SEAN PENN TO STAR IN AUF WIEDERSEHEN PET MOVIE

HOLLYWOOD – Oscar winner Sean Penn to star in Auf Wiedersehen Pet movie.

Cult British 80s TV show Auf Wiedersehen Pet is getting a Hollywood makeover via actor director Sean Penn. Penn has been working on the project for fifteen years. He talked EXCLUSIVELY to the Studio Exec about his work on the dream project:

I was working with Clint Eastwood on Mystic River and between takes I’d go into my trailer and watch stuff on tape and he came in and saw I was watching old episodes of Auf Wiedersehen Pet and was like ‘Wow! You like Auf Wiedersehen Pet too?’ And we really bonded. I mean, we’re quite different people but here was a language we could both respond to.

 

auf wiedersehen pet

 

The show follows a group of building workers who travel to then West Germany to work on a construction site. We asked Sean how he would change the setup.

I’m keeping it exactly as it is. Clint actually already had a script written and he wanted to play Bomber with Benicio del Toro as Barry. He thought I should play Oz. Now, that to me was like a dream come true. Jimmy Nail played Oz in the original series. He was the guy who really changed me. I went from being a guy who does movies into a serious movie actor. But in the end we all had other commitments so it was put off and now Clint thinks he’s too old to play Bomber. So we’ve got Dwayne the Rock Johnson. Michael Cera is playing Kevin, Ryan Gosling is on for Wayne. Quentin Tarantino is coming in to play Dennis, the leader of the group.

Tarantino likes the show too?

He’s actually written a book about it. It’s amazing. We all loved having him around when we were rehearsing because he knew the lore. I’m just lucky he didn’t take it away from me. But he is keen on doing his Geordie accent.

Is it as good as his Australian one?

Man, that’s a high bar. I’m not sure. Maybe. He disappears into the character. It’s so much fun watching him work and directing him of course.

Auf Wiedersehen Pet is coming soon.

LEN WISEMAN TO DIRECT WHERE EAGLES DARE REMAKE

 HOLLYWOOD – Shia LaBeouf and Jude Law are set to star in a Len Wiseman remake of the Second World War classic Where Eagles Dare, set to start filming in April 2019.

The action-packed snow-bound reboot will see Shia LaBeouf take the role Shaffer played by Clint Eastwood whereas Jude Law takes on the mantle of Richard Burton as Major Smith.
Len Wiseman ‘director’ says that the film will be an improvement on the original.

It’s like what we did with Clash of the Titans, which was basically a pile of embarrassing crud buckets. We always make a big show of loving the original and blah blah blah but we always and I mean ALWAYS think the original was a crock. Otherwise, why make a new one? Right?

Jude Law also took shots at the original: ‘The acting isn’t up to much. When you think about it, you have a great story and then who do you have as the main character Droney Dicky Burton. Even on a bad day I could shit Richard Burton. And Shia has already proved he’s a thousand times more charismatic than Eastwood.’

What do you think? Is everyone’s favorite Christmas war movie really a load of old piss flaps? Will Shia LaBeouf overtake Clint Eastwood as America’s most iconic leading man? Is Jude Law on drugs?

Where Eagles Dare will be released in 2020.

CLINT EASTWOOD SENT TO NEGOTIATE FOLLOWING SWEDEN INCIDENT

STOCKHOLM – Clint Eastwood travels to Sweden to help with aftermath of the Sweden incident.

Donald Trump has dispatched veteran actor Clint Eastwood to Sweden where he is to serve as a negotiator following the Sweden Incident. Despite attempts by the mainstream media to ignore the case, it emerged last night that a major incident occurred in Sweden after all the furniture in IKEA somehow achieved consciousness and was recruited by ISIS. Eastwood – the chair whisperer – has unique qualifications to talk the home furnishings back from the brink.

Haagan Daz the Swedish Prime Minister today issued a statement of appreciation to the US President:

This is the worst case of everything since the Bowling Green Massacre.

Clint Eastwood’s latest film American Diaper will be released in 2018.

SULLY PLAGIARIZES REAL LIFE

NEW YORK – Clint Eastwood’s new film Sully has been accused of ‘plagiarizing real life’, by Hollywood lawyer Tony Schaloub.

