BREAKFAST WITH ASSHOLES 20: WILL AND JADEN SMITH

 MOSCOW – We meet in Russia of all places where Will and Jaden Smith are promoting their new film Another Earth, a (gulp) M. Night Shyamalan eco- Science Fiction Oblivion style thing.

Cornflakes, hot milk, grapefruit juice and half digested Stephen Hawking.

Apparently you believe life can be understood through patterns.


Will:
 I am a student of patterns. At heart, I’m a physicist. I actually have a white coat I sometimes wear. With pencils in the breast pocket. I look at everything in my life as trying to find the single equation, the theory of everything. 
Is there a single theory to everything?
Jaden: D’uh! There’s definitely a theory to everything.
Will:
 You tell him son. When you find things that are tried and true for millennia, you can bet that it’s going to happen tomorrow.
Jaden:
 The sun coming up?
Will:
 The sun coming up, that’ll work. But even a little more. Like for Best Actor Oscars. Same thing, right? Often someone will get an Oscar for like a film and if they don’t do a film then they won’t get an Oscar. Patterns!
Do you see patterns too, Jaden?
Jaden: I think there is that special equation for everything, but I don’t think our mathematics have evolved enough for us to even—I think there’s, like, a whole new mathematics that we’d have to learn to get that equation. We need another symbol which would look like a fried egg being hung from a mountain. 
Will:
 I agree with all of that. Damn you’re smart.
Jaden:
 It’s beyond mathematical. It’s, like, multidimensional mathematical, pscho-matical. If you can sort of (?) understand what I’m saying.
Are both of you religious?
Will: No, we are students of world religion. Like there’s Jesus and Buddha and Mohammed and we like combine all of them. Like Jebumed Chrisha. You dig?
You and Jaden have acted in two movies together, including After Earth. Are you planning on a third?
Will: If you were a student of the ‘pattern’, you’d have to say we’re going to do another one.
Jaden:
 I definitely would do another one, absolutely. You know, how Ingmar Bergman and Max Von Sydow used to always do films together, Martin Scorsese and Robert de Niro? We’ll have a relationship like that, though I’m not sure if those guys were related.
Do you think of that as a separate relationship from your father-son relationship?
Jaden: It’s kind of like father and son, except that we’re going to work together. [Points to his dad.] Like you worked in your family business with your dad. I’m just working in my family business with my dad. Patterns, BOOM.

Jaden, how does it feel to be famous?
Jaden: I think it’s fun, except when people make up stuff about you like those assholes over at Studio Exec. Then it’s not so much fun. But besides that, I enjoy it.