CAMERON ANNOUNCES TITANIC 2, 3, 4 & 5

HOLLYWOOD – Avatar and Terminator director, James Cameron announces Titanic 2, 3, 4 & 5 will all go into production shortly. The news that James Cameron announces Titanic 2, 3, 4 & 5 means that he will be shooting movies for fifteen years. The Studio Exec caught up with the director on the set of his latest film, Avatar 4: Ably Obtaining The Unobtainable Unobtanium.

Where Did You Get The Idea For Titanic 2, 3, 4 & 5?

As you know, I’m not one for chasing money. Usually I abhor such lavish productions. But I was floating in my gigantic flooded underwater sound studio one day and Boom! I had a little idea. People pay a lot of money to watch any old shit. So I put 2 and 2 billion together and came up with an idea for a Titanic sequel. Actually, a whole fucking series of them.

Can You Tell Us Anything About The Plot?

Of course I can. I’m KING OF THE WORLD! We join marine biologist, Sarah Connor as she travels to the middle of the Atlantic Ocean. There she boards a submarine and joins an underwater oil drilling crew. Together, they will stumble across something that will shock everyone.

It’s Aliens, Isn’t It?

Yeah, but not nice watery ones. These ones come in big slimy eggs. Guess what happens then? Go on, guess. You’ll never get it.

If You Say Chestburster, James Cameron, So Help Me I’m Leaving.

No, I wasn’t going to say that at all. I don’t know what you’re talking about.

Don’t Lie To The Exec, James. You’re Full Of Shit.

Honest! I wasn’t going to say that.

Ok Then. My Apologies. Please Continue.

These killer robots are sent back in time to kill Leonardo DiCaprio, Kate Winslet and Sarah Connor. And then-

 

This Interview Is Over.

Avatar: The Way Of Water Is Released This Coming December.

NEW AVATAR MOVIE TO BE RELEASED THE DAY AFTER YOU DIE

HOLLYWOOD – James Cameron announces the release date for Avatar 2 to be: the day after you die.

The sequel to blockbusting sci-fi epic Avatar finally gets a release date. James Cameron in an EXCLUSIVE interview with The Studio Exec talks Avatar sequels.

We’ve been working on Avatar non-stop since we wrapped on the first one. But the concepts are just so big. The entire world we want to create with Pandora is so ambitious. Sometimes I think that getting into this whole thing has been like opening a Pandora’s b… oh wait that’s good. I’ve never thought of that before.

So you have the release dates?

Yes, provisionally yes. We’re planning to release the films the day after you die.

What?

Absolutely. It’s a new release model. Experimental in its way but I think you’ll agree astonishing.

You’re so innovative.

I know.

So I’ll never see it because I’m dead. Is that it?

Yes. And that’s true for everybody.

One question.

Shoot.

Will Sam Worthington be in it?

Yes.

Okay. Then I’m good. 

Gotcha.

Avatar 2 will be released the day after you die.

JAMES CAMERON TALKS AVATAR SEQUELS

HOLLYWOOD – James Cameron has been talking exclusively to Studio Exec about his Avatar sequels due to start filming later this year and will – he confirmed – be filmed in 125 FPS ‘as a kind of fuck you to Peter Jackson’.

‘So the Avatar sequels?’ James Cameron leans back in his chair and says:
When we did the first film, I was really inspired by Kevin Costner’s work in Dances with Wolves. I remember seeing that film and thinking how much better it would have been if it had been in 3D, on another planet and most everyone had been blue. So when I sat down to start my script on A2 I figured let’s got to the well again.

So can you give us any details?

Well, let’s just say that we’re on Pandora again with Jake (played by Sam Worthington), but now he’s down on his luck. Neytiri (played by Zoe Saldana), on the other hand, has actually become a really famous pop star – they now have pop as part of their culture – anyways, she’s a famous pop star and ironically it turns out that Jake becomes her phantteeveezi or what we call a ‘bodyguard’.

Wow. That’s kind of similar to…

I know, I know. Isn’t it great? But everyone’ll be blue and it’ll be in 3D and on Pandora.

And there are rumours you’re prepping Avatar 3, is that true?

Yeah, we want to film them back to back for budgetary reasons. We haven’t completed the script but I already have a treatment for A3. I don’t want to give away any spoilers.

Okay but broadly?

Well, Jake’s a bit older. And he now works as a lawyer. When the Na’vi President J’ohn Fi’rld Knn’di is assassinated, Jake begins to suspect a conspiracy.

Don’t you worry Kevin Costner might sue you?

No, Kevin’s a sweet guy and dumb as a stump. Did you see Tin Cup? Sheez. 

Avatars will be released in 2017.

3D WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A JOKE, ADMITS JAMES CAMERON

HOLLYWOODJames Cameron admitted today in a shock revelation that will undoubtedly rock the whole of Hollywood that the reintroduction of 3D was actually the result of an off-the-cuff remark, which was supposed to be a joke.

