ANDERSON WILL DIRECT AYOADE IN QUIRKMAGEDDON

MOVIE NEWS – The king of whimsy has shelved plans for another Roald Dahl movie in favor of a more personal project. Wes Anderson will direct Ayoade in Quirkmageddon, which will be a meta-documentary or ‘documetary’ as Anderson insists on calling it. We caught up with the auteur of aloof Anderson, to discuss this latest project.

Wes Anderson Will Direct Ayoade? How Did That Happen?

Yo listen up Miles. I is gonna throw fo sho truth bombs at ya. Know what I’m saying? I was just chillin’ and illin’ with my man Murray B and he was all up in ma grill. ‘He was like, ‘Yo yo W-A-W-A’, he calls me that. It stands for Wes Anderson With Attitude. He said, ‘Look man, word on the street is yo trippin’ with another R Dahl joint, know what I’m saying?’ And then he’s all, ‘Don’t be messin’ with all that shizzle, bro. Meta is where it’s at mofo.’

I See

Fuckin’ A bro. That’s right, ya dig? My main man Billy Mur-ray had my back. He was like, ‘Don’t be messin’ with that British shizzle. You gots to keep it fresh, wicki-wicki-wa-waa.’ And then it hit me like a bolt of electric. I could see the future man. It was meta. I had to make a documentary about not making no Roald Dahl piece of shit. But it’s meta documentary, a documetary! Man, sometimes I amaze even myself, you know what I’m saying?

 

How Did Richard Ayoade Become Involved?

He’s the coolest kid on the block man. He’s the whack-daddy. You know what I’m saying? I mean, I can’t understand a fucking word that comes outta his mouth, you know what I’m saying? He’s all, quirky this and quirky that. Look at my corduroys man. It’s sexy as shit, you know what I’m saying? Imagine him, my man Billy Mur-ray and that goofy fuckin kid Chalamet all in the same movie. Damn man, that is some fried chicken movie heaven right there.

Wes Anderson Will Direct Ayoade in Quirkmageddon Soon.

HIDDEN GEMS: 27. GHOSTBUSTERS

Hidden Gems brings to light little known film gems which have somehow slipped through the collective cinematic consciousness. You’re welcome.

If there’s something strange in your neighborhood, who you gonna call? Ghostbusters.

Everybody loves Ghostbusters.

Melissa McCarthy, Kristen Wiig, Kate McKinnon and Leslie Jones starred in the iconic 2016 supernatural comedy, packed with thrills and chills. But did you know that the movie is actually a ‘remake’?

No? Don’t sweat it nobody does.

Released in 1984, the original Ghostbusters starred Bill Murray, Dan Aykroyd and Harold Ramis as three paranormal investigators. They enter the private sector as ‘ghostbusters’ and Sigourney Weaver is a client who finds herself possessed by an ancient deity.

Although the special effects are very dated and the acting doesn’t stand comparison, the film does has a certain 80s charm. This is mostly due to Rick Moranis, an actor who bestrode the decade like a comic colossus. And then mysteriously disappeared to dedicate his life to being Canadian full-time.

Nowadays, it is very difficult to watch without making comparisons with the later definitive version, but the caper has more than a curiosity value. It is worth rediscovering as a ‘hidden gem’.

For more Hidden Gems CLICK HERE.

ZOOEY DESCHANEL SIGNS UP FOR QUIRKY QUIRKY KOOK QUIRK

NEW YORK – The New Girl herself Zooey Deschanel is to star in Wes Anderson‘s post- The Grand Budapest Hotel offering: Quirky Quirky Kook Quirk.

For the first time Anderson will be working from a script by another writer, a much touted script by the Duplass brothers.

The Studio Exec has it on good authority the screenplay was doing the rounds of the studios for three years. However, many believed the level of quirk was so high as to render the property ‘practically unfilmable’. Then Anderson got hold of it, tapped his heels and phoned Bill Murray. His motto: ‘if it quirks, it works!’

Zooey Deschanel will join Anderson regulars Jason Schwartzman, the Wilson brothers, Brian Cox, Willem Dafoe and Angelica Houston. Anderson told fans to expect an eclectic mix of music, highly stylized sets, an arch acting style, postmodern self-awareness. Although laughs will be few and far between, ‘there will be much to smile wryly at.’

