HOLLYWOOD – In a moment of rare political cooperation, congressional Republicans have rushed through a last minute bill providing federal funding for the establishment of Breaking Bad support groups aimed at combating the ill effects of withdrawal from Vince Gilligan’s Emmy winning AMC show.
The legislation was rushed through both houses before the government shut down came into effect and received overwhelming majorities in both bodies. John Boehner and Harry Reid met at the eleventh hour to thrash out the details of the bill which will see the immediate institution of federally funded Breaking Bad Reach Out Groups. A joint statement read:
There are times when even in the midst of bitter political dispute all branches of government must come together in a display of national unity.
The move is not unprecedented. After the attack on Pearl Harbor, the death of Bobby Ewing and the finale of The Sopranos, similar bi-partisan moves have been taken. However, lawmakers made it clear that such unity could only be shown when the matter was of the highest priority and as for providing health care or balancing the budget, Boehner said ‘that shit was trivial by comparison’.
Please consult local government websites for your nearest Breaking Bad Support Group.
The second instalment of our Breaking Bad alternate ending series. Choose which one you prefer.
Breaking Bad Alternate Ending II
Having returned to his home with a machine gun, Walter White is met first by a disbelieving neighbour, but he is reckless and now at his wit’s end. He drives out to Uncle Jack’s hide out and works out a super clever plan about how to free Jesse, persuade Jesse to help him and kill Todd and the Nazis using a super clever poison bomb. Meanwhile at Marie’s house, Marie opens the door to find Hank! With the Nazis dead, Mike and Gustav Fring turn up and congratulate Walter. Walter can’t believe it but Hank and Marie also turn up as does Walt’s doctor from the first episode.
‘You died of cancer,’ the doctor explains. ‘Cancer’s a deadly disease, not a plot device. It kills people without worrying about narrative logic, and it certainly doesn’t give you five seasons to get things done. No, you died surprisingly quickly.’
‘But then…’ says Walt, indicating the carnage around him and his family and Jesse.
‘All this has been a dream,’ the doctor says. ‘A kind of limbo.’
Jack Shepherd and his father turn up with Bobby Ewing, whose hair is still wet from the shower and they lead a now babbling Walt into Michael Langford’s Pearly Gates.