5 FACTS YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT AVENGERS: ENDGAME

HOLLYWOOD – Avengers: Endgame is almost upon us so what do you need to know?

As tickets for Avengers: Endgame go on sale, here are five FACTS for you to MARVEL at.

1 Iron Man will be played by Chris Evans and Robert Downey Jr will play Captain America, because they are bored.

2 The Hulk will get angry at a decisive moment.

3 Stan Lee’s body will make a cameo – Weekend at Bernie’s style.

4 Captain Marvel will be amazing. The ending won’t be anywhere near as good as the ending of Infinity War. Many of the surprises you already know, so they’ll kill off someone unexpectedly/expectedly in the first five minutes so you’ll lose your shit.

5 You’ll be humming the score for a couple of seconds and then completely forget it.

For more FACTS click HERE.

AVENGERS INFINITY WAR: SPOILER FREE REVIEW

HOLLYWOOD – Avengers: Infinity War is here.

And so here is our SPOILER FREE review. 100% SPOILER FREE. Go Ahead and read on. Because there are no SPOILERS. If you want SPOILERS go elsewhere because you ain’t getting them here buddy.

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QUEEN RESIGNS FOLLOWING BREXIT

LONDON – The monarch of the Uited Kingdom Queen Elizabeth II has resigned following the Brexit vote.

The Queen’s resignation – or abdication as she prefers to call it – came in the wake of what has been a shocking ten days following the referendum vote that saw a slim majority opt to leave the European Union.

Prime Minister David Cameron, Boris Johnson, Nigel Farage of UKIP and Chris Evans of Top Gear have all stepped down from their positions of power, citing incapacity, unpopularity, cowardliness or stupidity for their various reasons. Buckingham Palace issued a short statement to the BBC with the news of the departure of the aging monarch:

The Queen has decided to step down following the vote to leave the European Union. She feels that Britain is no longer the place for her family (who are German) or her husband (who is Greek). They will be enjoying their retirement in Spain, alongside the one million British citizens who also reside there.

The comedy Brexit continues next week.

CAPTAIN AMERICA R-RATED DIRECTOR’S CUT FEATURES BUCKY SEX SCENE

HOLLYWOOD – Following the success of Captain America: Civil War, Marvel are to release the Russo brothers’ extended cut in a special R rated edition which will feature the much rumored Captain America / Bucky sex scene.

Speaking EXCLUSIVELY to the Studio Exec, a Marvel insider spilled the beans on the steamiest Marvel movie ever.

There was always a scene in the script. It’s in the original Mark Millar comic book. It was filmed and right until the last minute it was in the final cut, but there was an emergency meeting and cold feet prevailed. However, if you watch the movie as it stands now in theaters, you can tell that there is a missing sex scene between Captain America and Bucky. Otherwise the whole film doesn’t really make sense.

But it will appear in the director’s cut?

Yes, the film is very long as it stands and so there were questions of length as well as rating and the kind of audience we were hoping to pull. But the Russo Brothers were committed to the scene and Chris Evans was a partisan for it as well. Robert Downey Jr thought that it was obvious and the tension worked better when you didn’t have an on screen consummation. Evans and Downey got into a bit of a scrap, ironically mirroring the action of the movie.

Captain America: Civil War: The Director’s Cut will be released in June.

CAPTAIN AMERICA: CIVIL WAR – SPOILER FREE REVIEW

HOLLYWOOD – As Marvel’s new movie Captain America: Civil War hits the screens, the Studio Exec gives his trademark SPOILER FREE review.

One of the most eagerly waited films of the year, Captain America: Civil War has finally arrived but is it any good? Read our EXCLUSIVE SPOILER FREE review.

Either Captain America wins, or Iron Man wins, or they both discover that their mothers had the same name.

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CAPTAIN AMERICA: CIVIL WAR ‘HISTORICALLY INACCURATE’

HOLLYWOOD – The next big Marvel movie – Captain America: Civil War – is ‘historically inaccurate’ claims academic.

Captain America: Civil War might be creating a lot of positive buzz from early screenings, but Professor Aloysius Halton was not impressed by the film’s rendering of a historical period of which he is an acknowledged expert:

The fact of the matter is the American Civil War began on April 12, 1861 and ended on May 9, 1865. In that period the North and the South battled for supremacy, with fortunes swinging first one way then the next. This new film contains so many historical inaccuracies that it is difficult to know where to begin.

