BOB DYLAN DISOWNS HIS SON

HOLLYWOOD – Bob Dylan today disowned his son George Zimmerman, following the news that Zimmerman was painting confederate flags for a ‘Muslim free’ gun shop owner.

The folk singer and song writer Bob Dylan had kept silent about his son, throughout his trial for the murder of Trayvon Martin in 2012. Dylan watchers said that Dylan’s silence was an attempt to distance himself from his progeny.

Leonard Cohen when asked stated:

I didn’t know they were related. I know Bob’s real name is Zimmerman, but I don’t recall him having a son called George. But then again I haven’t seen him in a long time.

Others ridiculed the idea that Bob Dylan should say anything about George Zimmerman. Bruce Springsteen told the Studio Exec:

Why should he come out and talk about it? George Zimmerman has nothing to do with him.

But filmmaker Spike Lee argued that Dylan’s first duty was to combat racism in all its forms:

The answer Mr. Dylan is not ‘blowing in the wind’, the answer is to be forthright and complete in your condemnation of your son’s actions.

The Oldboy director went on to give out the addresses of several old people who had vaguely similar names.

However, George Zimmerman’s most recent behavior – selling paintings of confederate flags to a ‘Muslim free’ gun shop owner – seems to have been a step too far for Dylan who told Studio Exec:

George Zimmerman is NOT my son. Do you understand? Now? Finally? Jesus Christ. And now look you’ve made me curse.

George Zimmerman was unavailable for comment.

 

MATTHEW BRODERICK: ‘I’M KILLING OFF BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN’

HOLLYWOOD – Matthew Broderick has finally ended years of speculation and admitted that Bruce Springsteen is a fictional character he has been playing on and off for decades.

In an exclusive interview, Bueller told the Studio Exec:

It’s all started when I guest starred on Taxi and Andy Kaufman and I got gassing. He was finishing a stint as a Welsh actor he concocted. I can’t remember the name, Richard … something. Anyway it seemed like a fun piece of performance art, to blow off steam between movies, so I invented the ‘Boss’.

Are you killing off the character completely?

Yeah man I think it’s time. These world tours, Jesus, it’s exhausting, especially when you can feel that the joke just isn’t funny anymore. I mean, back when I wrote and recorded Born to Run, it was just a silly jape to flesh out the character, and I’m really glad people bought into it but I think it’s run it’s course. Satirical albums like Born in the USA, sure I could knock out one of those in an afternoon for my own amusement but it’s just become a bit of a day job.

So what are you going to do with all this free time?

I’d like to just be a straight actor now I think. Movies like Godzilla, which were companion pieces to the Springsteen project were also a fun diversion but I think I want to get away from that kind of surrealist comedy thing. The beast as the manifestation of the comedy persona running rampant etc. I’m done with it. I think I might ditch my other characters too.

Surely you’ll keep some of the old favorites?

No, clean slate I think. It’s time to put the Michael J Fox character to bed too. I mean it got dark for a while there. And as much as the character fits like a sock I’ve just ran out of places to take him. As for Val Kilmer, I just can’t take another day in that facial prosthetic, besides, he never really took off anyway; a lot of people simply don’t find the character funny.

Any new ‘straight’ projects lined up?

Not until I complete my Magnum P.I. contract; apparently there was some small print about a TV movie that we never got around to in the 80’s, so for a one off I’m putting the old ‘tache back on and doing the old Tom Selleck routine. Just one more job and I’m out.

Magnum P.I. will be released in 2016.