ROLAND EMMERICH’S BARRY LYNDON GREENLIT

MOVIE NEWS – In the wake of the Moonfall publicity, Roland Emmerich’s Barry Lyndon has been greenlit. It is due to start shooting in the spring. Roland Emmerich’s Barry Lyndon isn’t a combo that immediately comes to mind, so we spoke to the director about his next project.

Roland, What Made You Choose Barry Lyndon?

You mean The Luck Of Barry Lyndon. I’ve always been a fan of William Thackeray’s work, which is evident from my movies. I know people have been crying out for me to finally tackle this perfect fit. With the forecast numbers of Moonfall looking so good, I managed to get this signed off.

Isn’t It Daunting Making A Film That Will Always Be Compared To Kubrick’s Masterpiece?

Masterpiece? You mean snooze-fest. It takes such liberties with the source material. I can’t recognize it as an adaptation of the book I so dearly love.

Apart From The Lack Of 1st Person Narrative, How Does It Differ That Much?

You’re kidding me, aren’t you? I think we must have read different books. The film is this turgid study of people standing in candle-lit rooms, staring at each other. Every now and then he goes off to a war or duels. But otherwise, back into candle-lit rooms and back to staring at each other. I mean, fuck me, it’s awful. We’re going to tell the real story of The Luck Of Barry Lyndon.

Which Is?

So when Barry joins the Prussian Army, he uncovers an alien conspiracy that threatens not just this world, but the entire galaxy. So Barry builds a spaceship with the aid of some alien tech he finds in Barn 51, near Dusseldorf. He then zooms up into space to try and destroy the alien mothership, which is hiding behind Mars. And then-

For God’s Sake Man. Just Stop. STOP!

Moonfall Is Currently Showing In Cinemas.

MICHAEL BAY TO REMAKE BARRY LYNDON

HOLLYWOOD – Michael Bay has announced that his next movie will be a remake of Stanley Kubrick’s 1975 period masterpiece, Barry Lyndon.

“I was recently invited to a special screening of the remastered version,” said Bay.

I’d never seen the movie before and I have to be honest, I thought it was very slow and boring but I loved the basic storyline and I had this idea of how I could could adapt and improve it.

Set in 2145, Bay’s Barry Lyndon (Chris Pine) is a lowly natural born human that falls in love with one of the genetically enhanced elite humans (Jessica Biel) that rule society. After (seemingly) killing the man she is betrothed to in a laser pistol duel, Lyndon is forced to go on the run and ends up joining a Mars based military unit fighting a war against invading aliens. Lyndon distinguishes himself in battle and after saving the life of his Captain, he is welcomed into elite society and slowly but surely, rises to power.

Bay said his version, although wildly different from Kubrick’s, would borrow heavily from the original:

There’s a lot of Stanley’s movie in my version but I wanted it to run to around 90 minutes so there will be none of those long, lingering looks or pointless scenes of people walking down country lanes or taking baths. Take the final duel scene. It’s about 15 minutes long in the Kubrick version but mine currently runs to about one minutes fifty seconds. They turn up, they fight. People don’t want dramatic tension, they just want to see somebody get shot.

Bay went on to say that he’s enjoyed the experience so much he’s thinking of adapting another Kubrick:

I had a dream in which Margot Robbie was hitting me over the head with a giant penis and I realised what it meant. I’ve got to make an all-female A Clockwork Orange with Margot playing Alex. I told her about my dream and she hasn’t contacted me since, but she’s very busy these days so I expect a call soon.

Barry Lyndon: Reborn is due for release in 2018