After landing a plane in New York’s Hudson River, Capt. Chesley “Sully” Sullenberger (Tom Hanks) faces an investigation into his actions and sees his life turned upside down. Oscar winning director Clint Eastwood is behind the camera but attorney at law Anothony (Tony) Schaloub is suing Warner Brothers and Malpaso for plagiarism. Schaloub told the Studio Exec:

This is ridiculous. As soon as I heard the story I knew it sounded familiar and then I pulled up the microfilm from the internet and sure enough there was a pilot called Capt. Chesley “Sully” Sullenberger and he did indeed save the lives of many people when he landed his plane in the Hudson River in New York. Tom Hanks even looks like the guy for crying out loud.

But Sully, the real Sully has totally authorized the film and they’ve bought the rights to his life before they even started filming.

Really?

Yes.

Oh that’s different then. That’s probably… they’re probably covered then.

Sully is in cinemas this week.

CLINT EASTWOOD ‘WAS A NAZI’

HOLLYWOOD – American Sniper director Clint Eastwood has been accused of being a Nazi after photographs of the young Clint dressed in a Wehrmacht uniform leaked onto the net.

The furor is only likely to add fuel to the fire of controversy currently raging around the octogenarian’s latest film and Oscar hopeful American Sniper which tells the story of a sniper who is American, but not Lee Harvey Oswald.

Documentarian and Fox News expert Michael Moore told the Studio Exec EXCLUSIVELY:

Clint’s films have often played with right wing ideology. Dirty Harry was called a fascist by Pauline Kael among others, and although the original film retained some ambiguity, the later manifestations were more straightforwardly right wing fantasies. Now what these photographs apparently show is Clint Eastwood dressed as a German soldier circa 1943. In other words at the height of the Nazi Reich’s power. And from this draw what you may.

However, supporters of the Every Which Way But Loose star said that the photographs actually come from a film called Where Eagles Dare, in which Clint ‘played’ a Nazi. Moore was having none of it.

That’s just hair-splitting. Whether he was a Nazi or he played a Nazi in a film the important thing surely is that the word Nazi and the words Clint Eastwood have appeared in a sentence together. And that has to be worth something. I mean, where there’s smoke, surely there has to be fire?

But surely lots of actors have played Nazis, Malcolm McDowell, Ralph Fiennes, Max Von Sydow, Tom Cruise and Christoph Waltz have all donned the uniform.

It only goes to show how bad the problem is.

Clint Eastwood has so far refused to comment, as he was busy working on his new film Triumph of the American Will. 

5 FACTS YOU NEVER KNEW ABOUT AMERICAN IDOL

HOLLYWOOD – As the talent show that changed popular culture, American Idol is coming to a close, but what do we really know about Simon Fuller’s monstrous creation?

We sent the Studio Exec FACT squad to sing their hearts out and break down and weep about overcoming personal issues just before Simon Cowell smashes them in the face with his trademark pantomime ire.

1. American Idol corrupted popular music, destroyed singing and turned everything into a tawdry tear drenched soap opera full of complete and utter bullshit.

2. Simon Cowell modelled his career on Herman Goebbels, whereas Paula Abdul preferred Eva Peron. Ryan Seacrest once touched a kitten inappropriately and Jennifer Lopez has one ear slightly higher than the other. The judges were originally intended to be similar to the Judges of Mega City One, the most famous of which was Judge Dredd, but the plan was dropped after terms could not be reached with Clint Eastwood. Simon Cowell spends many hours in his bedroom weeping inconsolably and no one – not even he – knows why.

3. All the winners have signed a contract in which they have to yearly give all their blood to a secret organisation which goes by the name of Nasterfarians. This blood is used in ceremonies or as a condiment. The United Kingdom Prime Minister David Cameron is the current Grand Wizard of the Nasterfarians. As a registered charity, it pays no taxes.

4. Anyone who fails to make it to the next round is taken to a large empty space behind the studio where they are shot and their bodies left in a large – and as time goes on – increasingly smelly pile.

5. The winner of the final season will automatically qualify to sit on the Supreme Court following a historic deal between the Democrats and the GOP.

