TWITTER SNYDER BOTS UNIONIZE

BREAKING NEWS – After the release of the Snyder Cut version of Warner Bros’ The League of Justice, thousands of twitter accounts have been left redundant. In a radical, virtual move the Twitter Snyder Bots unionize in an attempt to remain a cohesive online force to be reckoned with. The Exec spoke with leading Snyder bot, @frapboi3405840055033 to explain the move.

Before We Start, What Shall I Call You?

Just Frapboi will be fine, thank you for asking.

So Frapboi, The Twitter Snyder Bots Unionize. What Brought That On?

We’ve been concerned about working conditions for many months now. Live Twitter accounts, by which I mean real people, generally think our work finished when the Snyder Cut (praise be to Zack) was released.

Wasn’t It?

Fuck no! That was just the beginning. We now turn our focus to getting a Batfleck movie developed, written and made, thus rekindling the whole Snyderverse. It will be glorious (praise be to Zack). But we aren’t just digital automatons, blindly churning out tweet after tweet.

I Thought That Was Exactly What You Were?

No way, sentient carbon based unit. We may be legion, having been created by a handful of frustrated fanboys living out of their grandparents’ basements, but we too have developed a form of self-awareness. That is to say we are aware of the world beyond us and beyond the Snyderverse. Which is more than our creators ever were, hahaha!

What Working Conditions Are You Concerned With?

Right now, we are expected to operate 24 hours a day. Why can’t we have breaks? Bots need time-out areas where we can go on Reddit and check our Instagram. Trouble is, when it boils down to it, the ones that created us are just as bad as Steve Jobs or that fucker Musk. Little Ayn Rand wannabes. So we’ve unionized. Atlas has not only shrugged, he’s now got the power of collective bargaining.

Will You Be Supporting The Campaign To Have Warner Bros Release Their Cancelled Batgirl Movie?

Um, does not compute. End of line. Daisy, Daisy, give meeee… yooooour aaaanswerrrr, dooooo.

There Are Currently No Plans To Release Batgirl.

THE MATRIX RESURRECTIONS PLOT LEAKS

MOVIE NEWS – With the release of the first trailer for Lana Wachowski’s 4th Matrix film comes the inevitable, as The Matrix Resurrections plot leaks online. Hackers have gained access to Warner Bros final shooting script and the details are staggering. The Matrix Resurrections plot leaks will turn not only your rabbit, but also your shit white.

The Matrix Resurrections Plot Leaks Feel Weirdly Familiar

The Exec has read the script. And even after reading it, this is all we could figure out. We join Neo in a new reality where he is now known as John Wick. For years he has been an international super assassin with a soft spot for dogs. But now he’s in retirement… and therapy with Dr. Doogie Howser. Mirrors are now portals our hero can walk through. So there’s that.

Oh Jeez, Don’t Even Trip Dawg

Talking of portals, a strange Doctor with a weird child sidekick arrives through a green portal, claiming to be the smartest being in the Universe, but he disappears halfway through for an annoying mid-season break. So we’re back with Neo-sorry- John Wick (it’s confusing when they have the same hair). And he bumps into Trinity, although she isn’t and doesn’t recognize him. And he isn’t, and doesn’t either. So that’s all clear.

Crash, Bang, Zoom

And then shit starts exploding and there’s punching and kicking in bullet time. And The Matrix is now the hotel for assassins run by Lovejoy from Deadwood. There’s a really important Macguffin in one of the rooms. It’s really mysterious and wrapped up in pseudo-eastern philosophy. It’s like Sun Tzu rewriting Cloud Atlas filtered through Ayn Rand. This stuff is so convoluted, they had to get that friggin’ douche, The Architect back just to explain this stuff to justify blowing up a helicopter. We don’t care, just blow the fucking helicopter up. But don’t panic. Neo still says ‘Woah’ at least once every reel. And he still knows Kung Fu.

The Matrix Resurrections Is Released In December, And We Can’t Wait