WILL FERRELL AND JOHN C REILLY REMAKE WITHOUT A CLUE

HOLLYWOOD – Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly re-team to remake 1988 Sherlock Holmes comedy Without a Clue.

John C. Reilly and Will Ferrell are back again after their successful comic partnering in Step Brothers and Talladega Nights. The occasion is a remake of Ben Kingsley and Michael Caine comedy Without a Clue.

Ferrell told the Studio Exec EXCLUSIVELY:

We’re going to call it Holmes & Watson but it’s effectively Without a Clue 2.

What was your inspiration for taking on the world’s most famous detective?

Mostly the fact it hasn’t been done. Oh, yes you can go back to the old Basil Rathbone films but since then nothing.

What about the BBC TV show Sherlock? And Elementary?

Yes, but that’s TV.

And the Guy Ritchie film Sherlock Holmes?

Was that actually based on Sherlock Holmes. I thought it was an Iron Man prequel. The point is none of them have used humor.

But…

And so we’re going to be a completely original remake of Without a Clue.

Holmes & Watson will be released in 2017.

BEN KINGSLEY TO PLAY GANDY

LONDON – Sir Ben Kingsley has finally signed on to play the coveted role of fashion icon David Gandy in Jonathan Glazer’s long-awaited biopic, Gandy.

Kingsley, who turned down the opportunity to star in a production of King Lear at the National Theatre in order to play Gandy, has been shadowing the supermodel for the last month to prepare for the role.

“He’s an exceptional man, ” said Sir Ben:

Many people think David is just some himbo in a pair of underpants but the bloke is a visionary. After spending so much time with him recently I can honestly say that his modelling has the potential to improve the lives of every man, woman and child on the planet.

Kingsley went onto say he has been hitting the gym hard in order achieve the physical perfection Gandy is renown for:

It’s been tough. I’ve had to cut down on the cider and fags but David has been a lot of help. We spend a couple of hours training and then we massage each other with oil and have a bit of a wrestle. It’s surprisingly liberating feeling the weight of another man’s balls sliding across your back.

Meanwhile social media is bubbling with rumours about who will play the other key roles in the movie. Helen Mirren is thought to be the number one choice to play Cara Delevingne and Maggie Smith is the clear favourite to tackle the role of Kate Moss.

Gandy is due for release in 2016

NATIONAL STEVE GUTTENBERG DAY

HOLLYWOOD – The 22nd of December sees the nationwide celebration of National Steve Guttenberg Day and street parties are planned all across the US.

The Winter solstice is usually famous for inspiring John Donne poems and making everyone feel chilly, but since 1982 National Steve Guttenberg Day has shone like a beacon of hope in the National calendar, proving that even after the longest and darkest and coldest day, hope will be born anew. Celebrations are due to begin in Times Square, New York where a massive inflatable Guttenberg has been blown up by a team of volunteers. Ice sculptures of the Gutt have drawn visitors from far and wide to Fargo, North Dakota.  And later today a tiny army of microscopic Guttenbergs, who have been genetically engineered, are going to be released onto Christmas shoppers to the delight of the terrified children.

Organiser Ben Kingsley spoke to the Studio Exec:

Our aim is to raise awareness of Steve Guttenberg wherever and however we can. He was an inspiration to a whole generation of actors. You watch There Will Be Blood and ask yourself, ‘could Daniel Day Lewis have done that without Steve’s example in Three Men and a Little Lady?’ No, of course he couldn’t. Where would he have got the nerve? The technical skill.

Of course the highlight of Steve Guttenberg Day will climax with a massive firework display in San Diego, California, where Guttenberg hinself is expected to attend and where – as is traditional – he will be murdered by his own doppelgänger in a weird Golden Bough style ceremony.

For more Steve Guttenberg news CLICK HERE.

STEVE MARTIN IS BENNY HILL

 

HOLLYWOOD – Steve Martin has confirmed that his new assault on the Golden Age of Comedy – following Bilko, Father of the Bride and The Pink Panther – will be a biopic of British comedy legend Benny Hill, tentatively entitled The Hill Has Eyes (for Scantily Clad Ladies).

From his secret layer deep in the Hollywood hills, the grey haired one commented:

This project is very close to my heart. When I was growing up as a young man I would always watch Phil Silvers Peter Sellers old Spencer Tracy films the Benny Hill Show. I used to love the way he cheated the Army authorities was chased by women everywhere with his unmistakeable French accent cheeky grin. I hope in a small way this film will be a tribute to work that he and Katherine Hepburn did. 

Plot details are few but Sir Ben Kingsley is already on board in the role of Jackie Wright, the little old man who Benny would often slap patronizingly on the top of his bald head during speeded up chase scenes. Sir Kingsley said that he regarded the role as the most difficult of his career:

If you look at what Wright did, it wasn’t just being slapped on the top of the head, any jobbing comic could do that, it was the artistry, the look of subtle sadness in his eyes, which said, “this is not I being slapped on the head by Benny Hill, it is humanity being slapped on the top of the head by LIFE”! I full expect to be knighted again following this performance. And hopefully the Queen will deign to pat me on the top of the head with her sword. Ha ha ha ha!  

The Hill Has Eyes (For Scantily Clad Ladies) is due to be released in 2015.

BRUCE WILLIS CAST IN TARANTINO’S MAHATMA GANDHI KILL KILL KILL!!!

DELHI – The news on Quentin Tarantino’s new film Mahatma Gandhi Kill Kill Kill!!!  is coming in thick and fast with the announcement that Bruce Willis will appear in the lead role.

He’ll join Christoph Waltz who has already signed on as a German clergyman who shows the thin Indian the way to kick British Imperialism out of the Asian subcontinent.
Willis said that he was excited to join up once more with Tarantino with whom he had worked with on Pulp Fiction in 1994.

I think that it’s a good time in my career to move towards something a little more serious and Quentin and I have talked for years about our Gandhi movie. Whenever we met up at parties and what not, we’d huddle in a corner and talk about how we could make this inspirational figure into an ass kicking action star. 

 Are you worried about being compared to Sir Ben Kingsley’s Oscar winning performance?

Honestly no. Me and Sir Ben are different actors. We have a different style. He did the accent and the color and the peaceful wisdom. I doubt we’ll be going in that direction. I’ll be offing British toffs with a Gatling gun and saying things like ‘Pop this Jewel in your motherfucking crown!’ 

Mahatma Gandhi Kill Kill Kill!!! is due to start filming tomorrow.

For more news CLICK HERE.