Anderson answered critics who say that he’s reached a creative cul-de-sac in impenetrable French.

new comedy film

 

Quirky Quirky Kook Quirk will be released in time for everyone to feel really pleased with themselves. 

JON FAVREAU TAPS RON PERLMAN FOR LION KING

HOLLYWOOD – Sons of Anarchy star Ron Perlman has been chosen by Jon Favreau to star in his live action adaptation of The Lion King.

It’s the circle of life, every item has started with reporting this news, including this one, as Jon Favreau begins to firm up his plans to make The Lion King live action motion picture. Following a suggestion by the Studio Exec, Jon Favreau has confirmed that Ron Perlman will indeed be playing Mufasa, the father of Simba. Speaking EXCLUSIVELY with the Studio Eexec, Favreau had this to say:

I’ve always admired Ron as an actor. He’s a talent who has great presence but at the same time manages to vanish completely into the character. As soon as I saw your tweet I thought, ‘Wow! that’s a great idea’ and I got him on the phone. I asked him if he still had his make up from Beauty and the Beast. He said he did and the deal was done.

As for the rest of the cast, Christopher Walken and Bill Murray are set to return from working with Favreau on The Jungle Book to take the parts of Pumba and Timon.

The Lion King will be released in 2018.

MAN ANGRY AT GHOSTBUSTERS REMAKE STARTS CRYING

HOLLYWOOD – A bunch of men who are furious at the all female remake of beloved mediochre comedy Ghostbusters have started weeping, it was revealed today.

As the day draws close that will see the release of the Ghostbusters remake starring Kristen Wiig, Melissa McCarthy, Kate McKinnon and Leslie Jones, men very angry have started to go to the bathroom to have little cries.

Ted Nungent told the Studio Exec EXCLUSIVELY:

It’s not fair. They ruin everything, with their dresses and periods. It’ll probably end up being like some kind of tea party.  I know that if I catch myself having a few sniffles it isn’t my fault. So sometimes I just go somewhere quiet all by myself and bawl my eyes out.

Stephen Baldwin was also furious, but frustrated as to where he put his anger his voice broke into a tremulous whisper and he blinked away the streaming tears:

Ghostbusters for most men of my generation was our Vietnam. And to remake it with ovaries and vulvas and useful nipples… it’s like you’re spitting on the memory of all those men who died making Ghostbusters and Ghsotbusters 2.

Dan Aykroyd, who starred in the original film, said that he sympathized with the reactions of some men.

I’ve seen the movie and I know it is really good, but I understand how meaningful Ghostbusters is to many men and anyway we all need to cry. I remember when we made Dragnet – I cried all year. I was dehydrated I cried so much.

Ghostbusters will be released in July.

5 EASTER EGGS IN THE GHOSTBUSTERS TRAILER

HOLLYWOOD – The new Ghostbusters movie got its first trailer this week and the internet did a back flip and two treble double nelsons in delight.

The Studio Exec watched the new Ghostbusters remake with some trepidation and was ready to find all the Easter eggs and other goodies hidden in Paul Feig’s take on the classic 80’s paranormal comedy starring Dan Aykroyd and Bill Murray. We discovered the secret Easter Eggs and here they are. All five of them.

  1. The Ghostbusters are WOMEN! This is unbelievable. I mean… women! Talk about crossing the Goddamned streams.  Kristen Wiig and Melissa McCarthy’s particle physicists join with Kate McKinnon and Leslie Jones, the latter is not well educated but brings sass because she is ‘black’.
  2. There are no men Ghostbusters, but just women. Thor is a nerdy janitor!
  3. The women Ghostbusters get puked on by the Slimer, just to show that women can do the same sort of brain dead comedy gunk as the men.
  4. They drive an extremely similar car; the black actor is still the only non-scientist and graffiti is used to consign some sort of ‘street’ legitimacy to the whole proceeding. And I know this is not strictly legitimate and we haven’t seen enough to properly judge, but good Christ it really does look like comedy by committee and as funny as a very small coffin. These are talented people who are very creative and I’m sure that the film is going to be wonderful, but I do wish they were making their own film, their own idea, which would then be rebooted twenty years from now.
  5. There are no Easter Eggs. Easter Eggs are made of chocolate and there is often a gift or something inside. I watched the trailer three times and I’ll be buggered with a rusty rod if I found even one.

