CAPTAIN MARVEL IS A WOMAN!?

The trailer dropped for the latest Marvel movie and the shock revelation was the identity of Captain Marvel: Brie Larson – a woman!

The fan children exploded today as the new trailer for Captain Marvel revealed that the superhero is actually a woman.

One fan told us:

It’s crazy. A total betrayal of the comic books I haven’t read. First they come for the Ghostbusters and I spoke out. Then they came for the Oceans films and I didn’t say anything because I wasn’t that bothered. But now they’re coming for Marvel movies as well. It’s ridiculous. I remember when the only role for women in comic book films was to be rescued or have a great looking ass in leather pants. Now this!

But didn’t you know Brie Larson was starring in the film?

I thought he was some French dude!

But the character has always been female.

Bull… has it?

Yes. 

Oh.

Actually I don’t know. Maybe Jude Law is Captain Marvel.

Aha!

Captain Marvel will be in theatres in 2019.

REVIEW – FREE FIRE

REVIEW – FREE FIRE: It’s like Reservoir Dogs if they hadn’t left the bank.

Some films have great shoot outs. Sergio Leone and Quentin Tarantino, John Woo turns it up to eleven. The Wild Bunch is probably the acme. But Free Fire is basically just the shoot out. When a gun deal goes wrong between a bunch of Irish terrorists and a South African arms dealer, a free for all ensues. The causus belli actually has nothing to do with the deal. Cillian Murphy, Sharlto Copley, Sam Riley, Jack Reynor, Brie Larson, Armie Hammer, Michael Smiley, Patrick Bergin and Babou Ceesay are all good. The dialogue by Amy Jump is hilarious and tastes of cement and gun powder.

Ben Wheatley has quietly stacked up quite a resume. From his dark gothic Kill List to the comic verve of Sightseers. Free Fire might not have made the biggest commercial splash on its release, but it is destined to cult classic status. Go see it.

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REVIEW – KONG: SKULL ISLAND

REVIEW – KONG: SKULL ISLAND –  Loki and Captain Marvel explore Peter Jackson land but discover that the main enemy might be comparisons with Apocalypse Now.

For big dumb fun, you might do no worse than a big dumb movie. Everyone’s favorite monkey returns with Kong: Skull Island, a visually sumptuous and occasionally darkly witty piece of entertainment. Jordan Vogt-Roberts does a great job of orchestrating the various action scenes, which feature a nice variety of over-sized creatures emerging from the depths of the hollow earth.

Having had such a good time, it seems churlish to wish that equal care could have been exerted to make the characters similarly life-like. Alas Brie Larson‘s photo-journalist has as much three dimensionality as a character from Cluedo. She’s a photographer, with a camera and she takes pictures ALL the time. The only character to go further than cardboard is John C. Reilly’s Hell in the Pacific leftover. He’s funny and occasionally exhibits the only emotion that isn’t simply awe or terror.

This is a promising beginning to a new monster universe which is set to include Godzilla. Hopefully, it will stave off the beginning of any new or original idea for some more years to come.

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BRIE LARSON DENIES CHEESE RUMORS

HOLLYWOOD – Oscar winning actress Brie Larson today denied long-running rumors about cheese.

Skull Island and Room actress, Brie Larson sat down with us today to clear up an on-going rumor about cheese. Speaking EXCLUSIVELY with the Studio Exec, she had this to say:

I am not named after a type of cheese. My full name is Brianna. So Brie for short. Nothing to do with the French cheese. In fact, my real name is actually Brianna Desaulniers, if you really want to know.

Do you have a middle name?

Yes I do.

What is it?

I’m not saying.

Is your full name actually Brianna Gorgonzola Desaulniers?

You goddamned bastard.

Captain Marvel will be released in 2018.

THE STUDIO EXEC OSCAR PREDICTIONS 100 PERCENT EXACT

HOLLYWOOD – Yesterday we made our Oscar predictions and today we triumph in our 100 percent success rate.

The Oscars 2016 – alternatively known as the Academy Awards of OSCARS – are over and the Studio Exec having made his predictions (click here for that) has seen them confirmed 100%.

Here if anyone is still interested is

Best Picture

Who we predicted to Win: Spotlight

Who Did Win: Spotlight

Best Director 

Who we predicted to Win: Alejandro G. Iñárritu

Who Did Win: Alejandro G. Iñárritu

Best Actor

Who we predicted to Win: Leonardo diCaprio

Who Did Win: Leonardo diCaprio

Best Actress

Who we predicted to Win: Brie Larson – Room

Who Did Win: Brie Larson

Best Supporting Actor

Who we predicted to Win: Mark Rylance – Bridge of Spies

Who Did Win: Mark Rylance

Best Supporting Actress

Who we predicted to Win: Alicia Vikander – The Danish Girl

Who Did Win: Alicia Vikander

Best Adapted Screenplay

Who we predicted to Win: The Big Short

Who Did Win: The Big Short

Best Original Screenplay

Who we predicted to Win: Spotlight

Who Did Win: Spotlight

Best Animated Feature

Who we predicted to Win: Inside Out

Who Did Win: Inside Out

Best Foreign Feature

Who we predicted to Win: Son of Saul

Who Did Win: Son of Saul

Best Documentary Feature

Who we predicted to Win: Amy

Who Did Win: Amy

Best Cinematography

Who we predicted to Win: Emmanuel Lubezki – The Revenant

Who Did Win: Emmanuel Lubezki

Best Music

Who we predicted to Win: Ennio Morricone

Who Did Win: Ennio Morricone

Costume Design

Don’t give a shit

Film Editing

What?

Make up and Hair Design

Pffffffffft.

Production Design

Yes.

Sounding editing, Visual Effects, Animated Short, Documentary Short, Short Short

Nope. Mad Max Fury Road. I think. I don’t know.

For more Oscars Click HERE.

ROOM – REVIEW

ROOM – REVIEW – Brie Larson stars as a mother who must look after her child in almost unimaginable circumstances.

I guess it’s hard to write a review of a film like this when generally what you do is crack wise about comic book movies and try your best to get sued by Spike Lee. Brie Larson’s new film is a serious drama that takes the darkest possible situation and yet does so in such a way as to deal with the human costs. This is not the sort of maudlin wallowing in misery that can sometimes pass for realism. If anything it is about how whatever you experience becomes normal if you experience it for long enough.

Jack (Jacob Tremblay) and his mother live in a small room with only a skylight and a locked door. For Jack this is his entire world and his mother has told him stories that help him cope with that world. But his mother is undergoing a terrible ordeal. She was kidnapped seven years ago and her captor rapes her on a regular basis. Jack is the product of this rape, but is also all that is good in her world and she fiercely protects him and tries to figure out a way of getting him out. Especially because as he is getting older he is becoming more vulnerable to the attentions of Old Nick, the man who brings the food and who he must remain hidden from.

Directed by Lenny Abrahamson and written by Emma Donoghue adapted from her own novel, Room shifts towards the halfway mark. It eschews the more thriller-ish angle to look at the human consequences of suffering and how we shift our own reality to protect ourselves. There are a couple of false notes, particularly in the second half of the film, but overall this is a drama that takes its subject seriously. And has forced me to take this film seriously.

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