But Professor…?

To begin with the technology on display here is totally anachronistic. Not only are there cars and airplanes and computers – none of which existed in the mid-nineteenth century, but there’s even an Iron Man, who flies around on jet engines! Ludicrous.

But surely…?

And the principal participants of the Civil War were not an outlandish figure called Captain America or Iron Man. It was Abraham Lincoln and Jefferson Davis. Generals Lee and Ulysses Grant are entirely absent from this retelling and although there is a character called Black Panther, there is hardly ever note taken of the role of slavery, even though that issue was the central Casus Belli. F minus.

Captain America: Civil War is due out later this month.

5 FACTS WE LEARNED ABOUT CAPTAIN AMERICA: CIVIL WAR

HOLLYWOOD – The new trailer to Captain America: Civil War dropped and with it the first sight of Tom Holland’s Spider-Man, but what did we really learn.

The Studio Exec FACT Squad is currently being ripped asunder (which is not good) by a civil war about which side to support on Captain America: Civil War, so we sent both halves of the warring squad into battle to find out five FACTS about the new film from watching the trailer once on a phone with a poor Wi-Fi connection.

1. It is historically inaccurate. Although the characters wear ‘costumes’ they are not correct to the period from 1861-1865 in which the Civil War took place.

2. Chris Evans, Robert Downey Jr., Scarlett Johansson, Sebastian Stan, Anthony Mackie, Emily VanCamp, Don Cheadle, Jeremy Renner,Chadwick Boseman, Paul Bettany, Elizabeth Olsen, Paul Rudd, Frank Grillo, Tom Holland, William Hurt, and Daniel Brühl are in it

3. Tony Stark loves Captain America’s perfect teeth but there’s an edge there.

4. New York, Washington and Skikky-lovia have been destroyed. Everyone looks serious, including William Hurt who is playing Michael Douglas, Robert Redford and Jeff Bridges.

5. Black Panther isn’t actually a panther. And Spider-Man isn’t actually a Spider.

For more FACTS click HERE.

POPULATION OF SWEDEN CAST IN AVENGERS: CIVIL WAR

HOLLYWOOD -The 9,593,421 population of Sweden were confirmed to all have roles in the upcoming Avengers movie, Avengers Civil War.

The entire Swedish population will join Paul Rudd, Martin Freeman, Daniel Bruhl, Chris Evans, Jeremy Renner, Robert Downey Jr, Elizabeth Olsen, Scarlett Johansson, Chadwick Boseman, Frank Grillo, William Hurt and Don Cheadle in Avengers Civil War, the third movie in the sequence. The Russo brothers popped in to the Studio Exec bungalow to explain EXCLUSIVELY their thinking behind the move.

Anthony Russo: We want this movie to have a genuinely epic scale. Civil War! You know it gives you that feeling of size, of magnificent hugeness. In the past Avengers movies have concentrated on teams and cities, but now we’re into armies and nations. So Sweden seemed like the perfect choice. They speak really good English and we picked up some nice tax breaks.

But when you say cast, you mean extras, right? I mean nine million people here.

Joe Russo: Well, the positive thing is they come with their own infrastructure and a system of government. Ha ha! No, but seriously, we are talking about speaking roles here. Not just what we used to call Background Artists.

That’s crazy!

AR: Is it? Terrence Malick used the entire population of France to make To the Wonder.

No he didn’t.

JR: Did so! But in the end he cut most of them. To their immense relief, it has to be said, once they saw the movie.

Avengers: Civil War will be released in 2016.

AVENGERS AGE OF ULTRON: REVIEW

AVENGERS AGE OF ULTRON: REVIEW – The Avengers return in Joss Whedon’s slick screwball comedy.

