AMA RECOGNISE WILL FERRELL SYNDROME

CHICAGO – Will Ferrell Syndrome has been recognised as an actual medical condition.

Dr. Roberto Coteeze of the American Medical Association declared today the Will Ferrell Syndrome would be classified as a recognized medical condition although the ‘pathology has not yet been fully defined.’

Will Ferrell Syndrome is a condition which seems to only affect very funny men who have made a promising start to their television careers (usually on Saturday Night Live) before moving onto Hollywood and five picture deals. In some cases, the progress of the syndrome is relatively slow, especially if actors confine themselves to character parts, but once they approach ‘family entertainment’ or ‘gross-out comedy’ they are doomed never to be funny again.

Will Ferrell – after whom the syndrome is named (Stiller Disease being an earlier option) – is a prime example. ‘He was great in Zoolander,’ says Dr. Coteeze, ‘but then came Land of the Lost and that was as funny as a teenager’s funeral.’

admitted to hospital

Other sufferers include Jack Black, Ben Stiller, Eddie Murphy, Chris Rock, Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson. Vigils are currently being held for Zach Galifianakis in hope that he too won’t succumb.

Flowers have been laid, songs sung.

JAMES FRANCO AND ANNE HATHAWAY ARRESTED

HOLLYWOOD – James Franco and Anne Hathaway have been arrested today under a charge of attempted abduction.

The two Hollywood actors James Franco and Anne Hathaway have been arrested and charged with attempted kidnapped, after they were discovered early this morning hiding outside Chris Rock’s house with rope, duct tape and a large Persian carpet. Suspicion was raised when an off duty police officer observed the Les Miserables star and her Spider-man 3 accomplice crouching in the bushes outside the grounds of Chris Rock’s house in the Hollywood hills. The pair were apprehended and a back up car was called.

Officer Dibble of the LAPD told the Studio Exec EXCLUSIVELY:

I could hear Anne Hathaway singing under her breath as the two were apparently waiting for the lights to go out in the house. She was singing something about there was a time when men were kind, their voices soft their words inviting.

What was Franco doing? 

He was smoking something that later found out was for his glaucoma.

The two actors shot to fame in 2011 when together they hosted the Academy Awards, alternatively known as the Oscars. Mr. Rock is due to host the ceremony himself and has been apprised of the attempt, but it is unclear as to whether or not he will press charges. The police say they are baffled as to the motive as both Hathaway and Franco are rightly regarded as the best Oscar hosts ever.

The Academy Awards will be broadcast on the 28th of February.

KANYE WEST TO HOST OSCARS

HOLLYWOOD – Kanye West is to take over from Chris Rock and host the 88th Academy Awards, AKA The Oscars on the 28th of February.

Kanye West announced that he would be replacing Chris Rock as the Oscars host last night. He told the Studio Exec EXCLUSIVELY that his decision to step in came as a response to the Oscars So White controversy.

There comes a time in a man’s life that he cannot just stand by on the other side of the street. When you see oppression, when you see a brother or sister beaten by the cops, when you see hunger and deprivation, when you see Taylor Swift pick up a VMA, you just gotta step in, or be less than what you think you are.

So the Academy hired you as a way of…

The Academy didn’t hire me. They wouldn’t hire someone like me. I’m a maverick, a visionary and potentially a Presidential candidate, but first I want to see how Donald does. Heh heh. Donald does? Sounds a bit like Donald Duck, don’t it?

And why did Chris Rock decide to step down? He looked like he was nailed on to host.

Will you get the story straight SE? Chris Rock hasn’t stepped down and likely won’t. I, Kanye West, father of the compass children, husband of the Kardashian who could, rapper of every album getting progressively crapper, am stepping up. I’m going to get on the stage of the Dolby and grab that microphone. Best Actress: Beyonce! Best Actor: Kanye West. Best Director: Spike Lee! Best Picture: Runaway.

Those aren’t the nominees.

Do I look like I give a God Damn? You don’t nominate Kanye, Kanye nominates you! Hashtag gonna be Oscars So Kanye!

The Academy Awards will be held at the Dolby Theater on 28th of February, 2016. Image by @SoundIsStyle.

HATEFUL EIGHT DISQUALIFIED FROM OSCARS

HOLLYWOOD – In a shock move the Quentin Tarantino movie The Hateful Eight has had its Oscar nominations revoked and the film has been disqualified from the Oscars completely.

The Hateful Eight was nominated for Best Supporting Actress Jennifer Jason Leigh, cinematography and score for Ennio Morricone. However, all these nominations have been rescinded. An Academy spokesperson gave the Studio Exec the rationale for this unprecedented move:

We hadn’t seen the full film and when we did we realized that the actor Samuel L. Jackson has quite a prominent role in the film. And well… this is embarrassing, but you see, he’s a little bit black.

A little bit…

Well, actually, he’s very black. And I’m not sure if you’ve noticed but here at the Academy we’ve been trying to make things easier, streamline the whole process and just have people who are white get the awards and stuff.

But Samuel L. Jackson isn’t even nominated.

Yes, but what if Jennifer Jason Leigh invites him along?

But you have a black host.

What?

Chris Rock is black. 

No, he isn’t. I mean I saw him in Madagascar. He’s black and white.

But that was an animated movie. He’s not actually a zebra.

Are you serious?

Oh, come on.

No, wait this will work. We have Chris Rock, who is apparently black, hosting and then everyone else white, that’s great because then no one can accuse us of racism! Problem solved. And no angry Samuel L. Jackson telling us horrid stories about forcing someone’s son to do unspeakables on his unmentionables.

For more Oscar news CLICK HERE.

ORLANDO BLOOM TO STAR IN THE WIRE MOVIE

HOLLYWOOD – Following botched attempts by Jason Segel and Harmony Korine to turn the famed HBO show into a movie, The Wire is finally coming to the big screen, now directed by Cameron Crowe and starring Orlando Bloom.

The We Bought a Zoo director spoke exclusively to Studio Exec about the project:

I’m a huge fan of the show, I mean who isn’t, and I knew that David [Simon] had written a script and was looking for someone to take it on. At first he was worried about my approach but I told him that I would honor his work and the city and people of Baltimore and the many social issues which his work touches on. Then I rewrote the script.

What changes did you make?

Everyone knows The Wire can be a little depressing and I don’t mind a little bit of depressing as long as there’s a resolution and a shot of everyone hugging in the rain. Oh and gentle humor. Oh and we changed the setting from Baltimore.

 To?

Paris, France.

Uhm…

McNulty, played by Orlando Bloom, has fallen in love with fellow police officer Kima Greggs, played by Zoe Saldana.

But isn’t she a lesbian?

They fall in love during an undercover operation.’You had me at crack.’ Beautiful line. And they’re married now and on their honeymoon in Paris. Where they meet Bubbles (Chris Rock) who has cleaned up, straightened out and is working for the American government as a spy. A drug deal – a French connection if you will…

 I won’t. 

…is going down and Bubbles, Kima and McNulty must stop while at the same time rescuing Bunk (Tracy Morgan) who has been kidnapped by Le Boss (Mathieu Amalric).

The Wire will be released in 2015.