BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY FREDDIE’S REVENGE BEGINS SHOOTING

HOLLYWOOD – Bohemian Rhapsody Freddie’s Revenge begins shooting at Pinewood Studios today.

The highly anticipated sequel to the Oscar winning rock biopic will star Robert Englund as Freddie Mercury as Bohemian Rhapsody Freddie’s Revenge begins shooting.

The sequel, which has not been sanctioned by any of the band members apart from John Deacon, (you know, the boring one who played bass) and will star Robert Englund as Freddie Mercury. Englund first gained fame by playing another Freddie in the A Nightmare On Elm Street franchise. The Exec caught up with Robert as he prepped for the role:

What Made You Want To Play The Iconic Singer, Freddie Mercury?

I won’t be playing him as a singer. In our movie Freddie will be a murderous maniac, scarred by the terrible first film and will haunt the dreams of Roger Taylor and Brian May as revenge for that fucking awful movie. I’ll dress up in various skin tight onesies, chasing Roger and Brian around their dreams. I can just do my old Freddie Krueger shtick, but with a camp British accent. Stuff like ‘Ooh, look at my hammer to fall, bitch.’ Or ‘Ooh, who want’s to live forever? You can’t, bitch.’ And ‘Ooh, I’m a killer Queen, bitch.’ That’s comedy gold, right there.

Isn’t That A Little Far-Fetched?

You have seen the first film, haven’t you? It’s no more far-fetched that that pile of dog shit. Only, in this film, my microphone stand will be a sword. In one dream sequence, Freddie will chase Brian around dressed in a skin tight Badger onesie and bite him on his broken asshole and call him bitch all the time, of course.

Do You Think Queen Fans Will Go Along With This?

Look, if they’re happy to pay through the ass to see that Ben Elton bullshit We Will Rock You over and over again, who knows? The way I see it, Queen fans love a bit of camp. What’s more camp than me running about in a black leather cap, neck collar and trousers, chasing Roger Taylor dressed as a school girl. Fuck it, we’ll do it to the Benny Hill theme tune also. That’ll keep the Americans happy, they love all that shit.

Who Is Directing The Movie?

Russell Mulcahy. He ain’t doing much lately. You play the first 8 bars It’s A Kind Of Magic and he comes running. Sucker. It’s tragic, really.

Are You Concerned About The Reaction From Roger And Brian?

No way man. You make enough money for them, they’ll put their names onto any old shit. At the risk of repeating myself, have you seen Bohemian Rhapsody? How the fuck did that win an Oscar?

Bohemian Rhapsody II: Freddie’s Revenge is currently filming.

BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY ALTERED SIGNIFICANTLY FOR CHINA

BEIJING – Bryan Singer’s Bohemian Rhapsody gets a do over for its Chinese release.

Oscar winning Freddie Mercury biopic Bohemian Rhapsody starring Rami Malik will look quite different for Chinese audiences. Some of the edits have taken place in order to play down elements of Mercury’s life but the synopsis released today suggests a radical new version of the film.

Freddie Mercury rises to fame with popular rock and roll band KING! Watch as he sings some of his most famous songs FAT BOTTOMED GIRLS and KILLER KING and WE WILL (HETEROSEXUALLY) ROCK YOU. Freddie and the fellow creative geniuses of the band storm the charts. Tragically, Freddie catches a cold after having stood in the rain talking to his friend who he has become disappointed in. Luckily, Freddie has time to reunite with his family who were angry at him because of his habit of eating too much cheese when at a buffet and other people might have wanted cheese. The film ends with an IMPERIALIST CONCERT called LIVE AID, in which plays to a stadium crowd. Later he catches a cold and dies of tiredness.

Asked about changes to the film, director Bryan Singer was unavailable for comment.

Bohemian Rhapsody comes out in China tomorrow.

GUESS WHO’S REPLACING BRYAN SINGER DIRECTING QUEEN MOVIE?

HOLLYWOOD – Christopher Plummer will replaces Bryan Singer as the director of Queen movie Bohemian Rhapsody.

Once Bryan Singer departed Bohemian Rhapsody everyone knew what was coming. No sooner had Christopher Plummer finished filming his Kevin Spacey replacement scenes for Ridley Scott than he received a telephone call from someone calling themselves Mr. Robot:

A voice asked me if I would direct a film? Could I direct a film? I thought this very unusual, but I answered I’ve seen it done enough times. I think I should manage. Next thing I knew someone delivered a script to my door as well as a bunch of musicians.

No one has explained the mystery surrounding Singer’s removal. There were reports of a family illness. But also of disruptive behavior on the set, with a worsening relationship with his lead Rami Malek, who stars as Freddie Mercury. That latter hypothesis seems implausible given the asymmetric status of the two.

Adding more confusion is the fact that rumors linking Singer to child abuse claims have seen many assuming he would be joining the lengthening list of Hollywood disgrace. Plummer’s appointment indicates this might be the case.

We asked Christopher if he was aware of Queen.

I will admit that at first I said yes because I’ve always wanted to work with Helen Mirren.

Bohmeian Rhapsody will be released in 2019.