For more FACTS click HERE.

CORMAC McCARTHY’S GHOSTBUSTERS 3 SCRIPT

EXCLUSIVE – Read an EXCLUSIVE extract from Cormac McCarthy’s failed Ghostbusters 3 script.

American novelist and Counselor screenwriter Cormac McCarthy new version of Ghostbusters 3 was ultimately rejected but the Studio Exec have got our hands on the first draft which (interestingly enough) was written in crayon.

 

INT. FIRE STATION. NIGHT.
A phone rings in the desolate waste of the night. A man. A man answers the phone.

VENKMAN

Hello.

HOTEL MANAGER

You know what there is?

VENKMAN

No. I don’t know.

HOTEL MANAGER

It’s a ghost. There’s a ghost. And I thought, I thought, who am I gonna call? Then it came to me. I’m gonna call Ghostbusters. 

VENKMAN

What did you do next?

HOTEL MANAGER

This is it. This is me. Now. Calling Ghostbusters. This is Ghostbusters, right?

VENKMAN

Only in a deeply painful way. But yes. I suppose it is.

EXT. NEW YORK STREET. NIGHT.
The famous Ghostbusters mobile drives with the siren wailing and the light flashing.

FADE TO BLACK


INT. FIRE STATION. NIGHT.

Venkman, Ray and Spengler sit. They are covered in slime and look exhausted and distressed by the moral efficacy, or otherwise, of their deliberations.

VENKMAN

The Ghost.

SPENGLER

Busted.

RAY

You got slimed Peter. Aren’t you cold?

VENKMAN

The truth has no temperature.

RAY

I don’t understand. Are you cold or not?

VENKMAN

In a word, ‘women’.

SPENGLER

No, I still don’t get it.

VENKMAN

Just get me a towel.

He pauses for the laughter he will never hear. Ray passes him a towel. He fails to use it.


FADE TO BLACK


FIN

Ghostbusters 3 will be released in 2017. 

BILL MURRAY TALKS GHOSTBUSTERS REBOOT

HOLLYWOOD – Comedy legend and occasional drinker, Bill Murray, has been secretly recorded denouncing the script for Paul Feig’s Ghostbusters reboot in a Los Angeles bar.

Murray released his tirade in celebrity hangout Bar Marmont after consuming what one onlooker described as a “S*it load of tequila.”

We cannot print the transcript of the recording in full as it goes on for five and a half hours but below are some choice excerpts from Murray’s devilish diatribe:

9.35 pm

F*cking Feig, he comes over to my house with this stupid script and expects me to roll over and take it from behind. Don’t get me wrong, I f*cking love Paul, he’s like the cousin I never drowned but he wouldn’t know good writing if it burrowed into his fat ass and laid an egg.

10.22 pm

I mean you should read this f*cking thing! I’ve not read a script this bad since Lindeloff accosted me in the Laker’s bathroom with a copy of Prometheus.

10.54 pm

I dig the chick thing, I dig it, but they want f*cking Ricky Moranis to return. I mean…how the f*ck is that going to happen? He’s been freebasing crack for 15 years and last I heard the police had caught him naked in his neighbor’s garden looking for miniature people. The guy’s off his tits and they want to strap a f*cking nuclear reactor to his back?

11.25 pm

F*ck Groundhog Day man. F*ck Lost in Translation, The Royal Tenenbaums and the mother f*cking Life Aquatic. The best movie I ever made was Larger Than Life. I f*cking loved that goddamn elephant.

12.13 pm

Seriously, the Marshmallow man is the US President and Slimer’s a post-op transsexual. I mean, what the f*ck were these writers smoking and where can I get some?

12.57 pm

WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU’VE GOT NO CREME DE MENTHE? WHAT KIND OF F*CKING COWBOY OPERATION ARE YOU RUNNING HERE?