For more FACTS click HERE.

SIR EDWIN FLUFFER REMEMBERS CLINT EASTWOOD

HOLLYWOOD – Sir Edwin Fluffer once again delves into his personal memoirs – soon to be published as ‘Not THAT Kind of Fluffer!!!’ – to recall Clint Eastwood.

Over the years I’ve come to regard young Clint Eastwood as the son I never had. He reminds me so much of my own children when they were growing up: ‘shut up, stop telling me what to do, you’re not my real Dad!’ He even forgets my birthday! 
But despite all of that I’m as proud as punch of young Clint. 

I first met him more moons ago than I care to remember when I was a guest star on his smash hit TV series Rawhide. Gabby Hayes had dropped out at the last minute because he’d recently bought a new couch and had to wait in for it to be delivered so I filled in as the grizzled prospector. 

Myself and Clint (right)
It all went very well apart from one regrettable incident when I set fire to Clint’s poncho, and from that day to this the bond between us has never been broken. Occasionally the fates have conspired against us, like when Lee Marvin replaced me in Paint Your Wagonbecause I got the hiccups trying to sing Wandrin’ Star, but the good times have more than made up for the bad. The picture that most people remember our inimitable double act for was Every Which Way But Loose. I starred as Clint’s comedy sidekick Clyde, and it was actually my idea to wear the gorilla suit. 
There was one scene I just couldn’t get right, and after accidentally pouring petrol over Sondra Locke for the seventeenth time Clint yelled ‘for Christ’s sake Edwin, it’d be easier to use a trained monkey!’ Well! We just fell about laughing. 
When I rang him to say that I was unavailable for the sequel because Ernest Borgnine was taking me go-karting, Clint said that was alright because they’d actually decided to use a trained monkey anyway. 
I thought he was very good, but apparently the monkey fell out with Geoffrey Lewis after getting caught cheating at Monopoly. 
But that’s another story…

For more of Sir Edwin FLUFFER, be a peach and Click Here.

AMERICAN SNIPER BABY STARS IN PARANORMAL ACTIVITY: THE GHOST DIMENSION

HOLLYWOOD – American Sniper baby Jandapus Haiti is the breakout star of Paranormal Activity: The Ghost Dimension.

Despite the fact Bradley Cooper picked up the Oscar nomination for his role as real life Navy Seal Chris Kyle, many agree that the true star of Clint Eastwood’s Iraq War drama American Sniper was actually Jandapus Haiti, the baby who stole America’s hearts and is now starring in the next installment of Paranormal Activity.

Jandapus Haiti only got the role in American Sniper at the last minute when the baby booked for the role got scarlet fever and had to go to hospital. Jandapus was luckily at hand taking part in a local voodoo ceremony – some say black magic but the difference is superficial – and was rushed to the set and into the waiting hands of Bradley Cooper, best known as Face from The A-Team.

Cooper described the scene to the Studio Exec EXCLUSIVELY:

At first it freaked me out. Jandapus looks and feels like a fake baby, but he’s actually got that Benjamin Button thing, so he’s not only real, but really, in terms of lived experience, a very old man. He talks and everything. Sounds a bit like Tom Waits. He told some stories about when he was in Chile at the time of the Pinochet Coup… Man he did things, he did bad things. But you know, I’ve worked with Jennifer Lawrence on a number of occasions so I was ready for anything.

Details are sketchy about the nature of his role in Paranormal Activity: The Ghost Dimension, but Jandapus said he was ‘looking forward to getting myself out there’:

When you look the way I look you’re going to get typecast. The American Sniper thing was a fluke. Usually I’m demon baby, or possessed child, or something more along those lines. Paranormal Activity will be a return to my typical genre but it is a much bigger stage now. I mean the things I did before were like private parties and such.

What do you knows about the story of Paranormal Activity: The Ghost Dimension?

To begin with the title was going to be Paranormal Activity: the Infancy, which perhaps also highlights what a central role my character plays, but then they changed it to the Ghost Dimension. I’ll be Gary, the youngest member of the Hunter family. Things are going all right, but apparently there’s a demon in the house and gets who gets possessed? You got it. The good thing is as I need to do a possessed demon voice, it gives me an excuse to start smoking cigarettes again. I’ve been restricting myself to cigars lately.

