BRYAN CRANSTON IS THE NEW DOCTOR WHO

LONDON – After much speculation, the BBC are due to announce that Breaking Bad star Bryan Cranston will replace Peter Capaldi as the lead in Doctor Who.

“We looked at many potential candidates,” said the new showrunner, Chris Chibnall.

Michael Caine expressed an interest but no company would insure him and for a while we toyed with the idea of Jean Dujardin but discovered to our surprise that he was French. Personally I like the idea of a European doctor but under British law everyone who plays the role must be able to trace their English heritage back to Alfred The Great. Fortunately we discovered a clause which allows an American born Doctor as long as his name is Bryan Cranston.

Chibnall went on to say that Cranston was never considered for the part until a late night brainstorming session in March.

We were throwing around ideas about how the regeneration would work and couldn’t figure it out. Then somebody mentioned Breaking Bad and what a great show it was and suddenly it clicked. What if Walter White was a Time Lord? He could use the Tardis as a mobile meth lab, he already has an assistant in the shape of Jesse Pinkman and they could both travel in time, doing drug deals and murdering their rivals. I mean the series practically writes itself!

Chibnall immediately got in touch with Breaking Bad creator Vince Gilligan to ask his advice:

Vince gave me some great tips. Obviously I can’t reveal what will happen but it’s going to blow people’s minds. What I will say though is that if you’ve ever wondered what Gus Fring/The Master would look like if he was resurrected from the dead using Dalek DNA, then you’re in for a treat.

Asked what the BBC’s reaction was to the idea of turning their flagship family show into a violent crime drama, Chibnall laughed:

A few concerns were raised in a meeting but then I scratched some figures down on a piece of paper estimating how much money they could make by syndicating the show. 24 hours later, they gave me 10 million pounds and bought me a yacht.

The 13th Doctor will be revealed on Sunday

SCRIPT LEAK:BILL & TED 3

 
The year is 2020. Bill and Ted are the biggest band on the planet. Statues have been built in their honour and cities named after them. Mount Rushmore has been re-sculpted with their faces and their philosophy of ‘Be excellent to each other’ is the basis for the dominant global religion.

Int: The Rufus Hotel Penthouse.
 
The suite is a wreck. Alcohol bottles, room service trolleys, broken TVs, exotic animals and various drug paraphernalia litter the room. Ted is lying on the bed wearing shades surround by nude models. He removes a cigarette from a packet.
 

Ted

 
Hendrix. Light!
 
A monkey wearing a fez bounds onto the bed and lights Ted’s cigarette.
 
Ted
 
 Bill!
 
Bill
 
 What,dude?
 
Ted
 
Where are you dude?
 
Bill
 
I’m cooking dude. What do you want?
 
Ted drags himself out of bed, wanders through the suite and opens the door to the next room. Inside is a meth lab and two people in Hazamat suits.
 
Ted
 
Hey dude. We’re supposed to be giving a speech to the United Nations in an hour.
 
Bill
 
I like totally forgot dude. Big John, can you finish up here?
 
The other person in the Hazmat suit nods his head. Bill and Ted leave the lab and Ted removes his suit.
 
Ted
 
Hey dude. I just have to use the bathroom first.
 
Ted tries to open the bathroom door but it’s locked.
 
 
Ted
 
Hey Bill, I can’t open the door.
 
Bill
 
Try forcing it,dude.
 
Ted runs at the door but it doesn’t open.
 
Ted
 
Hey Bill. Give me a hand dude.
 
Bill and Ted both run at the bathroom door and it bursts open. Inside is a naked man in the bathtub covered in blood with a bullet in his head.
 
Bill & Ted
 
Argh!
Ted
 
Wait. That’s big John.
Bill
 
That can’t be big John we just left him in the Meth La….
 
Bill and Ted turn around and see a figure in a Hazmat suit. He removes his helmet. It’s Bryan Cranston
 
Cranston
 
Nobody tries to muscle in on my turf.
 
Cranston pulls out two guns.
 
 
Bill & Ted
 
Bogus.
 
Cranston shoots Bill and Ted repeatedly and they slump to the floor. He removes his mobile phone and makes a call. Bill and Ted’s Telephone box time machine appears in the bathroom and Cranston steps into it.
 
