HOLLYWOOD – Steve Martin/Whoopi Goldberg family friendly comedies will never be the same again after Nile Rogers decided yesterday to permanently withdraw ‘We Are Family’ from the public sphere.

The 1979 Sister Sledge hit has been a staple of advertising and feel good comedies, but as Mr. Rogers, who penned the song with the late Bernard Edwards, said yesterday ‘I’m sick of the goddam sound of the goddam thing!’

Music historian Haverman Belt lamented the decision:

Whenever an odd ball group of people are finding hitherto unsuspected affinity with one another as they establish a small business, repair a fire engine, walk a ridiculous number of dogs or put up several tents, the musical montage will now be a poorer place.  

Steve Martin also commented, remarking that Cheaper By the Dozen 3 the long awaited sequel to the most popular pro-Choice comedy franchise in history now looks much less likely.


‘We were writing the script around the song,’ said the silver haired one.

Cheaper By the Dozen 3: the Vasectomy will be released in 2015.


HOLLYWOOD – It’s the news all Cheaper by the Dozen fans have been waiting for: Steve Martin has finally agreed to come on board for what promises to be very literally the concluding film in the hilarious trilogy.

The zany star was a hard man to convince according to director Shawn Levy.

Steve is an artist and as such he is dead against reprising a role only for the sake of money. His three magic words are originality, originality, originality. I needed to give him a compelling story, an intelligent and nuanced script, and moral that he could get behind. I think Cheaper By the Dozen 3 will deliver on all fronts.

Once more Martin plays Tom Baker, the wacky dad of twelve kids. Following on from what many claim to be the funniest film ever made, Cheaper By the Dozen 2, the new film sees the cast reunited with Bonnie Hunt once more in the role of Tom’s fecund wife and Hilary Duff (among others) as members of their cute brood.

“The new film is going to be dark,” Duff said. “We are catching up with the family some years down the line and things have not gone well. There have been drug overdoses, serial infidelity and several suicide attempts. And some of the older kids aren’t doing too well either.”

Cheaper By the Dozen 3 begins filming in 2017.