TOMMY LEE JONES TO STAR IN AND DIRECT ‘ARE YOU BEING SERVED?’

HOLLYWOOD – Tommy Lee Jones to write, direct and star in Are You Being Served?

Veteran actor and No Country for Old Men star Tommy Lee Jones will finally bring his dream project to the screen next year, a Hollywood remake of BBC sitcom Are You Being Served? 

Based on the Jeremy Lloyd and David Croft Seventies series, Tommy Lee Jones’ new film is set in the fictional Los Angeles department store of Grace Brothers. Here the flirty staff have to deal with a variety of eccentric customers. Popping by the Studio Exec bungalow, Jones explained his vision:

I have always been a fan of the original British series. The elaborate double entendres and the farcical situations and in particular Mrs. Slocombe’s pussy.

And you are acting in the film as well? 

I myself shall play the role of Captain Peacock and Michael Shannon has kindly agreed to show his face as Mr. Humphries. Cameron Diaz wanted to play Mrs. Slocombe but I said no, because she is not in my honest opinion what I’d call a ‘good actress’.  Emma Thompson will handle the pussy jokes, if’n we can sober her up in time. Ha ha. That was a joke.

How do you respond to critics who say you can’t play comedy?

I ask them if they have had the opportunity to view my hilarious mugging in Natural Born Killers, or my Two Face in the much underrated Batman film, I forget which one… but it was comedy genius.

Mila Kunis will play Shirley Brahms and Jack Black will play Cuthbert Rumbold. Bradley Cooper will continue his collaboration with Jones, playing the womanizing salesman Dick Lucas.

Are You Being Served? comes out in 2022.

MARK WAHLBERG AND BRADLEY COOPER TEAM UP FOR CHARLIE’S ANGELS REMAKE

HOLLYWOOD – Mark Wahlberg and Bradley Cooper to star in Charlie’s Angels remake.

Mark Wahlberg and Oscar-nominated Bradley Cooper are in early talks to topline Sony’s Charlie’s Angels reboot. Elizabeth Banks will direct. The film will be released June 7, 2019.

Based on the original 1976-1981 television series, starring Kate Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Jaclyn Smith, Charlie’s Angels first hit the big screen in 2000, with Cameron Diaz, Drew Barrymore and Lucy Liu starring as the crime-fighting trio working at a private detective agency for the mysterious, unseen Charlie Townsend. The film went on to make $264M at the box office and spun the 2003 sequel Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle, which pulled in $259M worldwide.

Wahlberg and Cooper are famous for being men but Banks says that she doesn’t see this as a problem.

We get too hung up on this girl movie men movie thing. First off Charlie’s Angels is ripe for a re-imagining. A powerful woman takes over and these bimbo guys have to fight the bad guys. Or girls. I mean, who cares? This film will explore gender and action.

James Cameron welcomed the news.

It’s about time we had more films with men in them. That Patty Jenkins is such a pain.

Charlie’s Angels will be released in 2019.

REVIEW – GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY VOL. 2

REVIEW – GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY VOL. 2 – Parks and Recreations goes interstellar.

I enjoyed Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2. It’s funny. Light. It’s like an episode of a real good comedy. One where the story doesn’t really matter that much. It tried to get a bit mushy at the end, but I don’t know what that was all about. Sylvester Stallone, Kurt Russell and David Hasselfoff are in it. So is Michael ‘Henry the Portrait of a Serial Killer’ Rooker and in one scene he reprises his early role.

Star Lord (Chris Pratt) returns with his pals Gamora, played by Zoe Saldana, Drax, played by Dave Bautista. Bradley Cooper voices Rocket. The latter get all the others into trouble for some mysterious reason called ‘plot’. Somewhere along the line Chris Pratt’s dad turns up and when we find out he lives on a planet called Ego we know things aren’t going to go smoothly.

We also have Baby Groot (Vin Diesel) who we’re supposed to adore. And for the most part we did, though it would have been better if he died in ever film like South Park: ‘Oh my God! They killed Groot!’

For more Reviews, Click Here.

JOY – REVIEW

JOY – REVIEW: Katniss Everdeen invents a mop.

