STEVE MARTIN IS LAUREL AND HARDY

HOLLYWOOD – Steve Martin has revealed that he is to play Laurel and Hardy in a new version of Way Out West to be directed by Robert Zemeckis.

‘We’ll use some CGI,’ said The Man with Two Brains, ‘But this will be largely live action, with me playing both roles.’

The beloved comedy duo were a sublime comedy double team so how will Cheaper by the Dozen Martin face the challenge of playing not one part but both?

Steve Martin told the Studio Exec EXCLUSIVELY:

When I was acting in The Jerk I sat down and I wrote a list of comedy heroes, but I wanted to overcome and defeat. To eat up whole if you like. Phil Silvers as Sgt. Bilko, Spencer Tracy in Father of the Bride, Peter Sellers as Inspector Clousseau. I think – without wanting to appear hubristic – that I’ve managed to achieve my ambition. When anyone thinks of those characters, they don’t think of Sellers, or Silvers, or Tracy, they immediately think of Steve Martin. That’s me. Steve Martin. The King of Comedy.

 Robert Zemeckis seems a trifle embarrassed, ‘The thing about rediscovering a classic is that…’

‘We should call it Stevel and Stevey!’ shouts Steve Martin. ‘I mean after the film, no one’s going to think of those bozos any more.’

Who next?

Well, it’s obvious isn’t it? After I finish with Laurel and Hardy, first I’m going to make a film called Abbot and Costello Meet Frankenstein and I’ll play Abbot and Costello and Frankenstein. Then it’s on to the Marx Brothers, where I’ll play all four and the harp.

‘Way Out West is due for a Xmas release 2019.

‘WE ARE FAMILY’ WILL NEVER BE USED IN A TRAILER AGAIN

HOLLYWOOD – Steve Martin/Whoopi Goldberg family friendly comedies will never be the same again after Nile Rogers decided yesterday to permanently withdraw ‘We Are Family’ from the public sphere.

The 1979 Sister Sledge hit has been a staple of advertising and feel good comedies, but as Mr. Rogers, who penned the song with the late Bernard Edwards, said yesterday ‘I’m sick of the goddam sound of the goddam thing!’

Music historian Haverman Belt lamented the decision:

Whenever an odd ball group of people are finding hitherto unsuspected affinity with one another as they establish a small business, repair a fire engine, walk a ridiculous number of dogs or put up several tents, the musical montage will now be a poorer place.  

Steve Martin also commented, remarking that Cheaper By the Dozen 3 the long awaited sequel to the most popular pro-Choice comedy franchise in history now looks much less likely.

 

‘We were writing the script around the song,’ said the silver haired one.

Cheaper By the Dozen 3: the Vasectomy will be released in 2015.

STEVE MARTIN CONFIRMS CHEAPER BY THE DOZEN 3

HOLLYWOOD – It’s the news all Cheaper by the Dozen fans have been waiting for: Steve Martin has finally agreed to come on board for what promises to be very literally the concluding film in the hilarious trilogy.

The zany star was a hard man to convince according to director Shawn Levy.

Steve is an artist and as such he is dead against reprising a role only for the sake of money. His three magic words are originality, originality, originality. I needed to give him a compelling story, an intelligent and nuanced script, and moral that he could get behind. I think Cheaper By the Dozen 3 will deliver on all fronts.

Once more Martin plays Tom Baker, the wacky dad of twelve kids. Following on from what many claim to be the funniest film ever made, Cheaper By the Dozen 2, the new film sees the cast reunited with Bonnie Hunt once more in the role of Tom’s fecund wife and Hilary Duff (among others) as members of their cute brood.

“The new film is going to be dark,” Duff said. “We are catching up with the family some years down the line and things have not gone well. There have been drug overdoses, serial infidelity and several suicide attempts. And some of the older kids aren’t doing too well either.”

Cheaper By the Dozen 3 begins filming in 2017.  

STEVE MARTIN MAKES CHEAPER BY THE TWO FOR CHINA

BEIJING – With the aim of capturing the massive Chinese audience, Steve Martin is to remake his 2003 remake Cheaper by the Dozen explicitly for China with the new title: Cheaper by the Two.

The story follows the difficulties of Bill Mumy (Steve Martin) and his wife Linda (Bonnie Hunt) as he tries to juggle his busy work life, when he is hired to coach a Chinese baseball team, with his massive family of two riotous children, played by Jonah Hill and Eddie Murphy. Martin said spoke EXCLUSIVELY to Studio Exec this evening:

We’re absolutely delighted to have the opportunity to retell this story for a different audience and – as family is a universal theme – we are confident that we will connect with the Asian cinema-going public and money. Money money money.

And you get to work with Eddie Murphy again.

Ha ha. Yes. Poor Eddie, poor, poor Eddie. Yes, we’ll obviously be CGIing him and Jonah so they look small enough to be kids. Benjamin Button them in reverse.

Are there any changes you had to make to the script to fit audience expectations? 

None at all. I wrote what I thought was the best script and we shot it and that’s the film that we’ll release. Some might look at the scene where we denounce the next door neighbour for his critical remarks against the Party as trying to win favour with the authorities but actually I feel that the comedy execution scene and the part where his wife gets the bill for the bullets is just gold.

Cheaper by the Two will be released in China in 2015.

STEVE MARTIN IS BENNY HILL

 

HOLLYWOOD – Steve Martin has confirmed that his new assault on the Golden Age of Comedy – following Bilko, Father of the Bride and The Pink Panther – will be a biopic of British comedy legend Benny Hill, tentatively entitled The Hill Has Eyes (for Scantily Clad Ladies).

From his secret layer deep in the Hollywood hills, the grey haired one commented:

This project is very close to my heart. When I was growing up as a young man I would always watch Phil Silvers Peter Sellers old Spencer Tracy films the Benny Hill Show. I used to love the way he cheated the Army authorities was chased by women everywhere with his unmistakeable French accent cheeky grin. I hope in a small way this film will be a tribute to work that he and Katherine Hepburn did. 

Plot details are few but Sir Ben Kingsley is already on board in the role of Jackie Wright, the little old man who Benny would often slap patronizingly on the top of his bald head during speeded up chase scenes. Sir Kingsley said that he regarded the role as the most difficult of his career:

If you look at what Wright did, it wasn’t just being slapped on the top of the head, any jobbing comic could do that, it was the artistry, the look of subtle sadness in his eyes, which said, “this is not I being slapped on the head by Benny Hill, it is humanity being slapped on the top of the head by LIFE”! I full expect to be knighted again following this performance. And hopefully the Queen will deign to pat me on the top of the head with her sword. Ha ha ha ha!  

The Hill Has Eyes (For Scantily Clad Ladies) is due to be released in 2015.