RON HOWARD CALLED IN TO DIRECT THE LAST JEDI

HOLLYWOOD – Ron Howard replaces Rian Johnson on Star Wars Episode 8 The Last Jedi.

Han Solo director Ron Howard has taken over from Rian Johnson as the director of the eighth instalment of the Star Wars series, The Last Jedi. The decision came down late last night and hit the internets early this morning. Howard spoke to the Studio Exec immediately:

I was talking with Kathleen about the process and how Rian was doing. They were really happy and everything seemed honky tonky, but I could tell they were nervous. So I said why don’t I take over. They tried to hide their delight. They told me the film was practically finished and there was just the soundtrack and the titles to add, but I knew what they meant. So late last night I snuck into the editing booth and changed the card to ‘Directed by Ron Howard’. I know they’ll be over the moon.

Howard already took over from Chris Miller and Philip Lord – the Lego Movie and Jump Street 22 directors – to complete the Han Solo project. He is also talking about taking over Blade Runner 2049 as well as releasing a Director’s Cut of Christopher Nolan’s Dunkirk.

‘I’m going to change the music and add my name at the end,’ he told the Exec. ‘I didn’t realize that it could be so easy. But now I don’t know if I’ll ever bother to do a whole film again.’

Rian Johnson, however, insists that he’s still the film’s director.

We did find Howard’s name at the end of a rough cut and he occasionally sneaked onto the set and shouted ‘Action!’ or ‘Cut!’ I thought it was just a joke.

Star Wars: The Last Jedi will be released in December, 2017

HAN SOLO EMAILS LEAKED ON-LINE

HOLLYWOOD – A slew of emails from the troubled production of stand alone Star Wars film Han Solo have appeared on the internet.

Emails between Lawrence Kasdan and Kathleen Kennedy and Phil Lord and Chris Miller have leaked online. Here are some selected moments of what proved to be a troubled production.

Hi Fellas!

How is everything going with the shoot? 

……………………………………………………..

Hi Kathleen, Hi Lawrence,

Everything is AWESOME.

……………………………………………………..

Hi Boys!

Just some notes on the rushes from the shoot so far. Me and Lawrence got to see them and we want to say on the whole it looks like you’re doing a great job. We do have one or two concerns. I’ve listed them below. 

First off: Do we need the songs? I’m asking myself. 

Secondly: Alden Ehrenreich’s performance is a bit LEGO-y. Is that a fake head?

Then: Having Lando and Han take a psychotropic drug during which Lando gets the idea for Cloud City isn’t consistent with how that happens in the canon. 

Finally: Can we also not have Chewbacca be quite so stoned quite so often? 

……………………………………………………..

Hi Kathleen, Hi Lawrence,

Everything is great (when you’re part of a team)

……………………………………………………..

Yeah about that. We’re thinking that Alden might need some help with his performance. Tell him not to worry about it. We just want someone onset who will contradict everything you tell him.

……………………………………………………..

Hi Kathleen, HI Lawrence,

We’re getting vibes from you guys that the weather isn’t exactly peachy. It feels Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs, if we’re to be honest!

……………………………………………………..

Yeah, Fellas!

Enough of the referencing your films in ever single email. You remember when we said we wanted your individual vision and how important it was to us to hear your voices in the movie? Remember how we said we wanted to give you total creative freedom? Well, that was all bullshit. Turns out what we really want you to do is stick to the script and quit with the postmodernism. As in pronto!

Han Solo will be released in 2018.

HENRY WINKLER REPLACES ALDEN EHRENREICH AS HAN SOLO

HOLLYWOOD – Ron Howard’s new Han Solo movie got its first shot today and revealed a new star.

Speculation was rife today about how Ron Howard would change the direction of the stand alone Star Wars movie: Han Solo. Well, following the release of the first image, it looks as if his take is going to be radically different from the rest of the franchise. A digitally de-aged Henry Winkler takes over from Alden Ehrenreich in the starring role. Ron Howard spoke to the Studio Exec about the new film:

Set on the planet of Milwaukee, a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, our film starts with the Cunninghams, a race of sedate play it safe aliens who rent out their attic to Han Solo, a young pilot, smuggler and all round cool guy, but things begin to go wrong. First of all the Cunninghams said no pets, but Solo has brought Chewbacca. Then Potzie and Ralph need advice about meeting girls and Han tells them… but wait, I’m spoiling it for you. The important thing is it is all very exciting and it ends well when Solo enters a waterskiing competition, but there’s a shark swimming nearby. I won’t say anymore.

