DARREN ARONOFSKY DIRECTING CLIPPY BIOPIC

BREAKING NEWS – The Studio Exec goes on set with Darren Aronofsky directing Clippy The Movie. We managed to catch up with the Requiem For A Dream and Mother! writer / director to get the latest on his new project. With Darren Aronofsky directing Clippy The Movie, we find out what drew him to this surprising project.

Darren Aronofsky Directing Clippy? Thanks For Taking Time Out To Talk With The Exec

To be honest, I’m glad to have something else to do. I’m just sat there on set, twiddling my fucking thumbs.

Why Is That?

We decided to make Clippy a combination of stop-animation and CGI. There’s fuck-all for me to do. It’s just people running around with green body-suits on and plasticine. Actually, it’s kinda sexy, now I think about it.

Can You Tell Us Anything About The Movie?

Yeah, why not? Who Cares? It tells the story of Clippy. Everyone over the age of 35 will remember that little motherfucker popping up on your computer and saying, ‘It looks like you’re trying to write a letter. Would you like some help?’ It’s a story about someone compelled to just be annoying because he’s constantly shunned for mansplaining every time he opens his mouth. It’s a story about toxic masculinity that leads him down a path of alienation and self-destruction. If you think The Wrestler meets Requiem For A Dream, but set in an animated kids world, you can’t go far wrong.

Jesus.

Yeah, he’s also in it. The main part of the film tells the story we all know. But then, things get really fucked up and trippy in the last third of the movie. You know, like they did in Mother! There’s all sorts of creepy, pseudo-religious images because Clippy is wandering the digital wastelands. He’s searching for redemption and meaning in his now redundant life. It’s an age old tale. I guess we all grow old and insignificant and because of that, we assign meaning where there isn’t any. It’s like T.S Eliot said, ‘I will show you meaning in a handful of dust.’

You Kinda Lost Me There?

Look, just plug the fucking movie, because it’s got loads of CGI shenanigans going on. Think Wallace and Gromit meets Angel Heart with a bit of Tron thrown in and you’re basically there.

Clippy The Movie Is Due To Be Released Next Year

47 FILMS: 34. ANGEL HEART

In our continuing series of ’47 Films to see before you’re murdered in your dreams’, we look at Alan Parker’s Voodoo Noir Angel Heart.

The Eighties were fascinated by the Fifties. There were chart-topping reissues of Wonderful World, there were Levi adverts and in movies Stand By Me, Diner and Back to the Future played on an ever hungry nostalgia for the period. Even Billy Joel revived his career with doo-wop ditty Uptown Girl. But for me the best take on the era came from one time British commercials director Alan Parker. His dark noirish fantasy begins in a wonderfully realized 1955 New York, with Mickey Rourke as Harry Angel, a gum shoe with a sleazy commitment to his job, permanent stubble and a thing about chickens. Hired by Louis Cyphre (Robert de Niro) to find dance band crooner Johnny Favorite, Harry finds himself roughed up and bounced from Harlem to the bayous of Louisiana as his quest takes in fortune tellers, evangelicals, good old boys, corrupt cops and practitioners in the dark arts. Haunted by fearsome dreams of an elevator, the Private Eye only just manages to keep on top of things, but when he also falls for Evangeline Proudfoot (Lisa Bonet) you know things are going to get bloody.

Parker consistently made beautiful grim looking films. No one does grit quite as well in commercial cinema. Far less fond of the sheen than compatriot Ridley Scott, Parker also made consistently downbeat films, from the nightmarish view of a Turkish prison in Midnight Express, to the dirty end of fame in … well Fame, even when he made a kids movie, it was a weirdly filthy gangster pic – Bugsy Malone was a musical to boot.

Angel Heart is possibly his best film. The performances are terrific, with great cameos from Charlotte Rampling, Brownie McGhee and Robert de Niro himself, and a towering Mickey Rourke in his disheveled gone to seed perfection. Alongside Rumblefish, the best performance of his tragically curtailed career. With a haunting theme by Trevor Jones, those saxophones played by Courtney Pine, Angel Heart is the cool noir to set aside Blade Runner as the most inventive reinventions of the genre.

For more of our ’47 Films to see Before you are Murdered in your Dreams’ Click Here.

FIRST IMAGE OF KANYE WEST IN ANGEL HEART 2

HOLLYWOOD – The first image of Alan Parker’s Angel Heart 2 starring Kanye West was released onto the internet today.

Although he hasn’t made a film for almost a decade, Alan Parker is filming a follow up to his 1987 supernatural thriller Angel Heart, provisionally entitled Angel Heart 2.

