LONDON – After much speculation, the BBC are due to announce that Breaking Bad star Bryan Cranston will replace Peter Capaldi as the lead in Doctor Who.

“We looked at many potential candidates,” said the new showrunner, Chris Chibnall.

Michael Caine expressed an interest but no company would insure him and for a while we toyed with the idea of Jean Dujardin but discovered to our surprise that he was French. Personally I like the idea of a European doctor but under British law everyone who plays the role must be able to trace their English heritage back to Alfred The Great. Fortunately we discovered a clause which allows an American born Doctor as long as his name is Bryan Cranston.

Chibnall went on to say that Cranston was never considered for the part until a late night brainstorming session in March.

We were throwing around ideas about how the regeneration would work and couldn’t figure it out. Then somebody mentioned Breaking Bad and what a great show it was and suddenly it clicked. What if Walter White was a Time Lord? He could use the Tardis as a mobile meth lab, he already has an assistant in the shape of Jesse Pinkman and they could both travel in time, doing drug deals and murdering their rivals. I mean the series practically writes itself!

Chibnall immediately got in touch with Breaking Bad creator Vince Gilligan to ask his advice:

Vince gave me some great tips. Obviously I can’t reveal what will happen but it’s going to blow people’s minds. What I will say though is that if you’ve ever wondered what Gus Fring/The Master would look like if he was resurrected from the dead using Dalek DNA, then you’re in for a treat.

Asked what the BBC’s reaction was to the idea of turning their flagship family show into a violent crime drama, Chibnall laughed:

A few concerns were raised in a meeting but then I scratched some figures down on a piece of paper estimating how much money they could make by syndicating the show. 24 hours later, they gave me 10 million pounds and bought me a yacht.

The 13th Doctor will be revealed on Sunday


The year is 2020. Bill and Ted are the biggest band on the planet. Statues have been built in their honour and cities named after them. Mount Rushmore has been re-sculpted with their faces and their philosophy of ‘Be excellent to each other’ is the basis for the dominant global religion.

Int: The Rufus Hotel Penthouse.
The suite is a wreck. Alcohol bottles, room service trolleys, broken TVs, exotic animals and various drug paraphernalia litter the room. Ted is lying on the bed wearing shades surround by nude models. He removes a cigarette from a packet.


Hendrix. Light!
A monkey wearing a fez bounds onto the bed and lights Ted’s cigarette.
Where are you dude?
I’m cooking dude. What do you want?
Ted drags himself out of bed, wanders through the suite and opens the door to the next room. Inside is a meth lab and two people in Hazamat suits.
Hey dude. We’re supposed to be giving a speech to the United Nations in an hour.
I like totally forgot dude. Big John, can you finish up here?
The other person in the Hazmat suit nods his head. Bill and Ted leave the lab and Ted removes his suit.
Hey dude. I just have to use the bathroom first.
Ted tries to open the bathroom door but it’s locked.
Hey Bill, I can’t open the door.
Try forcing it,dude.
Ted runs at the door but it doesn’t open.
Hey Bill. Give me a hand dude.
Bill and Ted both run at the bathroom door and it bursts open. Inside is a naked man in the bathtub covered in blood with a bullet in his head.
Bill & Ted
Wait. That’s big John.
That can’t be big John we just left him in the Meth La….
Bill and Ted turn around and see a figure in a Hazmat suit. He removes his helmet. It’s Bryan Cranston
Nobody tries to muscle in on my turf.
Cranston pulls out two guns.
Bill & Ted
Cranston shoots Bill and Ted repeatedly and they slump to the floor. He removes his mobile phone and makes a call. Bill and Ted’s Telephone box time machine appears in the bathroom and Cranston steps into it.
Wyld Stallions…
Bill and Ted are groaning in agony on the floor. Cranston shoots them again