Fans said unanimously:

It doesn’t matter if it’s a curl of poop with a flag saying Star Wars perched on a cocktail stick, we’d still go and see it.

When asked to comment Henry Winkler, said:

Sit on it!

Image courtesy of @ThePixelFactor.

 

RON HOWARD PROMISES TO DE-LEGO HAN SOLO

HOLLYWOOD – Happy Days actor and Rush director Ron Howard has promised that his Han Solo won’t feature Lego.

Ron Howard has been called in to replace Philip Lord and Chris Miller and has promised that he will reverse the Lego-like direction the new Star Wars film was going in. Kathleen Kennedy spoke to the Studio Exec:

The thing we all love about Ron is that there’s no Lego in any of his movies. Far and Away: no Lego. Rush: No Lego. Cinderella Man: no Lego. Apollo 13: no Lego. I could go on.

Please don’t.

Splash and A Beautiful Mind and The DaVinci Code: No L… wait I think there might have been some Lego in The DaVinci Code. But that was very much the anomaly.

Apart from the no Lego thing what does Ron bring to the table for Star Wars?

Well, he’s available. He has no discernible style to get in the way of the franchise. We’re kind of sick of all this ‘respect my vision’ bullshit. This is a Han Solo movie. The vision is: do you want to see a Han Solo movie? Yes. Okay open your eyes. There it is. What do you mean where’s the Lego? Get out of my house.

Han Solo will be released in 2018.

 

HAN SOLO NEWS: CHRIS MILLER AND PHIL LORD WANTED TO GO ‘FULL LEGO’

HOLLYWOOD –   fire Chris Miller and Phil Lord from the stand alone Star Wars movie Han Solo because ‘they wanted to go full lego’.

The Studio Exec received the shocking news that comedy directors Phil Lord and Chris Miller have been fired from the Han Solo movie only weeks before filming wraps. According to sources close to the production the firing came after tensions between Kathleen Kennedy and Lawrence Kasdan built up with the Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs duo. An insider told the Studio Exec:

At first everyone was on board with the direction that Phil and Chris were proposing. Kathleen hired them for their off the wall humor and their irreverence. But there was one major stumbling block that was never fully dealt with and that was what finally did for them. They wanted to do the whole film with lego.

You mean like an animated movie?

No, they were filming live action scenes. We went to Italy to film in the Dolomites. All over the place. But when the actors came on set they found these Lego versions of themselves. Chris told them to just voice the characters while Phil and Chris moved the Lego around.

Wow.

I know. At first we assumed they were doing pre-viz. You know that’s the thing now. But when the cast complained then Phil told wardrobe to basically make these huge Lego costumes. The guys run a fun set so we assumed it was a practical joke. But it went on all day and then the next. Kathleen was just fuming. She kept talking to Ron Howard all the time and she always had him on speaker phone so the guys and the crew could hear. She’d say things like ‘I could drop a rock on their heads while they’re sleeping’ and ‘twenty dollars buys me a guy called Luciano and no questions asked’. They began to get scared but they were unerring in their artistic vision. I’ll give them that.

The film stars Alden Ehrenreich in the role of the space smuggler, made famous by Harrison Ford. Donald Glover plays Lando Calrissian.

Han Solo will be released in 2018.

FIRST SHOT OF HAN SOLO STANDALONE

HOLLYWOOD – The first shot of the Han Solo standalone movie hit the internet today.

Han Solo – A Star Wars Story will be the first animated movie in the new Disney run franchise.  Alden Ehrenreich voices Solo and Donald Glover will play Lando. Directors Christopher Miller and Phil Lord dropped in to explain the decision to make the movie a cartoon:

First, we wanted to make the film as close to the original as possible and as good as the cast is they just don’t look enough like the original actors. So we decided to draw them with pencils and color them in with crayons. Plus we’re frankly more comfortable with pictures. It’s going to be Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs meets Star Wars.

