BLURRED LINES TO BECOME NATIONAL ANTHEM UNDER DONALD TRUMP

WASHINGTON – It has been announced that the Robin Thicke song ‘Blurred Lines’ will replace the Star-Spangled Banner as the national anthem should Donald Trump win the election.

The Star Spangled Banner has served as the National Anthem since 1931, though the song itself was popular from the early 19th Century. Donald Trump speaking in North Carolina confirmed that the song wouldbe replaced by Robin Thicke’s Blurred Lines, as ‘more fitting to the tone of my presidency’:

Have you heard Robin Thicke’s song? Very beautiful. It’s a beautiful song. “I know you want it (uh huh) But you’re a good girl! The way you grab me, Must wanna get nasty, Go ahead, get at me!” I have no time for political correctness. This is not politically correct. You know what I say? So what? Who wants to sing about a flag? Who cares? Am I right?

Donald Trump will win the election on November 8.

PHARRELL WILLIAMS SUED BY MOUNTIES

HOLLYWOOD – In an escalation of his legal woes, Pharrell Williams is being sued by the Royal Canadian Mounted Police – or Mounties as they are popularly known – who claim that the singer’s famous head wear  constitutes a brand violation.

The Happy singer recently lost a legal battle with the Marvin Gaye estate concerning Blurred Lines, a song he co-wrote with Robin Thicke (and Marvin Gaye as it now appears). In this latest case the RCMP issued a cease and desist writ followed by an actual subpoena for the singer to appear in court and answer charges of copyright infringement.

Captain O’Leary told the Studio Exec:

Here at the RCMP we take our image very seriously. We’re not just a working police force, we’re a symbol of the country which is recognizable the world over. We are Canada! The way the tit shaped hat of the English ‘Bobby’ is England. The Mounties have worn that particular style of hat for a hundred years. Now this singer comes prancing around singing about living in some kind of roofless house and it just ain’t right. It brings the uniform and our brand into disrepute.

Although some have criticized the legal case as frivolous it is only one in a growing number of suits which have been targeted at the singer. Serena and Venus Williams are suing him for his use of their surname; wild animals are suing him because feral sounds a bit like Pharrell and the country of Iceland is suing him because despite the song Happy being a hit in that country –  as it was internationally – they are still not happy in what lawyers are calling ‘an obvious breach of contract’.

Pharrell Williams will go to jail for a very long time in 2016.

5 FACTS YOU NEVER KNEW ABOUT ROBIN THICKE

HOLLYWOOD – Following his hit Blurred Lines, the man Rolling Stone called ‘The New Huey Lewis and the News’ Robin Thicke has had wonderful publicity recently thanks to a VH1 sponsored ‘ask me anything’ event, but what do we really know (and when I say know, know means know) about him?

We sent the Studio Exec FACT SQUAD to find out.

1. Robin Thicke’s wife, Paula Patton, left him.

2. Robin Thicke’s most famous song is ‘Blurred Lines’ which is not about rape, specifically. Rather the song is about the way, when you get to a certain age, newspaper print begins to be difficult to make out, and reading the crickets scores (without your reading glasses) – ‘you know you want it’ – can actually look like ‘blurred lines’ rather than text. 

3. Robin Thicke has written many songs for other artists, including Christine Aguilera, The Muppets and Bros, and says his one ambition is to write a song as good as ‘Sweet Cherry Pie’.

 4. Greatly influenced by Marvin Gaye, Robin Thicke frequently holds vigils at the Forest Lawn Cemetery where Gaye is buried where Thicke and friend Pharrell listen to the mysterious sound of revolving that comes from below.  

5. In many parts of Switzerland, Robin Thicke is worshiped as a minor deity.

For more FACTS click here.

5 FACTS YOU NEVER KNEW ABOUT MILEY CYRUS

HOLLYWOOD – The Studio Exec FACT machine turns its attention to Miley Cyrus, star of the VMA awards, twerker extraordinaire and the Wrecking Ball herself smashing the musical establishment to ‘sexy’ smithereens!

1. Miley Cyrus and Hannah Montana are in fact the same person! Although she tried to keep the identities separate for years – with the help of her friends Lily and Oliver – the double life finally became insupportable and her secret was revealed to the world with tragic consequences. 

2. Although only relatively young, the pop star and actress has already had a biopic made about her. The 2010 Duplass Brothers movie Cyrus, however, was a flop after the directors took the bizarre decision of casting Jonah Hill as the waif like singer!

3. It was a surprise that Miley Cyrus showed an inclination towards music as her father is Billy Ray Cyrus. However it was less of a surprise that she’s not very good at it. 

4. Angered by Miley Cyrus’ use of the word ‘literally’ to mean ‘figuratively’, Sinead O’Connor once got the Pope to tear up a picture of Miley Cyrus on Saturday Night Live, or something. 

5. Robin Thicke is actually Miley Cyrus’ grandfather. And what many people saw as OTT provocation was actually a very sophisticated j’accuse and a coded cry for help. Teddy Bears? Hmmmm?

For more FACTS on everything from this to that click HERE!