ROLAND EMMERICH’S BARRY LYNDON GREENLIT

MOVIE NEWS – In the wake of the Moonfall publicity, Roland Emmerich’s Barry Lyndon has been greenlit. It is due to start shooting in the spring. Roland Emmerich’s Barry Lyndon isn’t a combo that immediately comes to mind, so we spoke to the director about his next project.

Roland, What Made You Choose Barry Lyndon?

You mean The Luck Of Barry Lyndon. I’ve always been a fan of William Thackeray’s work, which is evident from my movies. I know people have been crying out for me to finally tackle this perfect fit. With the forecast numbers of Moonfall looking so good, I managed to get this signed off.

Isn’t It Daunting Making A Film That Will Always Be Compared To Kubrick’s Masterpiece?

Masterpiece? You mean snooze-fest. It takes such liberties with the source material. I can’t recognize it as an adaptation of the book I so dearly love.

Apart From The Lack Of 1st Person Narrative, How Does It Differ That Much?

You’re kidding me, aren’t you? I think we must have read different books. The film is this turgid study of people standing in candle-lit rooms, staring at each other. Every now and then he goes off to a war or duels. But otherwise, back into candle-lit rooms and back to staring at each other. I mean, fuck me, it’s awful. We’re going to tell the real story of The Luck Of Barry Lyndon.

Which Is?

So when Barry joins the Prussian Army, he uncovers an alien conspiracy that threatens not just this world, but the entire galaxy. So Barry builds a spaceship with the aid of some alien tech he finds in Barn 51, near Dusseldorf. He then zooms up into space to try and destroy the alien mothership, which is hiding behind Mars. And then-

For God’s Sake Man. Just Stop. STOP!

Moonfall Is Currently Showing In Cinemas.

WAS STANLEY KUBRICK MURDERED?

LONDON – A new book asks the question: Was Stanley Kubrick murdered?

Stanley Kubrick‘s life was surrounded by a miasma of legend and rumor. His films are the rich breeding ground for OCD analysis, OCD analysis and some more OCD analysis; and now his death has become the subject of  a new book by Hardy Mantellance – Who Killed Stanley Kubrick?

The Stanley Kubrick scholar claims that the Spartacus director was done in by a fatal confluence of Masonic Satanism, poison and an unbalanced man who had been fatally damaged by watching Barry Lyndon every night for eighteen years. 

I spoke to Hardy Mantellance in her West London home. 

Stanley Kubrick suffered a myocardial infarction in his sleep shortly after completing Eyes Wide Shut. A myocardial infarction is relatively simple to provoke with the use of poison. Who do we know who uses poisons in all his films and had a deadly rivalry with Stanley Kubrick?  Steven Spielberg.

But Spielberg was Stanley Kubrick’s friend!

Until they began to develop the script for AI together, at which point a deadly enmity grew between them over the creative disagreement. Kubrick wanted to make a ‘good film’. After Kubrick’s death no one was there to stop Spielberg from making a ‘bad film’, exactly as he had always wanted.   

So you’re accusing Oscar winner Steven Spielberg of murder?

That’s what they want you to think.

Who’s they?

The Saturn Death Cult who Kubrick had so brilliantly exposed in Eyes Wide Shut. The Saturn Death Cult are a secret group made up of the elite from business, politics and celebrity. They perform ritual sex orgies which culminate in human sacrifice and their members include that old enemy of Stanley Kubrick, Jack Nicholson.

What?

The night Kubrick died Nicholson was overheard to say at a Lakers game, ‘We did it!’ At the time people thought he was referring to the Lakers victory, but it was only afterwards some right minded folk realised he was actually referring to the successful conspiracy to do away with the man who had forced Nicholson to say ‘Here’s Johnny!’ 78 times, even though his name is actually Jack.

So Nicholson murdered Kubrick?

Ha ha, how innocent you are! But ask yourself this, if Nicholson killed Kubrick, why was Nicole Kidman unable to contain her tears on the Eyes Wide Shut featurette?

Because she was sad at the passing of a man she admired.

Those were tears of joy. Following the orders of her Svengali like husband – Tom Cruise – whose own religious cult Scientology had just signed a pact with the Saturn Death Cult worth billions of dollars, Nicole Kidman had baked some cupcakes which were laced with a powerful chemical provided by Steven Spielberg and concocted in his ‘Temple of Doom’ laboratory deep in the Hollywood hills and placed in a Tupperware container bought from a Kmart by Jack Nicholson on the twenty fifth anniversary of the Apollo moon landings, moon landings which were faked convincingly by Stanley Kubrick who was as a reward given the right to make any film he liked, even Barry Lyndon.