Lawrence Kasdan and Jon Kasdan have written the script.

Doing the cartoon gives us a lot of options. There are characters we can include. Jar Jar for instance. He’s a cartoonish character so we’re really going to do this right. And we connect the Clone Wars as well because a lot of those drawings have already been done.

Disney release Han Solo: A Star Wars Story on May 25, 2018.

FIVE FACTS YOU NEVER KNEW ABOUT ALDEN EHRENREICH

HOLLYWOOD – Five Facts you never knew about the new Han Solo Alden Ehrenreich.

Everybody knows Alden Ehrenreich from… is going to be the new Han Solo, but what do we really know about him. We sent the Studio Exec FACT group to collect a bounty on his head from Jabba the FACT.

One. Alden Ehrenreich invented the typewriter.

Two. Although he brushes his teeth, Alden Ehrenreich refuses to floss, calling it ‘a con.’ The American Dental Association condemned the actor’s controversial flossing comments, saying he had gone ‘full-Carrey’.

Three. The young Ehrenreich has already impressed a series of hard-hitters in Hollywood, working for the Coen Brothers, as well as Woody Allen, Steven Spielberg and someone called Francis Ford Coppola.

Four. When Alden auditioned for the role of the young Han Solo  for directors Phil Lord and Chris Miller, he won their respect by turning up to the studio dressed in Lego.

Five. For his role in Hail Caesar, Alden learned Latin. Wrongly.

For more FACTS on everything from this to that click HERE! 

FINAL GAME OF THRONES TO BE LEGO EPISODE

HOLLYWOOD – The final episode of Game of Thrones is to be a Lego episode.

‘Everything is Hordor! Everything is Hordor when you’re part of a team!’

HBO’s epic fantasy series Game of Thrones is to conclude its 6th season with a Lego episode, it was revealed today. Showrunners Philip Lord and Chris Miller said that they had been saving up a special crossover conclusion that will have fans laughing and shrieking with horror in equal measure:

As we began to bring our surviving characters closer and closer together it became obvious that the main confrontation would take place in the penultimate episode with the Battle of the Bastards. In the Winds of Winter, we wanted to lighten the mood a little and we thought why not a Lego episode? From a budgetary point of view it was a lot cheaper and the actors didn’t have to get up so early in the morning to be on location so it was a really fun shoot.

But surely the adult nature of the show makes a Lego episode inappropriate?

I don’t know. After all you have Spongebob in talks for True Detective Season 3 and with Pixar making such clever children’s films, that demarcation between kids and adults is really coming down.

So the violence…?

And the anal sex, yep, we’re doing it all. A little Lego penis will be seen at some point for the first time in television history. And some of the gore… I think because it’s Lego we can actually go further than we would otherwise be able to. I felt quite sick after the test screening.

And the story?

I’m not giving away spoilers man. But I will say that there be dragons and Yellow Walkers.

Yellow walkers? You mean White Walkers?

Nope.

Game of Thrones Season 6 concludes tonight.

JOHN GOODMAN CONFIRMED AS HAN SOLO

HOLLYWOOD – Disney today confirmed that John Goodman would be taking on the iconic role of Han Solo in a stand alone Star Wars film to be directed by Chris Miller and Phil Lord of Lego Movie fame.

Roseanne Barr’s husband and Barton Fink’s next door neighbor John Goodman is to take over from Harrison Ford as everyone’s favorite smuggler, Han Solo, in a new stand alone Star Wars film. Despite rumors that Alden Ehrenreich of Hail Caesar! has been cast in the role, Disney today confirmed that they were going with Goodman. A source from within Disney spoke to the Studio Exec EXCLUSIVELY:

We wanted to go in a different direction. We wanted people to say ‘John Goodman as Han Solo? huh!’ And I think we’ve already achieved that.

But isn’t John Goodman too old to play a young Han Solo?

We always saw Han as a mature character. Even when he’s young he has a certain gravitas and a certain heft. You watch John Goodman in 10 Cloverfield Lane or Matinee and you’ll know exactly why we hired him. He’s in practically ever decent Coen Brothers film that there is. There’s a reason for that.

John Goodman himself phoned later this evening to offer his thoughts on becoming the pilot of the Millennium Falcon.