Jennifer Lawrence stars as Katniss ‘Joy’ Everdeen. She lives in a Roald Dahl household with her mother in bed watching soap operas, her dad Robert de Niro in the basement with her ex-husband following his latest breakup, and her grandmother and daughter. Everyone is a bit rubbish and eccentric for about the first half hour to show us how wonderful Joy is. Everything in this film is manipulative and obvious and inept. Her name is Joy and her situation initially not so happy, so most of us pick up the irony but O. Russell has to have someone say ‘You’re name is Joy? well, you’re not very joyful today!’ on the only day she ever goes to work  in the movie! Joy invents a mop in one of those Newtonian moments of Eureka! and she scrawls an idea – imagine Mozart in Amadeus writing the Requiem but via the Hudsucker Proxy – in crayon. Her invention and her drive is everything and we’re supposed to root for her like this is some amazing thing – a miracle mop. It’s a f*cking mop. We’re meant to be bowled over by the ordinariness that the film maker is deigning to portray as if it were up there with the painting of the Sistine Chapel. When Joy gets her big break to sell her invention on QVC – a TV channel designed to separate the lonely, gullible and immobile from their money – it’s filmed as some kind of symphonic coming together of all that is good and right about America – capitalism, guts and verve! O. Russell films it like Oliver Stone would film the first Doors concert, with Bradley Cooper Svengali-ing from the sidelines. What most of us would dismiss as banal, trash, O. Russell wants us to reconsider from a perspective of empowerment and … I can’t be bothered. It’s a f*cking mop.

Despite selling hundreds of thousands of mops, her family are a bunch of dumb asses and Joy is none too savvy in the business line, always calling the lawyers a few days to late and reading the contract only after she’s signed it, so there’s a whole bunch of stuff about patents and problems with the suppliers which is exactly as boring as it sounds. Although O. Russell does give us a shot of her firing a gun so he can use it in the trailer (and for no other reason). O. Russell does this all the time. The effect is more important than the story and so he throws them at us. The tricksy narrative, the dream sequences, the loud characters that look like Whose Line is it Anyway contestants doing ‘Ordinary’, everything, anything to get away from the fact that this is an incredibly uninteresting story. And it’s inept. When Joy’s sister returns from California at the same time as a funeral (why?), at the same time that her father is expositioning Joy at the funeral that her sister is coming back from California and what she did there, her sister parks at the cemetery, takes her suitcase out of the car and carries the suitcase through the cemetery so we can remember (via the suitcase) that she’s been on a trip to California – with a suitcase. It’s the dumbest visual story telling ever. As Robert de Niro tells us what the suitcase is about. What the f*ck? It’s about a mop. Everything’s about a mop. And money. And who gives a shit.

For more Reviews, Click Here.

WORLD BEGS HOLLYWOOD STUDIOS TO MAKE MORE MOVIES ABOUT CHEFS

HOLLYWOOD – The entire world has issued a plea to all the major Hollywood studios to please make more movies about chefs.

The plea came with tension in the Middle East rising, a refugee crisis heading into winter and fears of terrorism reaching epidemic proportions with a subsequent rise in racist attacks. The whole world joined together and for once forgot its differences as everybody shouted in one voice: ‘More films about chefs please, Hollywood!’ The Secretary General of the UN Ban Ki-moon addressing the General Assembly said:

In this time of crisis what the world needs is some more dramatic comedies – dramedies if you will – about top flight chefs who are a bit arrogant and lose sight of what they do but are also artists when it comes down to it and come up trumps at the end, reconciling with a son or daughter or someone.

Despite tensions between Russia and Turkey President Vladimir Putin and Tayyip Erdogan issued a joint statement to all studios to make something else ‘like Jon Favreau’s Chef, which was a delight.’

Bradley Cooper responded instantly to the crisis, rolling up his sleeves and offering to do a sequel to Burnt. He spoke with the Studio Exec EXCLUSIVELY in the special Studio Exec kitchens:

I think in this time when so many people are losing their lives, over four million people have been displaced by the Syrian civil war alone, what everyone really wants to see is an acerbic but charismatic perfectionist, a temperamental genius who has gone to the wall because of drugs and alcohol or just arrogance and then comes back and redeems himself by cooking really nice food for a bunch of rich bastards. I think that is what the children who are dying under the bombs would really want us to be doing.

