AFTER BREXIT CHILDREN OF MEN RECLASSIFIED AS DOCUMENTARY

LONDON – Following the shock result of the UK referendum to leave the European Union, the dystopian satire Children of Men has been reclassified as a documentary.

The British Film Institute has reclassified Alfonso Cuaron’s 2006 dystopian satire Children of Men following the Brexit result of the UK referendum on the European Union. A spokesperson for the BFI said:

The thing is we originally thought that the racism and hatred towards immigrants shown in Cuaron’s film was over the top, but actually we see that it is the driving thought of most little Englanders, of who there are much more than we realized.

But why is the BFI making such a political stance?

Well, did you like An Education? Or Hunger? Or Macbeth, Nanny McPhee, Amy, or Tinker Tailor, Soldier ,Spy? Or Game of Thrones? Or Under the Skin, or Pride, or Berbarian Sound Studio?

I didn’t like Nanny McPhee.

But did you like The Lobster, fish Tank, Belle? Shaun the Sheep?

Yes.

Then those were all made with vital help from the EU Media fund which paid the UK over 130 million pounds over the last decade. That won’t be there anymore.

Oh.

Exactly.

Children of Men star Clive Owen.

THE STUDIO EXEC OSCAR PREDICTIONS 100 PERCENT EXACT

HOLLYWOOD – Yesterday we made our Oscar predictions and today we triumph in our 100 percent success rate.

The Oscars 2016 – alternatively known as the Academy Awards of OSCARS – are over and the Studio Exec having made his predictions (click here for that) has seen them confirmed 100%.

Here if anyone is still interested is

Best Picture

Who we predicted to Win: Spotlight

Who Did Win: Spotlight

Best Director 

Who we predicted to Win: Alejandro G. Iñárritu

Who Did Win: Alejandro G. Iñárritu

Best Actor

Who we predicted to Win: Leonardo diCaprio

Who Did Win: Leonardo diCaprio

Best Actress

Who we predicted to Win: Brie Larson – Room

Who Did Win: Brie Larson

Best Supporting Actor

Who we predicted to Win: Mark Rylance – Bridge of Spies

Who Did Win: Mark Rylance

Best Supporting Actress

Who we predicted to Win: Alicia Vikander – The Danish Girl

Who Did Win: Alicia Vikander

Best Adapted Screenplay

Who we predicted to Win: The Big Short

Who Did Win: The Big Short

Best Original Screenplay

Who we predicted to Win: Spotlight

Who Did Win: Spotlight

Best Animated Feature

Who we predicted to Win: Inside Out

Who Did Win: Inside Out

Best Foreign Feature

Who we predicted to Win: Son of Saul

Who Did Win: Son of Saul

Best Documentary Feature

Who we predicted to Win: Amy

Who Did Win: Amy

Best Cinematography

Who we predicted to Win: Emmanuel Lubezki – The Revenant

Who Did Win: Emmanuel Lubezki

Best Music

Who we predicted to Win: Ennio Morricone

Who Did Win: Ennio Morricone

Costume Design

Don’t give a shit

Film Editing

What?

Make up and Hair Design

Pffffffffft.

Production Design

Yes.

Sounding editing, Visual Effects, Animated Short, Documentary Short, Short Short

Nope. Mad Max Fury Road. I think. I don’t know.

For more Oscars Click HERE.

ASIF KAPADIA TO MAKE HALF MAN HALF BISCUIT DOCUMENTARY

HOLLYWOOD – Following his Amy Winehouse documentary Amy, Asif Kapadia has been commissioned to make a new film about popular mid-Eighties rock band Half Man Half Biscuit.

Formed in Birkenhead Merseyside in 1984, Half Man Half Biscuit first gained international fame with the album Back in the DHSS and despite splitting up at the end of the decade soon reformed to produced a string of chart topping albums, including This Leaden Pall, Achtung Bono and This is Godcore. Asif Kapadia spoke EXCLUSIVELY to the Studio Exec at Cannes:

I’ve never known a time that I did not know Half Man Half Biscuit. I think that that  like many people I listened to them at school. I watched them on Live Aid and on MTV. Their videos, the magazine covers, everything they did, I followed. To be honest when I made my film Senna, I wasn’t that interested in Ayrton Senna or motor racing and likewise with Amy Winehouse for Amy. But with Half Man Half Biscuit… this is my passion project.

Founding members Nigel Blackwell and Neil Crossley have disassociated themselves from the film and are refusing to cooperate with Kapadia, but the filmmaker is unfazed.

I think the guys have every right not to be involved. Obviously I’d prefer their blessing, but when you have been subject to the media scrutiny these guys have, I totally understand them wanting to protect what little shred of their privacy they have left.

The documentary will be made up of extensive use of stock footage and concert film, and will it is believed include revelations of Tranmere Rovers support and Ribena addiction.

Half Man Half Biscuit Full Disclosure will be released in 2016.