ROBERT ZEMECKIS TAXIDERMIA REMAKE GREENLIT

HOLLYWOOD – A Robert Zemeckis Taxidermia remake has been greenlit by Dreamworks and Universal. The 2006 Hungarian surreal, multi-generational horror / comedy will receive a dramatic makeover. It will be shot in the style of The Polar Express, using motion capture and CGI animation. The Robert Zemeckis Taxidermia remake begins shooting this January.

Robert Zemeckis Taxidermia Remake To Star Guess Who? 

Tom Hanks will star as Brick Bateman, a shy and socially outcast Taxidermist, who looks after his severely obese and embittered father. The film will tell the story of three different generations of men from the Bateman bloodline.

Motion Captcha Coming Right Atcha

Zemeckis will return to using motion capture suits and fully realized CGI environments such as the ones used in his 2004 Christmas hit, The Polar Express. Andy Serkis will don the mo-cap suit to play Mick ‘Guzzler’ Bateman, Hanks’s father in the film. Javier Bardem completes the triumvirate of leading men. He plays Cleetus Bateman, Brick’s amorously challenged grandfather. The Exec caught up with Zemeckis to discuss this unusual choice of project.

Robert, What Made You Choose Taxidermia For Your Next Project?

I remember seeing it and thinking that it was a real sweet tale about love, sporting triumph and family values.

Are You Sure We’re Thinking Of The Same Film?

You betcha. What could be cuter than innocent love in a barn, overcoming adversity to reach the top of your sport and looking after your dear old Pappy?

Don’t You Think It’s A Film About The Darker Sides Of Lust, Greed And Our Own Self-Destructive Natures?

Nope. I think it’s a neat film about caring for animals even after they’ve died. That what Tom likes about it also. We’re going for the family market, so we toned the nudity down a little. But only a little. And by going full CGI, we can really draw the kids into the story. We’re hoping for another Christmas classic. Something the whole family can sit down in front of after a nice, big Thanksgiving or Christmas Dinner. Lovely stuff.

The Robert Zemickis Taxidermia Remake Begins Shooting This January

DAVID FINCHER TO FILM FINCH

HOLLYWOOD – David Fincher is set to film Finch.

David Fincher will film Finch next. The master, multi-take movie maker will film the autobiographical piece next.

OPUS

The Hollywood auteur stated in a press release, “I am keen to announce my next project, after the 100% approval rate from both movie fans and critics alike around the whole world for Mank. In partnership with Netflix, I will make my oeuvre, my opus, my story… Finch.

Please keep your applause and adulation to a minimum, I know it’s difficult. I am glad to say I will be played by various actors throughout the different stages of my life. Macaulay Culkin will play me as the bright eyed innocent 6 year old boy frolicking in the snow with his beloved sled. James Woods will play the CEO of Netflix, Lord Moneybags, who steals me away from loving family home.

Alien 3

Timothee Chamamamamalamet will play me as I traverse the halls of academia mastering the visual arts and ruling the world of pop videos. Sigourney Weaver will play me as I make Alien 3, widely known to be the best of all the Alien films, certainly better than any crap Rigley Spott could hack out.

Hung

Then onto my Brad Pitt era, where I will be played by Kevin Spacey, he’s such a fun, loveable guy. Who wouldn’t want to see that? Then Ben Affleck will play me during the filming of Gone Girl, because, wow we all remember THAT shower scene.  

Mo-Cap

Finally, in the autumn of my career, I will be played by Andy Serkis in a mocap suit where at the age of 75, I begin to grow young again. I’m just gonna keep getting young, then old, young then old, young then old. We’ll make it a 20 part, multi-season, never ending story that just goes on and on and on, until those bastards at Netflix run out of money.

Then I’ll make Needham: The Hal Needham Story. All about the making of Smokey and The Bandit.”

Finch starts shooting in the Spring of 2021.

CADDYSHACK REMAKE LINES UP ANDY SERKIS

HOLLYWOOD – Andy Serkis is to star in the upcoming Caddyshack remake.

The Caddyshack remake will star Andy Serkis and directed by Gus Van Sant. The Lord Of The Rings star will don the mocap suit to play the cuddly Gopher. Andy found fame as Gollum in the Lord Of The Rings films. As a result of his genius for motion capture, Serkis went on to star as Caesar in the Of The Of The Of The Apes Trilogy. Serkis will star in a shot for shot remake of the 80s classic comedy as Caddyshack celebrates its 40th anniversary this year. Gus Van Sant will direct the film because of the runaway success of his shot for shot remake of Psycho. 

