DANNY DEVITO NAMED MOST FAMOUS MAN IN THE WORLD

HOLLYWOOD – Danny DeVito has been named the most famous man in the world, according to a recent poll.

Danny DeVito is officially the most famous person in the world. The poll was conducted by the Kevin Pollak Society and took in the largest number of respondents and the most geographically dispersed of any poll known to man. People were polled in places as far afield as Iceland, Afghanistan, the Democratic Republic of the Congo and San Marino as well as every country in Europe and the American continent. The figures were overwhelming with Kevin Pollak himself announcing the results from his headquarters in New Jersey:

I’m very happy for Danny. He won by a huge margin. The next nearest person was Martin Sheen but he was way down the field. The most famous woman was revealed to be Alison Brie from Community and Mad Men.

Danny DeVito first came to fame in the TV show Taxi. He has had a highly successful career as a film actor, starring in such hits as Romancing the Stone and Throw Momma from the Train. He moved into directing with Hoffa and has recently moved back to television with It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia.

The poll, which tested facial and name recognition, was based on science.

COMMUNITY TO BECOME A RUSSIAN NOVEL

HOLLYWOOD – Dan Harmon’s nomadic sit-com Community is to be written as a thousand page Russian novel, the Studio Exec learned today.

Community ran for four seasons on NBC before finding a home at Yahoo! site for its fifth. With that season over, there have been many rumors about the possibility of a motion picture or another season, or indeed both. However, the Studio Exec has learned that the show will be written as an epic Russian novel. At the moment it isn’t certain which Russian novelist will have the privilege of chronicling  the next adventures of Greendale Community College and its zany students and faculty, but many believe that Fyodor Dostoevsky, a long running fan of the show, would be a perfect fit.

Xavier Poulis, a Swiss TV expert who writes for cultural quarterly Chapeau, told the Exec:

Dostoevsky  has to be the front runner, but I wouldn’t entirely rule out Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn, the writer of Cancer Ward and the Gulag Archipelago. Although both have a tendency to serious and quite depressing subject matters,  Solzhenitsyn does have the advantage of only being quite recently dead, dying in 2008 whereas Dostoevsky has been dead for yonks more.

Harmon on his podcast Harmontown announced the news that Community would be make the leap onto the page with typical bravado:

When I first came up with the idea of Community and I wrote the original pitch, I immediately imagined the characters being on the Tundra and speaking in thick Russian accents. The studio head told me no and I didn’t have enough power then to resist, but now I am the master of my own destiny, in as much as any of us can be in this godless void, I feel only a Russian master can bring to life Abed, Britta, Jeff Winger, Annie Edison and the Dean to my full satisfaction. My heart was set on Tolstoy but I’d settle for Gogol, or a Vassily Grossman. Or even Bulgakov.

Cообщество will be published in 2016.