Alan Parker spoke with the Studio Exec EXCLUSIVELY:

We left Angel Heart on a natural finish point. I felt there was a satisfying twist and I didn’t feel any need to revisit it. But Kanye West is a huge fan and we began to talk one evening after a gala screening of the Road to Wellville (and yes they do have them) and we got to talk about what happened to the baby.

What happened to the baby?

Yeah, Harry Angel’s kid. Of course, we know that Harry was either executed or serving a life sentence for murder but what happened to the devil child he spawned. That’s when Kanye said, ‘What if he grew up to be me?’angel6

And from small acorns…

Mickey Rourke is on board and Robert deNiro will do a cameo.

And the script?

It’s a collaboration between myself and Kanye. We’re using a lot of his own life, because it does kind of smell of sulfur.

Angel Heart 2 will be released in 2019.

DIRTY GRANDPA NOT AS GOOD AS RAGING BULL

HOLLYWOOD – The internet was shocked today to learn that Robert de Niro’s new film Dirty Grandpa is ‘not as good as Raging Bull.’

Film critics have almost unanimously asserted that the comedy starring Robert de Niro and Zac Efron – Dirty Grandpa – is not as good as Raging Bull.

Xavier Poulis of the World Film Critics Association was not alone in expressing his disappointment.

It’s really galling. Every time we go to a new Robert de Niro film we think this time it’s going to be great. This one is going to be the one that really knocks it out of the park, but it’s not even nearly as good as Raging Bull. It’s almost as if it’s terrible. I don’t know how this has happened.

Variety, The Hollywood Reporter, Deadline, The New Yorker, The New York Times, The LA Times, Slash Film and the UK Guardian all took the unprecedented step of issuing a joint statement.

Robert de Niro’s film Dirty Grandpa is not as good as Raging Bull, this much is clear. But what the public should know before they go and see this picture, is that it is not as good as The Deer Hunter either, nor The Godfather Part 2, nor Once Upon a Time in America, nor The King of Comedy, nor Goodfellas, nor Casino. It isn’t even as good as Cape Fear, We’re No Angels and Midnight Run. It’s not as good as Angel Heart or A Bronx Tale. So by all means go and see it, but don’t expect to see anything like what Mr. De Niro has provided in the past. Except perhaps Meet the Parents, Meet the Fockers etc.

Strangely, DirtyGrandpa has been hailed in France as Robert De Niro’s best film ever because of ‘post-modernism’.

Bad Grandpa is out now.

ROBERT DE NIRO RELEASES SERBIAN FOLK ALBUM

SERBIA – Former actor Robert De Niro – last seen in 1987 in Alan Parker’s Angel Heart – has sensationally returned to the entertainment world; but not as we know it!

Now performing under the stage name Mija Aleksic, the artist formerly known as Robert De Niro is set to take the Eastern European folk charts by storm with his heady mix of suggestive lyrics and thumping rural soundscapes. His debut album Seksi Keks (translation: Sexy Bare Bum Cheeks of the Lady in the Waterfall) is already causing waves in the industry with pre-release vinyl orders going through the barn roof! Speaking from his humble farmhouse recording studio, Aleksic spoke to Studio Exec about the inspiration behind the new album:

It’s a political album at heart, but also a love letter to the people of this complicated and changeable region of the world. On the eve that Kosovo struck for independence, the germ of the album took seed and it’s grown and flowered into this undergrowth of expression that I hope will spread to all my brothers across the former Kingdom of Yugoslavia. There’s also a strong current of sexy bum, which I think will have Pan-European appeal.

How do you think the album will translate to your American fans?

I have a song called The Mighty Condor which is about the story of a boy born of a village whore and a monkey, the boy grows to become a great hero and single handedly saves the harvest from the raiding parties of the Blue Faced Mean Ones. It’s universal. There’s a verse where he sees a sexy bum through a crack in a grain cart.

Seksi Keks will be available by mail order in the Spring.

MICKEY ROURKE’S FACE FALLS OFF

MIAMI – The Wrestler and Rumble Fish actor Mickey Rourke was rushed to hospital last night after his face fell off.

The actor was at a Miami Beach restaurant I Love Sushi when fellow diners noticed his face slipping.

An eyewitness told the Studio Exec EXCLUSIVELY:

It was the weirdest thing I ever saw. He had finished his noodle soup with green peppers and was starting on his sushi, when suddenly Steve Guttenberg, who was eating opposite him, said ‘Mickey, Mickey your eyes!’

