planned as a movie, ten episodes will now be made.

Tales of the Golden Monkey drops in 2019.

TOP 5 CLIVE OWEN FILMS

HOLLYWOOD – Clive Owen is famous the world over as an ‘actor’, but which of his twenty odd films are worth a watch.

Well, Studio Exec has gone to the trouble of watching them all and here is our list of the top 5 essential Clive Owen films. 

1. Children of Men: Alfonso Cuaron’s bleakly dystopian view of a childless world boasts a fine performance from a bedraggled, shopworn Clive Owen, who, as Theo, creates a dryly witty and likable hero.

2. Children of Men: Alfonso Cuaron’s bleakly dystopian view of a childless world boasts a fine performance from a bedraggled, shopworn Clive Owen, who, as Theo, creates a dryly witty and likable hero.

3. Children of Men: Alfonso Cuaron’s bleakly dystopian view of a childless world boasts a fine performance from a bedraggled, shopworn Clive Owen, who, as Theo, creates a dryly witty and likable hero.

4. Children of Men: Alfonso Cuaron’s bleakly dystopian view of a childless world boasts a fine performance from a bedraggled, shopworn Clive Owen, who, as Theo, creates a dryly witty and likable hero.

 5. Children of Men: Alfonso Cuaron’s bleakly dystopian view of a childless world boasts a fine performance from a bedraggled, shopworn Clive Owen, who, as Theo, creates a dryly witty and likable hero.

Children of Men is available.

NEW KING ARTHUR FILM TO BE TOLD FROM THE ROUND TABLE’S PERSPECTIVE

HOLLYWOOD – Guy Ritchie’s new King Arthur film – Knights of the Round Table: King Arthur – is to tell the entire story of King Arthur from the perspective of the round table around which the knights of the Round Table sit.

Knights of the Round Table: King Arthur is to take an original look at the tale of King Arthur, shot entirely from the perspective of the Round Table. Director Guy Ritchie popped into the Studio Exec bungalow to eat some ‘pie and peas’ and natter about his new project:

At first I was not interested in doing King Arthur again. It didn’t seem like yesterday that there was that God awful Clive Owen movie, purporting to tell the true story of King Arthur. But when I read Joby Harold’s script I was blown away. The whole story is told from the first person perspective of the Round Table. It was such an original idea, I began to toy with the idea of actually doing it. But one thing worried me.

What was that?

Casting, obviously. Who would I get to ‘voice’ the table? Of course this is a tale of Bronze age valor so I was guessing that the table would have been made of some heavy wood, oak most likely. It was then that I happened to play squash with Jude Law and it hit me: Jude would perfect at playing a large lump of wood.

How is the story going to work?

The table is magic, you see. It’s what binds the Knights together. It’s why they are there really and Arthur (Charlie Hunman) finds it so useful in counseling him, that he had a hinge put in the middle, so he can fold it and take it with him on his quest for the Holy Grail and some of the later battles.

That’s genius!

I know right. So we get the table’s view of all the action as it happens. And there’s some comedy when they’re feasting and spilling stuff on it. And there’s a quite hot scene when Lancelot and Guinevere get intimate on the woodwork. And of course the table is torn wherever to say anything or not.

Knights of the Round Table: King Arthur will be released in 2016.

LAST KNIGHTS: REVIEW

LAST KNIGHTS: REVIEW – Morgan Freeman and Clive Owen star in a load sword and shouting rubbish for money.

The times are dark and unspecific, Games of Throne-y but without dragons. The realm is an Empire stretching across national boundaries in a way that coincidentally reflects the multinational co-producers who came together to finance this film. The men are a band of amazingly cool at fighting knights who are also racially, ethnically and religiously diverse in a PC way to appeal to as many markets as possible as inoffensively as possible. The men are bound by a strict code of honor about killing lots of people in the most generic way possible.

Old Baron Bartokles (Morgan Freeman) is bored of good acting and so decides to ham it up and enjoy himself. He is a nobleman who in his autumn years has decided to disavow the hereditary principle, the idea of an aristocracy, corruption and all the things he’s been fine with for the previous years. Being a bit grumpy, he rubs the Emperor and his ministers the wrong way and soon finds himself on the sharp end of a beheading. His loyal servant Rickleshin (Clive Owen) and his unmerry men are scattered and apparently hopeless, but will they manage to get revenge, or will Rickleshin go back to his old bad drinking ways?

Yes, they’ll get revenge. Shit, I’ve said it. SPOILER! Oops, but believe me I’ve saved you two hours of your life. The dialogue seems to have been written for translation into another unearthly language, a kind of filmic Esperanto and it is spoken with the conviction of actors who look happy to be overdubbed. The action is okay, but has none of the kinetic madness of 13 Assassins, which is obviously an influence, and the story plods along in a caperish way, hitting fairly predictable beats and asking you to care for a bunch of characters who are little more than ciphers – young man, older man, etc. By far the best thing about the film is the title Last Knights, because it has a pun of the quality not seen since Cameron Diaz and Tom Cruise ruled the multiplex together.

