BILL MAHER: ‘I’M NOT AS RACIST AS THOSE F*CKING ARABS’

HOLLYWOOD – Having used the ‘n-word’ on Real Time with Bill Maher, the controversial host defended himself.

Bill Maher defended himself last night having caused outrage with his use of the n-word on his HBO show Real Time with Bill Maher. He phoned Studio Exec EXCLUSIVELY last night and raged:

This is what is wrong with these f*cking liberals. They spend all their time attacking me and no time attacking the real enemy: Arabs. I mean all this PC bullshit about how racist I am and not a word about how racist the goddamned Arabs are. And don’t get me started on the Celestials, or I guess I ought to call them Orientals these days! People say I’m racist but those assholes a) don’t know how to drive – and that’s funny because it’s true – and b) are really racist against ni… black folks.

So you think this is all about political correctness?

Absolutely. I used to have a show called Political Correctness and I got kicked off that too. Look the ‘n-word’ is only the ‘n-word’ if it ends with an ‘er’. Mine ended with an ‘a’, like rappers. And so if you’re saying only rappers can use that word then fine but I’m kind of a rapper, like Eminem or Vanilla Ice.

But don’t you think political correctness is something you spend a hell of a lot of time on. I mean this isn’t the 90s and we kinda have a fascist in the White House.

No, political correctness is worse than Trump. It goes all the way through our lives, from college gigs to one hour specials. Every facet of a comedian’s life is blighted by political correctness. I blame the Jews.

Real Time with Bill Maher broadcasts on Fridays.

 

 

5 FACTS YOU NEVER KNEW ABOUT DONALD TRUMP

HOLLYWOOD – Although not strictly speaking a politics blog, Donald Trump is not strictly speaking a politician. In fact he isn’t strictly speaking anything we have a word for.

So we sent the Studio Exec FACT squad to Trump towers to find out all we could about Donald Trump.

  1. Donald Trump first made his money out of a card game called Top Trumps, which he named after himself.
  2. Donald Trump became famous as a celebrity following his appearance on Reality TV show The Apprentice. Although as in a Philip K. Dick novel, some observers are beginning to wonder if the Reality TV show was not actually reality and the reality that we’re living – with Donald Trump riding high in the polls to be the next Republican Presidential candidate – is the Reality TV show.
  3. When Bill Maher compared Trump to an Orangutan and Trump sued him, the case never got to court. Although it is believed that Maher had to settle with the National Society for the Advancement of Orangutans out of court for defamation.
  4. If Donald Trump does win the US Presidential Election, his blueprint for governance is taken from The Hunger Games movies, which Trump says ‘Were full of great ideas, both for entertainment and for how to run a country.’
  5. Several films about Donald Trumps life are currently in production including one starring Damian Lewis from Homeland. What few people know is that Trump himself is going to be starring in a film called No Surrender as a rebuke to his rival and critic John McCain.

For more FACTS click HERE.

MODERN FAMILY STARS ASK EMMYS TO STOP REWARDING SHOW

HOLLYWOOD – In a shock statement the stars of Modern Family have requested the Emmys stop rewarding them.

‘It’s getting embarrassing,’ said Ed O’Neill, who plays ageing patriarch Jay. ‘We have to walk past Larry David and Louis CK to pick up this award every year and I just can’t look them in the eyes.’

‘Enough already,’ said Ty Burrell who plays Phil Dunphy. ‘It’s actually making people hate the show. I’d vote for Community, but it doesn’t even get a nomination. That’s just such BS.’

Christopher Lloyd one of the show’s creators said late last night:

I created the Goddamn show and I can tell you it is not that good. There are other shows. Jesus. I mean the documentary thing for a start. That’s just a lame rip off of The Office and we’ve never been able to get shot of it. You put that beside the innovation of Louis CK or Veep or Community… Enough already.

Jon Stewart also bashed the awards as The Daily Show won its tenth (TENTH!) consecutive Emmy for outstanding variety show, beating Real Time with Bill Maher.

A Modern Family Movie is due for release in 2017.

ORANGUTAN SUES BILL MAHER OVER TRUMP JOKE

‘not an asshole?’











WASHINGTON – Just hours after Donald Trump announced to prestigious News program Fox and Friends that he was going to sue Bill Maher over the claim that he was the product of sex between a human and a orangutan, Kyle a sixteen year old male orangutan,  currently resident of the National Zoo, Washington has also issued a complaint against Maher for defamation.
Maher had been making light of Donald Trump’s continued questioning of President Obama’s birth certificate, when he offered $5 million dollars for proof that Trump was not the product of a sexual union between an orangutan and a human. Trump later called Maher’s bluff, producing his birth certificate to Yahoo News. Now however, Kyle – on behalf of orangutans everywhere is also suing Maher, saying that the suggestion an orangutan could produce something like Donald Trump ‘is as preposterous as it is offensive.’

Kyle fires off another email

His keepers at the zoo are unsurprised.
‘Ever since we taught him how to use an iPad he’s been firing off emails left, right and center,’ says Deke Harmon, head of the monkey house. ‘The other day I caught him watching some James Franco movie and just going bananas, I mean ape shit, no that doesn’t work either.’