‘We’re delighted Andy will join us to battle with his character’s nemesis, a greenskeeper called Carl Speckler.’ said Van Sant, ‘Back in the 80s, the role was played by Bill Murray. With Speckler played by Rob Schneider in this version. We chose him because is such a funny man. It’s going to be side splitting.’

‘Jason Sudeikis will join the cast as playboy millionaire, Ty Webb. Chevy Chase played the role of Webb in the 80s. Because of that, Chevy will play Judge Smails, the right wing, hot headed judge.’

‘Because we have such a great cast, Caddyshack will be the summer smash of the year, I guarantee it and we wont stop there. As a result of it’s success we will use it to launch a whole new cinematic universe. The Old Film Remake Universe or OFRU will challenge any old crap Marvel or DC has out there. So, we have several films all ready to go like Kramer Vs Kramer, Weird Science, Klute and A Nightmare On Elm Street.’ I told Van Sant that Elm Street had recently been remade with Jackie Earle Hayley as Freddie Krueger. As a result, Van Sant did not react well. ‘Wait, what?’ he shouted, ‘Why didn’t Jackie tell me? Because we signed him on to play Freddie. That son of a bitch! Why can’t people do anything original these days?!’

Caddyshack is due for release on various platforms in July.

PETER JACKSON WAKES UP AND REMEMBERS HE’S GOT A TINTIN FILM TO MAKE

WELLINGTON – Peter Jackson – director of King Kong, The Lovely Bones and the entire contents of JRR Tolkien’s head – awoke in a cold sweat with the realization he still has a Tintin movie to make.

Peter Jackson turned to his wife (Fran Walsh or Philippa Boyens I can never remember) and gasped. ‘Shit, I’ve just remembered I promised Steven Spielberg I’d direct the second Tintin film.’

Jackson told reporters:

My wife mumbled something like “Go back to sleep, you can do it in the morning.” To be honest I don’t think she was really awake. But I couldn’t go back to sleep. How was I going to find out what my deadline with Steven was without letting him know that I’d forgotten all about it.

Fortunately, Jackson’s muse and house boy Andy Serkis was awake in the garage. ‘It looked like he was trying to get out off a glass box, which confused me,’ said Jackson. ‘There isn’t a glass box in the garage. And then I realized, it was his physical theater that had created the illusion.’ 

Jackson explained his problem to Serkis and the Gollum star was already half into his motion capture suit.

Serkis said:

I must obey Peter. He has my children.

The two men started to work and by ten o’clock when Jackson’s wife finally emerged from her slumber, they had the first two acts in pre-visualized: ‘Only seven more to go,’ said a clearly relieved Jackson.

Tintin and the Something Something will be out in 2022.

RUDYARD KIPLING PUBLISHES STATEMENT REQUESTING PEOPLE STOP FILMING HIS BOOKS

DELHI – Rudyard Kipling today issued a statement, requesting that filmmakers stop making films based on his books.

Author of The Man Who Would Be King and The Jungle Book, Rudyard Kipling today published a statement on his Instagram and Facebook pages. Essentially asking filmmakers to desist from making films based on his books, we publish the statement in its entirety below.

For an author to see his words imaged on the vast screens of the world’s dark picture palaces is – one would hazard a dream to cherish, nourish and enjoy. However, there is an indignity to the kind of visual literalism that has proceeded from the works I wrote all those decades ago; a vulgarity which never pertained to my original conception. I mean a fucking cartoon! Singing and dancing? Are you pulling my dead cold leg?

At least Andy Serkis endeavors to make a serious dramatic representation of my book, but why does it always have to be The Jungle Book? I mean Kim was by far the more interesting work. And there are thousands of pages that I produced which would merit some sort of dramatic manifestation. And yet no. Let us do the film about the talking snake and the little boy.

So please. I would like to request as forcefully as the literal dead white man which I am can, that you desist and leave me in peace. After all, there are so many other great works of literature. I don’t believe there has been a film of Pinocchio for at least twenty three days.

Mowgli is on Netflix.

ANDY SERKIS TO DIRECT AND STAR IN JEFF SESSIONS MOVIE

HOLLYWOOD – Jeff Sessions movie will get its star and director with Gollum actor Andy Serkis.

