TOM HARDY TO STAR AS BLAKE IN BLAKE’S 7 MOVIE

LONDON – Tom Hardy to play Blake in film version of cult UK TV show Blake’s 7.

Fans of BBC cult show Blake’s 7 were celebrating today, when Tom Hardy announced that he would star as Blake in Blake’s 7.  He spoke EXCLUSIVELY with The Studio Exec about his long-cherished project to star in the remake of the cult sci-fi show:

I am very excited. I was a bit young to catch Blake’s 7 when it was first on, but I watched my dad’s video cassette’s of the show and fell in love. I just liked the imagination that went into it. There’s always this sense of low budget fun and wit as well.

 

It is unclear if Benedict Cumberbatch is still to direct the film.

Originally, he was going to play Avon. Paul Bettany is on board to play Villa and Cate Blanchet will play the arch-villainess Servalan. But then he’s also looking to move in to directing so I don’t know if this will be the one or not. He’s a great pal and I’d love to work with him.

According to rumors, the plot will involve Blake escaping from a prison ship with a band of other outlaws and fighting against a totalitarian force. All goes well until they land on the planet North Wales, which looks exactly like an old quarry in North Wales.

I like the idea of going to North Wales to film the planet North Wales, but apparently we’re going to use Greenland instead because that’s what everyone does now.

Blake’s 7 will be released in 2022.

TALES OF THE GOLDEN MONKEY REVIVED BY NETFLIX

HOLLYWOOD – Netflix revive 80s TV classic Tales of the Golden Monkey.

Cutter’s Goose flies again as classic TV show Tales of the Golden Monkey looks set to get the Netflix treatment. The Raiders of the Lost Ark inspired show featured Stephen Collins as Jake Cutter, an ace pilot who operates an air cargo delivery service based on the fictional South Seas island Bora Gora. He flies a red and white Grumman Goose called Cutter’s Goose. The new show will star Clive Owen as Jake and Jack Black as his best friend and mechanic Corky, ‘a good-hearted alcoholic with a memory hazy from heavy drinking’. His one-eyed dog Jack barks at appropriately comic moments.

Amy Adams is already on board to play US spy and heart throb Sarah Stickney White with Jeremy Irons playing Reverend Willie Tenboom, a phony man of the cloth who is actually a native spy. We spoke to Adam McKay, the showrunner of the series.

Affectionate Toadying

I’ve always loved the show since I was a kid growing up the 1980s. It was a great concept and had a lot of comedic and dramatic potential. It only ran for one season and it has to be one of the biggest disappointments of my life when it was cancelled. But the good news is that we have this framework all ready to go and a wealth of stories and directions to go in.  I mean there are lots of things to love about it. There’s the adventure. And there’s the romance. Obviously the alcoholic pal is hilarious and did we mention Jack the dog has an eye patch? Add to that there’s the word ‘monkey’ in the title. How could this go wrong?

The new show is only the first in a series of Netflix shows that are remaking ever more obscure TV from the 80s. Benedict Cumberbatch is already in preproduction for his Blake’s 7 series starring Tom Hardy. Though initially planned as a movie, ten episodes will now be made.

Tales of the Golden Monkey drops in 2019.

BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH’S FEET INSURED FOR £50

HOLLYWOOD – Top insurance firm have insured Benedict Cumberbatch’s feet for £50.

Sherlock and Doctor Strange actor Benedict Cumberbatch is a man of many talents. But perhaps his most widely appreciated are his feet. So much so that the actor has taken out an insurance policy with Dombey and Co Insurers to the tune of £50. We talked to Mr. Karol Dombey himself about his most famous client.

We didn’t actually know who Mr. Cumberbatch was until last Wednesday when he turned up to our offices in flip flops. When he told us he wanted his feet insured, we understood that they are apparently one of his most valuable assets.

How so?

Well, to begin with, the feet support the rest of his alabaster body and maintain its upright position which many find endearing.

And so if anything happens to his feet…?

Then we will compensate him to the tune of £50.

What if something happens to just one foot?

Then it will be £25 a foot. £50 for the set.

Does this cover just accidents or also ailments?

Ailments?

Like athlete’s foot for instance. Or an ingrowing toenail.

No. That doesn’t sound serious enough. We’re more thinking of a scything accident or a landmine. In fact both those eventualities were very specifically laid out in the policy. But athlete’s foot? I mean what’s that? It’s just itchy isn’t it? You can’t insure itchiness!

Why are his feet so valuable?

It’s a sex thing. Obvs. People look at his feet and they feel all weird. Sick and happy at the same time. Like you’ve been tickled too much.

But £50 doesn’t sound that much. I mean, he’s worth millions. 