Cranston
 
Wyld Stallions…
 
 
Bill and Ted are groaning in agony on the floor. Cranston shoots them again
 
Cranston
 
Ruled!
 
 
FIN
 

BREAKING BAD ALTERNATE ENDING 2

breaking bad












The second instalment of our Breaking Bad alternate ending series. Choose which one you prefer.


Breaking Bad Alternate Ending II

Having returned to his home with a machine gun, Walter White is met first by a disbelieving neighbour, but he is reckless and now at his wit’s end. He drives out to Uncle Jack’s hide out and works out a super clever plan about how to free Jesse, persuade Jesse to help him and kill Todd and the Nazis using a super clever poison bomb. Meanwhile at Marie’s house, Marie opens the door to find Hank! With the Nazis dead, Mike and Gustav Fring turn up and congratulate Walter. Walter can’t believe it but Hank and Marie also turn up as does Walt’s doctor from the first episode. 

‘You died of cancer,’ the doctor explains. ‘Cancer’s a deadly disease, not a plot device. It kills people without worrying about narrative logic, and it certainly doesn’t give you five seasons to get things done. No, you died surprisingly quickly.’
‘But then…’ says Walt, indicating the carnage around him and his family and Jesse.

‘All this has been a dream,’ the doctor says. ‘A kind of limbo.’
Jack Shepherd and his father turn up with Bobby Ewing, whose hair is still wet from the shower and they lead a now babbling Walt into Michael Langford’s Pearly Gates.

BREAKING BAD ALTERNATE ENDING 1

breaking bad









The show that everyone can’t and won’t stop taking about will end forever (probably) in a few days and the people of the world will have a free hour slot in their week to work on that cure for the common cold or find a new series to become addicted to.

The Studio Exec himself will be distraught when Breaking Bad finally dismantles it’s meth lab because we’ll have nothing left to write about. Hell, we’ll be forced to write stupid articles about Tom Hanks‘ ass hair or something. Actually that’s not a bad premise for a piece but we’ll leave that for another day.

So in the spirit of milking a teat until it’s bone dry over the next few days we’ll be posting various alternate endings to the series.

Will White and Pinkman finally consummate their relationship?

Will Skylar and Marie do a Thelma and Louise?

Will Hank be resurrected a 1000 years in the future to fight crime in a world inhabited by Dog Men?

Let’s find out shall we?

Breaking Bad Alternate Ending 1

Walter returns from exile with an oversized machine gun to take revenge on everyone he has ever met in his entire life. First he visits the home of the kid who stole his marbles in kindergarten and sprays him with lead and moves on to pop caps in the asses of various people who’ve done him wrong.
The Gym teacher who made him play football in his pants, a mail man who delivered his copy of MAD magazine to the wrong address and a bunch of prissy girls who wouldn’t let him finger them behind the science lab. 

With a spring in his step and a glint in his eye he shoots those people he started the company with who everyone had forgotten about until they appeared as a convenient plot device in the last episode. Then Marie for being generally sour faced. Eventually he strolls into Uncle Jacks yard carrying an extra large pepperoni , riddles everyone there with bullets, except for Todd who he kills with a crude but efficient meth bomb which makes the child-killing psycho’s face melt like a Nazi opening the Ark of the Covenant. 

Eventually Walt ends up in a stand off with Pinkman who shoots him several times in the chest. Unfortunately for Jesse after months of malnourishment he decides to grab a slice of the pepperoni before riding off into the sunset only to discover it has been laced with Ricin . Pinkman’s brains start to drip from his nose and he falls to the ground foaming at the mouth. The last camera shot is of Walt and Jesse laying on the ground side by side dying. They both say sorry and die in each others arms. 

Fade to Black.

Much crying ensues.

BREAKING BAD WHO’S WHO

NEW MEXICO – Breaking Bad has hoisted itself to ‘the best thing on television’ shelf with an explosive final season that still has some way to go yet.

But many viewers have been left confused or will have only decided to start watching now that everyone is talking about it so here is our Studio Exec Who’s Who of all episodes up until episode 14 of Season 4. Spoilers included. 
So …

  • Walter White is this chemistry teacher with cancer who decides to deal meth, uses an old student to help him, cooks and sells meth, watches a girl die without intervening, murders some people, has someone else murder some people, poisons a kid, lies to his family, abuses his wife, coerces his wife into helping him, destroys his family, has his brother-in-law (who is a DEA officer) killed, has his erstwhile partner and pals around with Nazis.
  • Skyler White (Walter’s wife) is the villain of the piece. 