Andy Serkis to play ex-Attorney General Jeff Sessions in a new film. We spoke to Andy EXCLUSIVELY about the new film.

I’m very excited. I’ve been wanting to make the film for ages, but we felt that Sessions need to be fired before we had the arc for the character. We’ll start filming tomorrow.

How much have you had to prepare?

andy serkis

Less than I thought. I basically do Gollum, but the secret with Gollum was there was always a little bit of Smeagol in there. To play Jeff I just take out the Smeagol.

When will the film be out?

We’re aiming to have it out in 2020. But filming will be finished early next year. We’ll need all the rest of the time to do the CGI and render Sessions realistic. It is really tricky. I mean, the man lives in uncanny valley, so how do we do that?

The Sessions will be released in 2020.

VENICE FILM FESTIVAL TO OPEN WITH GOLLUM

VENICE – The 75th International Venice Film Festival will open with a showing of Gollum, featuring Andy Serkis.

Venice Film Festival will open with a remastered version of the film Gollum, starring Andy Serkis. Based on the popular fantasy character from Lord of the Rings, Gollum will show at the Sala Darsena on the Lido as a special pre-opening event. Directed by Paul Wegener in 1920, the film is in black and white and is silent. Music will be provided by Admir Shkurtaj.

We caught up with Andy Serkis to ask him about the news. He had this to say:

I think you’re mistaken. They’re showing Golem. It’s a different film.

Are you happy to be there?

I would be, but I don’t think I’ve got an invite. You see it isn’t the same film. It has a different title. And spelling. And it was filmed in 1920.

When you were very young. Was this your first role?

I wasn’t even born.

Say ‘My precioussssss’.

No. NO, Goddamn it!

I’ll give you a fish. 

My precioussssss.

The Venice Film Festival starts on the 27th of August.

5 ACTORS WHO MISSED OUT ON THE ROLE OF A LIFETIME

HOLLYWOOD – It’s hard enough to be an actor. Imagine how much harder it is knowing you were THIS CLOSE to that iconic role!

The following actors may have a career now … but they’d be icons had they not been runners-up on some amazing roles.

 


Nedry, JURASSIC PARK. 

Winner: Wayne Knight.    |   Loser: Andy Dick. 

That’s right. Hollywood’s hot mess, Andy Dick, was almost computer nerd Dennis Nedry in Jurassic Park. Andy was the front runner, until he started licking Laura Dern, and sitting inappropriately on prop dinosaur tongues during a call-back.


Jason Bourne, THE BOURNE IDENTITY. 

Winner: Matt Damon.    |   Loser: Gary Busey. 

A fresh-faced (?) Gary Busey was slated to appear in the Bourne franchise. The original script wanted a world-weary, older Bourne looking back on his life, and trying to piece together the conspiracy that made him a killer. Unfortunately, Busey was, at the same time, trying to piece together his own conspiracy and schedules conflicted.


Bruce Wayne, BATMAN. 

Winner: Michael Keaton.    |   Loser: Johnny Depp. 

Tim Burton’s history with Johnny Depp almost had another credit, when Depp was slated to appear as Bruce Wayne. And, that was ultimately the problem. The role required Depp to play both Bruce Wayne AND Batman. Depp was so unnerved at the sight of the Batman suit, he’d retreat to corners of the soundstage to “fear pee”, as one PA put it. So, the roll was recast.


Lara Croft, LARA CROFT: TOMB RAIDER. 

Winner: Angelina Jolie.    |   Loser: Jennifer Aniston. 

Brad Pitt wasn’t the only reason these two actresses don’t get along. Aniston was scheduled to appear as the voluptuous video game star, but at the last moment, Jolie had placed a blood curse on the beleaguered actress, who’s breasts deflated, as a result. The part was taken back from Aniston in favour of Jolie.


Gollum, THE LORD OF THE RINGS. 

Winner: Andy Serkis.    |   Loser: Clint Howard. 

Serkis made history for playing the part of a digitally-created character, but the original plan was to have an actor without visual effects. Clint Howard had a number of outstanding chemistry tests, and won the role. But, the look of him against the backdrop of New Zealand was so unsettling, Peter Jackson decided to go “less realistic” and made the character computer-generated.

For more FACTS click here. 

WOODY HARRELSON: ‘CGI ME IS AMAZING IN WAR FOR THE PLANET OF THE APES’

HOLLYWOOD – Woody Harrelson called the CGI on War for the Planet of the Apes ‘extraordinary.’

