HOLLYWOOD – Last night, Nic Pizzolato confirmed True Detective 2 will star Ashton Kutcher, John Cryer and Angus T. Jones.

Pizzolato explained his decision:

What we have here is the whole package. They’ve worked together before, plumbing the dark obsidian heart of the American family in Two and a Half Men. And with Angus T. Jones we have exactly they kind of loopy Christianity which is perfect for the character. 

It has already been confirmed that the characters for the Second Season will be totally different from the first season. And the setting of the show will also have changed. 

We are in California now. Not Los Angeles, but the less known California. Disneyland, Sacramento, the Big Sur. Places like that. And the story is all about the dark mythos of the lurking deities of the mouse which haunts the Californian hinterlands of the swirling psychosphere.  

 True Detective 2 returns in 2015.


COLORADO – Former child star of uber-popular sitcom Two and a Half Men where he played the hilarious half, Jake Harper, Angus T. Jones has once more shocked the world with a statement in which he explicitly refuses to grow a decent beard.

His statement reads:

It is against my Christian beliefs which I hold very close to my heart to grow a proper man bush. This scraggly pubic horror that you see lingering here beneath my nose and mouth is a sign that I am not pray to the vanity that currently disgusts me and any right minded Christian folk. If the Lord wishes to remove this abomination from my face, then he in his Almighty goodness could do so with even the lightest of breezes. That breeze is yet to come.

Many have criticized Charlie Sheen for encouraging the young actor, but blame has also fallen on Ashton Kutcher who has a record of sporting less than totally convincing facial herbage.  Mr. Kutcher could not be reached as he is currently engaged to marry Mila Kunis and, well…

Christian groups however have also come out and criticized Jones. Pastor Hampton, a theologian of mustaches, beards, whiskers and goatees told Studio Exec:

Mr. Jones is being very restrictive in his reading of the Bible. Although Leviticus does state ‘Lo! Bless the growth upon thy chops be it never so scrawny and look not away at another man’s beard with envy’. But we know for a FACT that Moses and Noah had beards. And we’re talking Sequoias in comparison to Angus’ butt fluff. And were they not holy men?

 However Jones is unrepentant and his sect – Church of the Barefaced Jesus – is also fully supportive. ‘It is a fact,’ said the head of the sect Barney Stump. ‘That our Lord Christ is depicted in the earliest renderings as a bare faced youth. The beard was only added by the Byzantines later, where a beard was a symbol of kingship.’

If you have a view on Angus T. Jones’ beard please use the comment box below to leave your thought droppings.