WESLEY SNIPES ACCOUNTANCY SCHOOL OPENS

HOLLYWOOD – With campuses in The Cayman Islands, Geneva and Tijuana, The Wesley Snipes Accountancy School is opening for business. The Wesley Snipes Accountancy School will give qualifications in Basic Accounting, Lumpy Carpet Care and Book Cooking. The Exec sat down with Wesley to discuss his latest business venture.

Wesley, Thank You For Agreeing To Talk With Us

No problem, my pleasure. Tell me. Are these chairs real leather?

Um, I Believe So.

Woah. They must have cost a pretty wedge of green, that’s for sure. You know they’re tax deductible, right? Let me take them off your hands for say $50 a piece on credit. I could double your money in two weeks. You see, I gotta guy. He’d give you top dollar for them.

That’s OK, But Thank You Anyway.

Are these carpet tiles stuck down? I don’t think they are y’know. Here, give me a hand pulling this one up. There, I knew it. What did I tell ya? They aren’t stuck down. They got some give in them. I reckon we could get quite a lot stashed under these carpet tiles.

Would You Like To Tell Us About Your School?

Huh? Oh Yeah, sure thing. I’m opening up these schools all around the world. These assets are all registered outside of the good ol’ US of A so the fucking IRS can’t touch them. Smart eh? You bet I am. Fool me once, fool me twice, just don’t go fuckin’ fooling me, ok?

What Are You Teaching In Your Schools?

How to bend those bastards at the IRS right over and give it to them good. Wide end first, know what I mean? Look, it was me that was in Blade, Demolition Man, Drop Zone. All that shit. The fucking IRS weren’t in none of them. Why should they get my money? Anyway, I figured I’d open these schools to teach people the wrinkles, the ways to get around things. You see what I’m getting at?

 

Tax Evasion

Evasion, avoidance. Potato, tomato toe-ma-to. Who cares what you call it. The real sweet thing is that all the fees are charged outside the USA so they don’t get shit. Anyway, your time’s up. That’ll be $1500 please.

We Don’t Pay For Interviews

Why, you piece of shit. You’re as bad as the IRS. I’m outta here dude.

 

The Wesley Snipes Accountancy School Opens Later This Month

BLACK PANTHER – REVIEW

BLACK PANTHER – REVIEW – Ryan Coogler’s new film is very good.

The new Marvel film Black Panther directed by Ryan Coogler is pretty good. There’s really no way to disentangle the movie from the phenomenon that it has become and, actually, why would you want to? It’s the first major black superhero movie – if you don’t count Blade, Blade II, Hancock, Blade III, Cat Woman and Meteor Man. The movie blew up at the box office and critical success and provided a generation of young kids with a role model and hero that looks like them for once.

And the film is very good. I’ve loved Chadwick Boseman since the criminally under-rated Get On Up. Here, he evinces a cool charisma as King T’Challa AKA Black Panther. Michael B. Jordan makes a convincing villain and Lupita Nyong’o, Letitia Wright and Danai Gurira are each funny, smart and strong. The location of Wakanda is well realized, bringing Afrofuturism to the screen in a big way.

Does the film have problems? Yep. A few. The action wasn’t great. The casino fight seemed particularly difficult to follow. And the three tier showdown at the end, especially guy in one colored suit fights guy in identical suit of a different color smacked of formula. Although I like that the film isn’t about the death of the entire universe, the battle for a small hill between a handful of fighters seemed almost ridiculously small. Plus politically, although the film dipped its toe, surely the monarchy idea hampered its more progressive urges. In response to Killmonger’s dangerous revolutionary politics, T’Challa becomes a Bill Gates philanthropist, literally dropping in on the neighborhood and buying up real estate.

With the success of Wonder Woman and now Black Panther, studios hopefully will follow up with even more diversity. This can only be a good thing.

For more Reviews, Click Here.

5 FASCINATING FACTS ABOUT STEPHEN DORFF

VENICE BEACH – Stephen Dorff has been delighting audience with his idiosyncratic bravura performances for years in such films as Backbeat, Blade and Somewhere.

But what do we really know about him? Well, the Studio Exec has compiled 5 Fascinating Facts and here they are:

1. His first name is Stephen and his second name (or surname) is Dorff. Put them together and you have Stephen Dorff. It’s that easy.

2. He was in Backbeat, Blade and Somewhere. And … some other films. 

3. His first name is Stephen and his second name… What? Have I already said that? Okay. 5 fascinating facts you say? Okay.

4. Whereas Robert Downey Jr. plays a superhero, Stephen Dorff actually is a superhero. His bland, boring exterior of sleep-inducing dopiness is merely a mask to protect his real identity as Dorff-o the Deliberator, who spends his evenings flying around West Hollywood dispensing justice after he’s thought about it for a long time.

5. To prepare for the role of vacuous, dopey, boring high paid Hollywood actor Johnny Marco for Sofia Coppola‘s boring, dopey, vacuous 2010 film Somewhere, Dorff did nothing at all, not even reading the script. “I just showed up and sat in chairs,” he told Rolling Stone. “Sometimes I sat in a car.”

For more FACTS click HERE.

TOP 5 CGI CLICHES

HOLLYWOOD – The Studio Exec FACT squad picks the top 5 worst CGI cliches.

The Studio Exec – the finest Film resource on the internet – brings you the 5 worst CGI clichés ever made in any film ever and shown on cinema screens in a movie house.


1, The flock of birds
A cityscape of obvious CGI-ness, a surging score, you can already hear Terry Gilliam saying ‘It’s only a model!’, but then Lo! what’s that? a flock of birds departs from the eaves of one part of the city and heads somewhere else. The audience can be heard gasping at the realisation that as birds live here this is a real city, for if it wasn’t, where would they live? Lord of the Rings, Gladiator, Star Wars: The Phantom Diarrhoea and The Game of Thrones.

2, Following a ballistic weapon, missile, arrow etc. to its target
Before CGI audiences would watch actions scenes with an arched eyebrow, and a monocle, smoking cigarettes in long cigarette holders and they would murmur: ‘That’s all very well, old boy, but if I don’t follow the cannonball from cannon mouth to explosion how can I really know what is happening?’ Please see The Alamo, Pearl Harbor, Lord of the Rings.
3, A character (usually a witness to a conspiracy) getting suddenly hit by a car, or truck
the sudden shock of a character being hit by a speeding vehicle has been much reduced by the fact we’ve now seen it on a number of occasions. Please see The Edge of Darkness, World War Z, 21 Jump Street.
4, Strangely clean gore
Ruby red blood gouting out of bodies torn literally to pixels. Please see Blade, 300, Resident Evil.
5, Hordes
be they armies rushing at each other into battle, to the then clash in the middle, or zombie lemmings pouring over walls, there’s something about the hyper realism of the horde which is as disconcerting as Robert Zemeckis’ dead eyes. World War Z, 300Lord of the Rings, The Hobbit and I am Legend. 

For more FACTS click HERE.