Breaking Bad screens on AMC or is available for illegal download pretty much anywhere. 

BREAKING BAD SPIN-OFF: SMILER SKYLER A GO

NEW MEXICO – Following the news earlier today that AMC have just green lit Better Call Saul comes the unexpected news that a second Breaking Bad spin off Smiler Skyler is also in the works. 

Anna Gunn will star in the prequel as Skyler White, Walter’s (Bryan Cranston) long suffering wife and will show her as a savvy business woman and home maker, before Walt got in the meth cooking business. The official studio synopsis reads:

Skyler White is an intelligent woman with a big heart and a fierce need to protect her family, through thick and thin. Watch as she dreams of one day owning a car wash. Gasp as she goes with Walt to Walt Jr’s PTA meetings. Laugh as she and Walter go to Hank and Marie’s house dressed as the Addams Family. No matter what life throws at them, this was a happier time… when Skyler smiled.

Fans have greeted the news with weak displays of half hearted okayishness and Vince Gilligan has denied any involvement.

Smiler Skyler will air early in 2014. 

BREAKING BAD SPIN-OFF ‘FRING’ ANNOUNCED














HOLLYWOOD Breaking Bad creator Vince Gilligan confirmed this morning that he is currently writing a spin-off to the popular AMC show based on the character of deceased Crystal Meth kingpin Gustavo Fring.

“I wanted to do something different” said an animated Gilligan

But every time I sat down to write I kept thinking about Gustavo and what a great character he was. Originally I thought about going down the science fiction road. His disembodied head would be reanimated by a mad scientist who wants to take over the Meth business Walt leaves behind when he is taken up by the Aliens in the mother ship at the end of Breaking Bad. The scientists aim was for Fring’s head to act in an advisory capacity but of course, Gus being Gus, he eventually ends up running the show. I liked the idea but the more I wrote the more I realised I was going to need a 200 million dollar budget to make it work and I wanted to work on a smaller scale. It was then I decided to do a prequel and base the show on the adventures of a young Gustavo and how he first got into the chicken and drugs business.

Asked whether Giancarlo Esposito would be reprising his role Gilligan smiled.

“There’s no Gustavo Fring without Giancarlo”said Gilligan. 

It’s his role and it wouldn’t be the same without him but that doesn’t mean he is the only actor we have in mind. Giancarlo could get away with playing the character in his 30’s and beyond but for the flashback scenes of him as a much younger man we need another guy and we think we’ve found the perfect candidate. Zac Efron. Now I know some will consider that to be a controversial choice but let me put it this way. Giancarlo is an African American born in Denmark and Gus is from Chile so there is no reason why a white guy from California can’t also play him. Zac is very talented he’s spent the last month working in a KFC to prepare for the role and has already been promoted to the fries section. 

Episode one of ‘Fring’ is due to air on AMC in 2015

BREAKING BAD FINALE WRITTEN BY LOST TEAM

NEW MEXICO – As everyone waits out the last days before Breaking Bad finally returns with its concluding episodes, show runner Vince Gilligan has dropped a bomb shell that has rocked the world of Walter White and Jesse Pinkman fans everywhere.
Gilligan told Studio Exec exclusively:

We were having a lot of trouble working out the ending and there was a hell of a lot of pressure on us, both from AMC and the fans, and most of all from ourselves. So I thought why not call in the experts. So I phoned up the Lost team who had such a good job writing the series finale to J.J. Abrams series. 

Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse were helicoptered into the writer’s room where they were given a white board and a large bag of M&Ms. 

DL: Of course we were nervous. Breaking Bad is a big cultural thing now and it has a huge and enthusiastic fan base. But if I learned one thing from my experience on Prometheus it was… If I learned…. There was this one thing I learned that I said I’d never do again. Nope it’s gone. 

CC: Vince took us in a room and said to us the one thing I don’t want you to do is make them all day and the whole thing was a big dream. Me and Damon just looked at each other. And I don’t want to give anything away, but we did completely ignore Vince.


The concluding episode of Breaking Bad airs on AMC, beginning August 11, 2013.