For more Reviews CLICK HERE.

NOT MAKING FILMS: THE STEVEN SODERBERGH DIARIES 7

HOLLYWOOD – Being the Seventh installment of Not Making Films by Steven Soderbergh, we give an intimate window into the life of one of cinema’s most beguiling unemployed talents: Steven Soderbergh.

August, 2014.
I get together with Cinemax to talk about The Knick. It’s going to be ER meets the Boardwalk Empire, I tell them. They’re really pleased. They have some suggestions for casting but I tell them that I would really like Jan Michel Vincent and failing him, Clive Owen.

September, 2014.
Although I’m not making films any more and I’m really relieved to be back behind the camera making television in a cinematic way with Clive Owen among others. Jan Michel Vincent turned me down but Clive is okay. The trick to filming him is to get the hair right. As far as I’m concerned Clive Owen’s hair is the star and it just happens to have Clive Owen swinging beneath it.

October, 2014.

The television isn’t working at the moment. The color is ‘on the blink’, as Clive Owen might say. I was watching Raiders of the Lost Ark in black and white anyway and it occurred to me I should put some acid jazz under this and put it on the internet. I could give some guff like reason for it and see what everyone says. The Knick ceases to interest me. It kind of directs itself now. Raiders of the Lost Ark in black and white. Ha ha. I’ma genius.

November, 2014.

Thanksgiving with Ben and Matt. They’re such jokers those guys and boy can they drink beer. We’re always talking about how I don’t direct films anymore and I say to them, I really like the freedom I have and I’m really happy and I just leave it out there, but they just look at each other and smirk. I’m sure they’re desperate to get me back directing again. The silence whenever it comes up is eloquent.

December, 2014.

I don’t like biscuits anymore.

January, 2015.

I was watching 2001: a Space Odyssey the other day and I missed five minutes because I had to go to the toilet, and then I thought what if I edited 2001: a Space Odyssey? Do you think Kubrick would mind? Of course not, I said to myself. He’s dead. Next month, I’m doing Rocky IV with a new classical score and I’m going to do all the voices.

For more of Not Making Films: The Steven Soderbergh Diaries Click Here.

5 FACTS WE LEARNED ABOUT THE KNICK

HOLLYWOOD – Cinemax’s Steven Soderbergh-directed TV drama The Knick, stars Clive Owen as a surgeon working at the turn of the century in a New York hospital and pushing the boundaries of medicine while taking smack.

But what do we really know? We sent the Studio Exec FACT squad to get its hands dirty with the blood of pre-antibiotic sepsis gunk.

1. Steven Soderbergh is still directing films. Sure they’re films shown on HBO and Cinemax but they’re films.

2. Clive Owen.

3. All alcoholics walk around with a bottle in their hand. All prostitutes are genuinely drop dead gorgeous.

4. Race riots have an aphrodisiac-like effect. When in episode 7 a police man is stabbed by a black man and killed – ever on the pulse of current events. Oh wait…  – a race riot breaks out. Following the drama of the doctors and nurses rescuing their black patients, they unwind with cast wide nookie.

5. Electronic ambient music pre-dates both jazz and rock n’ roll. Cliff Martinez based his score on music from the archives of the American Musical History institute, which gathered street music from New York in the early 1900s. French pioneer Jean Michel Jarre would rediscover this music and make it the basis for a series of albums in the 1980s.

For more Movie FACTS CLICK HERE!

CLIVE OWEN ON: OBAMACARE

A new series features guest columnist Clive Owen, giving his unique view on the world of politics, sport and entertainment.

When I was a child, like many kids I needed a brace on my teeth, what you Americans call a retainer I think. I also needed glasses. And do you know how much my old mother had to shell out for this? Nothing. Not a bean. And look at my teeth. If my smile isn’t an argument for socialist medicine, I don’t know what is!
Of course things have changed in the UK. Now there are charges for lots of medical treatment, but universal health care is both cheap and uncontroversial. I have watched with bemusement the rage and controversy that President Obama’s health care reforms have provoked in the United States. 

I often say to Natalie Portman – my co-star in the film Closer – ‘You Americans are mad’, and she just smiles and shakes her head, sadly. 

When we were making King Arthur one of our stunt men fell and broke his arm. He was rushed to hospital and had the appropriate x-rays, his arm was put in a cast and he was sent home with a big box of pain killers. 
The bill: zero. 
The American director Anthony Fuqua – and try saying that after a couple of pints without being insulting – was so surprised he shit his pants, literally. Or do I mean symbolically? Or metaphorically? 
Well, he was surprised. 

So America, it’s not like I – star of Children of Men and Shoot Em Up – have all the answers, but I think you’ll agree, I do have some of them.

Next week, Clive Owen will be writing on ‘The Geo-Political Consequences of Putin’s policy for the Ukraine’.