To be perfectly honest with you, I don’t like Star Wars. I find it a childish fantasy and I particularly hate the way the young people are being sold this regurgitated nostalgia for a time that they never themselves experienced. It’s like your parents forcing you to listen to Pink Floyd under some misapprehension that it’s good.

So why are you doing it?

Well, I read the script and… money.

Han Solo: 12 Parsecs to Fame will be released in 2019.

5 FACTS YOU NEVER KNEW ABOUT HAN SOLO

HOLLYWOOD – With the news that there will be a stand alone Star Wars Anthology movie for Han Solo directed by Chris Miller and Phil Lord, the Studio Exec FACT Squad jumped into their Millennium Falcon and ‘punched it’.

So here are the five FACTS you need to know but didn’t about the man who made the Kessel run in under 12 par secs.

1. The Kessler Run is actually a really short distance and most people make it in 5 par secs easy. Han Solo has always been a bad liar, often making his lies less impressive than the truth would have been.

2. Han Solo’s real name is Derek ‘Hand’ Solo. The nickname ‘hand’ comes from the old Academy days when ‘Hand’ was known mainly for his endless devotion to Onanism. He dropped the ‘D’ for obvious reasons.

3. Wookie co-pilot Chewbacca and Han Solo have only had sex with each other once when they were both very drunk. Neither have ruled a repetition out, but have no plans to take the relationship any further.

4. The Millennium Falcon actually belongs to Chewbacca, but Wookies are notoriously inept at legal niceties and Han Solo just pretends it belongs to him. He’s been doing it so long now that when the time comes to pay the insurance both Chewbacca and Han Solo are surprised to find the ship in Chewbacca’s name. They laugh over this now.

5. Han Solo never actually married Princess Leia. They just live together and have great sex.

For more FACTS click HERE.

FIRST LOOK AT HAN SOLO ANTHOLOGY STAR

HOLLYWOOD – For the umpteenth time, the Studio Exec brings an EXCLUSIVE preview of the new Han Solo who is to star in the upcoming Star Wars Anthology movie to be directed by Chris Miller and Phil Lord.

Very little is known about the young actor and we don’t even have his name but he will play Han Solo in the new movie and as you can see the costume is on traditional lines, with the trademark blaster and holster.

Han Solo has been everybody’s favorite Star Wars character, except for director Terrence Malick who – due to idiosyncrasy – prefers Jabba the Hutt.

A source close to the team that brought us Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs, The Lego Movie and 21 Jump Street said that the boys were extremely excited about landing the job.

Chris and Phil are both huge geeks as can be evidenced from the many in jokes, throughout their films. I think this is a perfect fit for them and I know they already have a lot of ideas about where to take the new movie and especially the look it ought to have. They really want to get back to that physical universe of the 1970s. You know a blocky aesthetic.

There is very little about the plot that we know yet, though rumor has it the new film will trace the early adventures of Han Solo as a smuggler and his first meeting with Chewbacca. The character was first made famous by an actor called Harrison Ford who will also be appearing in a later Han Solo film called Never Say Never Again.

Han Solo: Cloudy With a Chance of Wookie will be released in 2017.

MICHAEL HANEKE EYES LEGO MOVIE 2

HOLLYWOOD – He said he’d never do it, but Austrian film director Michael Haneke is considering taking the helm of The Lego Movie 2.

Phil Lord and Chris Miller spoke about the Funny Games and White Ribbon director’s involvement with The Lego Movie 2 and his involvement with their previous projects:

Michael likes to keep the worlds seperate, but in truth he has been a part of our creative team since the very beginning. He is fascinated by the duality of life. On one side you have the brutality of existence and on the other the hopelessness of existence. We first met him when we were young film students and he was making Funny Games (US). We had a script for Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs and he very generously read it and gave us some notes.

What were the notes?

He said that the main character, Flint Lockwood, should die at the end. And Sam Sparks should die. And Flint’s dad should die. Everybody should die basically and food should take over the world. We obviously decided to go in another direction, but he encouraged us to work harder for the comedy.

How will he be involved in The Lego Movie 2?

