HOLLYWOOD – A possible photograph of a young Donald Trump is causing waves.
An internet sensation is sweeping the internet. Someone tweeted the photograph yesterday and it has since had five likes and a retweet. Everyone is asking if this photograph is of a young Donald Trump, before he became the President Elect. Nancy Pelosi and KellyAnne Conway both believe that it could be.
‘It looks like during his hunting days,’ tweeted former-Alaska governor Sarah Palin.
Unfortunately, the viral sensation must be stopped in its tracks as the Studio Exec can EXCLUSIVELY reveal that this is actually a picture of Marc Singer from the film Beastmaster.
The President-Elect will take office in 2017.
HOLLYWOOD – The White House copy of the film Weekend at Bernie’s has gone missing, a source close to Obama administration revealed.
President Obama has long been a fan of Eighties brat pack comedy hit starring Andrew McCarthy, Jonathan Silverman and Terry Kiser. However, from Wednesday the VHS copy of the film has gone missing. A spokesperson for the White House told the Studio Exec EXCLUSIVELY:
It’s weird because the film isn’t exactly valuable. But President Obama had a conference with Hillary Clinton’s security detail and the Chiefs of the Armed Forces. We don’t know what was discussed… something about a strategy or something. The next day I couldn’t find the film.
President Obama however has refused to comment on the apparent theft and will tonight be watching Beastmaster.
HOLLYWOOD – The Beastmaster has cancelled as host of the Oscars, leading to his replacement by original choice Neil Patrick Harris.
The Beastmaster had shocked everyone by agreeing to take part in the ceremony, despite having shunned the Academy Awards for years after the biopic based on his life failed to gain any nominations. Excitement had grown to mythical proportions as it was reported that Kanye West had also agreed to appear as a co-host.
However, sources inside the Beastmaster camp reported tensions earlier in the week when it was revealed that Hawk the Slayer was no longer representing Beastmaster. There were also threats from animal rights organisations who claimed that Beastmaster’s dominance of the animal kingdom was only made possible ‘through the use of powerful psychotropic drugs and training sessions that involve what is tantamount to torture’.
Beastmaster issued a statement to the press this morning:
Due to personal issues regarding my relationship with Kiri I have decided to pull out of the Oscars. It is a real shame and I was looking forward to hearing all of Kanye’s objections to the Oscars. And Kodo and Podo really wanted to do a selfie like Ellen did, but ultimately we have to return to the realm and meet up again with the birdmen and sort out everything.
Neil Patrick Harris said that he’ll be delighted to resume his duties but was sorry that he wouldn’t have the opportunity to see Beastmaster’s unique approach to his duties:
He was going to have the prizes delivered by giraffes and sharks. I guess I’ll do my best, but I’m not surprised everyone is disappointed. So am I.
The Oscars are on later this evening.
HOLLYWOOD – In a surprise move it was revealed today that the Oscars will no longer be hosted by Neil Patrick Harris, who has moved aside to be replaced by Beastmaster.
The How I Met Your Mother star spoke EXCLUSIVELY to Studio Exec about the shift:
Of course I was really excited about the gig. I had worked on material and we were going to do song and dance numbers as well. But late Friday night the call came in that Beastmaster was going to be available after all. And the minute I heard that I acquiesced. This is a historic moment in Oscar history.
Beastmaster had been approached in the early 1980s to host the Oscars but had consistently refused claiming that the awards ceremony was an infantile way of judging a medium which ‘should aspire to artistic relevance and genuine profundity, not these feeble trinkets’. Despite this the Academy continued to woo Beastmaster for three decades claiming that ‘What with the animal demographic alone, he could make the show a spectacular success.’
Beastmaster was born in a realm of fantasy and despite living the humble life of a hero and demi-God, he gained fame in 1982 when he was the subject of the film Beastmaster starring Marc Singer. Two sequels and a TV series followed, but lately Beastmaster’s powers have been on the wane. Uma Thurman, a longstanding critic of Beastmaster told Studio Exec:
I met Beastmaster when we were making Kill Bill Volume 2. He was great buddies with David Carradine and he came on location. It was sad really. This guy had commanded lions and mountain wolves, eagles and bison. Now he had this little otter on a string that he’d jerk and pretend was coming to his summons. It was pathetic.
What do you think of him presenting the Oscars?
Oh that’ll be great. He’ll bring his A game, I’m sure.
The Oscars will be broadcast on Sunday.