GEORGE CLOONEY AND MAGGIE SMITH AFFAIR ROCKS DOWNTON ABBEY

DOWNTON ABBEY – George Clooney’s appearance on a special edition of Downton Abbey is a highly anticipated television event but it was revealed today that he took the opportunity ‘to have it off’ with Dame Maggie Smith, AKA Professor McGonagall from the Harry Potter films.

Apparently the two actors were amorous right from the get go. A cast member who preferred not to be named (it was Hugh Bonneville) told the Studio Exec EXCLUSIVELY:

They were all over each other at the script reading. First it was him fetching her pastries and coffee from the cart and the next thing you know they are locking lips and groping each other in broad daylight. Julian Fellowes got quite exasperated and told them to get a room, which they promptly did.

The ITV costume drama was thrown into complete disarray by the cavorting couple, who would even get down to some serious heavy duty petting between takes. During a lunch break the two were caught in Flagrante, a small village near the location, having tea.

Mr. Clooney, who is married to Amal Alamuddin, was unapologetic about his behavior.

‘I’m a swinger,’ he said. ‘We’re all sophisticated adults. We’ve all been round the block. Some of us more than once. Ha ha ha!’

Downton Abbey will be broadcast.

MR AND MRS GEORGE CLOONEY ACCIDENTALLY SINK VENICE

VENICE – Newly weds George Clooney and Amal Alamuddin accidentally sank Venice yesterday when George left the taps running in their hotel bathroom as the two went out for brunch with their friends.

Ms. Alamuddin was wearing a Giambattista Valli Couture dress to complement her platinum wedding ring when they met guest at the Cipriani Hotel for food and drinks. Meanwhile back at the Aman Grand Canal Hotel the bathroom was filling with water and the water was leaking into other rooms causing the 15th century palazzo to subside. This set off a chain effect in neighboring structures and before long the whole quarter of the city was compromised. George, wearing a classic Armani suit and Police sunglasses, greeted fans and reporters with his trademark smile by Valentino. Eating antipasti prepared by the award winning chef, Carlo Ancellotti, the beautiful and glamorous A-listers mingled as the sound of falling masonry and terrified screaming could be heard in the distance.

‘We knew something was going on when we heard the sirens and the helicopters, but we were all having such a good time,’ said one guest, Mad Men’s John Hamm. ‘George and Amal have waited so long for this day we didn’t want anyone to spoil it.’

As the world heritage site rapidly began to resemble a latter day Atlantis, the weekend celebrations continued into the early evening, featuring music from friend and guest Adele. The party was really beginning to rock when some bleeding and half drowned survivors swam to the hotel, but were denied access because their names were not on the guest list.

As the stars came out in the Venetian sky, the newly weds gave a charming farewell to their friends and family and prepared to depart for an undisclosed location for their honeymoon.  The death toll currently stands at four thousand.

 

GEORGE CLOONEY PROMISES WEDDING ‘WILL BE CHEAP’

HOLLYWOOD – George Clooney has promised that his forthcoming wedding to Amal Alamuddin will be really cheap with guests being asked to ‘bring a bottle’.

Former Batman George Clooney spoke to Studio Exec exclusively:

We are very concerned about the message we as celebrities and ambassadors to the world send out, especially in a time of financial crisis and austerity. So the plan is a simple civic ceremony, followed by a lunch at Denny’s, the nearest one to save on cab fare and then back to a friend’s place for drinks and everyone brings a bottle.

Potential best man Brad Pitt okay-ed the plans late last night:

I can bring a bag of weed, but we’ll need to get a sitter.

Initial reports had told of a wedding near Lake Como in Italy where Clooney owns a villa, but the Michael Clayton actor told Variety that he had changed his plans after reading an article about how some people didn’t have much money.

‘I think it’s a disgrace,’ he told our sister publication.

Tomorrowland will be released in 2015.