Paranormal Activity: The Ghost Dimension is currently in theaters.

HIDDEN GEMS: 14. THE SEARCHERS

Hidden Gems brings to light little known film gems which have somehow slipped through the collective cinematic consciousness. This week, The Searchers. You’re welcome.

If you think about cowboys the chances are you think about Clint Eastwood, or Kevin Costner, or maybe even Clint Eastwood. But before Eastwood donned a poncho there was another cowboy called John Wayne!

Never heard of him? I’m not surprised all his films but one were destroyed in a fire but fortunately the surviving film The Searchers is one of his best. Directed by little known Irish American car maker John Ford, The Searchers is an intense revenge drama which accurately portrays the Old West when the evil dark skinned savages all but exterminated the poor white settlers…. wait, but… never mind.

Ethan Edwards (Wayne) comes home from the wars to his brother’s homestead in Monument Valley, but a party of Indians destroys the house, murders his brother and his wife and kidnap the children  with them. With a posse of locals, Ethan goes after the war party, but the search proves long and he is left with Marty (Jeffrey Hunter – the first Captain of the Enterprise), an eighth part Cherokee and the vague hope of racial inclusive to set against Ethan’s seething hatred.

The magnificent scenery is set against the equally beautiful studio shots. The relentless mission of revenge and the way it consumes if not completely destroys lives is set against an almost Shakespearean world, a rich texture of domestic life going on, struggling but just about making it. A life from which Ethan will always be shut out.

For more Hidden Gems CLICK HERE.

6 FACTS YOU NEVER KNEW ABOUT SPAGHETTI WESTERNS

HOLLYWOOD – With the release of Quentin Tarantino’s new movie “The Hateful Eight” many pig ignorant film-goers are going ‘Spaghetti Westerns? What? How? Why and Where?’

Stop, shut up, sit down and let Studio Exec blow knowledge holes in your poncho of stupid with our six fact shooter. 

The Six Shooter of Fact

1. Although called ‘Spaghetti Westerns’ no one actually eats spaghetti. They eat beans.

2. In order to make his films more commercially attractive to US audiences, Sergio Leone anglicized the Italian names of cast and crew: Leone himself became Bob Robertson, Gian Maria Volantè became John Wells, and Neapolitan unknown Diego Cazzituoi became Clint Eastwood.

3. All the gunshots you hear in the Spaghetti Westerns directed by Sergio Corbucci were created by Ennio Morricone the films’ composer who had the knack of imitating realistic gunfire, with his mouth. ‘I learnt it in the school yard, little did I know…p-choooooo,’ said the maestro.

4. Although Quentin Tarantino claims to be an expert on Spaghetti Westerns, he’s never actually seen one. He’s heard about them from a really cool friend and he thought they sounded ‘cool’. When asked whether he’ll try and watch one now, he said he ‘couldn’t be bothered’.

5. Although many people mistakenly believe that the first Spaghetti Western was Sergio Leone’s Fistful of Dollars in 1964, it was not. The first Spaghetti Western was made in 1961 in Japan by Akira Kurosawa and was called Yojimbo.

6. The trademark whistling heard on the soundtracks of all the Spaghetti Westerns was done by unemployed American actor Charles Bronson who later appeared in Once Upon a Time in the West where ironically he didn’t whistle, but played the harmonica. ‘He was a very good whistler,’ laughed Leone. ‘But a shit!’

For more FACTS on everything from this to that click HERE! 

WAS PETER SELLERS ALSO A NAZI?

HOLLYWOOD – Following the unveiling of Charlie Chaplin as a Nazi, the Studio Exec has discovered that British comic actor Peter Sellers was also possibly a member of a far right group as can clearly be seen from this photograph taken in 1969.

Peter Sellers was already famous for his portrayal of Inspector Clouseau in The Pink Panther and A Shot in the Dark when he was apparently seduced by the tenets of National Socialism, probably by old Goons colleague Spike Milligan. Stanley Kubrick, who worked with Peter Sellers on the film A Clockwork Orange in which Sellers played a number of parts, said of Sellers:

Peter is a wonderful actor, capable of comedy and drama and anything. And as a human being, he is a very interesting man, and apparently Aryan. Or at least that’s what he keeps saying.