The Avatar “visionary” is famous for his hilarious sense of humor and is only challenged by Woody Harrelson for the crown as king of the Hollywood practical jokers.

Bill Paxton tells the story:

This was a couple of years after Titanic and everyone was hanging on Jimmy’s every word, all the top brass at the studios, anything he said they would jump to do because as far as they could see he was golden. One evening we’re eating out at thisJapanese restaurant and he challenges me. He says “What is the most ridiculous thing that I can ask for?” So I think and then I say “3D”.

The Piranha 2: The Spawning director and the Twister actor laughed over their sushi, but Jimmy Cameron took up the gauntlet. ‘I was amazed when I first heard that Avatar was going to be in 3D,’ the Paxo man recalls. ‘But then it became unstoppable. The irony is Jimmy hates 3D as much as anyone else.’

With arguments raging about expensive equipment, exorbitant ticket prices, reduced luminosity and silly glasses, the erstwhile King of the World has finally decided to come clean.

‘I didn’t mean it to go so far but really, you’re all too gullible. You have to remember I’m, the guy who put Arnie Schwarzenegger in a 007 kind of role. I’m the guy who made out like Michael Biehn was an actor. Come on, seriously. How could you take anything I said at face value?’

Is it true that you yourself don’t like 3D?

‘It’s like those theaters we used to make out of cereal boxes when we were kids. It’s embarrassingly bad. A series of flat surfaces. It looks flatter than 2D for crying out loud,’ Cameron starts shouting, his lips flecked with spit. ‘Why do you think I keep going down to the bottom of the ocean? It’s the only place I can go and have a really good laugh at you assholes.’

Avatar 2 and 3 are due out sometime in the next decade.

AVATAR SEQUELS TO BE IN 1D

MARIANA TRENCH – James Cameron has revealed today that the Avatar sequels – provisionally entitled Avatar 2, Avatar 3, and Avatar 4 – will be released in 1D, a revolutionary new viewing experience which is utterly deprived of depth and nuance.

Former King of the World James Cameron could hardly contain his excitement speaking about the new technology:

With the first film we almost got there and I have to give Sam Worthington all the credit. The man is so one dimensional a performer, he has to be genuinely careful when he walks over grating.

What are the benefits of this new viewing experience? 

It means there is no clutter of depth. People who already have problems with depth perception will find the new films easy to watch. The plot if shallow, the characters have no interiority – they’re basically cardboard cut outs of generic types – and any political subtext is actually just out and out text.

Amazing! 

Isn’t it? The story will be predictable and the special effects will be so-so. It’s going to be fantastic.

So why have you abandoned 3D?

3D was always supposed to be a joke (Click Here for that story). I was always surprised and then more than a little embarrassed when it had such a big effect, but I didn’t take into account the ludicrous price hike that it would bring in. 

And following Avatar, what are your plans?

That will take us a long way into the future but after that I really want to change direction. And I’ve been talking with the studio about directing a sequel to Spielberg’s Schindler’s List. My script is already done.

Avatar 2, Avatar 3 and Avatar 4 will be released in 2015, 2016 and 2017 and Schindler’s Lists will be released in 2018.

RON HOWARD ANNOUNCES 36 NEW PROJECTS



HOLLYWOOD – Critics are already hailing Ron Howard‘s new F1 film, Rush, as a triumph, even though it doesn’t open for another couple of weeks in the UK and at the end of the month in the US.

The movie tells the dramatic true story of the 1976 Formula One title battle between bitter rivals James Hunt (Chris Hemsworth) and Niki Lauda (Daniel Brühl).


Universal Pictures, buoyed by the critical reception, are so confident of the film’s success that they have already ‘rushed’ to sign Ron Howard to direct movies based on every Formula One season since, from 1977 to 2012; a potential 36 films!

An exhausted but elated Howard said, “Well, I guess there are some exciting stories to tell within those 36 seasons. Some of them were a little boring in places but I’m sure we can make them thrilling through the magic of cinema!”

When asked how long it would take to shoot and edit all these films, Howard answered, “Not as long as you’d think! Many of the same drivers competed in many consecutive seasons, in the same cars with the same teams, so ideally we can shoot many of them back-to-back. I reckon I can make about three of these films a year. I’m 59 now so at that rate I’ll be 71 by the time I’m done with these movies! It’s going to keep me pretty busy, that’s for sure!”

If Howard’s 36 films are a success then Universal may turn their attention to the many F1 seasons that preceded 1976, dating all the way back to 1950. If all these projects go ahead, it would mean that Howard has been signed for a staggering total 63 films!

James Cameron is the only other Hollywood directer committed to so many future projects, beating Ron Howard’s potential total with his impressive slate of 123 planned Avatar sequels.

Rush (1-36) will be released over the next few years.