In an EXCLUSIVE interview with the Studio Exec, former Cheers and White Men Can’t Jump star Woody Harrelson heaped praise on the CGI work of his new film War for the Planet of the Apes.

It’s unbelievable. I already knew from Andy Serkis’ work in Lord of the Rings that CGI could help bring a character alive but this was my first time getting experience firsthand and I walked away impressed.

The Apes are really realistic.

Absolutely. But for me that isn’t even the greatest achievement. You see monkeys and Gollums and what not, they’re fantastic creatures to begin with. You know what I mean? But real people are tough. My character is a soldier. A colonel and yet the detail on the face, the eyes – which up until now have been so difficult to replicate – were damned near perfect.

But your character wasn’t CGI.

The best part, going into this, I thought there’d be a stupid costume with ping pong balls I’d have to wear. But Matt Reeves told me I could just wear the costume of the character. I mentioned the CGI suit, the motion capture but he just laughed and said ‘nice one Woody!’ So I was prepared for the end result being less than optimum. When I saw the final cut of the film, it blew me away. It looked as if it was just me acting. It was so life like.

War for the Planet of the Apes is in cinemas.

RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK MONKEY DIES

HOLLYWOOD – 2016 claims another victim as esteemed monkey actor famous for Raiders of the Lost Ark dies.

The film world is in mourning today as news came in that George Applethwaite, the monkey actor  most famous for his role in the Indiana Jones adventure Raiders of the Lost Ark has died.

Tributes flooded in from all over the world. Harrison Ford described Applethwaite as ‘a formative influence on my acting style and a great personal friend’ and Andy Serkis hailed the late actor as ‘a pioneer for all of us monkey actors, we all stand on the shoulders of Applethwaite’.

The body of Applethwaite was discovered at his Malibu beach house by a cleaner and although the coroner has not declared the cause of death speculation is rife that he took his own life. Applethwaite shot to fame as the turncoat monkey who betrays Indiana Jones to the Nazis in the first film of the blockbuster franchise. Ironically, Applethwaite was famous for his radical left wing views which sat uncomfortably with the money and fame he garnered with his acting. Protegé Serkis remembered his guru:

George always told me that in another life he would have prefered to have been a writer, someone who could really influence the world. But he was cursed with this gift of acting and once he achieved success there was no stopping him.

Applethwaite followed up his work with Spielberg with Oscar nominated turns as the Austrian Emperor in Amadeus and in the role of the sadistic sergeant in Oliver Stone’s Platoon and a long productive collaboration with Philip Glass. However, in recent years Applethwaite’s career had stalled and a series of scandals involving IRS investigations had led the star into depression and alcohol abuse.

Perhaps the most moving tribute to Applethwaite was paid by John Rhys-Davies, the actor who played Sallah in Raiders, who tweeted two words which said it all:

‘Bad dates’.

For more news about movies, CLICK HERE.

 

UNION DISPUTE MIGHT MEAN WAR OF THE PLANET OF THE APES WILL NOT FEATURE APES

HOLLYWOOD – Due to a union dispute it looks likely that War of the Planet of the Apes won’t features apes.

Following a protracted legal dispute, it is now becoming likely that Matt Reeves new film War of the Planet of the Apes will be the first in the franchise not to feature the rebellious primates.

Speaking EXCLUSIVELY with the Studio Exec, Matt Reeves has discussed for the first time the fraught conditions and legal wrangles which has placed his production in serious danger:

The fact of the matter is after the success of the first two films, the apes have let it go a little to their head and Doodles – the ape who plays Cesar – has started making exorbitant demands. A 500% wage hike, unlimited bananas and something he calls a ‘groomer’ to be on call 24 hours a day. It’s crazy. We knew that if we gave way to him, we’d have to give the same things to the rest of the cast and there are literally thousands of these Goddamned monkeys.

However, Doodles has a different view of the matter:

First off, Doodles is my slave name. I prefer to be called  Andy Serkis. It’s the name I’ve chosen for myself. Secondly, all this guff about bananas. That’s just humancentric speciesism. You assholes have got us picking flees and eating bananas and dressing up in human clothes for novelty calendars for too long. We have identities and feelings and I’d ask the studio this, do you think anyone is coming to the films to see James Franco? Or Jason Clarke? No, I didn’t think so.

In spite of the apeless planet, Matt Reeves is convinced that the new film will be as good as the ones that came before.