President Obama has told Congress that he wants a bill on his desk by Monday morning that will force the studios to begin making a minimum of six films about chefs every calendar year. But Universal has already announce a remake of 2007 Catherine Zeta Jones comedy No Reservations and Pixar are in talks to do a sequel to Ratatouille.

Burnt is currently in theatres.

AMERICAN SNIPER BABY STARS IN PARANORMAL ACTIVITY: THE GHOST DIMENSION

HOLLYWOOD – American Sniper baby Jandapus Haiti is the breakout star of Paranormal Activity: The Ghost Dimension.

Despite the fact Bradley Cooper picked up the Oscar nomination for his role as real life Navy Seal Chris Kyle, many agree that the true star of Clint Eastwood’s Iraq War drama American Sniper was actually Jandapus Haiti, the baby who stole America’s hearts and is now starring in the next installment of Paranormal Activity.

Jandapus Haiti only got the role in American Sniper at the last minute when the baby booked for the role got scarlet fever and had to go to hospital. Jandapus was luckily at hand taking part in a local voodoo ceremony – some say black magic but the difference is superficial – and was rushed to the set and into the waiting hands of Bradley Cooper, best known as Face from The A-Team.

Cooper described the scene to the Studio Exec EXCLUSIVELY:

At first it freaked me out. Jandapus looks and feels like a fake baby, but he’s actually got that Benjamin Button thing, so he’s not only real, but really, in terms of lived experience, a very old man. He talks and everything. Sounds a bit like Tom Waits. He told some stories about when he was in Chile at the time of the Pinochet Coup… Man he did things, he did bad things. But you know, I’ve worked with Jennifer Lawrence on a number of occasions so I was ready for anything.

Details are sketchy about the nature of his role in Paranormal Activity: The Ghost Dimension, but Jandapus said he was ‘looking forward to getting myself out there’:

When you look the way I look you’re going to get typecast. The American Sniper thing was a fluke. Usually I’m demon baby, or possessed child, or something more along those lines. Paranormal Activity will be a return to my typical genre but it is a much bigger stage now. I mean the things I did before were like private parties and such.

What do you knows about the story of Paranormal Activity: The Ghost Dimension?

To begin with the title was going to be Paranormal Activity: the Infancy, which perhaps also highlights what a central role my character plays, but then they changed it to the Ghost Dimension. I’ll be Gary, the youngest member of the Hunter family. Things are going all right, but apparently there’s a demon in the house and gets who gets possessed? You got it. The good thing is as I need to do a possessed demon voice, it gives me an excuse to start smoking cigarettes again. I’ve been restricting myself to cigars lately.

Paranormal Activity: The Ghost Dimension is currently in theaters.

DAVID O. RUSSELL RECASTS THE FIGHTER

HOLLYWOOD – In his continuing effort to tinker with his back catalog, David O. Russell is this week to release a digitally recast version of The Fighter.

The new version of The Fighter will feature Robert deNiro, Bradley Cooper and Jennifer Lawrence. Jennifer Lawrence will play the part of Amy Adams, Robert deNiro that of Mark Wahlberg and Bradley Cooper will take on the role of the brother which won Christian Bale a much deserved Oscar. As previously reported, David O. Russell has already produced a critically acclaimed digitally recast version of Three Kings, which caused the New Yorker’s Anthony Lane to write cogently:

It’s like watching a George Clooney film, but with Bradley Cooper in it.

However, O. Russell is getting some blow back, specifically from his old actors who feel they have been unfairly replaced. Christian Bale screamed hoarsely down the phone to the Studio Exec EXCLUSIVELY:

 Oh yeah, well done! Recast me, get Bradley f*cking Cooper to play my part! You piece of sh*t. I’m a f*cking professional you f*cking nonce. I sh*t f*cks like you every f*cking day of the week. You globular arseh*le. And another thing don’t you *ucking dare th*nk about t*uching my fucking p*nts.