Maybe not to you, but I’m sure you haven’t factored in the money he’d save on shoes should he lose his feet. So overall he’d be well off, should anything happen. We’re not talking penises here, after all.

I suppose not.

You suppose not.

Patrick Melrose is currently on television.

BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH TO DIRECT TOM HARDY IN BLAKE’S 7 MOVIE

HOLLYWOOD – Benedict Cumberbatch is to make his directorial debut with a big screen adaptation of BBC cult sci-fi show Blake’s 7.

Fans of BBC cult show Blake’s 7 were celebrating today, when Benedict Cumberbatch announced that he would be directing a movie of the 80s science fiction series. He spoke EXCLUSIVELY with The Studio Exec about his long-cherished project:

Of course I was a bit young for Blake’s 7 when it was first shown (1978-1981), but my uncle had them all on video cassette because he worked for the BBC and I got hooked. For me it was a little bit more sci-fi than Doctor Who, which I also loved. Blake’s 7 was just something else though.

Cumberbatch won’t be playing Blake though.

No I’ve got Tom Hardy for that role. He’s so charismatic. I’m not sure if people would believe me as that sort of leader.

But he will be acting as Ker Avon, an ambiguous member of the seven.

It is a role I’ve been dying to play my whole life. Of course, it’ll be hard to live up to Paul Darrow’s masterful performance. Paul Bettany is on board to play Villa and Cate Blanchet will play the arch-villainess Servalan.

Blake’s 7 will be released in 2019.

BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH’S REAL NAME IS GARY TANK

LONDON – Today it was revealed that Benedict Cumberbatch’s real name is Gary Tank.

Following years of speculation, the Studio Exec can EXCLUSIVELY reveal that Benedict Cumberbatch’s real name is Gary Tank. Tank changed his name to Cumberbatch when he was drunk on cider and forgot – in a cider fueled Bourneesque way – to change it back again. He confessed to Studio Exec:

I’m so sorry about this. My name embarrassed me, but when I changed it, I chose an even sillier one. How could I know it would become the name I would then have to use for the rest of my life?

However, with the Studio Exec revealing his real name, Cumberbatch has decided to change his name back to Gary Tank:

It’s my name and I should be okay with that.

Sherlock Season 4 will be the last time the actor formerly known as Gary Tank will be credited as Benedict Cumberbatch.

SHERLOCK SEASON 4 REVEALS DARK SECRET

HOLLYWOOD – The fourth season of Sherlock is set to reveal a dark secret.

Benedict Cumberbatch returns for the fourth time as the world’s most famous detective in Sherlock. This time however the sleuth has a new set of skills and a secret identity. Cumberbatch explained to the Studio Exec EXCLUSIVELY:

to begin with, I’m a rude brain surgeon, a bit like House. And then I have a car crash. I go to the East to learn how to heal my hand but instead learn to become a kind of wizard.

A wizard?

I know. It’s crazy, isn’t it? But only just in time because the world is under attack from a magical being from another dimension and I have to defend it.

What is Watson doing?

Watson?

It sounds like a real change in direction for the show.

What do you mean Sherlock we’re talking about…

At that point, the conversation was cut off by me going to get another drink and forgetting I was in the middle of a conversation.

Sherlock will be shown January 1, 2017.

DOCTOR STRANGE ACCUSED OF MALPRACTICE

HOLLYWOOD – Patient accuses Doctor Strange of medical incompetence.

Doctor Strange might be doing well at the box office but the new Marvel superhero is in trouble. Barry Snittles of South Dakota accuses the noted neurosurgeon and wizard being a bad doctor. Snittles told the Studio Exec EXCLUSIVELY:

I was having a drink in his local bar when I saw Doctor Strange sitting in a booth with a couple of friends. I took the opportunity to seek some quick medical advice. I’ve had a hemorrhoid problem for some time. At first he suggested a popular cream. I told him I had already tried that without success he became increasingly impatient. He even tried to suggest that he was actually someone else, issuing an obviously made up name – Benedict Cumberbund or Cumbersome or something. He might be a sorceror of some skill but as far as a medical man is concerned, he seems to have forgotten his Hippocratic oath.

Doctor Strange is in cinemas.

RICHARD KELLY TO DIRECT LIVE ACTION WATERSHIP DOWN

HOLLYWOOD – Donnie Darko director Richard Kelly today confirmed that his next project will be a live action version of the Richard Adams children’s classic Watership Down.

Although an animated feature of Watership Down was made in 1978, this will be the first non-animation attempt to tell the story of Blackberry, Bigwig, Fiver and Hazel and their attempt to escape the murderous ravages of Man. The Southland Tales director spoke exclusively to Studio Exec:

I’ve been a fan of Richard Adams’ book since I read it when I was eleven. And I really like the cartoon, but I wanted to see what this would really look like. Plus I do have a thing about rabbits.   

