ANG LEE LINES UP LITTLE BOOK OF CALM

HOLLYWOOD – Taiwanese director, Ang Lee – fresh off the success of the no-holds-barred action blockbuster The Life of Pi and Billy Lynn’s Long Halftime Walk– has signed on to film an adaptation of another unfilmable book, Paul Wilson’s massive best-seller The Little Book of Calm.

‘It’s vacuous, trite and full of semi-mystical bullshit for people who want religion without the pogroms,’ said Lee. ‘I see it as a direct sequel to Pi.’ 

Mr. Lee said that he first came across the book when he was playing with himself:

Life can be quite stressful and  I used to seek relief by following the example of Onan. Well, I spotted this book in a pile after inadvertently hitting it bull’s eye. I opened it at random and read. ‘When you rest, you are a king surveying your estate. Look at the woodland, the peacocks on the lawn. Be the king of your own calm kingdom.’ That was it. I was hooked. 

The film has already signed up Joaquin Phoenix and Christian Bale. Bale said that his recent experience in prison has changed him (for more on that story READ HERE): 

I picked up the Little Book of Calm and read: “When you’re feeling under pressure, do something different. Roll up your sleeves, or eat an orange.” All of a sudden everything seemed okay. And Michael Keaton was just a bad memory.

The Little Movie of Calm will be released in 2018.

5 FACTS YOU NEVER KNEW ABOUT MATT DAMON

HOLLYWOOD – The Facts about Matt Damon have long been hidden from public view, but the Studio Exec knows no fear, except for fear itself and litigation and so on we go with Good Will FACT Hunting if you will, which you probably won’t.

Matt Damon FACT attack alert:

  1. Matt Damon is NOT gay. Though frankly who gives a flying fish from a soul elevating Ang Lee film? That’s right not us buddy. Nor he. Tired of having to field rumors, he finally admitted that he wasn’t gay even though he said that he had too much respect for gay pals to deny it as if it was an accusation. Hats off Mr Damon. A class act.
  2. Damon is an inveterate gambler since his time working on the film Rounders. In fact his appearance in  Oceans 11, 12 and 13 were due to him losing a series of bets with George Clooney. His appearance in Saving Private Ryan ironically was a result of Steven Spielberg losing a bet with Ted Danson.
  3. Ben Affleck and Matt Damon famously wrote the screenplay for Good Will Hunting as a calling card for themselves as actors, although (as they later admitted) Damon did most of the writing, while Affleck did the ‘coloring in’.
  4. During the audition for The Bourne Identity Doug Liman was genuinely amazed by Damon’s method, turning up entirely unaware of what role he was auditioning for and actually trying to order a pastrami sandwich. Later Damon admitted he had mistaken the audition room for a Subway outlet due to the LSD he had dropped and had no idea what Bourne was until he attended the premiere.
  5. Matt Damon’s new films include Elysium, a Science Fiction drama featuring that Jodie Foster and Suggs a biopic of the lead singer of British reggae group Madness. He is currently in negotiations to buy Norway, because ‘it’s be kinda cool to have a country’. 

For more FACTS click HERE.

JOE PESCI’S LITTLE BOOK OF CALM







NEW JERSEY – When rumours that Joe Pesci was to star in Ang Lee‘s film version of Paul Wilson’s Little Book of Calm were first doing the rounds, many said that it was a perfect fit (for more on that article CLICK HERE).

But it just got even better, with the veteran actor and Goodfellas star Pesci – inspired by the making of the film – publishing his own version of the best-selling anthology of fluffy inspirational wisdom.

Here are some extracts:

When feeling as if the world is on top of you, close your eyes and imagine a beautiful scene; a white beach perhaps, or a tropical island. As calm returns go outside and punch the first person you meet in the throat.

There are two ways of dealing with a tense situation: either accept the stressful contours of life or put someone’s face in a vice.

If life gives you lemons, stab it in the throat with a f*cking pen. 

When you rest you are a king surveying your own calm kingdom. Look at the peacocks on the lawn, the fish in the pond, the mounds of recently turned earth.

Try doing something different for a change; like eating an apple, rolling your sleeves up or even not garotting someone for just one day. Strangle them with your bare hands instead. Has that helped?  


Joe Pesci’s Little Book of Calm is available from all good book shops and Amazon. 

JAMES CAMERON TO SCRIPT CROUCHING TIGER HIDDEN DRAGON 2

HOLLYWOOD – Avatar genius James Cameron is to script the sequel to Ang Lee’s hit kung-fu movie: Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon 2.

The Titanic director, who is currently hard at work on Avatar 2 and 3, took time out of his busy schedule to talk EXCLUSIVELY to the Studio Exec about his work on the project:

I’m very good friends with Ang Lee ever since on the eve of my expedition to the bottom of the Mariana Trench he sent me a good luck card with a picture of Nemo from the movie Finding Nemo. And inside he wrote ‘I hope you find your Nemo!’ It was really one of the most thoughtful things I’ve ever received. I mean I don’t have a lot of friends.

