The year is 2020. Bill and Ted are the biggest band on the planet. Statues have been built in their honour and cities named after them. Mount Rushmore has been re-sculpted with their faces and their philosophy of ‘Be excellent to each other’ is the basis for the dominant global religion.
Int: The Rufus Hotel Penthouse.
The suite is a wreck. Alcohol bottles, room service trolleys, broken TVs, exotic animals and various drug paraphernalia litter the room. Ted is lying on the bed wearing shades surround by nude models. He removes a cigarette from a packet.
A monkey wearing a fez bounds onto the bed and lights Ted’s cigarette.
Where are you dude?
I’m cooking dude. What do you want?
Ted drags himself out of bed, wanders through the suite and opens the door to the next room. Inside is a meth lab and two people in Hazamat suits.
Hey dude. We’re supposed to be giving a speech to the United Nations in an hour.
I like totally forgot dude. Big John, can you finish up here?
The other person in the Hazmat suit nods his head. Bill and Ted leave the lab and Ted removes his suit.
Hey dude. I just have to use the bathroom first.
Ted tries to open the bathroom door but it’s locked.
Hey Bill, I can’t open the door.
Try forcing it,dude.
Ted runs at the door but it doesn’t open.
Hey Bill. Give me a hand dude.
Bill and Ted both run at the bathroom door and it bursts open. Inside is a naked man in the bathtub covered in blood with a bullet in his head.
Bill & Ted
Wait. That’s big John.
That can’t be big John we just left him in the Meth La….
Bill and Ted turn around and see a figure in a Hazmat suit. He removes his helmet. It’s Bryan Cranston
Nobody tries to muscle in on my turf.
Cranston pulls out two guns.
Bill & Ted
Cranston shoots Bill and Ted repeatedly and they slump to the floor. He removes his mobile phone and makes a call. Bill and Ted’s Telephone box time machine appears in the bathroom and Cranston steps into it.
Bill and Ted are groaning in agony on the floor. Cranston shoots them again