DAMON LINDELOF’S BLADE RUNNER 2049 EMAIL

HOLLYWOOD – We publish Damon Lindelof’s email to Ridley Scott. 

Written while Blade Runner 2049 was in development this email sees Damon Lindelof and Ridley Scott discussing possible story ideas for Blade Runner 2049.

The Studio Exec has obtained a copy of the Blade Runner 2049 email. It says things you people wouldn’t believe:

hEY rIDDERS OH WAIT CAPS LOCK


Hey Ridders, Jesus where’s delete? Never mind. I mean. What the hell! Right Scottish? We can fix it in post. It’s the Damon-ster here. I know you said you weren’t sure you wanted me to help you with Blade Runner 2049 but I’ve been thinking really hard about it and I’ve got some ideas things for the plot like concept of the story notes perhaps. So here goes. 


The years is 2072, right? OK and Deckard’s like this old Blade Runner. And he’s got this fresh, brash partner (I’m thinking Shia LaBeouf or perhaps Channing Tatum). OK. And they get a mission to go after the Nexus 17 replicants right. And Deckard has a lot of bullshit from his boss cause he ran off with a replicant and what not and it ended badly, but he only has a week left until his retirement (some comedy here with possible confusion about Deckard being a replicant who’s about to be retired LOL). Anyway they go after the replicants but this time they follow them to the off world colonies and there are like shit loads of chases and what not, and Deckard says (more than once) “I’m getting too old for this shit”. He says it like three or four times, like it’s a RUNNING GAG and ironically it’s because he’s a RUNNER who is too old to RUN. Right?
 
Anyway they meet this really old woman who looks like exactly like Vanessa Redgrave (we can get Guy Pearce for this and put him in an old woman suit) and she’s like Tyrell the 4th or something. And she explains that actually all human beings are replicants because we’ve all been created by a higher power, which is like god but really actually just like super intelligent sperm people. You dig? Anyway, deep shit, deep shit, running, some more deep shit. Then they corner the Nexus 17 and Tyrell in this super dangerous and they could just call for back up, but for some reason (I haven’t worked this bit out but who cares) they just run in guns blazing. Something heavy falls on Tyrell can kills her for no real reason and polar bears start attacking. I know, fantastic, isn’t it?
 
They kill the polar bears or something. then confront Nexus 17 Ray Batty who reveals himself to actually be the son of Deckard and Rachel and Deckard is crying but just completely like blows him away. Fade to Black. A Celine Dion, music Vangelis and with lyrics by moi ‘Tears in Rain’ over credits:
 
I’ve seen things you people wouldn’t believe — eeeeeeve
Polar bears attacking me and my son, 
About Rachel Replicant I grieve — eeeeeeeeve
What have I done, done done
 
SAX SOLO


Blade Runner 2049 will be released in 2017.

       

BLADE RUNNER 2 ‘NOT A MUSICAL’, SAYS RYAN GOSLING

HOLLYWOOD – LaLa Land star Ryan Gosling insists that Blade Runner 2 will not be a musical.

He sings and dances up a storm in LaLa Land but Ryan Gosling stated explicitly today that the new Blade Runner 2 movie will not be a sequel.

Speaking EXCLUSIVELY to the Studio Exec, Gosling said:

It’s crazy. You do one musical and suddenly everyone thinks that’s all you can do. I spoke for a long time with Denis Villeneuve, our director, and we both agreed that the tone of Blade Runner 2 had to be consistent with the original film. And that kind of precludes big song and dance numbers.

So no songs at all then?

I didn’t say that. There won’t be a big choreographed musical scene but I can hold a tune so we do have one or two songs throughout the film. For instance, I’m singing the theme song Blade Running through Tears in Rain.

Blade Runner 2 will be released in 2018.

CONFIRMED: OSCAR PISTORIUS WON’T BE IN BLADE RUNNER 2

HOLLYWOOD – South African para-Olympian Oscar Pistorius will not be featuring in Blade Runner 2, it was revealed today. 

Para-Olympian sprinter Oscar Pistorius looks unlikely to be appearing in the new Denis Villeneuve film Blade Runner 2, it was revealed today. A source close to the film told the Studio Exec EXCLUSIVELY when we phoned the studio earlier this afternoon.

The source said:

I don’t understand. There was never any real idea that he would be a part of the project. I mean I know he was nicknamed the Blade Runner, but that really didn’t have anything to do with the first film at all. And the idea of including him in the second film was never even broached to my knowledge. It would be in terrible taste.

And so are you saying now this conviction for murder makes it even more unlikely?