The fact would be exposed in Capricorn One directed by Peter Hyams, whose silence was bought by being given the apparently peach job of making a sequel to 2001: a Space Odyssey, but the peach proved to be a poison apple and the film – 2010: the Year We Make Contact – was a critical disaster. Hyams (who grew up two doors down from Ryan O’Neal) spent the rest of his life watching Barry Lyndon on a loop and plotting revenge, a revenge that was only made possible by a coincidental meeting with Malcolm McDowell, the actor made famous by A Clockwork Orange, but who Stanley Kubrick had humiliated when he once, June 7th, 1978, asked if Malcolm had lost any weight, knowing full well that Malcolm had not. 

So Peter Hyams, Malcolm McDowell, Steven Spielberg, Nicole Kidman, Tom Cruise, the Church of Scientology,  Jack Nicholson and the Satan Death Cult all conspired to kill Stanley Kubrick?

It would be comforting to think so, wouldn’t it? But the truth is actually a lot darker. Shelley Duvall…

At this point my recording device cut out and the rest of the interview is lost. Coincidence? I don’t know. 

Hardy Mantellance’s Who Killed Stanley Kubrick? is available from Amazon and all good book stores.

MICHAEL BAY IS TO REMAKE BARRY LYNDON

HOLLYWOOD – Michael Bay plans to remake Stanley Kubrick’s Barry Lyndon.

Barry Lyndon is a classic of cinema and will finally get a remake. Transformers and Pearl Harbor director Michael Bay plans to remake Stanley Kubrick’s adaptation of William Thackery’s novel of the same name. Longtime Kubrick fan, Bay spoke EXCLUSIVELY with the Studio Exec:

I love all of Kubrick’s work, but Barry Lyndon for me is the film that most completely sums up the potential of cinema. It is a subtle and beautiful, frequently moving achievement. Technically masterful, there is a tone of melancholy about the story of the young Irish rogue who rises through the English aristocracy only to fall again. The composition, the use of light and color, the performances. The great use of Thackery’s own words in Michael Horden’s narration… everything is almost cinematic perfection.

So what are you going to bring to the remake?

First of all, my version is going to be updated. Set in 2018, Andrew Garfield plays Barry. He comes to Los Angeles just as massive robots invade the Earth. Bang, bang, crash, crash. Candlelight. You get the picture.

Barry Lyndon: 2018 will be released in 2018.

5 FACTS YOU NEVER KNEW ABOUT STANLEY KUBRICK

HOLLYWOOD – Stanley Kubrick still continues to have a massive influence on the world of Cinema today, but what do we really know about the director who brought us the Monolith, wrote Singing in the Rain and always directed films with his Eyes Wide Shut?

The Studio Exec FACT squad was sent to the archives to find out everything there is to know about the reclusive genius called Stanley Kubrick and this is what they found.

1. Stanley Kubrick probably wasn’t murdered (CLICK HERE for the theory). Although there have been many theories about his sudden demise, including ideas about the Illuminati being angry about Eyes Wide Shut revealing their secrets, the cause of Stanley Kubrick’s death look like being entirely natural.

2. Stanley Kubrick first made his name as a photographer in New York for Time Magazine among others. He first got the idea to become a movie director when he was holding a bunch of photographs together that he had just developed and by flipping through them saw that he had in fact invented cinema. Disconcerted that he was about fifty years too late, he decided to do the next best thing and reinvent it as a film director. He started filming noirish crime thrillers, but soon turned his attention to Lolita which he mistakenly believed to be porn. Ironically the same thing would happen on three more occasions with Spartacus, Dr. Strangelove and Barry Lyndon.

3. All Stanley Kubrick’s films are based on novels or short stories, even though Stanley himself couldn’t read or write and even had to have basic concepts such as ‘handle’, ‘discotheque’ and ‘cheese cake’ described to him by kindly friends. To choose a project Kubrick would cover himself in marmalade and have assistants throw novels at him until one stuck to his marmalade smeared body: hence the Hollywood phrase ‘Marmalade debate’. The Clockwork Orange was chosen because as a thin book – almost a novella – it lodged between his buttocks having been thrown like a Shuriken by Anthony Burgess himself.

4. 2001: a Space Odyssey was initially supposed to have much more dialogue and a voice-over, explaining the plot and the scientific background to the film, but Arthur C. Clarke had a very annoying voice and it was replaced at the last minute by classical music. The speaking monkeys from the first fifteen minutes of the movie were also scrapped and this footage has long been sought, as legendary as the Dr. Strangelove custard pie fight and the famous Full Metal Jacket animated sequence where Matthew Modine sings about Indochina to a bunch of curious chipmunks, later the inspiration for Alvin and the Chipmunks.

5. Stanley Kubrick invented the beard. Prior to Kubrick men could grow mustaches that they weaved under their chins to create the illusion of beardedness, or they used back hair brought forward, if they had no mustaches. Kubrick was given beard growing technology by NASA as a thank you present for faking the moon landing film. They also helped him film The Shining by providing him with real ghosts.

For more FACTS click HERE.