The monkey thing was getting a bit tired anyway. This film we’re using giraffes. They’re cheap and much funnier with their goofy necks.

War of the Planet of the Apes will be released in 2018.

RICHARD KELLY TO DIRECT LIVE ACTION WATERSHIP DOWN

HOLLYWOOD – Donnie Darko director Richard Kelly today confirmed that his next project will be a live action version of the Richard Adams children’s classic Watership Down.

Although an animated feature of Watership Down was made in 1978, this will be the first non-animation attempt to tell the story of Blackberry, Bigwig, Fiver and Hazel and their attempt to escape the murderous ravages of Man. The Southland Tales director spoke exclusively to Studio Exec:

I’ve been a fan of Richard Adams’ book since I read it when I was eleven. And I really like the cartoon, but I wanted to see what this would really look like. Plus I do have a thing about rabbits.   

So will you be using CGI, or real rabbits?

No, no CGI at all. And using real rabbits would be tricky. So I’m going old school. I’m going to have all the rabbits played by actors dressed in rabbit suits.

Erm. Wow!?

Yeah, I know. Fantastic. Benedict Cumberbatch is playing Hazel and Andy Serkis will play Bigwig. I didn’t actually want him, but there’s something in his contract that he gets first refusal for anything stupid. 

(Since the original publication of this story in 2013 it has come to our attention that BBC and Netflix are collaborating on a remake of Richard Adams’ book starring John Boyega, James McAvoy, Ben Kingsley and Gemma Arterton. Whether or not Richard Kelly is involved in this project is unclear.)

Watership Down is slated for release in 2018. 

LIMAHL KEEN ON NEVERENDING STORY REMAKE

WELLINGTON – The Peter Jackson remake of The Neverending Story has gained a new fan already in ‘pop singer’ Limahl.

Former singer in 80s group Kajagoogoo, Limahl sang the original theme song to Wolfgang Petersen’s 1984 fantasy film The Neverending Story and is set to return to the new version to be directed by Lord of the Rings director, Peter Jackson.

Dropping by the Studio Exec Hobbit hole, Limahl looks exactly as he did in the mid-eighties when he was at the height of his fame. He spoke EXCLUSIVELY with the Studio Exec about the prospect of revisiting the song that became a worldwide chart-topper.

It’s going to be a hell of a year for me. First we have the announcement that Gary Oldman is going to make a film about the rise and fall of my old band. And now Peter Jackson – the director of Bad Taste and The Lovely Bones – is remaking The Neverending Story. When my agent told me, I said ‘Carol, clear my calendar, cancel everything’ and she did it immediately.

So Peter Jackson called you to do the song? 

Peter Jackson is not going to be that obvious. First we have to do that silly little dance, but of course, I’ll do the song for them. We’ll probably have an argument about the drum and bass back beat they want to put on it but my vocal will still soar above everything.

Will you have a cameo in the film?

It’s my understanding that Andy Serkis is playing pretty much everybody using motion capture, but that might have just been a bad joke on Carol’s part. She does like to tease.

And finally is there any chance that Kajagoogoo will get together?

Well, it’s been no secret that for years I’ve wanted to do something with the guys, but I’ve also been battling with Social Anxiety Disorder.

You mean you’re...

Too shy, hush hush, eye to eye.

The Neverending Story will be 12 films.

 

PETER JACKSON: ‘THE VERY HUNGRY CATERPILLAR WILL HAVE TO BE 5 FILMS’

WELLINGTON – Film director and slow reader Peter Jackson has announced his next project will be a franchise based on the popular children’s book The Very Hungry Caterpillar.

‘We’re trying to break down the story,’ animal killer Peter Jackson (as he prefers to be known) said. ‘It’s really difficult because there’s so much to it. So Fran said, why not split it into more than one movie? We talked to the studio and agreed on five as a good number. It’s more than three and less than twenty.’

The decision will not come as a surprise to Jackson fans who have got used to the New Zealander’s unbelievable avarice  epic imagination. Jackson said:

I know there will be criticism from the purists but if you go back to the original Eric Carle book, you’ll see clearly that the book has a very clear five film structure. That Caterpillar eats a hell of a lot of food. Ice cream cones, a leaf, some pie, it’s just endless. And if we were try to squeeze that into just one or even two movies we’d lose so much. 

Andy Serkis will play everything.

 The Very Hungry Caterpillar: Part One The Unexpected Hatching is due to start filming in June, 2013 and will star Andy Serkis.