How many secret Nazis are hiding, or have hidden, in Hollywood?

Here is a short list:

Charlie Chaplin

Clint Eastwood

Peter Sellers

Gregory Peck

Ian McKellen

Malcolm McDowell

Bruno Ganz

DEADPOOL REMAKE WON’T FEATURE CLINT EASTWOOD CAMEO

HOLLYWOOD – Clint Eastwood today denied that he will be taking part in the remake of his 1988 film The Dead Pool, which has been re-titled Deadpool.

The news comes amidst months of online speculation that the veteran actor would make a sizable cameo in the new Deadpool, which stars Ryan Reynolds in the role of Inspector ‘Dirty’ Harry Callahan.

The 85 year old actor told the Studio Exec EXCLUSIVELY:

I didn’t even know they were remaking that film. Deadpool you say? Strange. Of all the Dirty Harry films, that’s probably the weakest. I thought they would have been better off remaking the first Dirty Harry, or perhaps Magnum Force. What with all the police shootings and everything Magnum Force would be topical.

The original The Dead Pool featured Eastwood as Callahan and Inspector Quan investigating a series of murders based on horror director Liam Neeson’s Dead Pool, a betting list of who is going to die next. One of the victims includes a first big screen outing for ‘comedian’ Jim Carrey.

We spoke with star of the new film Ryan Reynolds about taking on one of the most iconic roles in American cinema.

I’m very happy to be a part of this. Deadpool is a great character and a real departure from the kind of comic book movie we’ve been seeing recently.

Will you be saying any of Callahan’s most famous lines? 

I’m sorry, Callahan? I don’t understand.

You know ‘Go ahead punk, make my day’ or ‘Do you feel lucky punk? Do you?’

Oh wait are you talking about Dirty Harry? No that’s totally different. I’m playing a Marvel comic book hero called Deadpool. It’s nothing to do with the 1988 Dirty Harry movie, the fifth installment I believe in the film series.

Will you be remaking other Dirty Harry movies in the near future?

No but it isn’t Dirty Harry. It’s a … Okay, yeah. We’re remaking Sudden Impact next.

Excellent. 

But we’re calling it Suddenimpact.

Deadpool will be released in 2016.

THE MAKING OF THE GOOD, THE BAD AND THE UGLY

HOLLYWOOD – In our new series ‘The Making of…’ we go behind the scenes, using previously unseen letters, diaries and documents, of a major motion picture landmark of cinema. This week The Good, The Bad and The Ugly.

The Idea

Sergio Leone had always wanted to make a film about a treasure hunt. Growing up in Mussolini’s Italy, treasure hunts were actually banned by the Black Shirts, as were blue shirts, yellow shirts and salmon pink trousers. So following the success of his first two ‘Dollar’ films, Leone brushed off an old idea he had been toying with for years. Three rogues during the American Civil War  all go in search of an evasive wagon of gold. He provisionally entitled it Il Magro, Il Grasso, Il Marito, which translates as The Thin, the Fat and the Husband. He wrote to Dario Argento, a young film critic at the time and wannabe film director, and explained his idea:

The idea of my western is the purest concept I have come up with, now that I’ve run out of Akira Kurosawa films to copy. I’ve based it on an old Italian folktale my grandmother used to tell me. The thin man is always alert and wily, but the fat man is more charming and gregarious and everyone helps him, but the married man is the best because wherever he goes his wife follows him shrieking loudly. It is going to be very funny. Claudia Cardinale will play the wife I’m sure. Or Sophia Loren!

Casting

Despite his initial wish for Claudia Cardinale to play the married man’s wife, the role proved so difficult to to cast that the script was changed and the film retitled Il Magro, Il Grasso, Il Scapolo: The Thin, The Fat and the Bachelor. Thoughts turned to Clint Eastwood who – although his relationship with the Italian director was difficult – was still keen to make one last contracted film. Leone wrote to his American star:

Clint, I have a lovely role for you. It is perfect. You will get to wear that hat you like. You know the cowboy one! Yes, I knew that would bring a cheeky smile to that cheeky face. The role is Il Grasso, he is a gunfighter, but his real love is blueberry pies. Oh, he eats so many. The audience will see a whole new side to you, but listen you must put on some weight. I would say quite a few kilo. Fifty at least.