Crash, Bang, Wallop – what a picture! There’s wit – fan service – action scenes and other stuff, but to be honest I’m getting a bit tired of Marvel and superhero pictures in general. There’s nothing wrong with the picture. Far from it. The gang are back together and fighting Hydra in some snowy mittel-European Ruritania, providing The Avengers with a nice ‘elsewhere’ setting in some exciting punch ’em up scenes: the hero shot comes early! And then we have a glowing blue doo-hah which must be protected because it’s so powerful. But Tony Stark/Iron Man (Robert Downey Jr.) can’t help but fiddle with it in an attempt to create an artificial intelligence defense system which would effectively render the Avengers obsolete.  Oopsy-daisy! Ultron turns into a super villain intent on wiping out humanity.

Despite the clear intelligence of Whedon as a filmmaker, his actually characters are whoppingly stupid, none more so than the ‘genius’ Stark, who frankly gets off incredibly lightly for his potentially genocidal error. There’s some soap opera with the Hulk (Mark Ruffalo) and Black Widow (Scarlett Johansson). Thor (Chris Hemsworth) and Captain America (Chris Evans) grab some of the funniest lines, proving that occasionally it’s the straight men who can snatch the laughs when the self-knowing wit of RDJ grows wearisome. Elizabeth Olsen, Aaron Taylor-Johnson and Paul Bettany are new heroes, the former seems to be spending this phase of her career tripping through rubble (see also Godzilla).

So it’s fun and all that. But I can’t say I care as much as perhaps I’m led to believe by score etc. that I should. I don’t care about Hulk and Black Widow. I’m unconvinced by the moral conundrums, when no one seems to want to take responsibility for their actions. Doctor Banner is supposed to be the conscience of the group but after he wreaks havoc through a city center his only solution seems to be to run away. And perhaps I’m weighed down by the prospect of another two Russo brothers directed movies: The Avengers: Infinity Wars Parts One and Two, but I’m beginning to suffer from a genuine fatigue with this sort of thing, regardless of its quality. It’s going to go the way of the Western. There are simply too many and no matter how good an individual film might be – and this is a stand out entry – there are only so many times you can watch a city destroyed, a blue doo-dah purloined, a bunch of costumed sociopaths ruminate on morality before you begin to think it might be time for the whole sub-fascist circus to be wrapped up and put away.

For more Reviews CLICK HERE.

JEREMY RENNER CHRIS EVANS: FULL INTERVIEW TRANSCRIPT

HOLLYWOOD – It was an ordinary press junket for their new film Avengers: Age of Ultron, but for Jeremy Renner and Chris Evans it was about to become real.

Then the interviewer asked Captain America (Chris Evans) and Hawkeye (Jeremy Renner) what they thought of Black Widow (Scarlett Johansson) and the fact her character fell in love with another character (SPOILER) who was not their characters in a fictional universe. What happened next will blow your mind. Read the full interview transcript below:

Jeremy Renner: Well, obviously, I think it sucks. I mean I thought we – that is to say our fictional characters were close but it’s typical, isn’t it?

Chris Evans: Yes. I was hoping that we might get together. After all there aren’t many women in the Marvel universe and so for the rest of the time it’s one big sausage fest.

JR: In a way you could see that as part of the problem. Goddamned Bechdel test. If we didn’t have to have a woman in it, we could just all be men and there wouldn’t be this kind of conversation tearing us apart.

CE: I agree with Jeremy on this. Women just cause heartbreak and although I respect Scarlett as a fellow performer and a human being, I’d have to say that in general all women are horrible, conniving, duplicitous, actively evil people and the world would be a much better places if it was just men having men babies through their men holes.

Interviewer: (LAUGHING) Men holes?

JR: Hey Chris is serious, man. We talked about this on set and we all agree. If women could just like all go away. JOss did a great job of getting rid of Natalie Portman and Gwyneth Paltrow and I know there was a version of the script where Black Widow was on the wrong end of a HULK SMASH, but I don’t know what happened, it’s political correctness gone mad again I guess.

CE: Just think about it. All us men, with no women soiling the place with their menstrual cycles and boy band crushes. We could leave the toilet seat up.

JR: We could leave the toilet door open.

CE: We wouldn’t have to wear pants. We could just walk around with no pants on our junk swinging free. It’d be great.

Interviewer: You’re joking.

CE: NO! We are deadly serious. Women must be stopped.

JR: I wrote a letter.

CE: I love the way your mind works man.

JR: Thanks guy. I love you too.

Avengers Age of Ultron is in cinemas currently.