PAW PATROL SAVES CINEMA

MOVIE NEWS – With box office numbers published for last week, it is safe to say PAW Patrol saves cinema. With no other major releases on either side of the Atlantic or around the world, a surge of devotees to the franchise have flocked to multiplexes ensuring PAW Patrol saves cinema for the rest of us.

PAW Patrol Saves Cinema

As the world twiddled its collective thumbs wondering what to do in their down time, the greatest team of heroes were assembling… to sniff each other’s assholes. With nothing else on in cinemas anywhere for anyone, crowds have flocked with tails wagging to see PAW Patrol: The Movie.

They’ll Be There On The Dou-Ble

Cinema-goers are dog tired of Marvel movies and magnetic Fast and Furious films. They want heroes with balls. And they want that hero to lick their own balls. With end of week box-office receipts of $135million stateside and the rest of the world fetching $105million, PAW Patrol has been a very good doggy.

Cinema Is Saved

Scare stories appeared in certain publications (thank you The Guardian) and many people believed that cinema was doomed. Therefore those evil cats at Netflix, Apple TV and Disney+ were waiting to snaffle the dog treats away. But PAW Patrol broke free of its leash and ran away with a nice big juicy bone.

A Shaggy Dog Tale

The past 18 months has been really ‘ruff’ for the cinema industry. But it certainly set tails wagging when we see numbers like this for PAW Patrol. Streaming is no longer the cat who got all of the cream. Cinema is chasing streaming services back up the tree with its tail firmly between its legs. Cinema might have been in the dog’s bed for the past 18 months but the sun eventually shines on every dog’s ass. And we at The Exec, are lapping it up like good dogs. Cinema is not Old Yeller, quite yet.

PAW Patrol Is Currently In Cinemas

SLIGHTLY LESS CRAP FILM BEATS CRAP FILM AT THE BOX OFFICE

HOLLYWOOD – The figures are in for the weekend and the news is that a slightly less crap film has beaten a crap film at the box office.

The Memorial Weekend figures are in and X-Men: Apocalypse released by Fox has easily won over Disney’s Alice Through the Looking Glass, which performed disappointingly for anyone who likes to see unnecessary sequels to bad films financially rewarded. Although the eleventy-th X-Men film beat out its immediate rival, it didn’t perform as well as the last entry in the flaccid comic book series X-Men: Days of Future Past, leading some analysts to argue that perhaps people are growing tired of mediocre films based on comic books which are essentially for children. However, others have pointed to the fact that the film is still likely to make money and now the dream machines that are kept locked in each studio have now all been fitted so as to only convert properties into CGI rich franchises, it is unlikely that that the studios will want to change direction anytime soon.

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G.I. JOE AND TYLER PERRY WIN THE WEEKEND



GI Joe: Retaliation won the Easter weekend Box Office, though Tyler Perry’s Temptation also did good business despite the fact that Tyler Perry is almost universally considered a tool. Meanwhile, The Host was a disappointing debut showing that the young-adult genre is shizzle.
Top quote Ray Subbers at Box Office Mojo: 

The Top 12 earned an estimated $140.8 million, which is nearly identical to the same weekend last year. The G.I. Joe sequel grossed an estimated $41.2 million this weekend, which ranks as the second-highest Easter debut ever behind 2010’s Clash of the Titans ($61.2 million). Including Thursday, the movie has earned $51.7 million; that’s a bit below G.I. Joe: The Rise of the Cobra‘s $54.7 million three-day start in August 2009. For its three major stars, this is also a potent opening: it ranks third-highest for Channing Tatum, second-highest for The Rock, and it’s remarkably the top debut ever for a Bruce Willis movie.

Studio Exec will from now on be committed to reporting only the FACTS of Hollywood news with particular attention paid to Box Office receipts.