How did that lead to you working on the script?

Well, I got to thinking about the film when we watched the original over Christmas last year and so I wrote a spec sequel. This is something I often do. That’s how I got the original job on Aliens. I wrote the script and just gave it to Walter Hill. And I got the gig. Before that I wrote a prequel to Jaws. My version is called Jaw.

What happens in the film?

It is essentially similar to the first film in that a sword is stolen and the hero and his longtime friend, who he wants to be his girlfriend, but who he can’t because he’s like a monk or something, anyway they have to retrieve the stolen sword. But in this movie we decided to repair what I saw as an essential flaw in Ang’s version. We’re going to actually have Dragons and Tigers and loads of them. Sure they’ll be some crouching and some hiding, but in Ang Lee’s version there was so much hiding I didn’t even see the Goddamn dragon. And I can only assume the tiger was crouching behind the dragon!

Crouching Tigers Hidden Dragons will be released in 2016.

BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN REMAKE WILL BE HETEROSEXUAL

HOLLYWOOD – A new remake of the Oscar winning Ang Lee film Brokeback Mountain will be entirely heterosexual, said director Brett Ratner today.

Continue reading “BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN REMAKE WILL BE HETEROSEXUAL”

CANNES DIARY: DAY 4

CANNES – So there’s me, Benicio del Toro, six Chilean short film directors and Valeria Golino and we walk into this bar. It’s not a joke. I’m just bragging. 

So we’re well into the festival and I have to say one or two things I’ve learnt for the benefit of my fellow festival goers and hopefully it’ll be of interest to you sad sacks who couldn’t get into an international film festival even if you were Ang Lee’s shorts.



  • ·         Upstairs at the Palais, they have the theme music from Jurassic Park playing. Don’t worry this is not a satirical comment on the age of your junk, nor is it a tribute to Steven Spielberg, rather it’s a way of discouraging cocaine use as it is well known that hop heads despise velociraptors.
  • ·         The security hate bottled water and will confiscate it as you enter the Palais or any of the screening rooms. Do not flout this rule. It doesn’t exist for any safety reasons, or hygiene, or to avoid spillage, but because the security all had a childhood trauma with bottled water and are sent into rages at the sight of it.
  • ·         If you meet Tom Brook of the BBC don’t try and touch his mustache. It’s tempting I know, but leave it alone. That’s Tom’s mustache and he’s the only person allowed to touch it.
  • ·         Don’t eat the free sweets in the press room. I laced them all with laboratory strong acid. Incidentally, this explains the positive reviews for The Bling Ring, all of which came from the Press Room.  

ANG LEE TALKS POSSIBLE BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN 2

HOLLYWOOD – Brokeback Mountain was a breakthrough film for its two young leads Jake Gyllenhaal and Heath Ledger, an Oscar winner and an immediate seminal film for the gay community and now Ang Lee – talking to French cultural magazine Chapeau – has hinted that he might be interested in filming Brokeback Mountain 2.

When asked about future projects, Mr. Lee first told the interviewer about his project based on the Little Book of Calm starring Joe Pesci (for more on that story CLICK HERE), but pushed to look further ahead, the Hulk director said the following:

I’ve always wanted to go back to the world that Annie Proulx and Larry McMurty created for Brokeback and revisit those characters. It’s especially fitting that we should see how Jake’s character responds to Ennis’ death, seeing how Heath is no longer with us.

 Je ne comprends pas! C’est ridicule! It is the Ennis character who is alive at the end of the film and Jack Twist who dies.

Was it? Jesus. Really? 

Ma oui! 

I suppose I’ve always wanted to revisit the world of Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon. I wanted to find out what happened to Chow Yun Fat’s character, having to deal with Michelle Yeoh’s death.   

Brokeback Mountain 2 will be released in 2015. 

MASSIVE OSCARS UPSET

HOLLYWOOD – Tonight the Academy for Motion Sickness and Something Something caused massive controversy and consternation in the Hollywood world by not doing anything in the least bit surprising.

The brilliant TV movie Argo won best picture; Daniel Day-Lewis won for best ACTOR; Amour won for best no honestly film is an art form and not just a commercial venture; Christoph Waltz for not being a Nazi and instead being a white Martin Luther King and Jennifer Lawrence won because last time she won something her dress fell off.

Life of Pi won for best visual effects, which was especially nice since the people who were responsible for those effects have all since been fired: ‘We couldn’t have done this without the people now outside protesting’. Adele won for Best Song; Anne Hathaway for discouraging girls to go on crash diets; Ang Lee for best director (which he is, but not for this film); Tarantino for best screenplay, which really should have been best two thirds of a screenplay. How we wish wish there was a category for best script editor. Searching for Sugarman, deservedly won Best Documentary although like many, maybe I’m not qualified to judge as it was the only one I’d seen in the category.

