LUCA GUADAGNINO TO REMAKE JAMES AND THE GIANT PEACH

HOLLYWOOD – Call Me By Your Name director Luca Guadagnino signs on to remake Roald Dahl’s James and the Giant Peach.

Italian hemler Luca Guadagnino is currently remaking Dario Argento’s Suspiria and there are reports of a Call Me By Your Name 2, but today he announced his next film: James and the Giant Peach. He spoke EXCLUSIVELY with the Studio Exec and had this to say:

I’m in love with fruit. What can I say? I think it’s gorgeous. And I love the idea of this film. Because peaches, they’re my favorite fruit. They have skin that is as soft as velvet and they are so round and sensuous.

Although a stop motion adaptation of the book came out in 1996, Guadagnino’s film is going to be live action.

I want to see a real boy going into that peach. Penetrating its soft flesh. And then there are adventures of all sorts but he always returns to the peach, coming back into it again and again.

But surely this is a children’s film?

No. [Laughs filthily] No, is not for children. No way. No way at all.

James and the Giant Peach comes out in 2020.

BRUTALLY CONFUSED OSCAR VOTER WANTS MERYL STREEP TO WIN BEST PICTURE

HOLLYWOOD – Meryl Streep should win the Best Picture Oscar, according to a confused Academy member.

Anonymous Academy voter has argued that the Best Picture Oscar should go to Meryl Streep. Speaking EXCLUSIVELY to the Studio Exec, the confused voter gave this account of himself:

I’m not voting for Get Out because a. I don’t like horror movies and b. black people. I’m not voting for Shape of Water because a. I don’t like monster movies and b. I don’t like Mexicans. Phantom Thread: a. I don’t like ghost stories b. who’s this Fred? Ladybird is out because women. Yuk. Call Me By Your Name put me off fruit. The Post is fake news. Dunkirk I can’t understand why Bane is flying a Spitfire. So I’ve decided to vote for Meryl Streep for best picture.

But she isn’t nominated in that category.

It doesn’t matter. She is wonderful and I’m voting for her as best director, best make up, best soundtrack as well. Frankly, I’m just writing Streep all over my ballot.

The Oscars are tomorrow.

TIMOTHEE CHALAMET TO PLAY YOUNG NICK CAVE IN BECOMING NICK

HOLLYWOOD – Timothée Chalamet rumored to play young Nick Cave in Australian rocker’s biopic.

Call Me By Your Name and Ladybird star Timothée Chalamet is to hit our screens once more as Nick Cave in a new film tracing the origins of the Australian musician. Becoming Nick will show the antipodean punk in his formative years in his native Australia and will climax with him leaving for London where he’ll form The Birthday Party and go on to have an internationally successful career. Writer and director Andrew Dominic had this to say:

I’ve known Nick it seems all my life and I knew him way before he was the famous singer song writer we see today. And yet he nick cavewas always a massive personality and that’s what Timothée brings to the role. He’s a force of nature, the little bugger. I saw Call Me By Your Name and I just went ‘Strewth! this geezer’s a player!’

Chalamet said he was enthused by the project.

I’m a huge Nick Cave fan. I even read his awful novel.

This will be the third time that Nick Cave’s life has been the subject of a movie. William Hurt starred in The Weeping Song in 1998 directed by Werner Herzog. And in 2003 Gary Oldman played Cave in Russell Crowe’s The Water Diviner.

Young Nick comes out in 2020.

 

HETEROSEXUAL CALL ME BY YOUR NAME IN THE WORKS

HOLLYWOOD – Luca Guadagnino’s Call Me by Your Name is to be remade as a heterosexual love story.

Set in Italy in 1983, Call Me by Your Name chronicles the romantic relationship between a 17-year-old Italian-American boy, Elio Perlman, and his father’s American assistant, Oliver. Timothée Chalamet and Armi Hammer star and the film has received critical praise and even Oscar buzz. Now it looks like a remake is in the offing, but with a twist. A source close to the remake told the Studio Exec:

We love the piece and we want to see what it would look like as a heterosexual love story. After all, the themes themselves are universal and not specific to any particular sexual orientation.

Ellen Page and Zachary Quinto have signed on to play the two leads. Quinto spoke to Studio Exec about the role:

Normally it isn’t something that would attract me. But the novel is so strong and I like the challenge of playing a straight man who isn’t Vulcan.

Ellen Page countered criticism that the new film is swapping over the sexuality.

I think it is proof of how much progress we’ve made that it honestly doesn’t matter one bit if this story is gay or straight. It’s all love after all.

The remake is only the latest in a series of ‘re-straights’ – Heterosexual versions of gay movies – that have taken Hollywood by storm. The success of Healthy Back Mountain in 2016 began the trend, which was swiftly followed by Daryl – a remake of Todd Haynes’ Carol – and Blue is NOT the Warmest Color.

Call Me by My Name comes out in 2019.