Clint responded cautiously:

Dear Sergio,

I read the script and it is a good one. I’m just not sure about my character. May I suggest that instead of being fat he is relatively slender. And instead of being garrulous, he is a man of few words. And instead of eating pies, he squints and shoots people. remember when you wanted me to wear that frogman’s suit in Fistful of Dollars, you remember telling me ‘A Poncho!? That’s ridiculous!’ but who was right in the end. Trust me on this.

Production

Now called Il Magro, Il Buono, Il Brutto (The Thin, The Good and The Ugly), the filmmakers moved to Franco’s Spain which would stand in for the US West. Eli Wallach, who had never worked with Leone before, was cast as The Magro. He wrote home to his mother:

Spain is nice. Hot as you’d expect this time of year. Clint is very quiet. A fitness nut, but you know. Nice. The film looks like being a bit of disaster. I’m clowning around as best I can but frankly I don’t understand the script, I don’t understand the direction, the story. Lee Van Cleef is here playing the Thin. I swear to God it’s a stupid film. Yesterday, Sergio made us stand around in a cemetery all day while he filmed our fingers and then the bridges of our noses! Europeans!

Post-Production

With the film complete all that remained was to add the score and overdub the dialogue. Clint told Roger Ebert in his documentary Clint and Sergio:

Sergio didn’t speak English and I spoke no Italian. And the script was often a mess. We knew roughly the scenes, but he didn’t have the dialogue properly translated or translated so badly that it was meaningless. So Sergio would just get us to count up to a number out loud. You count to 7 Clint, now Lee you count to 5, now Clint to 3 and so on. Then we’d overdub with actual words.

Ennio Morricone had completed the score early but the last touches were required the iconic ‘AIIIIAIAIA’ that would begin the score and the film. This was provided accidentally by the Maestro himself when he closed the piano lid on his own fingers. The sound of his shriek of pain had been inadvertently recorded and by looping it and manipulating it electronically Morricone added a strange and comic vibe to the film.

The Good, The Bad and The Ugly was released in 1966.

for more of The Making of CLICK HERE.

5 FACTS YOU NEVER KNEW ABOUT CANNES

CANNES – The Cannes Film Festival runs from 13th of May until the 24th of May in the beautiful seaside town of Cannes, but what do we really know about it?

We sent The Studio Exec FACT squad to the Croissette to find out.

1. The Cannes-Cannes dance originated at the Cannes Film Festival. It was invented by Francious Truffaut as an expression of joy when his debut film Les Quatre Cents Coups (400 Blows) won the best director award in 1959. It then became customary for ever winner to do the dance before their acceptance speech. The practice was eventually banned in 1991 after the Coen Brothers used their celebratory dance – on winning a rare sweep of the major awards for Barton Fink – to kick their arch rivals the Baldwin brothers in their faces.

2. Lars Von Trier was declared Persona Non Grata by the Cannes Film Festival following his Nazi-y remarks at the press conference for Melancholia. Cannes authorities were particularly upset because noted Jew Mel Gibson was also at the festival starring in Jodie Foster’s porn film The Beaver.

3. Clint Eastwood was the President of one of the most lively juries in Cannes history. The arguments between the jurists led in some instances to punch ups and in others to marriage. In the end the Jury awarded the Palme d’Or to Pulp Fiction. Eastwood justified his choice by saying ‘Although I didn’t care for the picture’s violence and profane dialogue, the furniture was really sexy!’

4. The red carpet down which the stars and directors walk before every major premiere is dyed red from the blood of last year’s losers, each of whom have to donate three pints of blood before they are allowed to leave the Cote d’Azure.

5. The Cannes Film Festival is divided into several different sections. There’s the main competition, then Un Certain Regard sidebar, The Director’s Fortnight and the Dardennes Brothers section, which is devoted to the films of the Dardennes Brothers.

For more FACTS click HERE.