SCRIPT LEAK: APOCALYPSE NOW 2


INT: US Army Headquarters. Nha Trang

Colonel Lucas ( Harrison Ford) is sat at his desk in his office completing paperwork. Captain Willard (Martin Sheen) knocks on the door.

Lucas

Come in

Willard enters.

Willard

Hello Sir

Lucas stands up to shake Willard’s hand.

Lucas

Captain Willard. How was the trip back?


Willard

If I’m brutally honest Sir it was terrible. We was on the river for three weeks. All of the crew contracted dysentery and we ran out of food, cigarettes and deodorant. One man got eaten by a crocodile and another got his legs blown off by a bazooka shell. I took so much acid that I’m convinced I can read dogs minds I’m one strong coffee away from having another god damn heart attack. But at least I completed my mission Sir. Colonel Kurtz is dead.

Lucas

Er. I don’t know how to break this to you Captain but we got a report this morning that Colonel Kurtz is very much alive. Sure you severely wounded him but according to our information he’s on the mend.

Willard

Ha-Ha. Very funny Sir. Now if you don’t mind I need to grab a shower and get some rest.
Lucas

Sorry Captain but there is no time for that. The next boat leaves in 10 minutes and I need you on it.
Willard

Seriously Sir stop kidding around

Lucas

I’m not kidding you were sent on a mission to assassinate Colonel Kurtz and you have not completed that mission.

Willard

You’re serious?

Lucas

Deadly serious

Willard

But I hacked the guy up with a f*cking machete. His guts were spilling all over the f*cking place!

Lucas

But did you actually see him die?

Willard

There’s no way he could have survived his f*cking head was practically hanging off! I 

Lucas

But did you actually see him die?

Willard

He was lying on the ground covered in blood mumbling.

Lucas

What was he mumbling?

Willard

I don’t really know I was really stoned. It sounded like ‘O’Hara, O’Hara’. I thought she must be an Irish ex girlfriend or something.

Lucas

So he was mumbling and then what happened?

Willard

Then I left.

Lucas

He was still mumbling when you left him?

Willard

Yes, but…

Lucas

Captain Willard in your professional opinion would you say that a man who is capable of speech is more likely to be dead or alive?

Willard

Oh F*ck me sideways.

Lucas

Grab a quick shower Captain Willard. The boat leaves in 10.


FIN