1.45 pm

NO I WON’T PUT MY F*CKING TROUSERS BACK ON! WHO THE F*CK DO YOU THINK YOU’RE TALKING TOO? I’M BILL F*CKING MURRAY! ONE PHONE CALL TO SPIELBERG AND I COULD HAVE YOU KILLED, MOTHERF*CKER!

NOT LIKING BILL MURRAY TO BE MADE ILLEGAL

HOLLYWOOD – Anyone who doesn’t like Bill Murray could face a maximum fine of $15,000 and up to six months in prison, according to a new law currently being considered in Congress.

The legislation would criminalize ‘indifference, criticism of and/or contempt of Mr. Bill Murray, including comments that he has “lost it” or “gone off the boil”‘. Congressman Eddie Vargas (D) says that the legislation has been made necessary by a number of lackluster Bill Murray movies which have tested the love for the cult film actor:

Bill Murray is like a protected species. He has an ineffable charm, a weary hangdog expression and he can be both dryly witty and deeply tragic in the same shot, so it is important that we remind the nation of Ghostbusters, Groundhog Day and Lost in Translation and try to encourage them to forget about Saint Vincent.

Opponents of the bill say that coercing people to like Bill Murray will be counterproductive. Jean Backalore spokes EXCLUSIVELY to the Studio Exec:

I like Murray. He’s a fine comic actor and a charismatic presence. But the internet worship of the actor as an icon has gone too far and does him a disservice, leading to Comic-Con appearances among other things. We have to be honest. Ghostbusters great, Ghostbusters 2 not so much. Groundhog Day great, Meatballs not so much. Rushmore, great. The Life Aquatic of Steve Zissou not so much. But that sentence that I have just said would be considered illegal and I might find myself deprived of my liberty. This goes beyond George Orwell’s 1984.

Do you support the No Bill Murray Left Behind Bill? Speak your Brains!

ST. VINCENT: REVIEW

ST. VINCENT: REVIEW: In this Ghostbusters spin off, Peter Venkman (Bill Murray) is an old grumpy drunk who begrudgingly befriends a small Jewish boy (Jaeden Lieberher) who goes to Catholic school.

There comes a time in every actor’s career where they decide to go Ratso Rizzo. Mickey Rourke goes Wrestling, Jack Nicholson drives an RV to his daughter’s wedding and Al Pacino becomes a locksmith. Bill Murray plays Vinnie, a grouchy hard drinking loser who is out of money, out of luck and out of patience, his misery occasionally relieved by the ministrations of heavily pregnant Russian prostitute Daka (Naomi Watts). When Melissa McCarthy’s harassed single parent turns up freshly separated with her young son, Vin is recruited to look after the boy. At first he does so unwillingly but soon an unlikely bond blah di blah, and the boy learns that beneath his misanthropic surface Vin is actually blah di blah. Blah di blah comic cameo from Chris O’Dowd, blah di blah Naomi Watts broadly racist Russian prostitute, blah di blah heartwarming Oscars and Golden Globes.

St. Vincent is an overly slick awards garnering machine. All that’s missing is the word ‘Sunshine’ in the title. The plot is so predictable that the title sequence should have SPOILER ALERT written all over it. Every character is layered with feel good sympathy and yet nothing is real. They all have speeches written to be played as clips for prior to awards and each musical cue plays like midway through the trailer. In fact almost any 30 second  moment of Theodore Melfi’s film picked at random could be used in the trailer. It seems so intent on selling itself, selling its characters and being liked it even canonizes its lead on stage in front of an applauding audience. Like a rehearsal for the Oscars.

 For more Reviews CLICK HERE.

3 JUNGLE BOOKS TO BE RELEASED

HOLLYWOOD – Following the announcement by Disney that they are to shoot a live action Jungle Book next year – directed by Andy Sirkis and Warner Bros that they will follow it in 2016 with The Jungle Book: Origins, Sony have announced a further take on the much loved Rudyard Kipling novel: The Amazing Jungle Book. Continue reading “3 JUNGLE BOOKS TO BE RELEASED”

WES ANDERSON OPENS RUSHMORE ACADEMY

DEVON – The Grand Budapest Hotel director, Wes Anderson today opened his own college for talented quirky geniuses The Rushmore Academy Educational for the Inexplicably Talented.

