EMMYS DON’T ACTUALLY EXIST

HOLLYWOOD – It was revealed today that the awards known as Emmys don’t actually exist.

For a few weeks now you’ll have noticed a lot of headlines about the Emmys and posts and articles about possible winners. However, it was revealed today that there is actually no such thing as an Emmy and the whole thing was originally invented by Italian dictator Benito Mussolini as a bizarre propaganda stunt. Emmys expert Jorden Parrahedron told the Studio Exec:

Italy knew that a war was coming and they would soon have to choose sides. Although ideologically partnered with Nazi Germany, Mussolini himself was wary of facing the combined might of the Allies and the United States. And so as a way of distracting them he had his psychological warfare unit invent the Emmys. Unfortunately for the Italians, it had no effect on the outcome of the war, but the Modern Family cast and crew have reaped the benefits for years.

The Emmys are to be announced on September 18.

MUSSOLINI WAS DONALD TRUMP’S GRANDFATHER

ROME – It was revealed today that Benito Mussolini – one time Duce of Italy and founder of the Italian Fascist Party – was in reality Donald Trump’s grandfather.

The Republican Presidential hopeful, demagogue and Reality TV star Donald Trump is directly related to Benito Mussolini, it was revealed today. Diego Zucchetto, Italian historian and political commentator, told the Studio Exec EXCLUSIVELY:

Benito Mussolini era il nonno di Trump da parte di sua madre. Lei andava nei Stati Uniti quando era piccola e non sapeva nulla di sua parentela. Comunque se guardiamo qualche foto, particolarmente quelle quando il Duce era giovane, si vede una somiglianza abbastanza notevole.

What?

Oh sorry. I said Benito Mussolini was Donald Trump’s grandfather.

Okay, right. Is there any proof?

Proof? Well, you only have to look at the photographs of the Fascist leader as a young man and there is a striking resemblance. Plus Donald Trump is in possession of no birth certificate for his mother. Plus his own political leanings are obviously inspired by his own far right bloodline.  Mussolini was also a demagogue who was given to the grand political gesture that led his country into disaster. So all in all you can see a picture emerging of  what we have to look forward to, should Donald Trump become President of the USA.

Donald Trump is currently preparing Season 11 of The Apprentice.

Image courtesy of @ThePixelFactor.