FULL CANNES LINE-UP INCLUDES ONLY FILMS FROM 1970S

PARIS – This morning 11 am Paris time, the full line-up for the 68th Cannes Film Festival was announced, which will break with tradition by only featuring films made in the 1970s.

Outgoing president Thierry Frémaux said that usually the film festival shows exclusively new films:

The whole raison d’être of Cannes is to promote world cinema in its current form, but recently we’ve been looking around and it’s pitiful. So we decided in order to ensure ten days of creme de la creme cinema we thought why not use films that we know are good for sure.

The full list contains The Conversation, Chinatown, Deliverance, Taxi Driver, Barry Lyndon, Aguirre Wrath of God, Dog Day Afternoon, Days of Heaven, Le Cercle Rouge, Picnic at Hanging Rock, The Big Bus, Solaris and The Spy Who Loved Me.

Pierre Lescure, the new Cannes president, said that it was an exciting time for Cannes:

We’re really pleased to have such outstanding film-makers such as Stanley Kubrick and Terrence Malick included in this year’s competition. Hopefully one of the famous recluses will make a surprise appearance!

Defending the lack of women directors in the list, Lescure shrugged and blew air through his lips.

C’est la vie! It was the seventies.

Cannes will take place from the 13th to the 24th of May, 2015. 

3 ‘NEW’ KUBRICK FILMS TO BE RELEASED

LONDON – Three brand new Stanley Kubrick films are due to be released in the next five years, according to film producer and long-time Kubrick collaborator Jan Harlan.

The films – which have been prepared from the thousands of feet of unused footage and using earlier drafts of scripts – will officially be credited to Kubrick as director. Jan Harlan, who was also Mr. Kubrick’s brother-in-law, spoke exclusively to the Studio Exec:

Stanley always shot enough footage for every film to make two or three films on top of the one released. Many of these shots were simply repetitions of the same scenes, with slight variations. But some of this footage represented a wildly different version which can be pieced together into what is effectively a different film. Three films in fact.

The films to be released are: 

1. The Shindig: Reconstructed from an earlier draft of the classic Stephen King horror novel, The Shindig comes from the alternative takes Stanley Kubrick made Jack Nicholson do of The Shining in a lilting Irish accent.

JH: ‘The Shindig really is a delightful family comedy in which Jack O’Torrance arranges a party for all the old ghosts and magical topiary animals, helped by his son Danny and his invisible friend Tony, played by Frank Oz. It will challenge the views of everyone who thought of Kubrick as a pessimist.’

 2. Barry Rock On: The Thackery novel was originally filmed as a stellar rock opera, but after some abysmal test screenings, Kubrick got cold feet and took out all the songs, replacing them with a dour Michael Horden voice over.

JH: ‘BRO is wonderful 18th Century Rock Opera and a testament to its times, with performances by Shakin’ Stevens, Abba, The Sweet and Queen, who reused the theme song from the film ‘Barry (Saviour of the Universe)’ for the Flash theme.’

 3. Eyes Wide Open: Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman play self-made millionaires and private detectives Jonathan and Jennifer Hart who one winter in New York, find themselves in the midst of a conspiracy.

JH: ‘The funny thing here is our Hart to Hart reboot, the one you’ll see now, was the actual film Stanley intended to release, and therefore would have been his last film. However, Stanley had never acquired the rights, assuming he would get them later. When the film was complete, it turned out that Robert Wagner bitterly hated Stanley because he thought A Clockwork Orange wasn’t violent enough. With a deadline looming, Stanley had to re-cut the film and obfuscate or eliminate any reference to Hart to Hart, all in a mere two weeks, which explains the weirdness that Eyes Wide Shut became.  

For more Kubrick news click HERE.

STANLEY KUBRICK

ENGLAND -The first time I met Stanley Kubrick I was walking down a corridor at Shepperton and I saw the Master approaching from the coffee machine. ‘Hello, Mr. Kubrick,’ I said.

‘Come again.’ ‘Hi,’ I said. ‘One more time,’ he changed angle. ‘Good morning?’ I said. ‘Again.’ – The bastard kept me at it for another 59 takes and in the end he used the first one.

This was to be my relationship with the Stanley-oid, as he loved his friends to call him. It was close, intense, fiery and highly competitive. George C. Scott had already warned me that Stanley was a great chess player and had trounced him (and Scotty is no slouch) all the way through the making of Dr Strangelove.

Of course, I was not much good at the game but I knew I had somehow to keep in hand while we were making the 90 minute caper film The Silly Irish Sausage for Warners. So I brought along a game I knew he couldn’t resist Ker-Plunk. What I didn’t know was just how seriously Stan the man, would fall for the game even ringing Mattel and getting them to send over their best Ker-Plunk designer to talk about a movie version. Again and again we played while vital decisions about the progress of the film were often offered up as bets on the outcome.

And that is how The Silly Irish Sausage became Barry Lyndon

(This extract was taken from the forthcoming book Lunches with Assholes: How Films Get Made due out for Xmas