The Fighter Redux will be released this week.

Image courtesy of @ThePixelFactor.

DAVID O. RUSSELL DIGITALLY RECASTS THREE KINGS

HOLLYWOOD – Following the success of American Hustle and The Silver Linings Playbook, David O. Russell has announced that he is to digitally recast his old movies, beginning with Three Kings, with Bradley Cooper, Jennifer Lawrence and Robert deNiro.

Three Kings is expected to be only the first of several of Russell’s older works to get the treatment:

Spanking the Monkey and I Heart Huckabees are both films that I would love to see Bob, Bradley and Jen be a part of. They’re such great actors and now that I’ve got them digitally, who wouldn’t want them in your movie?

How did you get them digitally?

It’s a very technical process, but basically you just film them saying all the sounds in the phonetic alphabet and going through a routine of gestures and facial expressions. Was a time it would’ve taken years, but now we can do it in about half an hour. Jennifer Lawrence took seven minutes.

What about the ethics of replacing actors who have performed for you?

Oh, that isn’t a worry. They were paid for their work and if you want to see George Clooney in Three Kings, there’ll be old DVDs knocking around somewhere. But in this version it’s fresh faced Bradley Cooper and Jennifer Lawrence instead of Mark Wahlberg. How can you possibly object to that? Plus to create continuity I’m also going to do the Fighter with Jennifer taking over Wahlberg’s role and Bradley Cooper as Christian Bale’s part.

Three Kings: Redux will be released in 2016.

Image courtesy of @ThePixelFactor.

AMERICAN SNIPER: REVIEW

AMERICAN SNIPER: REVIEW – Bradley Cooper’s Hangover 4 takes a dour turn as it heads off to war in Iraq.

Clint Eastwood’s Iraq war drama based on the real life story of America’s ‘deadliest sniper’ Chris Kyle and based on his memoir is a confusing and weird film. As an initial character study it resembles last year’s Dallas Buyers Club in taking an unlikely Southern character and turning him into something like a hero. We first see Kyle as a sniper deployed in Iraq. On a roof top covering the advance of a platoon of marines, he is presented with an impossible choice. A woman and her ten year old son approach the platoon with apparent intent. Does Kyle shoot them to protect the platoon, or does he renege on his duty and put the platoon at risk? Flashback to the rest of his life up until this point.

Kyle grows up with a gun in his hand and bottle fed a stern Christian based (almost Manichean) morality. There are wolves, sheep and sheep dogs, his father tells him, with his belt on the table. Kyle is thus pre-molded for when he finds his vocation in the Navy SEALs elite squad. But Cooper’s performance elevates Kyle from some brainwashed grunt. He is a chivalrous old fashioned type who falls completely for Taya (Sienna Miller), a feisty young woman who already feels she’s been around the block once too often. They marry with the second Gulf War imminent and Kyle’s deployment almost certain. And so back to shooting children.

Eastwood has created a weird film. The war scenes are compelling and work as a companion piece to Bigelow’s The Hurt Locker. As with Jeremy Renner’s character, Kyle is an expert who genuinely enjoys war as it gives him the opportunity to enact that expertise to its fullest potential. His simplistic us and them view of the world – the Iraqis are ‘savages’ who need to be exterminated –  is as narrow as you’d expect from someone who spends his life looking down a telescopic sight. Kyle is the man with the hammer who sees only nails. Whereas a friendship of sorts grew up between an Iraqi boy and the bomb disposal expert in Bigelow’s film, Kyle has little contact with the Iraqi populace short of popping them. One moment of apparent peace and civility – a meal shared in the house of  a suspect – is revealed to be a duplicitous trick.

This is not to say that the film wholeheartedly endorses Kyle’s viewpoint. His unwavering commitment to the war increasingly looks more like a symptom of PTSD or simple psychopathy than a political ethos. Or worse still, it is a self-serving justification to allow Kyle to keep killing people. His only moral quandary, his only stated doubt, is that he didn’t kill enough people and thereby save more of his own tribe. His upset at shooting a child he explains to a friend is because it was his first kill, like a man disappointed to have lost his virginity in an ugly drunken tryst.

