DAVID DUCHOVNY BRINGS BACK RED SHOE DIARIES

HOLLYWOOD – First we hear The X-Files is coming back and now David Duchovny has revealed that popular nineties erotic anthology show The Red Shoe Diaries are also coming back.

Of course everyone is excited about the return of Twin Peaks and some even more so about the imminent revisiting by Mulder (David Duchovny) and Scully (Gillian Anderson) in “The X-Files”, but for some of us David Duchovny will always be the gate keeper to television erotica that was “The Red Shoe Diaries”. Running throughout the 90s and directed by Zalman King and Raphael Eisenman, the anthology show featured Duchovny in the role of Jack Winters, a man whose lover has committed suicide and who asks women to write in letters describing their knocking off experiences in a quest to understand the mystery that is woman.

The Californication star dropped by the Studio Exec hot tub to talk EXCLUSIVELY about what had got the creative juices flowing once more:

You know how it is, you get to a stage in your career and you simply don’t want new challenges. You want to go back to the old challenges and see if you can do them over and better. I was in Aquarius and that was quite good and Californication, but really I wanted to get back to the X-Files and once I was doing that I thought why don’t we do Jack Winters again. I’m really curious to find out, where is Jack today and what, in the age of internet pornography, is he doing with himself.

And what’s the answer?

He’s been spending a lot of time in his room and he’s lost weight! No, I’m only kidding you. The fact of the matter is the more we  allow a free run of our desires – 5 Shades of Grey etc. – the more mysterious the become and the more alienated we become from them. It’s the paradox of our time that we have all these freedoms and what do we fantasize about? Being tied up and told what to do. It’s as if capitalism had a direct through line to our id.

What everybody loved about the original – apart from the cinematography and music – were the high end cameos. Who have you got lined up for the new show?

Kristen Stewart, Jennifer Lawrence, Amy Adams, Jessica Chastain, Scarlett Johansson and Mila Kunis…

Wow!

…are just a few of the actresses who have turned us down. But I’m hoping to pull some strings and maybe we can persuade Lindsay Lohan and Tara Reid to make an appearance. Steve Buscemi is definitely in for the pilot. Which ironically is going to be about a pilot! Ha!

The Red Show Diaries will be broadcast early next year.

DAVID DUCHOVNY GROWS FACE ON HIS ASS















HOLLYWOOD – Actor, humanitarian and NOT a Canadian David Duchovny spoke exclusively to The Studio Exec of his pain today in discovering that he had grown a man’s face exactly where his asshole should be.

The Californication and X Files star spoke about an ’18 month ordeal’, which has resulted in a limit to his sex life and an inability to sit down comfortably for more than fifteen minutes. 
“You can imagine how difficult it is to drive anywhere, let alone take a flight,” said Duchovny.

It started out like a mole, a little pimple really. Nothing more. But then as time went by it grew and grew and there were hairs and teeth, nose, chin, lips and it began to speak after a while.

What did it say?

Nothing worth listening to. Just endless complaints. “It’s dark. Scratch my nose! What the hell have you been eating?” That sort of thing. Late at night we’d have some long conversations, but even then I realised that my ass was trying subtly to undermine me.

How?

Just making comments. Criticisms. My ass is really passive aggressive. “Do what you like,” he’d say, but I knew what he meant. And then during sex – and I used to have a lot of sex – anyway during sex, he’d start shouting “Giddy up” and “Hi Ho Silver” or singing songs from Les Misérables.

Is there a cure?

No. It can be treated, but not cured. I don’t actually want to do anything. I am giving this interview today because I want to bring to people’s attention this problem. Over 534,00 men every year have a human face growing where their asshole should be. And that’s just in Los Angeles.

So what does the future hold?

Well, it turns out that my ass has a wonderful singing voice, so we’re currently recording and as we’re both huge fans of Nick Cave, we are going to be releasing a Nick Cave tribute album very soon.


David Duchovny’s ass’ debut album The Mercy Seat will be released next month on iTunes.