In the end one of the triumphs of the night was Seth MacFarlane who proved an astute choice and injected some much needed edge into the proceedings. Sorry we doubted you Seth. Still, Pope Benedict XVI has some really blue material I’ve heard.

To read all of our Oscars coverage CLICK HERE.

JOE PESCI SIGNS ON FOR LITTLE BOOK OF CALM

Ang Lee’s next film The Little Book of Calm looks set to see the return of veteran character actor, Joe Pesci. Pesci has been working for years now with the David Lynch foundation on promoting the benefits of transcendental meditation and in the new film by the Taiwanese director will play a guru who comes to Los Angeles and promotes an understanding of the invisible beauty of life.
Mr. Shine Box – as he prefers to be known – told The Studio Exec:

I have worked in this business for years and a lot of people would come up to me and ask me for advice. They’d say “I’m stressed out Joe. I don’t know how to handle the stress.” And I’d say “What are you? a fucking eleven year old girl? You fucking whining in my fucking ear. I ought to stab you in the fucking ear. You come over here with this bullshit again and I’ll fucking bite your eye out, now get out of here you fucking mutt.” And you know what? They calmed the fuck down. Cured. Never saw them again.

Ang Lee welcomed Joe’s participation.

He’s a wonderful guy. He told me he loved my work especially Crouching Tiger and Brokeback Mountain. I said I loved him in the Home Alone films, and he suddenly went very serious and asked if I was amused by him. If I thought he was just a clown, sent to amuse me. Shark’s eyes have more life. 

As for the story Mr Lee revealed it would be very similar to the first Crocodile Dundee film.

FLUFFER: LIFE OF PI















Resident inebriate and charmer, Sir Edwin Fluffer gives us a fascinating insight into the making of the years most popular films.
 Without a doubt this was one of the most arduous shoots I’ve ever been on, and an actor of lesser experience would’ve found it a lot more difficult than I did! The idea was to pay homage to that wonderful Alfred Hitchcock movie, Lifeboat. Hitch provided his traditional cameo for this picture by appearing in an advert in a newspaper that’s found in the boat and a few of us decided to do the same as a little joke. 

We spent a lot longer than we probably needed to getting the photo right, and if I remember rightly that was because I arrived on set slightly worse for wear after a very good lunch.  The trouble was that every time we put the newspaper on the raft it kept blowing into the sea, so after a couple of takes we just forgot about it. Sadly I never got to meet the tiger, but I’m assured he was quite charming.

LIFE OF PI: REVIEW

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THE LIFE OF PIE: THE FRAY BENTOS STORY











Legend has it that in 1977 during a five day cocaine and whiskey fueled session. Martin Scorsese and Robert De Niro discussed the possibility of bringing the story of De Niro’s idol, Fray Bentos, to the big screen.

Paul Schrader was hired to write a first draft and after six weeks he delivered the script to Scorsese who claimed it had the potential to be ” The Citizen Kane of baked dish movies”.


Unfortunately during one of his many fights with his then girlfriend Liza Minelli, the script was destroyed and after Schrader informed Scorsese that was the only copy in existence, the project was abandoned.


Cut to 2003 and Schrader found another copy of the script in the basement whilst looking for his old freebasing equipment.

” I can’t remember writing it” said Schrader. ” The 70’s are a bit of a blank. I vaguely recall writing a slapstick comedy called Taxi Driver but they tell me Marty cut out all the funny scenes.”

With the script rediscovered Scorsese was keen to pick up where he left off but Schrader refused.

” That Wop motherfucker might have fucking fucked me once but there ain’t no fucking way he’s going to fucking fuck me twice ”

Schrader offered the script to Micheal Bay who passed claiming it wasn’t ‘High octane’ enough and after it passed through the hands of most of the directors in Hollywood. It eventually landed on the desk of Ang Lee.

” I loved it” said a misty eyed Ang

” On the surface it’s a simple story about the rise and fall of a Pie Maker but when I removed the puff pastry crust and sifted through the processed meat. I discovered generous chunks of metaphors in a rich spiritual gravy”.

Lee worked with Schrader to adapt the script for a modern audience and utilize 3D technology.

” Paul was very generous. I showed him some storyboards of how we would use 3D to highlight some of the major events in Fray’s life such as the discovery of his famous chicken and mushroom filling, the affair with Goldie Hawn and his ill fated exhibition match with Bruce Lee.”

Ang was worried the Bentos family would object to some scenes. Particularly those that portray Fray’s descent into drug abuse and sadomasochism but after showing them a private screening, they gave the movie their blessing.

” The Bentos family gave me a box of Steak and Ale as a thank you present. I’ve been eating like a king for the last two weeks!. Unfortunately I’ve had to cut down as my doctor informed me my cholesterol level is off the scale but as soon as I sort that out. I’ll be hitting those pies with a vengeance”

Ang Lee’s the ‘Life of Pie: The Fray Bentos Story’ is due for release in December 2012