TERRENCE MALICK’S BOND SCRIPT LEAKS ONTO INTERNET

HOLLYWOOD – Everyone knew that Terrence Malick‘s new James Bond film provisionally entitled The Tree of Wonderful Glory Bangs would be different.

With Leonard Cohen and Arvo Part collaborating on the theme song and Daniel Craig boning up on his Heidegger, the chances were Terrence Malick was going to head in a totally new direction. However, now with the leaking onto the internet of a 600 page draft of Malick’s finished script it has become clear that his Bond is going to be like nothing you have ever seen before. Read after the jump some choice extracts from the script.

EXT. PARADISE – DAY
Paradisial expanse of lush grassland. Dinosaurs and unicorns frolic.

EXT. WATERFALL – DAY

Water falls from a water fall. 

EXT. BEACH -TWILIGHT

M. walks towards camera past camera. Looks back wistful. She is dead and has therefore gone to the beach.

BOND (v.o.)
M? Mother? Who are you that sends me on these missions?
 
INT. LONDON WHITEHALL OFFICE EVENING

Bond sits at his desk looking thoroughly miserable. Miss Moneypenny comes in. No words. She dances around the room and together they discover the beautiful fall of the failing sun reflected on the wood paneling of the windowsill. They cry. 

MONEYPENNY (V.O.)
Why? Who sent us hear? Who invented this love that we call love but other people don’t call love and don’t love it as much as us lovers of love do? Was it you?

 

 
INT. CHURCH – MAGIC HOUR
Javier Bardem dressed as a priest.
PRIEST
Jesus is great. Really top class. 
EXT. VENICE
Bond admires the church architecture and takes note of the glittering sunlight on the canal water.
BOND (whispering)
Where am I? Who am I?
Venice explodes.
 
EXT. BEACH TWILIGHT
Bond dances past M on the beach.
M.
What happened?
BOND
What happens? Happens?
 
EXT. DINOSAURS
More dinosaurs. 
 
FINIS

The Tree of Wonderful Glory Bangs will be released in 2015.
 
   

TERRENCE MALICK TO DIRECT BOND 25

HOLLYWOOD – Although Spectre hasn’t yet been released talk is already rife about the follow up Bond film, known simply as Bond 25.

Daniel Craig recently confirmed that he would be signing on for another two Bond films, which will make him the third most Bond of the Bond actors to have played Bond, after Roger Moore and Sean Connery.

A massive explosion of news on Bond 24 came with the confirmation that Terry ‘The Machine’ Malick will be taking on directorial duties for the latest installment of the most popular action franchises in cinema history. Malick first made his name with Badlands back in 1973 and then became notorious for the time between projects: there was a gap of some twenty years between Days of Heaven (1978) and The Thin Red Line (1998). 

Daniel Craig greeted the announcement with some confusion: ‘Are you sure?’ he asked. However, the producers have made a habit of taking directors from smaller independent films and giving them the reigns: Sam Mendes being the latest example of this.

Although Malick has not himself commented on this latest project, a spokesperson close to him said that ‘Terry is looking forward to exploring 007’s spiritual dimension. There will be guns, gadgets and girls, but there will also be whispered voice overs imploring an ineffable god for signs of grace as well as magic hour photography and perhaps even a dinosaur or two.’


Estonian composer Arvo Part has also been added to the team to provide a stirring minimalist soundtrack. The film is not due for release until at the earliest 2016 and so time enough for Terry (at his current rate) to make another 6 or 7 films.

BREAKFAST WITH ASSHOLES 5: TERRENCE MALICK

Bran, fruit, hot milk, Heidegger, Jaegermeister and coco-pops

Terry Malick famously doesn’t give interviews, but he does eat breakfast, and Studio Exec was invited over to Malick HQ to break bread with the great man during magic hour and finally ask him some questions. He was out on the heli-pad waving flares even though I’d told him on the phone I would be arriving by car. He threw the flare into a sand bucket and then, breaking open a bottle of Jaegermeister, grabbed me in a head lock and rubbed the top of my head with his knuckles. “Hey my man!”, he barked, “You bring a camera?”
To my surprise, Terry was very disappointed that I hadn’t brought a camera. “I wanted you to take my photo. They keep using that one of me wearing that big hat – I look like a f*cking dufus.”