The school – which was inaugurated in the English village Quirkington, Devon – is a converted four story country house, the whole back of which comes away to reveal the idiosyncratic rooms within, in cross section. The ceremony was attended by Gwyneth Paltrow and Prince Charles, as well as a gaggle of White Russians and a peck of jaded jet-setting ex-wives and a bundle of Fellini-esque party-goers and drug addicts. The Royal Tenenbaums director explained:

The idea is we all have talents, but wealthy outsiders with floppy hair have more fascinating talents and are also prey to dark thoughts, which no amount of twee irony or alternative acoustic pop can successfully keep at bay. 

What is the curriculum going to be like?

There will be childlike intricate drawing, escape plans, list making, voice over, knot tying, ornithology, dog fighting, orienteering, book keeping, Asperger’s 101 and obnoxiousness. 

And who will be teaching lessons?

There will be no permanent teaching faculty as such. We hope to have visiting eccentrics occasionally offering guidance.  The pupils will be served by a small uniformed troop of Indian servants who will help their almost exclusively white wards in a post-racist way. Everything will be under the supervision of a strict but unconditionally loving matriarch with a sad rapscallion father figure (Bill Murray is already under contract) who will appear bi-annually to offer pathos and one liners. 

Rushmore, however, has stiff competition in the US where Zooey Deschanel has set up the Girls Academy for Tilting Their Heads to One Side Kookily. 

TOP 5 ANDIE MACDOWELL FILMS

HOLLYWOOD – Fashion model turned actress Andie MacDowell has been wowing audiences for decades with her beautiful looks and capacity to talk and walk and wear clothes.

But what are our favorite FIVE films? Well, it’s been a tough choice but here goes.

1. Groundhog Day: Although many people remember Bill Murray’s amazing performance, the brilliantly inventive script and the late Harold Ramis’ inspired molding of the whole, Andie MacDowell is also in it.

2.  Groundhog Day: Although many people remember Bill Murray’s amazing performance, the brilliantly inventive scripts and the late Harold Ramis’ inspired molding of the whole, Andie MacDowell is also in it.

3. Groundhog Day: Although many people remember Bill Murray’s amazing performance, the brilliantly inventive scripts and the late Harold Ramis’ inspired molding of the whole, Andie MacDowell is also in it.

4. Groundhog Day: Although many people remember Bill Murray’s amazing performance, the brilliantly inventive scripts and the late Harold Ramis’ inspired molding of the whole, Andie MacDowell is also in it.

5.  Groundhog Day: Although many people remember Bill Murray’s amazing performance, the brilliantly inventive scripts and the late Harold Ramis’ inspired molding of the whole, Andie MacDowell is also in it.

For more FACTS and top Fives CLICK HERE

THE MONUMENTS MEN: REVIEW

THE MONUMENTS MEN: REVIEW – Danny Ocean goes to Europe to save a bunch of valuable artworks from the dastardly Nazis and the dratted Ruskies. For the mission, he recruits an unhealthy looking John Goodman, the guy from the Artist, Bob Balaban and Bill Murray as well as a middle aged Will Hunting.

The acting talent is there. Clooney has directed two good films – Confessions of a Dangerous Mind and Goodnight, and Good Luck were both creditable – so he knows how to do it. The subject is interesting and novel. So what went wrong? 

 
First of all, the film keeps desperately wanting to move us, so Clooney and co-writer Grant Haslov keep front-loading the emotion: with inspiring speeches before anyone’s done anything, voice-over read letters to parents underlining explicitly why something is tragic and Christmas carols sung by a daughter, sloppily juxtaposed with the death of an unknown soldier. It’s all a mush of a mushness.
 
Neither is the comedy as caper-y as the poster sells us, nor as funny. Clooney is genuinely interested in his subject and wants us to feel the heroism of his art historians in uniform. So he keeps telling us this, again and again, and the humor is vaguely apologetic and horribly gentle. Bill Murray does Bill Murray again, so if you like Bill Murray doing Bill Murray you’ll see Billy Murray.
 
However, entertainment can be gained by guessing with your friends what Cate Blanchett’s motivation is for being such a pain in the ass throughout.