Kyle’s entire life is defined by guns: from hunting with his dad, to Fallujah and on to hunting with his son. He even wins his wife’s affections by showing off his prowess at a funfair shooting gallery.  There’s a weird moment with his wife late on when he points a gun at her and tells her to drop her knickers – as a joke, with their kids in the next room – which might be a litmus test for how you view the protagonist and the whole film. If you see this as the good old boy charm of a happy domestic scene, you’ll read the film as a NRA approved portrait of a patriot who sacrificed his own mental well-being to protect and serve. Otherwise, you might see that the war will never end for this man, no matter where he is. And that the American in the title is a disturbing pairing with echoes of American Psycho, as if that’s what America is now, a country that kills at long range.

A final note on historical accuracy/honesty. American Sniper is open to criticism similar to that leveled at the Dallas Buyers Club. Just as McConaughey’s sexuality was straightened out by the Oscar winning film, so Kyle’s racism and his loud self-promotion is dampened down in Eastwood’s. Cooper’s Kyle is embarrassed by his legend, modest and self-effacing and as such eminently likable. In reality, Kyle wrote the book the film is based on, starred in a reality TV show, claimed to have shot looters post-Katrina and gave interviews to Bill O’Reilly et al claiming to have punched out Jesse Ventura (a case for defamation was found in the plaintive’s favor). Along with these omissions is the invention of an Iraqi sniper as a nemesis and mirror image of Kyle who is basically the Ivan Drago to Cooper’s Rocky IV.

This is a well made and intense war film. But I always felt like I was in the cinema featured in Inglourious Basterds watching the film about the Nazi sniper. Except the Nazi didn’t shoot children.

For more Reviews CLICK HERE.

BRADLEY COOPER TO MAKE AMERICAN HANGOVER

HOLLYWOOD –  Following American  Hustle and American Sniper, Bradley Cooper confirmed that his American trilogy will be concluded with American Hangover.

Speaking EXCLUSIVELY with the Studio Exec, Bradley ‘The Face’ Cooper said:

I’m not exactly long in the tooth but I’d like to see this as my central acting achievement. American Hustle was about an underworld America. American Sniper is of course about America at war. And American Hangover is going to be exactly like the other Hangover movies, but with the word America in the title. We’re all very excited.

Does this have anything to do with Elvis’ American trilogy?

Yes and no. Mainly no.

What stage is the script at?

Well, we’ve photocopied the first half of Hangover 3 and we’ve just got to do the second half, cross out the title, write in the new title and we’re away.

That’s amazing.

Yeah, I know and the funniest thing about those films is that they keep paying us to do them. In fact, I’d go so far as to say that’s the only funny thing about them.

Zach Galifianakis and Ed Helms are set to return and Todd Phillips has agreed once more to direct. Philips told the Exec:

We are all committed to completing Bradley’s vision, saluting his diverse skills as an actor and money. Mainly money.

American Hangover will be released in 2016.

SALUTE OF THE JUGGER REMAKE GETS DIRECTOR AND STAR

HOLLYWOOD – One of the best post-apocalyptic Science Fiction films starring Rutger Hauer and Joan Chen ever made in 1989, Salute of the Jugger (AKA The Blood of Heroes) is to get a remake.

Bradley Cooper will play Sallow, the veteran player of The Game, leading his band of players through a post-apocalyptic wasteland, stopping briefly to play their violent game, known as The Game. Amy Adams is set to star as the plucky Kidda, a peasant girl who joins Sallow’s team, as they head for the Underground City where they will challenge the villainous League in open competition. David Webb Peoples – who wrote and directed the original – is on board as a producer and Rutger Hauer has agreed to a cameo. Whit Stillman has been tapped to direct and told the Studio Exec exclusively:

I’m used to doing more talky things with people talking, rich people generally, sometimes dislikeable, sometimes… You know, okay-ish. Whereas here I’m dealing with an apocalyptic wasteland where the only entertainment is a game where a one armed man must spike the skull of a dead dog and everyone else is breaking faces willy nilly. So I’m in my comfort zone.