A shocked Guttenberg spoke on the phone:

 Where his eyes were there were these lumps of skin and his nose had just gone all squishy. At first I didn’t know what was happening and then – like an avalanche of tired old flesh – it just all went schlupp and landed in his sushi platter. Mickey didn’t seem to be in any pain. He just looked at me and smiled that crooked little smile of his and then called for a towel. It was typical Mickey. Only he would choose a sushi restaurant in Miami Beach.

Rourke reportedly toweled off the sticky mixture of gore and fixing paste to reveal his shocking new face, which looks remarkably similar to how he looked in 1988. A spokesperson for Rourke commented:

There is no need for panic this happens about every twenty years to Mickey. He sheds his skin you know. Like a snake. Or xenomorph. Mickey is in no pain and is in fact delighted. He’s sure that now he will get some different roles and won’t have to demean himself with that Whiplash bullshit he had to do in Iron Man 2.

Mickey Rourke will be appearing in Diner 2: McDonald’s in 2019.

POULTRY WORLD’S TOP 5 CHICKEN MOVIES

SUFFOLK, UK – By day Poultry World is the leading magazine for all things poultry, but by night they are cinema fanatics hunting out the best in poultry related cinema, armed only with puns.

And EXCLUSIVELY in collaboration with Studio Exec they have laid their top five feathery films. 

1. Chicken Run: I know it’s obvious and it came under criticism from the industrial side of the poultry business with its gross mis-characterization of the factory vs. free range debate, but you have to love this Aardman classic with some wonderful voice work from plucky Mel Gibson.  

 2. Chicken Little: Talk about plucky!? Ha ha. That’s a … yeah. This re-imagining of the old fairy tale is a zippy fun animation with loads of jokes for the adults as well as fun for the kids. And everyone’s favorite Kickstarter Zach Braff does the voice honors.

 3. Poulet Aux Prunes: Following her wonderful Persepolis, Iranian filmmaker Marjane Satrapi came up with this live action feature starring Mathieu Amalric as a suicidal musician. Hilarious.

 4. Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead: The Troma studio produced this wonderful comedy-horror (available to view on the internet I think). Some of us however didn’t like gore, which ruffled a few feathers.

 5. Angel Heart: Okay, it isn’t on a level with Indiana Jones’ ‘Snakes! Why did it have to be snakes?’ but Mickey Rourke’s alektorophobia is a running joke through Alan Parker’s otherwise tense sulfuric thriller.

 To visit the Poultry World website Click Here.

5 FACTS YOU NEVER KNEW ABOUT ROBERT DE NIRO (PART TWO)

HOLLYWOOD – Robert De Niro is so especially fantastic that in order to celebrate his 70th birthday 5 FACTS didn’t seem enough.

So before you can say ‘Are you talking to me?’ here are 5 more FACTS about Uncle Bobby. 

1. No one has ever seen Jack Knife, except you.

2. In The Deer Hunter, De Niro was actually supposed to be hunting boar but shot a deer by accident. Michael Cimino changed the title of the film and used the footage.

3. When filming Angel Heart De Niro got very jealous of young actor Mickey Rourke and so when Rourke asked him for advice De Niro told him to take up boxing and plastic surgery. 

4. To play Noodles, the Jewish gangster in Once Upon a Time in America, De Niro got his little fellow clipped. Director Sergio Leone found it hilarious and shot a scene of De Niro’s circumcised penis but unfortunately and ironically that scene also had to be cut.

5. Taxi Driver is often cited as Robert De Niro’s most autobiographical film. De Niro was a taxi driver when he was looking for a break as a young man. He also rescued a prostitute from gangsters and shot them up, becoming a local hero. Paul Schrader – the script writer – denies any knowledge of this and said he was freaked out by the coincidence, so much so that he hasn’t written another film since.   

For more Movie FACTS CLICK HERE!

FREE ALAN PARKER

LONDON – A new campaign has started to liberate Alan Parker, the British film maker behind such hits as Angel Heart and Midnight Express, who has been held under house arrest since his atrocious The Life of David Gale was released in 2003.

Lisa Bonet joined other celebrities at an event in the K-Mart car park near Venice Beach where protesters sacrificed chickens and danced about in a way that by-standers called ‘disturbing’ and ‘irrelevant’.
However, though the Bugsy Malone director has many supporters, not everyone believes Mr. Parker should be freed.
‘The Life of David Gale was pretty bad and before that Angela’s Ashes, sheesh,’ butted in Martin Scorsese. ‘Then Pink Floyd The Wall and Fame [makes being sick noises].’

Despite Scorsese’s hatred of Parker, others have rallied to his defence, including Dennis Quaid who appeared in Come See the Paradise and Nicholas Cage who had an early role in Birdy back when he was still acting.