Yes.  I mean obviously. But it wasn’t even a little bit on the cards.

 

So it now seems clear that there are two motives that Oscar Pistorius won’t be appearing in the new Blade Runner sequel. First he had no involvement with the original Ridley Scott movie and secondly he’s a murdering sack of sh*t.

 

SICARIO – REVIEW

SICARIO – REVIEW: Denis Villeneuve’s cross border thriller is a dark, complex investigation into the front line of the drug war.

Emily Blunt plays Kate Macer, a Police officer who graduates from kicking in doors to join a special task force led by Josh Brolin’s amoral agent Matt. Matt is unconventional and so is his squad. The flipflop wearing dudester is obviously into rule breaking, with some kind of blessing from on high and we’re prepared for a classic Hollywood narrative as the young straight laced rookie learns to bend the rules to get results, getting a little crooked on the way. But like many things with Sicario, expectations are raised only to be subverted. Lines are crossed as well as borders as the team motor into a Mexico town to collect a potential witness, a  thundering convoy into a hellish Mexican town is executed with brutal excitement, an almost documentary immersion into the world.  A fog of compromise and doubt pervades the movie, which each character tries to cut through in their own way. The half-light of the Mexico-US border is caught by Roger Deakins amazing cinematography that imbues proceedings with a the kind of badlands noir that No Country for Old Men hinted at.

Another member of the squad is the apparently stateless  Alejandro, played by a magnificent Benico Del Toro. No one is sure where he comes from or what his relationship is to the cartels, or what his legal role is. And he glowers with the kind of dark history of a dead man walking, an instrument of darkness who Matt employs but never truly controls. Former TV actor Taylor Sheridan has crafted a screenplay that provides the sort of grim fare that made the Seventies brilliant and Emily Blunt does her best to maintain her calm even as the film veers away from her and into much darker territory. By the end we don’t really know where we are and for the first time, I was genuinely looking forward to the Blade Runner sequel.

For more Reviews, CLICK HERE.

RIDLEY SCOTT PROMISES TO RUIN ALIEN COMPLETELY

LONDON – Today Ridley Scott vowed that he would ruin his breakthrough science fiction/horror hit  Alien completely, promising a further two Prometheus prequels.

Many had hoped that Prometheus had been greeted with such critical lukewarmth if not hatred that cinema-goers would nary be met with a follow up, but it appears today that Ridley Scott is determined to ruin his original Alien film in a fit of nihilistic loathing of the world. He popped into the Pinewood Studio Exec Bungalow yesterday to talk about it:

People always say to me, “oh Ridley Alien was great” or “Gee Ridley I really enjoyed Blade Runner”. Nobody mentions White Squall, Somebody to Watch Over Me, Black Rain or GI Jane. I made 1492 with not a single shot of CGI and Gerard Depardieu for Christ’s sake. What is the matter with these people? Why can’t they appreciate my whole Oeuvre?

Your what?

My Oeuvre Goddamn it! It’s what French directors have. For breakfast I think.

Oh.

So my plan is Blade Runner 2. There you go, you can stop going on about Blade Runner and Prometheus 2 and 3 and boom, Alien will start looking like something that isn’t that special. P. T. Anderson, God Bless him, tried to ruin two franchises in one go with his Alien V Predator films, but you need real skill to properly ruin films. And I’m your man.

Why do you hate the world so much? 

Because people are weird flesh bags and they open their mouths and massive word trains come out. No one appreciates me for the genius I am except me. Yesterday I got a Kinder Surprise. I opened it and the little plastic toy inside, well… it wasn’t a surprise anymore. I was totally expecting it.

Prometheus 2 and Prometheus 3 will be released in 2017 and 2019.

RYAN GOSLING’S BLADE RUNNER 2 ROLE REVEALED

HOLLYWOOD – The news that Ryan Gosling is to star in Denis Villeneuve’s Blade Runner 2 rocked the internet this week, but only the Studio Exec can reveal via a leaked email the details of Gosling’s role.

The following email was sent from Denis Villeneuve to Ryan Gosling cc-ing Ridley Scott and (accidentally)  me.

SUBJECT: Blade Runner 2?

