HOLLYWOOD – The election result has depressed leading Hollywood journalist Chad Sternberger that he can’t think of a hilarious post for website The Studio Exec.

Donald Trump has been elected President and there ain’t nothing we can do about that shit. Forget any hope of the electoral college revolting or demonstrations in the street, or an impeachable crime being proved in the next 48 hours. January 20th Donald Trump will be inaugurated as the 45th President of the United States of America. Consequences with NATO, China, Russia, the environment, racial minorities, women, the LGBTQ community and the healthcare system are all important but even more so has been the disruption the tycoon’s election has also caused right here, at the Studio Exec bungalow. Chad Sternberger is usually a prodigious writer, spinning yarns from within the Hollywood miasma, reporting the latest buzz on the sly and coming up with hilarious quips, but it’s been two days we’ve not heard from him. He left his wordpress page open and so I dragged myself in to write a post under his byline.

I did manage to talk to him on the phone and he had this to say EXCLUSIVELY:

What’s the fucking point? Who gives a shit about Peter Jackson remaking Schindler’s List with orcs instead of Nazis? Who cares that Gary Oldman is playing Winston Churchill’s upper half while Daniel Day-Lewis is playing him from the waist down? It all seems so fricking meaningless now. Did you see who he’s appointing to the EPA? You know that the planet is basically Game Over? Right?

We tried to persuade Chad to come in but it looks like he needs some encouragement. After all, in these dark times we need movie-based satire more than ever before. Think how movie satire in Berlin in 1937 stopped the Nazis in their tracks. Not for long granted, but we didn’t have memes then so we could only do so much. Think of how movie based satire dismantled Apartheid and the Berlin Wall. How it put a man on the moon. Please share this post so we can show the numbers to Chad and make him realize that if he doesn’t come in soon I Toby Hillerton, the intern, will soon have his job!

All Hail Plankton!