HOLLYWOOD – With the announcement there will be a Cocoon Reboot Ron Howard has confirmed he can no longer be bothered with new ideas for films. The Exec caught up with Hollywood’s go to director to discuss his return to the Cocoon Reboot Ron Howard franchise.
What gave you the idea for a Cocoon reboot?
Is it really an idea or is it just financial capitulation? I mean, who the fuck can bothered with coming up with new ideas that nobody gives a shit about? The way I see it, I could either make a new film and collaborate with new writers. I could discover a new story that excites me. Engage with new and upcoming actors who can brings fresh and young ideas to the art form.
That sounds exciting.
Hang on, I didn’t finish. I could do all that. Or, I could just churn out another rehashed idea from one of my so-called ‘80s classics’. I could throw Tom Hanks in as the lead, because we can do this shit with our eyes closed now. Boom, we make a few mill at the box office. Or easier still, we get those suckers at Netflix or Prime to cough up the dough. We don’t even have to bother doing press tours then.
Forgive me for saying, but isn’t that a rather jaded attitude?
I couldn’t give a shit if it is. I’m a multi-millionaire film maker that still wears baseball caps indoors. Do I look like I care? Anyway, Tom Hanks plays some rich old fucker who one day discovers these Cocoons in his pool. He gets in the pool and then BAM! He’s doing cartwheels or some shit like that. We’ll get him to run up and down a giant keyboard that lights up.
Isn’t that from Big?
Oh yeah, that’s where it comes from. Fuck it, we’ll say it’s a fun homage. He then becomes involved with a secret, mask-wearing sex cult as he goes through a crisis of confidence in his own marriage.
That’s just ripping off Eyes Wide Shut. Surely?
HOMAGE! HOMAGE, HOMAGE, HOMAGE!