From: Denis Villeneuve

To: Ryan Gosling

Hey Ryan,

First of all congratulations on Gangster Squad! What a film! It was like LA Confidential but without the tiresome need to think, or follow the story, or be particularly interested. And you made some brave choices. That squeaky high pitched voice you put on. At first I was ‘What the f*ck?’ then I thought ‘no. It’s brilliant.’ I can’t tell you why it was brilliant but it reminded me of Elisha Cook. OK. Enough ass kissing, right? Blade Runner 2. Larry said I should fill you in more before you make your final decision. I think the money business is all clear. Your request to be paid in macrobiotic restaurants is fine but health and safety tell me the Mariachi band you requested in your trailer for the whole of the shoot might be a problem. I’m sure we can resolve it but there are some laws about human slavery that we might be infringing. But to the story that Harrison Ford has called ‘the best screenplay he’s ever read’.

The year is 2056. Los Angeles. Timmy Deckard is a young Blade Runner, a maverick who doesn’t play by the rules but gets results. (We wrote it the other way round at first, but although original it just didn’t make much sense.)  He gets a hard job. There’s an old renegade replicant living in the wastelands (West Hollywood as we now call it).This guy is building an army of escaped replicants and is planning on wiping out the Blade Runners and taking over the running of the city. Timmy has to hunt him down and retire him. But when he finds him, guess what? The old replicant turns out to be Rick Deckard, Timmy’s long lost father! Captured by the replicant army, Timmy’s dad tells him that Timmy was conceived when he and Rachel ran away. They were fugitive for years with their little replicant/human baby. But in a twist it turns out that Rachel wasn’t a replicant after all. She was just very emotional distant because she was played by Sean Young. Rick was the replicant. So she had Timmy and died soon after of plot convenience and contractual hassles. Now the hunted instead of the hunter, Timmy must decide whether to join forces with  his old man, or bury his past and finish the job.

What do you think Ryan? Screenplay is in the attachment.

Best

Denis

SUBJECT: RE: Blade Runner 2

From: Ryan Gosling

To: Denis Villeneuve

Hi Denis,

The Mariachi band is a deal breaker.

Ryan

 Blade Runner 2 will be released in 2016.

BLADE RUNNER 2: DAMON LINDELOF ARRESTED

HOLLYWOOD – Damon Lindelof has been arrested after defying a court order making it illegal for Mr. Lindelof to approach within 200 metres of the Blade Runner sequel, tentatively titled Blade Runner 2.

Judge Jorges Harenton had ruled in his judgement in June of this year, soon after seeing Prometheus, that Mr. Lindelof should obey the restraining order as he has had a history of causing a huge amount of public distress, especially with his ‘bullshit plotting and cloth-eared dialogue’.
Judge Harenton went on to write in his ruling, that the Lost writer ‘had grievously and with knowledge aforethought caused untold damage to what had been like the science fiction horror film of all time.’
Mr. Lindelof had responded  by saying ‘Is this serious? that can’t be right’ and had treated to the restraining order as a joke. He was found in the early hours of this morning emailing Ridley Scott with a story outline (to read the email CLICK HERE). In his possession was a heavily annotated copy of Philip K. Dick’s Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? the book on which the original film was based.
In a surprise twist, STUDIO EXEC can reveal that it was Ridley Scott who telephoned the police on receiving the email.

RIDLEY SCOTT RULES OUT THELMA AND LOUISE 2

HOLLYWOOD – He might be gumming up the Alien universe with his Prometheus films and he might be up for Blade Runner 2, but Ridley Scott is absolutely adamant there will not be a sequel to his 1991 girls on the run movie Thelma and Louise.

The White Squall director seemed surprised at the question. ‘No, I don’t have any plans to revisit that story,’ he told the Danish bacon monthly, Swine. ‘I think the ending that we shot was pretty … well … conclusive.’
However Geena Davis and Susan Sarandon both have expressed a wish to return to the characters. Sarandon told the New York Frisbee:

I don’t see why not. We’ve had prequels before and I think knowing what happens to there characters would add a tragic luster to the film and also. Obviously I would be more than happy to Louise once more.

Davis however seemed to be suggesting a slightly different approach. 

Okay what we see at the end seems fairly clear. The car… okay? But we never see it actually land and so there are a number of possible options. I’m thinking it could have got caught in a bush, or it could reach the other side. Or maybe they had parachutes. Shucks! With digital technology you can do anything these days.

Callie Khouri – the original screenwriter – has already written several drafts for a possible sequel and brushes off Scott’s apparent reluctance: ‘When Ridley reads what I’ve done – sending Thelma off to space as a kind of Jesus alien figure – I’m sure he’ll come round.’

However, the project, if it ever happens, will certainly have to wait as Ridley Scott already has a full dance card, what with the new Prometheus film, Blade Runner 2 as well Somebody to Watch Over Me 2 and 1493 all slated for production in the next two years. 

Thelma and Louise 2 might still be released in 2015.