I assured him we would use a different one as we went into the house and down the spiral staircase (like a seashell, or a Spanish cathedral, or a fractal drawing of the universe) to the kitchen. The Jaegermeister was gone. “Do you want some coco-pops?”, he asked, “Or bran? What do you want? Who are you? Are you there? What are you that wants breakfast? Two ways of eating breakfast: the way of fiber and the way of taste? Who are you to ask for breakfast? Have you seen the glory? It was here somewhere. The glory? Near the little bowl where I keep my keys, maybe.”


Terry seemed to drift off and indeed was soon wandering about the house, inspecting the microscopic movement of bacteria or glancing out the window at the flaring sun. I asked him how his latest film To the Wonder had come about.


“I was talking to Ben Affleck and the 007 girl and I got them to run about a bit. Buffaloes in a field, birds take flight, the sun glimpsed through the sudden flash of water. Who are we? What are we? Who cares? Threw it all together and hey presto! Classic!”


And you are currently working on Knight of the Cups?


Temptation, celebrity, excess. Yes.


With Christian Bale and…


Everybody on the planet. I got everybody who I could. You hear the phrase open casting call. I mean I know, right now I know, I’m not going to use half of these people, not even a tenth. You see I write a script like a novel, a really great novel. They read it and they say yes. Then I throw the script out. Throw it the fuck out and get them to walk around beaches, deserts, forests looking confused. Some Arvo Part, a little Gorecki, who knows, a dinosaur even. Bang! Classic! Malick in the house!


Right. 


There’s always got to be a river. Every single film there’s a river. Badlands, The Thin Red Line – that fucker Spielberg and his Saving Private Ryan bullshit – Days of Heaven, The New World and The Tree of Life. River, river, river. You ever see that Redford film, A River Runs Through It? That was Bobby’s homage to me. Oh, and a fire and a bird cage.


Terry slumps worn out with all his thinking and bleary eyed with the liqueur. He naps for a few minutes, and then resumes his musing:


And you know, why do we do this? Is there a God? Who is the power? The power that draws us on? What is it at the heart of nature? Where do we come from? Who are you?  


I like it. Philosophical inquiry, like Heidegger?


No, I mean who the fuck are you? Have you come to install my cable? Terry has to have his wrestling


No, I’m Chad. We spoke on the phone. 


But Terry had lost interest he had opened another bottle of Jaegermeister and was setting off flares in the back garden, screaming ‘I see the glory!” at the top of his lungs. On my way out I spoke to Pedro ,his PA, and expressed my disappointment at the interview. “Such a wasted opportunity.”, I said, “He only gives one interview in three decades…”


“What are you talking about?”, Pedro said, “He gives tonnes of interviews, but they’re all like this so no one uses them.”


At last in Studio Exec, Terry had met an outlet with absolutely no standards whatsoever.

For all the Breakfasts CLICK HERE.

MALICK’S BOND FILM GETS A TITLE

HOLLYWOODTerrence Malick‘s Bond film – previously known as Bond 25 – has now got an official title: The Glory Glory Hallelujah Missile.

The film will star Daniel Craig as Britain’s most feared super spy, James Bond, 007. Music will be provided by Estonian minimalist Arvo Part and the story will revolve around 007 sudden crisis of faith which he will only be able to rekindle by his relationship with a beautiful dancing woman who whispers about nature and reads from a brilliant translation of Heidegger.

The villain is to be played by Adrien Brody but it is unlikely that he will actually appear in the finished picture.

James Bond Vs Godzilla is due for release in 2015.