CREED NOTHING LIKE THE GAME, COMPLAIN FANS

HOLLYWOOD – The long awaited movie adaptation of the Assassin’s Creed video game Creed is now in theaters and fans are furious.

Directed by Ryan Coogler and starring Michael B. Jordan and Sylvester Stallone, Creed had all the promise of a surefire hit, but fan reaction has been harsh and the backlash looks set to continue. So what went wrong? Arch-fan and Creedian, Apollo X. Now told the Studio Exec EXCLUSIVELY about his disappointment.

We heard that they were making an adaptation of the game and we were excited but also nervous. It is a perfect game to adapt because of the narrative structure, the action and the epic scope, but we had been disappointed so many times.

So what went wrong Apollo?

The first danger sign came with the change in the title. From Assassin’s Creed to just Creed. We thought okay. This is like changing Star Wars to just Wars, but okay. Then Michael Fassbender who had been cast apparently dropped out and Michael B. Jordan who is a very talented actor came in.

Is it because he’s black?

No not at all. I had no problem with that but when I saw the movie they had just the whole concept of the game and indeed they seemed to have changed the actually genre in which the story works so well.

What do you mean?

Well, he kind of boxes all the time. He’s a boxer and there’s all this stuff about his father and this old guy (Stallone) who becomes his trainer and who knew his father. I mean’s it isn’t a bad movie at all. It just shouldn’t be called Creed because it has no connection to Assassin’s Creed at all.  If anything it reminded me of an old Rocky movie.

Isn’t it a Rocky movie though?

Sylvester Stallone kept answering to the name Rocky but I thought that was a meta-joke. You know post-modern. Look, if they want to make a Rocky movie that’s great, but why try to tie it in to Assassin’s Creed.

But isn’t the title a reference to Apollo Creed, the character’s father? I mean Michael B. Jordan’s character is called Adonis Creed.

Oh. Oh, I see. Okay. So it is a Rocky movie. Right. Wow. I got the wrong end of the…

Stick yeah. 

Shit. That’s embarrassing. Look forget I said anything.

No problem.

Wait, are you recording this?

Creed is currently in theaters.

 

 

MICHAEL FASSBENDER DROPS OUT OF CREED

HOLLYWOOD – Michael Fassbender has dropped out of Rocky spin off Creed [Click Here for the original story], due to artistic differences.

Michael Fassbender or the Counselor (as he prefers to be known) explained that his involvement in the boxing film – which follows the fortunes of Apollo Creed’s grandson – was actually a mistake.

I thought it was video game spin off Assassin’s Creed but I’d simply gone in the wrong door. Everyone was so nice and polite, but it was clear they weren’t expecting me and when I shot my first opponent with an arrow the director Ryan [Coogler] called me over and said there had been a communication breakdown.

Coogler said that Fassbender’s commitment to the part was uncanny and everyone has denied that this has anything whatsoever to do with race. ‘Michael is half German, half Irish, which is basically black,’ Ryan explained exclusively to the Studio Exec.

Michael Fassbender will be replaced by Fruitvale Station star Michael B. Jordan.

Creed will be released in 2015.

MICHAEL FASSBENDER TO PLAY APOLLO CREED

 

HOLLYWOOD – After months of negotiation Shame (2011) and Prometheus (2012) star Michael Fassbender has signed on to play Rocky’s original nemesis Apollo Creed A.K.A The Master of Disaster, The King of Sting, The Dancing Destroyer, and The Count of Monte Fisto.

The movie – Assassins Creed – is the story of an ex-heavyweight boxing champion who is transported back to Renaissance Italy and is press ganged into becoming the leader of an elite bunch of Assassins.
 
Directed by Len Wiseman and due for release in 2013. Assassins Creed is yet another brave departure in Fassbender’s short but prolific career and we caught up with him on the set of Ridley Scott‘s The Counsellor(2013) to ask about his daring role.
 
Mr Fassbender. Can I call you Michael?

You certainly can Sir.
 
Cool. So Michael you’ve signed up to play Apollo Creed in Assassin’s Creed. What drew you to the part?

Well I’m a big fan of the Rocky series and I’ve always thought Apollo was a strong, charismatic character and he deserved his own spin-off.
 
I see. Don’t take this the wrong way but Carl Weathers, who originally played Apollo, is black and you are white.

(Laughing)I noticed that yes.
 
So I assume you will require heavy make-up in order to perform the role. Are you worried about any controversy that might arise?

Not at all. I think Robert Downey Jnr’s character in Tropic Thunderopened the floodgates and the idea of a white guy playing a black guy will not cause so much of a stir these days.
 
Still, you would have thought they would have hired a black actor to play the role.

Surely you aren’t advocating a studio discriminates against an actor on account of his race? I can’t help being white. I was born white and that shouldn’t hinder my career in any way.
 
Fine. Ok Michael that will do. Thanks for the 
interview.

Wait a minute
 
Sorry. Did you have anything to add?

Aren’t you forgetting something?
 
I don’t think so

You haven’t asked about my (He whistles and points to his crotch)
 
Er…to be honest I didn’t even consider raising the subject.

It’s really that big you know. There was no camera trickery in SHAME or anything like that.
 
Er..good for you I suppose.

Do you want to see it?
 
I’m good thanks but I appreciate the offer.

I can just whip it out now for you. A quick flash it would be no problem.
 
It’s a kind gesture Michael but I really have to go I’m late for an appointment.

Oh no bother. Next time then. Thanks for the Interview.
 
Assassin’s Creed will be released in 2013.