So will you be using CGI, or real rabbits?

No, no CGI at all. And using real rabbits would be tricky. So I’m going old school. I’m going to have all the rabbits played by actors dressed in rabbit suits.

Erm. Wow!?

Yeah, I know. Fantastic. Benedict Cumberbatch is playing Hazel and Andy Serkis will play Bigwig. I didn’t actually want him, but there’s something in his contract that he gets first refusal for anything stupid. 

(Since the original publication of this story in 2013 it has come to our attention that BBC and Netflix are collaborating on a remake of Richard Adams’ book starring John Boyega, James McAvoy, Ben Kingsley and Gemma Arterton. Whether or not Richard Kelly is involved in this project is unclear.)

Watership Down is slated for release in 2018. 

SIMON PEGG: ‘THE JOLLY BASTARDS ONCE MORE AT LARGE’

HOLLYWOOD – The British Ex-Pat actors club – The Jolly Bastards – is once more active, according to Simon Pegg.

Speaking EXCLUSIVELY to the Studio Exec the Star Trek and Shaun of the Dead actor Simon Pegg has revealed how the British ex-pat bad behavior club ‘The Jolly Bastards’ has once more been reconvened:

The Jolly Bastards is meeting once more in Los Angeles and has opened branches also in New York and Toronto. They get together and spread mayhem, sometimes leading directly to the damage of property and the loss of life and then escape any kind of punishment because they have such lovely accents.

Historically the Jolly Bastards were at the height of their powers in the 1980s with the likes of Rupert Everett, Charles Dance and Helena Bonham Carter ruling the Den as den mother. Following several high-profile murders in which members of the Jolly Bastards were actually found at the crime scene their hands ‘dipped in ruby gore’, as the police report stated, no one was charged due to ‘a great way with words’. More recently however fears have grown that the Jolly Bastards have returned. Benedict Cumberbatch is suspected of JB activities and when Tom Hiddleston kicked the head off of a swan in London two years ago, the Jolly Bastards were once more blamed. Emilia Clarke from Game of Thrones is supposed to be the new den mother with her lackeys committing crimes at her villainous behest.

Simon Pegg has long been outspoken about the activities of compatriots but ‘only because I want to join’ as he admitted to the Studio Exec.

DOWNEY JR. AND CUMBERBATCH IN SHERLOCK XMAS SPECIAL

LONDON – Robert Downey Jr and Benedict Cumberbatch will co-star in a Xmas Special edition of Sherlock for the BBC, written by Steven Moffat and directed by Guy Ritchie.

Writer Moffat told the Studio Exec EXCLUSIVELY about the idea of getting Cumberbatch and Downey Jr together:

We’re absolutely stoked about this opportunity. Benedict Cumberbatch and Robert Downey Jr. have given audiences an amazing pair of Sherlocks, entirely different, but entirely convincing and to see them together in an adventure is almost too exciting for words. My cerebral and witty script will be complemented by Mr. Guy Ritchie’s high octane, and slightly nonsensical action direction.

How will you explain the presence of two Sherlocks in the same world?

That’s relatively easy. It’s no secret that I also have had a hand in the new Doctor Who. Well, I’ve decided to move both the Sherlocks into the Doctor Who universe. In fact, there is a reveal that explains how it is that Sherlocks are so clever. What I’m saying is what if the Sherlocks actually had access to a machine that allowed them to travel in time and were also able to regenerate.

Sherlock Holmes is a Time Lord?

Not only a Time Lord. Why not THE Time Lord?

Doctor Sherlock Holmes will be broadcast on Christmas Day.

FIRST POSTER FOR DIE HARD 6

HOLLYWOOD – The first poster and synopsis for Die Hard 6 hit the internets today and caused a massive explosion which we walked away from without looking back.

Die Hard 6 is fast becoming a reality with the first poster, a synopsis and a photo from a key scene all becoming available EXCLUSIVELY via the Studio Exec. Bruce Willis came round to the Studio Exec bungalow personally ‘to shoot the sh*t’, but Woody Allen had just left and so we talked Die Hard 6 instead.

What will the new film be called?

We wanted to go original with this one. We’ve had the tall building, we’ve had the airport and New York. We even had cyber-space and Russia, but what we didn’t have was a winsome romantic comedy that will melt your heart and that was when we decided on Cameron Crowe as a director and Die Hard: We Bought a Zoo was born.

Amazing title. What’s the story?

It’s simple John McClane is sick of the same old shit happening to him time and time again. He really is ‘too old for this sh*t’. So he buys a farm and settles down with his first wife and new brood of kids.