Michael basically wrote the first two drafts of the first film. The whole subversion of capitalism thing was him. Very few people know this, but Michael also wrote the lyrics to Everything is Awesome, which when you think about it is awesome. Naturally we went to him for ideas on the sequel and jokingly asked if he would be interested in directing it. At first he was unsure because he is also scripting 23 Jump Street and he’s wrapping up production of the Amour sequel, but we are very hopeful he is going to say yes.

How will The Lego Movie 2 be different with Michael Haneke directing?

I’m not sure it’ll be darker. After all, Michael likes to defy expectations, but the script is in and we’re really looking forward to seeing what he can do.

The Lego Movie 2: Extinction will be filming in 2016.

TOY STORY 4 TO MERGE WITH THE LEGO MOVIE 2

HOLLYWOOD – The long awaited sequel Toy Story 4 will also be The Lego Movie 2, Pixar Animation Studios announced today.

John Lasseter, who will co-direct the film, spoke with the Studio Exec EXCLUSIVELY:

We’re working on the script, but right from the get go we realized that the Toy Story universe and the Lego Movie universe are essentially the same universe, so we want to incorporate the two and make one huge toy universe in which almost anything can happen. At first everyone thought I was crazy, but I had just one word: merchandizing.

So what’s the story?

Story? Oh yeah, story. Well basically, Emmet Brickowski (Chris Pratt) has decided to take a holiday in Old West Land where he meets the Lego version of Woody (Tom Hanks). The two become friends but Woody gets hit on the head and suddenly remembers that there is a whole world out there with Andy and Buzz Lightyear and his friends. The world they’re living in is a construct. A kind of Maatrix based on capitalistic exploitation of childhood imagination.

Heavy.

Absolutely. We’ve all been reading Thomas Piketty and the guy has a point. In fact we brought him in to do a rewrite. Anyway, Woody – with Emmet’s help escapse Old West Land and goes to Sci-Fi Planet where he meets up with Lego Buzz and Batman, who are best buddies.  They all journey through a series of worlds until finally they make it to the real world where they discover that Andy has grown up and is now a middle aged man. He is [SPOILER] President Business (Will Ferrell).

Post modern.

I know. That’s basically Miller and Lord and Piketty. President Business is merging everything into bigger and bigger conglomerates, stifling originality and turning out an endless repetition of instant nostalgia to keep us all in a state of suspended immaturity. Essentially, he’s Disney.

Hey, but you’re Disney?

I know. This is going to be the most honest self evaluation since Saint Augustine.

Jesus.

No, I said Saint Augustine.

The Toy Lego Story Movie 6 will be out in the Summer.

 

LEGO MOVIE RIOTS BREAK OUT IN LA

HOLLYWOOD – Police and civic leaders were this evening calling for calm as riots continued to rage across Los Angeles following the snubbing of The Lego Movie at the Academy  Awards nominations.

People had begun to gather early in the afternoon when an ugly rumor spread that How to Train Your Dragon 2 had been nominated whereas The Lego Movie had been neglected entirely. An eyewitness told the Studio Exec EXCLUSIVELY:

At first people were chanting wry stuff like ‘Everything is not f*cking Awesome’ and ‘Down with President Business’ when someone spotted a guy wearing a Big Hero 6 t-shirt and it all went crazy. Petrol bombs were thrown, windows broken, the police responded with tear gas and baton charges.

President Barack Obama was one of many voices calling for calm, but has also ordered the mobilization of the National Guard.

In his television address this evening, the President said:

I am calling on everyone to stay at home and maintain law and order. I know that it absolutely blows that Lord and Miller’s film wasn’t recognized. And for what? How to Train Your Dragon 2? But we must keep a sense of proportion. These are the Oscars. They really don’t matter that much, except to George Clooney and Leonardo diCaprio.

Chris Miller and Philip Lord both tweeted about their dissatisfaction but with trademark good humor. Neither of them have responded to accusations that they were the main instigators of the riots. Late last night Fox News’ Bill O’Reilly stated that:

The Lego Movie encourages civil unrest, portrays violent protest as legitimate with its frankly communist attack on our economic system and our need for social obedience. No wonder pinheads are fighting on the streets of Los Angeles.

The Oscars are a bunch of bullsh*t on February 22nd, 2015.