Salute of the Jugger will be released in 2017.

AMERICAN HUSTLE: REVIEW

AMERICAN HUSTLE: REVIEWS – Christian Bale is FAT Robert de NiroBradley Cooper is Mean Streets Robert de Niro, Amy Adams is hot English female Robert de Niro and David O. Russell is Martin Scorsese in American Hustle.

Although set in recognizable Goodfellas territory, Russell’s crime caper is actually a hugely enjoyable romp with none of Scorsese’s dark anguish. The music, the costumes, the hair and the hair pieces are turned to eleven. The ensemble cast (including yet another out of the park performance by Jennifer Lawrence and an against type Jeremy Renner) are given freedom to quirk up their characters and bounce off each other. Hustle is jam packed with ‘nailed-it’ cameos (comedian Louis C.K. is particularly good) and moments of eccentric fun. If there’s one criticism, it’s that Russell is so intent on making his maverick cops, corrupt politicians and con (wo)men loveable, that the film becomes not only un-edgy but positively squishy. That said it’s sexy and witty and well done. 

GHOSTBUSTERS 4 GREEN LIT

HOLLYWOOD – Grab your Proton Packs because The Ghostbusters are back!

The Studio Exec can exclusively reveal that a brand new live-action Ghostbusters film will start shooting later this year and the long-awaited sequel will be released in December 2014. Ivan Reitman will once again be at the helm and the entire original cast WILL be returning, INCLUDING Bill Murray!

But, there’s a catch. The film will be Ghostbusters 4, NOT 3.

Confused? 

Dan Aykroyd explains:

We spent far too much time trying to come up with a good idea for a third film that everyone could get behind and commit to. But we just couldn’t agree on a story. Bill was in, then he was out, then he was in again, then he was out again. And frankly none of us wanted to go ahead unless everyone was fully on board. But then Ivan and I came up with a fantastic idea for a FOURTH instalment which everyone simply loved, so we’re going to go ahead and do that instead.


Ghostbusters 4 Ever will tell the story of the old team (Venkman, Stantz, Spengler and Zeddmore) planning for their retirement and taking on the challenge of training in their young, fresh-faced replacements. No official word on casting yet but Aykroyd hinted that Bradley Cooper, Liam Neeson, Quinton “Rampage” Jackson and Sharlto Copley are strong contenders for the roles. Jessica Biel is also rumoured to be playing the role of the Ghostbusters’ new young secretary and Patrick Wilson is the hot contender to play the villain.

When we pointed out to Aykroyd that this was the exact same cast as 2010’s The A-Team, he replied, “Aw, shit. Really?”

Ghostbusters 4 Ever will be in theatres December 2014.

5 THINGS YOU NEVER KNEW ABOUT BRADLEY COOPER

HOLLYWOOD – Who knows Bradley Cooper? What is he like deep down? Beneath the face, above the pancreas, three finger lengths from what he knowingly describes as ‘the happy farm’?

Well, the Studio Exec have unearthed FIVE facts to add to your factotum pole of truth in A Place (I don’t know) perhaps Beyond the Pines.

  1. Bradley Cooper means literally: ‘barrel maker who’s also called Bradley’ (some site on the internet). In the whole of the USA, there are only two Bradleys. The second is Bradley Pitt. 
  2. People Magazine recently named the BC (as he prefers to be known) ‘the sexiest man alive’, which was a definite advance on 2004, when People Magazine called the then little known actor ‘the sexiest man from Pennsylvania’.
  3. To prepare for his role as a bipolar sufferer in The Silver Linings Playbook Bradley went to the Antarctic and the North Pole. He said, ‘It didn’t help at all. I guess I just got the words mixed up, or something.’
  4. When making The Hangover Part Two, Bradley Cooper refused to learn the script and simply recited the script from the first film. No one noticed the difference. 
  5. Whilst filming The A-Team, Bradley Cooper took advantage of working  with esteemed actor Liam Neeson to ask him advice on his art. Mr. Neeson apparently said, ‘Get paid as much as possible and do as little as you can.’
For more FACTS on everything from this to that click HERE!