That sounds like a real departure from the Die Hard formula. What…

But an international gang of East German Dentists want to shoot some trophies and the last surviving rhinoceros in the world, is in the McClane zoo. John McClane has to strap on the vest and the gun and go out and make sure those that want to destroy the zoo he bought, buy the farm! That’s one of the slogans we’re working on.die hard 6

What’s the other?

He was zoo keeping for a living. Now, he’s zoo keeping for his life!

They’re both winners.

I know, right. Benedict Cumberbatch is going to be the chief dentist and Penelope Cruz is a South American orthodontist who has a change of heart.

Die Hard: We Bought A Zoo will be released in 2017.

Images courtesy of @ThePixelFactor.

 

EVERYONE PREPARES TO LOOK SURPRISED WHEN CHRISTOPH WALTZ TURNS OUT TO BE BLOFELD

HOLLYWOOD – James Bond fans have been preparing their surprised faces when the inevitable revelation comes that Christoph Waltz is actually playing Blofeld in the new James Bond film Spectre.

Although the makers are being coy about the casting of Christoph Waltz, the chances are everybody already knows that Christoph Waltz is playing the famous recurring Bond villian Ernst Stavro Blofeld, the head of the criminal organisation Spectre, from which the new film derives its title. James Bond fan supreme C. told the Studio Exec EXCLUSIVELY:

We’re all very excited about Spectre following the success of Sam Mendes’ Skyfall and because it is introducing a key element to the Bond mythology. The name being Spectre there has to be Blofeld. Blofeld has been played in the past by Donald Pleasance and Telly Savalas, among others, and we think that Christoph… I mean whoever plays him in this version will add an illustrious name to the gallery of Bond villains. It is going to be a real shock.

Fans of James Bond and Star Trek will be able to use the face they wore to watch Benedict Cumberbatch reveal himself to be Khan in Star Trek Into Darkness.

Spectre will be released in October, 2015.

HART TO HART TO GET GAY REMAKE

HOLLYWOOD – NBC has announced that they are in the process of developing a gay remake of popular detective show Hart to Hart.

A source close to the Hart to Hart production spoke EXCLUSIVELY to the Studio Exec:

In this new era of marriage equality it is only a matter of time before we start seeing a whole raft of shows featuring same sex couples. In the new show Jonathan and Daniel Hartman, self-made millionaire and his trophy husband will solve a whole series of murders and crimes helped by their faithful manservant Maxine the Butler and their dog Freeway.

The original show featured Robert Wagner, Stephanie Powers and Lionel Stander and speculation is rife as to who will play the leads, but the money is on the renewed pairing of Benedict Cumberbatch and Martin Freeman with Lady Gaga in the role of Maxine. Rumors that Freeway will be a Chihuahua have been strongly denied.

There is a good chance that the new Hart to Hart will be only the first in a whole raft of remakes realigned to mirror changes in the acceptance and celebration of our diverse sexuality. Rumors are already circulating of a lesbian Cagney and Lacey, an aggressively gay Manimal and a completely heterosexual Dukes of Hazzard.

Hart to Hart is due for broadcast in 2017.

MICHAEL FASSBENDER AND JENNIFER LAWRENCE STAR IN HERBIE GOES BANANAS LIVE READ

LOS ANGELES – Jason Reitman’s live read of Herbie Goes Bananas was a star-studded fest for fans of everyone’s favorite VW bug with Michael Fassbender and Jennifer Lawrence taking the leads.

For many Herbie Goes Bananas is the apotheosis of all the Herbie films, beating even 1968’s The Love Bug for the quality of its writing, physical comedy, madcap direction and subtle characterization.  In the live read, Michael Fassbender played Pete, Jennifer Lawrence played Melissa and Mark Hamill played Herbie, Captain Blythe and Aunt Louise. The biggest surprise of the night was Benedict Cumberbatch who played Pringle one of a trio of villains originally played by John Vernon. Quentin Tarantino voiced the other two villains Quinn and Shepherd.

Tarantino spoke to the Studio Exec EXCLUSIVELY about the live read:

This is a wonderful new way of discovering and rediscovering films. Herbie Goes Bananas was the fourth Herbie film and a work of delightful joie di vivre, perhaps one of the best live action film Disney made. And yet behind the slapstick humor and the apparently light tone, there is a scathing satire on South American dictatorships and specifically the Pinochet regime in Chile. Herbie’s silence stands for the repressed free press and the proletariat’s revolutionary potential.

Jason Reitman explained how the reading had offered up some surprises.

Pete in the original film is just a boy but Michael Fassbender obviously gave the performance of a grown man. And Mark Hamill’s voice work was exemplary. The enthusiasm which greeted the live reading was fantastic, much better than The Empire Strikes Back read which everyone agreed was a pile of dump.

Jason Reitman’s Live Read series continues with The Cat from Outer Space.